Resurrection | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

The Power of Christ’s Resurrection. For Us. Today

By Anita Mathias

The dawn after the worst day,

Mary Magdalene and her friend Mary had seen

Jesus, whom they deeply loved—

A radiant, beautiful, strong young man

Tortured, mocked, and judicially murdered.

But as they visit the tomb, they encounter Jesus,

Very much alive. Chairete, he says, Rejoice.

And then, the very first sentence the risen Christ,

Speaks to those who love him–Do not be afraid,

Me Phobeisthe.

Do not be afraid. Why?

Because the impossible has happened,

And a dead man has returned to life

(And was later seen by at least 516 people).

The risen Jesus is no longer confined by

The dictates of space and time.

Like oxygen, he is with me

In every room I enter, and with you,

An invisible, but real friend.

I am never alone.

Wisdom and strength is always available

If I slow down and request them.

Do not be afraid, because the resurrected Jesus

Breathed on his disciples, and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit,”

As he breathes on us today.

Jesus observed that justas even evil parents,

Do not give a snake to a child asking for fish,

Or a scorpion to a child requesting an egg,

His Father will not refuse His Holy Spirit

To those who ask for it.

And it is the power of the Holy Spirit

Which helps us change

Our hearts, our characters, and our lives.

Do not be afraid,

Because the resurrection of Jesus

That explosion of seismic power

Has burst the boundaries of what is possible.

God’s miracle-making power is now available to us

Our world is now a whole lot more magical.

The Apostle Paul writes that the surpassingly

Great power for us who believe,

The hyperballon megathos tes dunameos,

The dynamite power of God available to us on request

Is the same as the power which raised Jesus from the dead.

And so we have the Holy Spirit’s help for the issues of our lives.

Nothing God wants us to do will be impossible to us.

And so, we need no longer be enslaved by addictions,

Dependencies and our own bad habits. We can break

An addiction to chocolate or sugar or caffeine

(All of which I have eventually done!).

We can get out of the confining rooms

Of bad habits and our personal “can’t does”

Sometimes just like that,

With an act of will empowered by the Spirit.

The risen Jesus gives us the key to key to freedom.

“I once was dead, but now am alive,

And I hold the keys,” Jesus tells John

In the Book of Revelation. The keys of his Kingdom,

In which he wants us to live peacefully

As we would under his real-life kingly eye.

We can find freedom from indulging a bad temper.

And by turning our eyes on Jesus, as the old hymn says,

And an arrow prayer for his help,

We can channel our cranky, negative energy

Into prayerful intense focus on how best to live

Our one wild and precious life.

We can progressively find freedom from tormenting

Emotions or thoughts which waste our time and distract us:

Emotions of jealousy, unforgiveness, worry, anger or fretting.

God’s explosive, dynamite power can invade our lives

And progressively change them,

Through prayer, through the power of the Holy Spirit,

And, also, through our own willpower and determination.

(And God also works through counselling,

And talking to wise, trusted, friends.)

To get God’s endless energy and boundless strength

(as Eugene Peterson puts it) to saturate our little lives,

We need to slow down,

So that we remember to pray, and

Ask for God’s guidance and blessing

Over each thing we do in course of our days.

As we begin to master this habit,

Our days will look different.

Our lives will look different.

Everything in our lives gets better by practice:

Running, or writing, or good housekeeping or prayer.

So, start transforming your life by prayer.

Start small. Ask for God’s wisdom

Before you embark on the activities of your day:

Sessions of housework and decluttering,

Exercise, gardening, meeting friends, emails,

Social media, business or leading things.

God, how do I do these things well?

Can I do them better, in a more efficient

Or maybe a kinder way?

Does this even need to be said, or done?

God, who will guide us, likes nothing to be wasted,

Including our time, the most irreplaceable thing in our lives.

You’ll be amazed at the efficient and wise suggestions

The Spirit has, on how to do things

You’ve often done far, far better.

And as we increasingly experience God’s guidance and

Mini-miracles, our faith increases.

Practice praying on your walks,

As you do your housework or gardening,

As you drift off to sleep.

Practice praying deep into your life,

And over it, in ever-widening circles.

Anything in our lives that we do not

Bathe in prayer is something we believe

We don’t need God’s help to accomplish.

And that is foolish.

So I am training myself to convert

My thoughts into prayer,

To pray through the preoccupations,

Which scurry through my mind,

Writing, work, finances, health, travel plans

The things I want to see happen in my children’s lives

And, also, to pray for my friends and, sometimes, even my enemies.

We skitter like water striders on the surface of life.

But if we slowed down, the Spirit would whisper to us

The words which sustain the weary.

