Jesus Archives - Dreaming Beneath the Spires

On Re-Learning the Beautiful Art of Friendship

The rather wonderful Stephen Fry upset the internets by telling Irish television host Gay Byrne what Stephen Fry would say to God when they eventually met up.

How dare you! How dare you create a world in which there is such suffering that is not our fault? It’s not right; it’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid god, who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain?”

Because the God who created this universe, if it was created by a god, is quite clearly a maniac, an utter maniac, totally selfish.

He is monstrous, utterly monstrous, and deserves no respect whatsoever.

* * *

Yup, Stephen Fry intends to give God a hard time (and I rather hope God would be merciful and perhaps amused enough not to give Stephen Fry a hard time in turn).

What about Jesus? Would Stephen Fry give Jesus a hard time? Would he dare to? I doubt it. Few people are offended by Jesus.

* * *

Most people love Jesus for his kindness; from my childhood, however, I have wistfully respected his cleverness. The way he got out of the traps laid for him by the scribes and Pharisees. I sometimes realised that fellow students, teachers, nuns or relatives were trying to trap me with their questions (and often did not!), but was rarely quick-thinking, poised, self-confident, or forthright enough to sidestep traps the way Jesus did.

And Jesus impressively summarised monumental ideas in a “tweet“. A sentence. He summed up the law and the prophets (about 622,000 words: 2500 pages in a standard paperback!!) in a sentence–three imperatives. Love God. Love yourself. Love your neighbour.

* * *

Loving yourself. We hear far less of that than of loving God or loving our neighbour.

It certainly wasn’t taught when I grew up in India in the sixties.

What is loving oneself? Caring for ourselves the way we care for our toddlers. Resting when we need to rest. Giving our bodies and minds the foods we need to perform optimally. Not running on empty spiritually, but refilling in God’s presence. Feeding our hearts with good relationships. Forgiving ourselves for our shortcomings and mistakes. Cutting ourselves slack.

Perhaps this radical self-forgiveness makes it easier to forgive others. Perhaps cutting yourself slack makes it easier to cut others slack.

* * *

I went through my entire Facebook today, following some people, unfollowing others. (I periodically do this, thereby giving myself an entirely different newsfeed!)

People who’ve had a near-death experience say their entire life flashed before them. Well, my entire life flashed before me as I looked at every face on my Facebook friends list.

I saw many lovely faces from my past…from primary school and boarding school, from my university days in England and America, from churches in England and America, from writing, from the school gates, former neighbours… Friendships which have endured.

I am more of an extrovert than an introvert. I feel a lot of warmth and affection towards people. I love hanging out with people. I love friendships. But, alas, I am a bit of a classic A type personality, with high expectations of myself and others. Instead of cutting people slack, I can get really annoyed by what is really annoying about them. I sometimes get so annoyed that I basically sever a friendship.

I scroll through my Facebook friends, and see the faces of former real heart-friends, BFF’s who are now just Facebook friends.

And “stalking” these friends’ pages, I see faces of other people I had been good friends with, but had got annoyed with (sometimes for good reason), fallen out with, and am now no longer friends with, at all.

Some faces: so sweet, so full of light. And seeing those faces, I see I had been too harsh, too negative in my judgments, too focused on their very real weaknesses, instead of the very real goodness and light and sweetness in them.

I am sad.

The wonderful Serenity Prayer asks for strength to accept the things we cannot change. To take this sinful world as it is, not as we would have it. There is a lot of wisdom to doing the same with people.

* * *

When I went to St. Mary’s Convent, Nainital, a hill station boarding school in the Himalayas, aged nine, my father, who had himself been sent to a hill station boarding school, Montfort School, Yercaud, aged 6, advised me, “If you find someone really irritating, ignore them. Stop talking to them. But don’t do that too often, or you’ll soon have no one to talk to.”

I obviously hadn’t considered such a course of action, but it became my survival strategy for decades.

Jesus tuned out the scribes and Pharisees and the hypocrites. I have done that erstwhile friends I have got annoyed with instead of talking things through. Instead of learning how to gently confront.

