Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

  • Home
  • My Books
  • Essays
  • Contact
  • About Me

Every Prison has a Door… (and We Usually Have the Key!)  

By Anita Mathias

     From Practice to Mastery Image Credit: https://guitarsquid.com

So, not being a super-disciplined person, I’ve struggled all my adult life with a few things, surprisingly common struggles for those for whom discipline is problematic.

I carry more weight than I should. Okay, I have lost 47 pounds over the last few years as I have changed my diet but I have more to lose. I have romantic ideas of waking with the dawn, but more commonly wake at 7 a.m. I have yet to run a supremely tidy and organised house; probably, half my stuff could be safely given away.  And I have rarely been a productive writer. Keats feared that he might die before his pen had gleaned his teeming brain. Me too, me too!

It recently struck me that each of these struggles which I’ve had for most of  my married life of 30 years, is to achieve something finite. I don’t have an infinite amount of weight to lose. I could lose it in a year or less! I don’t have an infinite amount of things to declutter; I could do it in six months as Marie Kondo says, or in nine months as Joshua Becker of The Minimalist Home says. If I turn in 5 minutes earlier each day… it’s not an infinite number of days before I will be waking up at 5 a.m. And if the tidying/organising, and exercise, and early rising creates time… who knows, I might even finish the books of my heart.

* * *

In what’s perhaps a metaphor, the enslaved Israelites who escaped slavery and Pharaoh wandered in the desert for 40 years. To walk across the Sinai desert should take 10-11 days, guides say. Similarly, many of the things people struggle with for decades could be dealt with in months or a year: weight, messiness, excessive night-owlness, for instance. Two professional women recently told me that they were chronically late. I struggle with that too… but less and less so. But chronic lateness can be cured–by strategies like adding 50% to the estimated driving time (a tip from Greg McKeown’s excellent book Essentialism),  and 50% to your estimated dressing-up time, and aiming to be seated, ready and reading 15 minutes before you leave the house!

These things we struggle with are what Jesus calls the light burden and the easy yoke, difficulties, but with God’s help, not impossibilites. It is possible to be tidy, of course–easy for those who have always been tidy, and hard for those who have never been tidy, but possible for everyone. Shedding unhealthy weight is easier for those who have good eating habits and the physical strength to exercise hard; harder for those of sluggish metabolism, or who are not strong enough to exercise vigorously. But it should be possible for everyone. (I’ve lost 25 pounds over the last 13 months, though a combination of the ketogenic diet and intermittent fasting. I just stopped eating dinner over six weeks ago, and skipping it was surprisingly easy!). Waking early is perhaps possible for everyone, though I have not yet been able to sustain it long-term. And finishing books is possible to everyone God calls to write.  

At our last few holidays, Cordoba, Berlin and Krakow (all this year, 2019, yes, we are travelling too much)  especially in Krakow, Poland, when we were not eating dinner, we were astonished by how free time opened up in the evenings when Roy and I lived with just a suitcase each, in a hotel suite, and how many loose ends of our family business, our lives and work, we were able to tie up after a full day of sight-seeing. We became wistfully determined to simplify our lives at home for the same sense of spaciousness and peace and extra time.

So, at the moment, I am (perhaps foolishly!) barely writing, but focusing on getting my home tidy and decluttered (especially because I want to move in a year or two). I am focusing on diet (keto!) and fitness, believing Rick Warren statement: if you want to change anything the first thing to do is to change your body to provide the energy for other changes. The decluttering, the spiritual peace and serenity from the order, the brisk walks and yoga to get healthy, the weight loss, the waking earlier, will release more writing time within a few days or a week. I hope so. I pray so. I believe so.

But for now, baby steps.

If you can’t fly, then run; if you can’t walk run, then walk; if you can’t walk, then crawl, but by all means keep moving. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Discipline, short-term suffering is painful for the moment, but it eventually yields what Scripture winsomely calls “a harvest of righteousness and peace.”

It’s what my friend Paul Miller, who discipled me for 5 years in the late nineties, called a J-Curve. The seed has to fall into the ground and die for fruitfulness, as Jesus died to provide the Spirit, and as an atoning sacrifice for the sins of the whole world. The death of Jesus involved less than 24 hours of intense physical and emotional suffering, 3 hours of which consisted of immense, unimaginable physical suffering.  However, the fruits of the resurrection of Jesus reverberate on and on in the life of the world, in my life, and perhaps in yours, dear reader.

Jesus strikingly says that we are not worthy of him if we do not take up our cross, and embrace the suffering that a fruitful creative life calls for. In all these things I’ve mentioned, there is a cross, a small death, and much joy at the end of it. The cross I am bearing for the next six months is decluttering my house. It will lead to a resurrection of energy, and focus and time. The cross I am bearing for the next six months to a year is getting stronger and shedding the weight that hinders, which will give me the joy and resurrection of more energy and time. The cross of turning in early rather than surfing the net or desultory reading will add to the joy and productivity of early mornings. The resurrection that these things may bring will reverberate and echo, sweet and magnified, through the rest of my life, and perhaps, if God blesses my writing, though the lives of others too. May it be so Lord, Amen.