Oh, what grace we often forfeit,

Oh, what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry,

Everything to God in prayer.

Prayer is like pouring this immense flood of light and power

Into the little petri dish of our problems.

When we do it, God’s power can change our circumstances

Sooner than we ever imagined.

As we practice bathing our lives in prayer,

We ourselves change,

Our lives slowly change,

And our faith increases.

Oh God of resurrection,

Come with your dynamite power into our lives.

We put our old dreams and our new ones into your hands.

Bring them to life. Make them glow.

Come like a mighty burst of spring into our lives

Bringing apparently dead relationships, dreams,

The things we once loved,

And all our dormant potential to radiant life.

We put our lives into your hands.

Make them beautiful.

Come Lord Jesus.

Amen.

This is a meditation on Matthew 28.

I would love you to read my memoir, fruit of much “blood, sweat, toil and tears.”

Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India in the UK, and in the US, here, well, and widely available, online, worldwide 🙂

If you’d like to follow these meditations the moment they appear, please subscribe to Christian Meditation with Anita Mathias at Apple Podcasts, Spotify or

Amazon Music

or Audible

If you’d like to read my previous recorded meditations,

7 The Power of Christ’s Resurrection. For Us. Today

6 Each Individual’s Unique and Transforming Call and Vocation

5 Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts

4 Do not be Afraid–But be as Wise as a Serpent

3 Our Failures are the Cracks Through Which God’s Power Enters our Lives

2 The World is full of the Glory of God

1 Mindfulness is Remembering the Presence of Christ with us.

Thank you 🙂

At the End of Broken Dreams, an Open Door

By Anita Mathias

About 20 years ago, in Williamsburg, Virginia, we used to sing this in church, “At the end of broken dreams, an open door.”

I sung it because I liked the lyricism, but I had no interest in the open door at the end of broken dreams because then the dreams would have to be broken, right?

* * *

Well, well, well…

My daughters, choosing their own paths, ask me what my goals were when I was their age. I confess–with a wry smile–that my life barely resembles the dreams I had at 21.

Well, hello there, “failure.” Except the word has lost its sting. Sadness has given way to a shrug.

My life hasn’t worked out as I wanted…more dreaming than writing….though I perhaps have some good decades ahead of me.

And had a career worked out as I had wished, there would have been a lot more stress, busyness, pointless work, self-promotion, and exhaustion, and I would have reached middle age substantially more tired. And in worse health!

There are gains to all our losses—and some loss to all our gains.

The best thing we can do then is throw up our hands in acceptance and worship.

Failure. The beautiful thing about achieving failure is that we no longer fear it.

Failure is a re-direction. We have been whisked into a different plot.

* * *

The dreams of 20-30 years ago are not entirely “broken,” though they have morphed.

I wanted to write as beautifully as the writers I then idolised…Salman Rushdie, Vladimir Nabokov, Toni Morrison, Annie Dillard, Laurie Lee; to write with that beautiful texture, almost music. Yeah, I’d still like to.

However, that kind of writing comes out of immersion in literature, and the way life has happened…I haven’t read enough.

I took four years out of reading and writing to establish a business. At the end of that four years, I faced my broken dreams. My fingers had got stiff. My writing felt like the flightless cormorant of the Galapagos– bland, music-less, poetry-less compared to what it had been just four years ago. The instinct had gone dormant. That intricate lace-like writing which had once won me a National Endowment of the Arts award of $20,000– I couldn’t do it any more. I had lost the knack.

Broken dreams.

Once the business no longer needed my involvement for my husband is now running it, I wondered what I was going to do, how I was going to wriggle back to writing.

And I did perhaps the only thing I really know how to do… I prayed.

* * *

And, four months in limbo, I heard God suggest blogging…

That sounds like a grand way of putting it, but it’s the only accurate way!

My readers when I started were my Facebook friends…but slowly through the miracle of Google and the web and social sharing, they grew. About 10,000 people read my blogs each month, unique monthly visitors Google calls them.

And, ironically, my blogs may touch more people’s hearts, spirits and lives than the exquisite, artful writing I wanted to create. They may influence people for good on a daily basis. May help shape the way people think and perceive; help shape spirits. Blogging has been an unexpected adventure, and an unexpected gift!

* * *

I want to write beautifully, of course I do, and I will keep trying to write well until I die. Keep practising.

But what I am primarily aiming for in blogging is not a lace-maker’s artistry.

I think instead of a leaf, a kite, a raptor, catching the wings of the wind, flying high and higher as the wind lifts it.

I think of recording what God whispers to my heart.

* * *

I am trying to write–if it’s not too grand a word–“prophetically.” I try to hear what God is saying to me, and write it down. Record what I am struggling with…and the answers I have discovered. Answers which may perhaps help someone else up to the next step of the ladder.