But no more. I will talk things through. I will relate as an adult, vulnerably sharing what is bugging me, instead of relating as the petulant nine year old who solved relational problems by severing the relationship. I will cut people slack, and instead of expecting perfection will ride through the troughs in friendships, the revelation of the shadow side of my friends, just as I would like them to blow off revelations of the shadow side of me with the breath of kindness.

* * *

Michael Hyatt contrasts a successful friend of his with a writer client who craved success which eluded him (and was, incidentally, not brilliant at relationships.)

That success eluded that writer is not surprising. Creativity thrives in a environment of connections and relationships, as Jonah Lehrer observed in Imagine. People are healthier when they enjoy what Dr. Dean Ornish calls “the healing power of social support.” Bowling Alone estimates that each friendship is worth $1000 through the connections, tips, insights and information it opens up. People who enjoy wide, deep and rich friendships are happier, wealthier and healthier!

Because of the mysterious, undeserved grace of God, my life is indeed rich, full, happy and creative. However, it would have been richer, fuller, happier, and more creative, if I had grappled every friend I’ve ever made to my heart with hoops of steel.

* * *

But we can change. We can change at any time. That is the exciting thing about being a Christian.

The friendships I have invested in, I will invest in maintaining.

Change in mid-life? Yup!

* * *

How do we change?

The Greek New Testament word for repentance is metanoia, “to come to your senses; to come to your right mind; to intelligently understand.” We realise that Jesus taught theology in relationship, that Jesus, in effect, behaved as if relationships, vertical and horizontal, were what life was all about; that the core of a happy, successful life was love–loving relationships, kindness, affection. We decide to re-learn the beautiful art of friendship.

But, of course, since perhaps 90% of our psychological, emotional and spiritual life goes on in the dark subconscious realm of imprinted repressed memories, damaged emotions and Pavlovian reactions, changing is more complex than simply deciding to change.

But we have other resources.

We ask for help from above; we ask God to change our hearts. We claim the promise in Ezekiel: I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh (Ez. 36:26). Wow, God changing the deep structure of our hearts, molecule by molecule. (I have experienced this, this slow subliminal change of my heart through the action of God’s spirit within me–so I know it’s true.)

And then we rely on the filling of the Spirit, the Spirit producing fruit within us that we cannot produce ourselves: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, as Paul writes in Galatians.

And so we row on into a happier future, having learned from our mistakes. Row into, possibly, a richer, happier future, than if we had not messed up, analysed our mistakes, repented, and decided to, with God’s help, change.

Does God have Favourites?

By Anita Mathias

When Jesus rose from the dead, whom did he reveal himself to first?

Mary Magdalene.

Why her?

Because she was there.Because she loved him enough to go in search of him, in sheer love, with nothing to gain from the encounter.

* * *

And why was Isaiah granted his precious vision of the Lord, seated on a throne, high and exalted, with the train of his robe, filling the temple, surrounded by winged seraphs flying and calling to one another, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord Almighty, The whole earth is full of his glory.” Because he chose to be quiet and still long enough to see the vision. To overhear the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send?” And so he volunteers, “Here I am. Send me.”

* * *

Those who hang out with God are more likely to hear and overhear what He is saying. To somehow see God’s perfect plan for their lives. To catch his vision and hear his directions. To get in on the secrets of the universe!

In which Jesus Promises Rest to the Meek

By Anita Mathias

I like Jesus’ great invitation at the end of Matthew 11:“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I like that fact that Jesus suggests we learn meekness by observing and studying him. So, obviously, meekness is not a natural character trait like being sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic or choleric, but a learned behaviour.

I have various mantras, what Gretchen Rubin calls “splendid truths.” (One of these, adopted from her, calms me down: “There is only love.”) I need to add one more: “I will learn how to be meek and humble of heart from Jesus.” Since, obviously, it does not come naturally!!

* * *

Why would one want to be humble of heart? Because pride is silly, narrow and self-centred. We are not focused on anything important, anything worth having, but merely on self, on how others perceive us, and treat us.

Why would one want to be meek? Because being gentle is the best way to be, rather than being proud and aggressive.