 

Some resources which I found very helpful, and you might too.

Gary Taubes: Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk

Gretchen Rubin describes reading this book as a lightning bolt moment that changed her eating habits, immediately, effortlessly and permanently. It has been a little bit like that for me.

To quote from Taubes: Carbohydrates are uniquely fattening because they elevate levels of insulin, and insulin signals to our fat cells to store fat, and to our lean cells not to burn it, which inhibits the use of fat for fuel. For a diet to successfully reduce obesity, it has to reduce insulin levels, and restrict carbs.

The Complete Guide to Fasting by Jason Fung on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk.

I found intermittent fasting far easier than I imagined, and I love the mental clarity, the physical energy—and, of course, the weight loss.

The Keto Diet: The Complete Guide by Leanne Vogel on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. More a dietary change than “a diet,” though I’ve never found losing weight as easy as on this.

Marie Kondo: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk

I have some ambivalence towards her ideas, but I can testify to the huge amount of energy in many areas of my life as I began to donate my surplus stuff

Joshua Becker: The Minimalist Home on Amazon.com

I find his blog Becoming Minimalist motivating, and here it is in a convenient form

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk

Strongly recommend. Don’t we all need essentialism?

And if you’d like a Christian perspective on these things, a book by my friend and mentor Paul Miller.

J-Curve: Dying and Rising with Jesus in Everyday Life by Paul Miller. On Amazon.com

and on Amazon.co.uk

 

Filed Under: In which I celebrate discipline, In which I decide to follow Jesus Tagged With: decluttering, Early Rising, Essentialism, Gary Taubes, Intermittent fasting, Joshua Becker, Keto, Marie Kondo, minimalism, Productivity, The Cross, the easy yoke, The J-Curve, weight loss

The Best Way to Develop Shiny New Habits

By Anita Mathias

 

Blogging almost daily for three and a half years has led to self-awareness. I have grown bored of boasting of my weaknesses.

There is a time for self-analysis, and a time for acting on that analysis, and that time came!  

And so I am in the process of developing shiny new habits. These are not yet jelled, but the trajectory is looking good.

* * *

The best way I know to form new habits is the most boring, but the most certain.

Start where you are. [Read more…]

Filed Under: In which I celebrate discipline Tagged With: decluttering, discipline, exercise, Gardening, habits, reading, waking early, writing

Common Grace: Or Why God Loves Classical Music, Zen Habits and The Happiness Project

By Anita Mathias

(Link Credit )

(Credit )

So I was tidying our bedroom today, putting my stack of CDs back into their cases and listening to Stravinsky, glorious music filling the room.

And though I had been in a bad mood, for no good reason, ungrateful girl that I am, my bad mood lifted. I unconsciously started praying in tongues. I started praying.

I put Beethoven on next, a CD with the Moonlight Sonata, Appassionata, and Pathetique, music my father had loved. It was his private refuge from the stresses of the day, sitting quietly in the living room, just listening.

And grace flooded the room. Common grace.

The love of God which is shed abroad in our hearts through the Holy Spirit he has given us (Romans 5:5).

And sometimes, through the classical music he has given us.

* * *

 In my first decade or so as a committed Christ-follower, I honestly believed the only valid solutions to my problems were to be found in Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge (Col. 2:3).

I even preferred diet books written by Christians–“Biblical diets” which, in practice, meant whatever the writer wanted to emphasise.

I felt dubious about psychotherapists who weren’t Christian, really believing that true happiness and joy were only found in Christ.   (Though, in fact, my two most helpful therapists were not Christian. In the course of our moves, I’ve had one good Christian therapist–but tried dreadful ones who were Christian!!)

* * *

 And then, I read this article on “common grace” in Christianity Today by David Neff– Why God Enjoys Baseball.

R. T. Kendall in his brilliant book The Anointing says the same thing. Because of God’s overflowing goodness, his blessing—anointing– is poured out on certain mathematicians and musicians and writers and artists and architects, whether they are believers or not. And He rather enjoys the work of their hands.

The goodness of God cannot be restrained. His sun shines and his rain falls on pagan and Christian alike. He is the true light that enlightens everyone (John 1:9). And he bestows the ability to write and paint and invent and suggest ways to increase the sum total of human happiness on Christian and non-Christian alike.

* * *

A Christian friend recommended Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. And I privately thought, “But happiness is found in God alone.”

But hey, I am a sucker for life-makeovers—being in that phase of creative upheaval called “mid-life”–and bought it.

And it is amazing how much applying Rubin’s simple tweaks increase happiness or decrease unhappiness, which is the same thing, perhaps. Increase energy by exercising, getting rid of the clutter which weighs you down, and going to bed an hour earlier. Deal with procrastination. Keep up with friends. Eliminate as much as possible from your schedule and experience free time again–all these greatly increase our happiness.