And that’s more satisfying, healing, and enriching for my mind, heart, soul, and body than writing the beautiful literary books I wanted to.

Blogging…the open door at the end of broken dreams.

Will I ever write the books I wanted to? I believe so, though they will be different, more products of Spirit than of blood, sweat, toil and tears.

And that’s all to the good, isn’t it?

* * *
Anyway, it’s become second nature now, when I face the rubble of broken dreams, things not turning out as I had expected, to ask, “So what’s the plot, Lord? Where’s the open door in this rubble? Show me the road I am to take.”

You come to a dead end, and there is hope in the deadness. For nothing in this world truly dies; dead seeds reappear as sheaves of wheat. Every death has some resurrection in it.

This world whispers of infinity. Pi has been computed to 10 trillion digits. 10 trillion of an infinite number of digits? Is that success or failure? It’s interwoven. There’s some failure in our bright successes, and our failures have ironic gains and golden lessons.

* * *

There are no dead ends. The door which seems closed whispers of windows.

And that window swings open….and you see the stars.

Tweetables

For nothing in this world truly dies; dead seeds reappear as sheaves of wheat. From @AnitaMathias1

The best thing then that we can do is throw up our hands in acceptance and worship. From @AnitaMathias1

The beautiful thing about achieving failure is that we no longer fear it. From @AnitaMathias1

Failure is a re-direction. We have been whisked into a different plot. From @AnitaMathias1

Every death has some resurrection in it. From “At the end of broken dreams, an open door.”

Why I Believe in the Resurrection

By Anita Mathias

As I was drifting off to sleep last night, I murmured, “I believe in the resurrection.”

Roy, woken up, said, amused, “I am glad to hear it!”

* * *

I was thinking of this passage I had recently read in Diarmaid MacCulloch’s magisterial, A History of Christianity.

Christianity is, at root, a personality cult. Its central message is the story of a person, Jesus, whom Christians believe is the Christ (from a Greek word, meaning Anointed One): the God who was, is and ever shall be, yet who is at the same time a human being, set in historic time.

Christians believe that they can still meet this human being in a fashion comparable to the experience of the disciples who walked with him in Galilee, and saw him die on the cross. They are convinced that this meeting transforms lives—as has been evident in the experiences of other Christians across the centuries.

For me, that’s the ultimate proof of the resurrection—that Jesus is as real to me as anyone I know. Realer, perhaps, because I feel I know him better than most people I know.

* * *

The pastor of my old church, Williamsburg Community Chapel, Virginia, Bill Warrick, said he asked a Young Life mentee, “If you could speak to Jesus, and be answered, would you believe?” The young man replied (this was the American South), “Oh yes, Sir, that would be the ultimate extra-terrestrial experience!”

Indeed, prayer, asking Jesus how to do things–whether it’s home-managing suff, or business stuff, or writing, or blogging, or even Twitter!!—and receiving surprising and brilliant answers…yes, that’s the ultimate extra-terrestrial experience.

* * *

American Bible teacher Beth Moore was asked, “How do you know that Christ is real?” She replied, “If he wasn’t, then I must be crazy, because I talk to him all the time, and he answers.”

It’s one proof, to me, that Christ is real and alive. I feel I can ask him questions, and get an answer.

I can ask him how to do things, or what to do, and clarity comes, and, often, insight and a Gordian-knot-cutting to the heart of the problem, that comes from beyond myself, from beyond my radar, my intelligence, or the way I normally think.

Of course, if researchers track creative people who meditate, they might come across similar answers surfacing from the unconscious. Whole mathematical careers, for instance, Ramanujan’s, have been built on these heuristic insights. (Interestingly, Ramanujan claimed he received his mathematical insights in prayer and meditation).

What is more amazing, perhaps, is when prayer changes things outside yourself—other people’s hearts; external events; the acceleration of a career; how co-incidences accumulate when one prays, Berlin walls topple, glasnost occurs, in our lives and in the world.

* * *

Ultimately, I believe in the resurrection because to me Christ is so real that I can often “see” him with the eyes of faith. Because, on request, he can turn my moods around, and fill my heart with joy.

Because he answers my prayers, in the micro-level of my mind, heart and spirit, and on the macro-level by orchestrating events which I am powerless to.

* * *

John’s proof of the reality of Jesus was that he had seen him: That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it. (1 John 1).

I believe in the resurrection because I have experienced Jesus, and He has changed the deep structure of my mind, heart and spirit on a molecular level, as he changed water to wine; fed 5000 with 5 loaves; made water as solid as earth and walked on it; and resurrected the dead body of Lazarus—and then his own.