And besides, the meek inherit the earth: The value of meekness, even in regard to worldly property and success in life, is often exhibited in the Scriptures. It is also seen in common life that a meek, patient, mild man is the most prospered. An impatient and quarrelsome man raises up enemies; often loses property in lawsuits; spends his time in disputes and broils rather than in sober, honest industry; and is harassed, vexed, and unsuccessful in all that he does. (Barnes Notes on the Bible.)

* * *

So how does one learn to be meek? Practice. Practice meek practices.

So that is what I am training myself to do.

Let others have the last word. If someone puts you down, let them.

Overlook lots of things. Blow things away with the breath of kindness. When spoken to harshly, you don’t need to retort in kind. Return a gentle answer or none at all when someone gets irrational through tiredness. This is particularly useful in family life: the blind eye and the deaf ear so that one can get on with one’s work.

Ignore negativity directed at you on social media as much as possible. Block repeat offenders.

Practice, practice, practice, one step after another, until all this becomes second nature!

* * *

Learn from Jesus how to be gentle and humble, and the prize is the rest we seek, as we work–as we sleep–as we relax–as we live.

Our souls are as rested when we work, or hang out at home, as they are after a week of beach and mountain walks, because we are choosing meekness which obviates conflict, and we are choosing humility, daily defining all our grand ambitions, and then placing them in his hands to grant–or not.

We Need Scripture to Help us Make Decisions. But we need the Spirit too. We need Jesus

By Anita Mathias

jacob-jordaens-christ-disputing-with-the-pharisees_2

Christ Disputing with the pharisees (Jacob Jordaens)

Beyond the sacred page I seek Thee, Lord;

My spirit pants for Thee, O living Word!

Mary Lathbury, 1877

³⁹You study^[^c^]the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, ⁴⁰yet you refuse to come to me to have life, (John 5:39) Jesus says to the Pharisees.

Sad and scary words? All that diligent study of Scripture, and yet they did not recognise Jesus as the Christ.

* * *

I have been ScriptureGirl for most of my Christian life.

But I no longer play Scripture roulette. You know: Don’t know what to do—treasure-hunt a Scripture verse to guide you. Find one with relief. Rely on the letter more than the spirit.

As a younger Christian, when stumped in decision-making, I searched for Scripture verses. For instance, we were about to buy our second house in a private sale from our landlord, and pay cash, as we had for our first. The seller was difficult and each time we were closer to exchanging contracts came up with a fresh contractual change. I got so stressed that I refused to sign the day before the sale was to go through. (Now, who was I calling difficult?)

Why? This scripture verse kept running through my head. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peaceful, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere (James 3:17). There was no peace throughout the process, just stress, contention and suspicion. We got a house that cost twice the amount, in a posher neighbourhood, and got a mortgage, of course.

It probably worked out okay, but today, I would seek the face of Jesus, and to hear his voice, and not rely on a single verse of Scripture in spiritual decision making.

***

Other examples: sometimes, Roy might make what I consider a foolish decision. I might demur a bit, but sometimes run out of energy, and say to myself, “Wives, submit to your husbands (Eph. 5:22).” Ah, I can take the path of least resistance, and have a scripture verse to cover my back.

And sometimes, his decisions work out well, and sometimes they most certainly do not.

Today, I wouldn’t rest on a single verse as a cop-out. I would seek Jesus’ face instead and his guidance on whether I should gently pursue the bone of contention, or drop it.

***

I seek the Scriptures for wisdom and guidance, of course, but they are a single element in my decision making, along with seeking to hear the Spirit, and seek the face of Christ.

We do not worship the Bible; we worship Christ. We need the Spirit to help us interpret the word. We need the Living Christ to guide us.

Okay, another example. For the last seven weeks, I have worked hard, Monday to Saturday. I have written my memoir, about 800 words a day, publishing it on my blog, and I have written and published a blog post, about 800-1200 words. I have been running, up to 7000 steps a day. I have been reading. I have been disciplined. And by Sunday, I am shattered.

Sunday dawns, bright and clear. The sun shines. God is in his heaven, and all is lovely in his world. Do I obey the Biblical directive to rest? Sleep in, have a long nap. And heaven knows, my body needs it. Should I worship God today in the cathedral of the bird-loud open fields as I walk and pray instead of in a stained-glass-shady church?