As Rubin says herself, after instituting these small changes, “Each day, I felt more joy and less guilt; I had more fun, less anxiety.  My life was pleasanter with cleaner closets, and a cleaner conscience.”

      * * *

I have recently decided that becoming more organized and efficient was really part of my Christian discipleship, and am becoming passionate about it as I make daily minuscule changes.

A practical blog I highly recommend which will probably make you happier is Leo Babuata’s Zen Habits. I have bought his ebook on the 52 tiny changes which will provide the most leverage and set up virtuous cycles in your life.

Since 2005, Babuata has lost 70 pounds, stopped smoking, gone vegan, started running marathons, started waking early, got out of considerable debt, tripled his income, written successful books and launched a leading blog, Zen Habits, all using a Zen technique called kaizen, used by Japanese companies like Toyota.

Kaizen brings about major change in tiny, incremental instalments. So if you wanted to wake at 5 a.m. instead of just doing it tomorrow, continuing a bit, then crashing (a familiar scenario) you would, tomorrow, set your alarm clock just one minute earlier, and so on, until you were waking at 5.

If you want to take up yoga or weights but are too busy, you’d do a minute of stretches on day one; two minutes on day two and so on, until your own body gets addicted, and becomes its own reminder system and alarm clock.

Babuata has simple wisdom on a way to incorporate fitness with our busy lives. Interperse it with work. Make it social. (For instance, I tweet my Runkeeper records whenever I have broken a personal record, and I tweet and facebook my Fitocracy achievements whenever I move up a level (now on level 6), and looking forward to the showing off is motivational.)

He is excellent on focus, decluttering, simplicity, and healthful living. And, as far as I tell, he’s not a Christian, though not lacking in the true light which enlightens everyone (John 1:9).

So, (though, of course this may have been perfectly obvious to you) if you are trying to lose weight, or declutter or become organized, because of the common grace you can learn just as much from Leo Babuata, or Gretchen Rubin, or Joshua Becker’s Becoming Minimalist Blog as from the Christian Michael Hyatt’s splendidly practical blog—which will also, step by step, make over aspects of your life, (though don’t expect him to talk about housekeeping or cooking any time soon!!)

Books to check out

R.T. Kendall The Anointing on Amazon.com and The Anointing on Amazon.co.uk

Gretchen Rubin The Happiness Project on Amazon.com

Filed Under: In which I am Amazed by Grace Tagged With: Becoming Minimalist, Classical Music, decluttering, Gretchen Rubin, Leo Babuata, Michael Hyatt, stravinsky, weight loss

The Church That Had Too Much

By Anita Mathias

On holiday in Ireland in 2010, I woke up from a vivid dream, which I have here written down. It’s available on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk.

The church that had too much -- 9781849026567 front cover

The Church That Had Too Much

Once upon a time,
there was a church
that Had Too Much.

Now the members of this church worked very hard
with great rectitude, and they had a good reputation
with believer and townsman alike,
and the work of their hands was blessed,

and they grew very rich.

image1

And whenever the members of the church saw each other,
they said, “Oh, we must have you over.”

And then those who heard this
smiled a tight little smile,
and said, “Yes, and we must too.”

And each went away sad,
because they knew it would probably never be.
Because the lovely couches from Liberty
with toy helicopters from Hamley’s which really flew,
and dolls which laughed and wetted themselves,
and handheld computers and Nintendo, and their living rooms
had toy cars which moved and beeped,
and toy kitchens with ovens which lit up and nearly cooked,
and intricate monster doll houses,
and if other little children came,
their children would cry if their toys were touched,
or, heaven forbid, broken.

image2

 

image3


And in the study,
the shelves overflowed
with books bought which had been read,
or had been meant to be read,
but interests had changed,
and besides, with the demands of life and maintenance,
there was simply no time to read.

And littered in the family room,
were dvds which had been watched once,
and probably never would be again:
grimly educational documentaries and silly soaps,
still shrink-wrapped; VHS cassettes, but the VCR was broken,
and few stores sold one, and old cassettes and cds
listened to once, whose sound one no longer liked.

image4

 

And scattered lay iPod Shuffles,
unused because the kids had bought iPod Touches
because everyone else had them,
and then upgraded to the sleek
iPod Nano for the video camera,
and then an iPhone 4,
and finally,  an iPad to stand-out,
be distinguished, and the envy of their form,
in a way far more easily accomplished
by kids whose parents have more than enough
than by the hard slog of swooping up all the prizes
(though with a status just as hollow–
but better a cool kid than a geek!)


  lt SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA gt

 

And in little piles lay
old mobile phones (wasn’t there was a charity
which recycled them) and old laptops, ditto,
and coins in currencies no longer legal tender,
and gold watches which merely needed a new battery.

And in the kitchen,
the counters were cluttered–
visual stress, visual stress–
because the cabinets had ice cream makers and fondue sets,
and candyfloss makers and chocolate fountains,
and the shelves were cluttered with
low fat cookbooks and French cookbooks,
and dessert cookbooks and Weight Watchers
and barbecue and vegetarian and Atkins cookbooks,
and Indian, Thai, Chinese and Italian.

 lt SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA gt

 

And then, just when you were nearly organized
Christmas came,
With sweaters and books and toys and games,
There was simply no room to store

image7

 

And if after a dozen “We must have you overs,”
you finally did,
you felt you should produce a meal worthy
of this protracted invitation,
and where did you find the energy to do that?

And guests meant stress,
stuffing stuff into closets
from which the stuffing fell out if they were opened,

And one couldn’t put them in the garage
Which was cluttered with mulchers and jigsaws
and strimmers and shredders and mowers.

And at the end, just before your guests came,
you could never find anything to wear
because clothes, outgrown, or too expensive
to just give away, or too worn and stained to give away,
but not worn and stained enough to toss
cluttered the closets so that
the elegant clothes could never be found,
and you felt that you had simply nothing to wear
and so bought some more, which were somewhere,
(but where?) And were always late while you extricated
Something which matched from your disorganized abundance.

*  *  *

 

image8

 

 *  *  *

 lt SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA gt

Mrs. Hadenough had had enough and more than enough.
Her big house with its crystal and chandeliers and cuckoo clocks;
its antique furniture, original paintings,
Pietre dure marble chests,
Murano paperweights and vases
brought her no peace,
but ruined her rest–
just brought her stress,
because it was simply too much.

And when she went to her women’s Bible study,
her friends talked about things–
things on sale, things on Freecycle,
things they had bought, or wanted to buy,
and how busy and overwhelmed they were,
sorting out their houses full of things,
trying to make time to take them to the charity shops
to make room for more things,
and about where to find nifty little organizing boxes,
clothes boxes, tool boxes and craft boxes to store
the simply too many things.

And then she read what the native Americans
of the Pacific Northwest did
when they had simply too much.

They had a potlatch,
grandly sharing their amassed possessions,
and then resumed their simple happy lives,
tidepooling on the Oregon Coast,
enjoying salmon, oysters, mussels and crab.

But how does one have a potlatch
like the North American Indians?

image10

And in the bulletin, that Sunday,
she put an announcement
about a kitchen gadget exchange.

The next Sunday, along with the tithe
each family was to bring something
they never used: cappuccino makers
and coffee grinders, in newly decaffeinated families;
yoghurt makers, omelette pans, electric spice graters,
asparagus or fish steamers to give and to take.

And when after the service, impatient queues formed,
she was sad to spot the acquisitive eyes of the hunter,
when what she wanted to learn and to teach was
that it is in giving that we receive.
she suggested that to force themselves to become givers,
people first offer each item they really wanted
to a couple of others before accepting it.

 

 lt SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA gt

 

And so, in a spirit of jollity, people offered
each other good gifts, so that everyone
who, in a moment of folly,
had bought a ravioli maker or an oyster shucker
could now give to those who always had wanted
a ravioli maker or an oyster shucker,
until they too passed it on.

And so everyone went home with something
They really wanted out of the community’s abundance.

And then it was the turn of books.
Those who had bought Money, Sex and Power,
The Freedom of Simplicity
, The Mustard Seed Conspiracy,
Or Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, but realized that
That they made being simple no easier
but being complex a guiltier undertaking
put them on the table, so that those who instinctively
began a new undertaking by reading a book
could now get them for free.

And everyone went home smiling,
as they did on DVD Sunday.

image12

And outgrown toys were shared,
so that every child had fascinating things to play with,
until they outgrew them,
and then they swapped.

And lovely expensive clothes
which no longer fitted
could be swished with other people:
cashmere sweaters in the wrong colour
or just a little too tight or too loose
and so when one’s style changed
and one began to dress up or down or bright or old,
the change could bless to someone else.

 lt SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA gt

And so each Sunday, the congregation brought
a designated item along with the tithe,
blessing each other with their surplus,
and the church rented a storehouse for what wasn’t taken.

And soon, people got rid of
A shirt saved for when they painted,
or scruffy shoes to wear if they gardened,
or the Christian book you’d read when you had time,
because you could always pick one up from the storehouse.

And people began to go to the church’s storehouse first,
instead of the stores, thereby boosting their budgets,
and eventually everyone had everything they really needed
and donated the rest to the storehouse,
decluttering until everything in their houses
was both beautiful and useful.

 

image14

”If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”William Morris

 

And once a month, the doors of the storehouse
were opened to the community.
you could bring your surplus, or take
other people’s, no strings or questions,
so that the church became known as The Giving Church

And because there was always the storehouse,
where in lean seasons, you could get the beans,
quinoa, amaranth and orzo your friends had bought
in fits of healthfulness, but never ever cooked,
or the electric saw or strimmer you needed once a year,
people no longer held onto everything
for fear they might one day need it,
or worried about their budgets quite so much
because in a pinch, you could get stationery,
clothes and food—most things you needed–from the storehouse.