Or do I obey the Scriptural directive to “forsake not assembling together,” and drag my groggy self—sluggish mind, sluggish body– to church, when I know I would be more energized by a run, and a nap, and praying in solitude.

If I were playing Scripture roulette, running my life by the written word, I would say, “Forsake not assembling together,” and drag my tired self to church, sometimes get bored and restless and irritated, and sometimes, be blessed by the music, and the atmosphere, and the quiet presence of a few hundred people worshipping God.

But, ah middle age, wonderfully liberating time of life! I seek a person: Jesus, more than random scripture verses. “So, what should be my game plan for today, Jesus? Should I be restored by going to church, worshipping in community, and be possibly inspired, and possibly bored by the sermon? Or should I nap, garden, pray, run, watch a movie, read, relax at home, minister to myself through prayer and scripture and worship music, and reach Monday bouncing?”

I do worship best in community. But of late, I have sensed Jesus giving me this wonderful, cherished permission slip to really rest. (Though I sense this is a very short-term permission slip!!)

So that’s how I increasingly make decisions. No more picking out Proverbs and verses. Instead, I sit quiet before Jesus, try to “see” him, try to hear his voice, and sense which way the wind of spirit is blowing.

* * *

Will this lead to what some evangelicals fear as the great folly of “the Jesus I know?” You know, where you suspect that Jesus would be full of mercy and compassion towards all those called to ministry, both men and women, gay and straight, because Jesus in the flesh was full of mercy and compassion towards everyone, except those who were judgemental and self-righteous.

“The Jesus I know.” Does it make sense? Why, yes, of course. That’s the only Jesus we can know—through a mixture of study of scripture in which he is revealed; and through the Holy Spirit who continued to reveal Him (“He will teach you all things, and make known to you everything I have commanded you,” John 14:26) and through prayer, talking and listening to the Living Christ, who makes his home within us (John 14:23). How foolish it would be to accept the Jesus someone else knows, rather than the Jesus we ourselves know.

No two people had the same relationship with Christ. He berated the Pharisees for their pride and obsession with reputation, but offered understanding and acceptance to the shamed woman at the well, or the woman caught in adultery or “the woman who had led a sinful life.” Naturally each of these knew a different Jesus.

How foolish it would have tell the demoniac whom Jesus instructed “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you,” Mark 5: 19 to obey Jesus’s directive to the rich young ruler, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Jesus said different things to each of them.

* * *

The church has always had dominant, vocal groups who soapbox about the Jesus they know, and the theology they have concocted, and bully, shame and silence the rest with their proof texts to accept their Jesus. A Jesus who thinks exactly as they do on all the hot button issues of the day, and is, for instance, complementarian, not egalitarian; who is anti-women -bishops and anti-gay marriage, but pro-life, pro-guns and pro-death penalty.

It is neither intellectually, spiritually nor psychologically safe to accept the Jesus someone else knows. We just have to do the difficult, time-consuming work of searching the Scriptures for ourselves, praying, and seeking Jesus.

Will we get things wrong in this process? Yes, probably. Possibly inevitably.

Will Jesus hold these things against us? No.

Stupidity is not a sin. Laziness and spiritual indifference which seeks acceptance by the dominant group by accepting other people’s theologies without searching the Scriptures or seeking Jesus and his Spirit for ourselves—these, on the other hand, would not impress Christ.

* * *

How scary it would have been to accept the Scriptural readings of the experts, the learned scribes and Pharisees who had spent their lives studying the Scriptures–and, as a result, totally not recognize the real incarnated Jesus.

We can risk that if we accept the dominant theology or theological-political discourse whether it is about hell or homosexuals, abortion or women when it lacks the mercy and compassion, the fresh grace, fresh fire, and fresh astonishment which characterized Jesus.

Return to the Scriptures, search them for yourself, ask Jesus to reveal himself to you, convict you, jail-break you, turn you upside down, fill you with the joy He came to give you, and which so often goes missing in action when we accept other people’s strait-jacketed, straight-faced, straight-laced Jesus.