And there were no poor among them.

And in the newly sleek houses,
hours of maintenance were released
and people entertained their friends,

 

image15

Consider the Lilies

And once letting go became a habit,
people discovered to their surprise
that they were valued for the content of their characters,
that people actually liked them
even when they no longer subtly showed off
about what they had or did.

And then, having happily shed so much,
they decided to shed a little more,
and Mrs Shortnplump forgave Mrs Tallnthin
who had manipulated the Bible study they co-led
out of her dreamy hands with Machiavellian  whispers,
and back-stabbing worthy of a presidential campaign.
Mrs Tallandthin had won that power struggle,
and she had lost.
And so what?
In the Upside Kingdom, schemers and manipulators
did not inherit the reward of the meek,
and those who lost the world might gain their soul,
and, in mysterious ways, inherit the world besides.
And Mrs Brown forgave Mrs Black who, working
the vicar’s wife and everyone else, swiped the leadership
Of the Friday women’s coffee group
(in formally known as sit and bitch)
from her.  And so what?
And Mr Doeverything decided that since he came home
at nine, after his children were in bed, he really
did not need to run the building programme too,
that he could shed his campaign to be Someone Very
Important in the very small world of the church
and instead spend his time with those he really loved.

And Mr. Ineverypie who was away from home for about 99 days
each year, swallowed his pride, and resigned as Chair
of the Development Committee, letting go of the fear
that no one would know who he was, if he were not always
onstage (oh, they did, they did, they surely did!) and instead
rediscovered his delight in his wife
and littlest minx, whom he adored,
when he let his eyes linger on her.

And following their lead,
those who were ambitious to strut their stuff
slowly grew willing to wait for the “Friend, Come Higher,”
trusting their PR to God,
never seeking, never refusing, a position of greater influence.

And the church was no longer a seven storey mountain,
of social ascent, and when they got together
people no longer reserved their warmest smiles
and shiniest manners for those at the top of the ant-heap,
as if one could absorb significance by association.


“He that is down needs fear no fall;
He that is low, no pride;
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.

image16

In The Valley of Humiliation, a man shall be free from the noise and from the hurryings of this life.  All states are full of noise and confusion, only the Valley of Humiliation is that empty and solitary place. Here a man shall not be so let and hindered in this contemplation as in other places he is apt to be.  This is a valley that no one walks in, but those that love a pilgrim’s life.  I must tell you that in former times men have met with angels here, have found pearls here, and have in this place found the words of life. John Bunyan, Pilgrim’s Progress


They surrendered their longing to belong to
the church’s inner circle: Those who knew who
was who, and what had happened,
was happening, and would happen,
and instead hung out with those they really liked,
and so in time formed their own inner circles,
not necessarily important ones in the eyes of the church
but just people who enjoyed being with each other.

And so everyone looked forward to social gatherings,
even fund-raisers, for they would get to relax
with those they loved being with,
Instead of seeking out those
More important than themselves
Who, in turn, looked restlessly around, scanning the crowd,
For someone still more important.

 

image17
    I believe that in all men’s lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside.  

    The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it.

   And if in your spare time you consort simply with the people you like, you will again find that you have come unawares to a real inside: that you are indeed snug and safe at the centre of something which, seen from without, would look exactly like an Inner Ring. But the difference is that it is only four or five people who like one another meeting to do things that they like. This is friendship. Aristotle placed it among the virtues. It causes perhaps half of all the happiness in the world, and no Inner Ringer can ever have it.                                           The Inner Ring by C.S. Lewis

.
And when the church decided to close the storehouse,
because fewer and fewer people visited it,
since all had all they needed and had given away
all they did not, so that everything left in their houses
was both beautiful and useful,
people did not even notice,
for they now lived in the new way
of Content.

image18

Letting go, letting go,
of everything they no longer needed,
blessing others with it,
and, in turn, being blessed
in the mysterious divine economy
no economist can fathom.

Letting go
of old grievances,
chucking people into the waterfall of grace,
letting God deal with them,
letting go of the desire to be a big deal,
accepting that they belonged to a Kingdom
which already had a King.

image19

 


Pressing on, pressing on,
to know God more,
to love God more, and
to love people more.

And they were known as Christians by their love.

 

image20

If you or a friend would like to have this as a book, it is available on Amazon.com here and on Amazon.co.uk here.

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus Tagged With: decluttering, domesticity, housework, Simplicity, the pearl of great price

In which I ponder False Starts & Dead Ends, & God says, “Come, Dance.”

By Anita Mathias

 
 I set aside a few hours one day a week to declutter.My maternal grandparents left a house full of a lifetime’s stuff which neither they, nor their three unmarried children who lived at home, had ever dealt with.And the accumulation made their house seem small and cramped and dark.

Oh, how much space it took up. Whole corridors and large sections of rooms!!

And my father died, prematurely, after a few dreadful months of sorting it out, tossing it, selling or trying to find homes for it. He didn’t even get to enjoy or use the stuff!!

* * *

Yesterday, I heard my friend, David, the son of John Bendor-Samuel, the founder of Wycliffe Bible Translators, UK, say in his Sunday sermon that his brilliant father was a hoarder and left two rooms full of papers, magazines, sermon notes, lecture notes, and journals, which David is stolidly dealing with.

I can’t stand the thought of leaving mess and papers for someone else to sort out. It’s just plain wrong. And so, I declutter once a week.

* * *

It’s a bit of a sad exercise, really. I see projects started with enthusiasm, which proved abortive. Courses I took which were a red herringish waste of time. Diaries filled with “Lunch with X and coffee with Y,” and you know what, twenty years later, I don’t remember  who on earth these people were. I look at To Do lists: “Reply to A, email B, thank C.” Who are these people? They are all out of my life.

I look at projects taken up and abandoned. I love French, but early into my French classes, I bought the complete Remembrance of Things Past in French. Oh-uh!!

How many hobbies and interests I plunged into by buying a pile of books on the subject!!

How much I tried to do with my own strength instead of relying on God!

How long it took me to focus on my writing!

* * *

And, the odd thing is, when I look at these things I poured my intensity into which were unfruitful, which failed, or disappointed me; things I wanted so badly which I did not get, or which I got, but which did not satisfy me; false starts, dead ends, I have the same overwhelming sensation.

And it is not sadness.

It is someone saying, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

I sense God’s overflowing love.

What?

Well, when does a good parent love their child most? Feel most protective? When they have aced their exams, or when they have truly blown it, and are down in the dumps? When they experience rejection, failure and sadness, or when all is sunny?

And he who is melding the shards of my life—wasted time, wasted energy, wasted intensity–into a beautiful stained glass window sees me turn over these scraps of wasted things  sadly, and says, “I will let nothing be wasted.”

And he says, “Yeah, I know. I know: you did all that in your silliness without enquiring of me. I love you anyway. I love you.”

And he says, “All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well.”

And he says, “Come, beloved. Want to dance?”

Filed Under: In which I am amazed by the love of the Father Tagged With: decluttering, failure, redemption, The love of God

Decluttering: An Easy Way to Start a Virtuous Circle in Your Life

By Anita Mathias

Vermeer, Music Lesson,

 

Until 2008, one of our greatest sources of sadness and irritation was the fact that we were rather messy and disorganised. And, as for the girls, well, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

But we have gradually changed. If you show up unannounced, or better still, with 15 minutes warning, you will find an acceptable house, not immaculate or even particularly tidy, but not disgraceful either.

* * *

 What changed? Partly getting a cleaner which motivated us to get everything in the right place for them to clean. And going through the house, tidying every room, once a week, motivated us to begin getting rid of things.

And space and order is addictive. Once you start decluttering, it becomes a habit to ask “Do I really need this? Is it beautiful? Is it useful?”

And how old were we when we finally got our acts together, and became tidy grown-ups? Mid-forties!!

Which shows it’s never too late to change.

* * *

And, interestingly, the last five years have also been a period of blessing and productivity for us, in many ways.

Messy, disorganized people will never achieve as much as they could, though they may be achieving enough!

* * *

 One of my inspirations was Marla Cilley, Flylady. Marla in her mid-forties was depressed, overweight, in debt, and surrounded by chaos, mess and clutter.

“Enough,” she said, one day. There was too much clutter and mess for her to clean it all up in a day, or a week, or a month, and, besides, she was depressed! However, she shone her sink, and resolved that she would continue shining her sink, if it killed her. Gradually, she began picking up the dishes around the sink, sticking them in the dishwasher, and order and beauty spread outwards.

She attributes her success at becoming a tidy, organised home-dweller to two things—consistency and persistence.  Anyone she says can run a tidy, organised home, if they work at it with consistency and persistence.

Her website flylady.net is full of practical ideas. She will email these to you if you would like to follow her way to domestic order and peace. She has worked out where to start to get out of chaos, and the most leveraged first steps. Her way definitely works!!

* * *

 Which of her tips have helped me?

1)  Anyone can do anything for 15 minutes at a time. So when a room gets messy, or when there are rooms I have never tidied properly, like the library or the garage, or the barn, I set a timer for 15 minutes. I never do more than 15 minutes on a room, so there is no risk of boredom setting in.

2)  She has cool suggestions for crisis cleaning–if guests are due, for example. Work on 3 separate rooms for 15 minutes each, take a 15 minute break. Repeat.

3) She also suggests focusing on hot spots—you know, where clutter gathers all by itself. We don’t have these any more, since we work on them weekly.