Oh, but I want the real one–the wild-eyed, astonishing, scary, uncompromising, flexible, brilliant man who walks through the Gospels, and steps off their pages into my life.

Oh, just give me Jesus.

What Kind of Blog would Jesus have Written?

By Anita Mathias

A few words Jesus wrote

Well, if Jesus were a blogger, rather than an itinerant preacher, what kind of blog would he have?

1) It would be unique. It’s recorded that people were amazed at his words. No man ever spoke the way this man does (John 7:46).

Oh great. That’s a tall order. And how do I be unique?

By being myself.

Since no two people see the world in the same way, by being honest, we stumble upon the secret of being original, of being unusual.

Each person is unique, as unique as each snowflake, rose, fingerprint, zebra’s stripes, the iris of an eye, or the dots on a penguin’s chest.

As we grow to utter honesty, we discover in the process–unique blogs.

2) It would be full of grace and truth.

Full of graciousness, of course, but it would be honest too. Hypocrisy was the trait Jesus most abhorred in the Pharisees, “who did everything to be seen by men” (Matt. 23:5) and honesty was the trait he adored, for instance, in his foot-in-the mouth, speak-first-and-then-think disciples.

3) It would be a blessing.

There would be life in it, living waters, and nourishment–the bread of life.

4) Would Jesus spend time in gaining readers for his blog, or would he proceed on the “If you build it, they will come?” principle?

Both. He sees Philip and Matthew and invites them to follow him. He invites himself to Zaccheus’s house for a meal.

And the real-life friendships which grow out of blogging is one of its great pleasures.

But I get the impression that Jesus went about his Father’s business and drew people to him because there was life in his words. That he would have delivered the Sermon on the Mount if there were five people there, instead of five thousand.

If one invests time in blogging, it is perhaps only sensible and responsible to invest some time in finding readers for one’s blog. And I do far too little of that…

5) Jesus would not embark on or continue a blog without being sure that blogging was his Father’s will for him, what he was called to do.

He said, “I do nothing on my own.” I think he would be continually checking in with his Father on what to write, and how much to write, and how.

6 A blog written by Jesus would be somehow prophetic.

He would listen to his Father until he heard him speak. He would record what he heard.

6 A blog written by Jesus would be varied, like his teaching ministry.

Jesus used parables and sermons, exhortation and admonition. He taught his disciples spiritual lessons from their everyday experiences. He used metaphor and allegory, humour and satire.

He loved pithy aphorisms—oh how he would have loved Twitter—and stories which, twenty centuries later, reveal fresh depths of meaning each time we ponder them.

He loved questions. His favourite answer, in common with many Jewish rabbis was a question, which silenced his questioners.

* * *

I would love my blog to bear some resemblance to the blog a central figure in my spiritual, emotional, and thought-life might have written.

And how do I do that?

Oddly enough, it begins with relaxing. Slowing down.

Spending more time with him–to catch his spirit. To have my soul filled with his bread of life, and with the living waters He said would flow from those who believe in him.

C.H. Spurgeon on Why Jesus is Better than Switzerland, its Alps and chocolate.

By Anita Mathias

“If any of you can save up money to go to Switzerland, you will never regret it, and it need not be expensive to you. If you do not find your head grow on both sides, and have to put your hands up, and say, `I feel as if my brains are straining with their growth,’ I do not think you have many brains to spare.

As I have stood in the midst of those mountains and valleys, I have wished I could carry you all there. I cannot reproduce to you the thoughts that then passed through my mind; I cannot describe the storms we saw below us when we were on the top of the hill; I cannot tell you about the locusts that came in clouds, and devoured everything before them; time would utterly fail me to speak of all the wonders of God which we saw in nature and in providence.

One more remark, and I have done. If you cannot travel, remember that our Lord Jesus Christ is more glorious than all else that you could ever see. Get a view of Christ, and you have seen more than mountains, and cascades, and valleys, and seas can ever show you. Thunders may bring their sublimest uproar, and lightnings their awful glory; earth may give its beauty, and stars their brightness; but all these put together can never rival Him.”
C.H. Spurgeon