4) Most useful of all, perhaps is the concept of baby steps. Your house didn’t get messy in a day, and won’t get tidy in a day. Take small, but consistently maintained steps to get it all tidy again.

The confidence she gained in getting her domestic act together spilled over into a writing ministry. She next tackled her overweight body, “cluttered” she called it, and wrote a book about that too.  She got out of debt.

It’s amazing how confidence breeds confidence. For instance, I’ve noticed this syndrome in several people, and have sunk into it myself (except for the debt): sleeping in, a messy house, being overweight, and substantially in debt.

How to get out of it? The answer is: Start anywhere. Start with what bugs you most. Getting your house tidy or waking early will give you the time and confidence to lose weight. And the discipline and organizational skills and confidence you gain in one area will spill over to others.

* * *

For myself, getting our family business into profit gave me the confidence to get the house together (and helped pay for the cleaner) which gave me the peace and mental space to launch a reasonably successful blog, which gave me the confidence and drive to wake earlier, which gave me extra time, and I am now working on the weight, and have lost 16 pounds! You see, a virtuous circle!!

Anyway, have a look at Flylady.net. You will be entertained, and perhaps educated!!

 

Filed Under: Finding God in Domesticity Tagged With: decluttering, domesticity, Flylady, housework, losing weight, waking early

In which I am Determined to Declutter

By Anita Mathias

Today was my decluttering morning.

We finally broke down and decided we needed more help than a cleaner. So we have a young Polish man come a couple of times a week, to clean, and do various housekeeping chores–he assembled bookshelves today.

And so I have designated the morning he comes as my decluttering morning. Which feels SO good.

Getting rid of things, and having a sparse household is linked to one’s faith in God. I often think of a lovely story Jack Miller tells. He and his wife Rosemarie founded World Harvest Mission and were visiting Uganda. They come late to a meeting, and every seat is taken, except the ones right in front, next to President Idi Amin. Rose Marie nervously tells Jack, “I’ll sit on the grass.” Jack says, “Rose Marie, no! You are wearing a lovely dress. You are a daughter of the King. Be brave. We will sit in front.” And they go and sit next to Idi Amin, who is gracious to them.

I have said that to myself numerous times–when nervous, when beyond my depth, when dealing with rude, overbearing or condescending people, when travelling, when insecure.  “Anita, you are a daughter of the King.”

And when decluttering.

Because there are two principles at work in decluttering. As Thoreau rightly observes, the true cost of everything is “the life” which goes into earning and replacing it. If I tidy a closet by taking its entire contents to the Charity shop (a solution I’ve contemplated, believe me!) the cost of that will be the time it takes me (or more likely, my long-suffering husband, Roy) to earn the money to replace these things.

Conversely, I am a daughter of the King. I do not need to have clothes which are worn, or ill-fitting or ugly. I do not need to have things which are ugly, or chipped or broken lying around waiting to be mended. I can throw away lonely things and throw away the missing parts when they surface.

So I am consistently giving or chucking at least one thing a day, generally far more. Not selling, no time for that; besides, it is more blessed to give than sell.

And why am I decluttering? Actually, a wise person we sought spiritual advice from three years ago suggested it. “Let’s start establishing the Kingdom of God in your physical surroundings,” he said, “and other things will fall into place.” And I am doing that.

And order feels so good. For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. I have never known how to combine writing and housekeeping. Because the thought of having to do housework so depresses me that I do neither the writing nor the housekeeping,  So carving out one morning a week to just keep up with the house, and not doing much housework for the rest of the week, seems to be working. And hopefully, within the year or so, I will get it all done.

I am a bit cross with myself for having accumulated so much stuff. We spent 9 years in our last very large house in America which had a large attic and garage. So we basically stuffed things there to be dealt with later, which never came. Our bedroom was a suite, with a room-sized walk-in closet, a room sized dressing room, and an attached bath. And the house was in the modern affluent American style–a formal living room, and a family room, a formal dining area, and a family dining area. Duplication of furniture and stuff!

When we visited England and decided to stay, I did not even go to America to move us. Since the university was paying, we paid movers to pack up our house, lock, stock and barrel, and move it here. Which they did. Unread magazines, trashcans with trash in them, pantries with out of date food, garden compost bins, hoses–no kidding! It was the biggest van the UK movers had ever seen–and eight years later, I still haven’t unpacked everything

But I am determined to declutter. My maternal grandparents were pack-rats. When my aunt died, my parents inherited a house in which two bachelor brothers, a spinster sister, and their parents had a lifetime of stuff, nothing ever thrown out. The strain of sorting and donating all that literally killed my father who had been superlatively fit before those killing months.

I intend to die with a relatively spare, relatively minimalistic house so that no one else will have to waste their life sorting out what I was too lazy to!

Inside/outside, body/spirit, house/spirit, it’s really all of a piece, isn’t it?

Filed Under: Finding God in Domesticity Tagged With: decluttering, domesticity, housekeeping

Flylady, Domesticity and Housework.

By Anita Mathias

 

Our cleaning lady from Zimbabwe is singing in rich, high voice as she cleans. She is singing worship songs; I believe I have heard the melodies before.

She reminds me of Lena, our previous Brazilian cleaner who also sung as she worked. I love the sound of their singing. It has such a happy feel. Reminds me of Cinderella singing with her broom. Lovely to bring joy, happiness and music into domesticity!

 
Sadly, we are still spending 3-4 hours a week on housework. It’s partly because we are still decluttering the stuff we brought from America, when, because the University was paying, I got movers to pack up our whole house and send it on, without even going to America. (I stayed in England). And that they did–trash cans with trash in them, piles of old newspapers, boxes I had collected to donate. Oh well! A mistake probably!
I like the Flylady.net system of a little bit every day. But since I have started writing again in January, I find it too painful, depressing and boring, to break my writing to do housework. So I leave the whole thing for this one day (on which Roy and I do everything–change lightbulbs, sort laundry, fix stuff, and get rid of more and more stuff we do not actually use, or can upgrade in the interests of aesthetics.
But since I find 15 minutes on a daily basis depressing, guess what I find a whole day? 🙂
Actually, it takes me a while to get into it, a few hours, and then I find I am enjoying it, enjoying that everything is so much more decluttered than the last week.
But I am going to try to do a little bit every day. Never have found it easy. Stay tuned.

And even if I do find a dreamier dream house, I doubt I am ever going to move. Just the thought of spending years setting up house again is daunting. I am amazed by people who say they do it in weeks.

And getting a house just right is very satisfying–among our spring projects–change carpeting upstairs, frame pictures, give away framed pictures we no longer like or care for (yay!), change a fogged window in the bedroom, repaint bathroom, kitchen and upstairs landing, revamp garden.

Can we do it all in a spring?
As well as run a publishing company and write.
Well, I am not going to get involved in any of the above projects beyond choosing colours, so it may, it may be feasible!

Filed Under: Finding God in Domesticity Tagged With: decluttering, domesticity, Flylady, housework

Sign Up and Get a Free eBook!

Sign up to be emailed my blog posts (one a week) and get the ebook of "Holy Ground," my account of working with Mother Teresa.

Join 612 Other Readers

Follow me on Twitter

Follow @anitamathias1

Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

Read my blog on Facebook

My Books

Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India

Wandering Between Two Worlds - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

Wandering Between Two Worlds - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

Francesco, Artist of Florence - Amazom.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Story of Dirk Willems

The Story of Dirk Willems - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  • Change your Life by Changing your Thinking
  • Do Not Be Afraid–But Be as Wise as a Serpent
  • Our Failures are the Cracks through which God’s Light Enters
  • The Whole Earth is Full of God’s Glory
  • Mindfulness is Remembering the Presence of Christ with Us
  • “Rosaries at the Grotto” A Chapter from my newly-published memoir, “Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India.”
  • An Infallible Secret of Joy
  • Thoughts on Writing my Just-published Memoir, & the Prologue to “Rosaries, Reading, Secrets”
  • Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India. My new memoir
  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience

Categories

What I’m Reading

Country Girl
Edna O'Brien

Country Girl  - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Mere Christianity
C S Lewis

Mere Christianity --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Archive by month

INSTAGRAM

anita.mathias

From my meditation on being as wise as a serpent h From my meditation on being as wise as a serpent https://anitamathias.com/2023/03/13/do-not-be-afraid-but-be-wise-as-a-serpent/
What is the wisdom Jesus recommends?
We go out as sheep among wolves,Christ says.
And, he adds, dangerously some wolves are dressed like sheep. 
They seem respectable-busy charity volunteers, Church people.
Oh, the noblest sentiments in the noblest words,
But they drain you of money, energy, time, your lifeblood. 
How then could a sheep, the most defenceless creature on earth,
Possibly be safe, among wolves,
Particularly wolves disguised in sheep’s clothing?
A sheep among wolves can be safe 
If it keeps its eyes on its Shepherd, and listens to him.
Check in with your instincts, and pay attention to them, 
for they can be God’s Spirit within you, warning you. 
Then Jesus warns his disciples, those sheep among wolves.
Be as wise, as phronimos as a serpent. 
The koine Greek word phronimos
means shrewd, sensible, cautious, prudent.
These traits don’t come naturally to me.
But if Christ commands that we be as wise as a serpent,
His Spirit will empower us to be so.
A serpent is a carnivorous reptile, 
But animals, birds and frogs are not easily caught.
So, the snake wastes no energy in bluster or self-promotion.
It does not boast of its plans; it does not show-off.
It is a creature of singular purpose, deliberate, slow-moving
For much of its life, it rests, camouflaged,
soaking in the sun, waiting and planning.
It’s patient, almost invisible, until the time is right
And then, it acts swiftly and decisively.
The wisdom of the snake then is in waiting
For the right time. It conserves energy,
Is warmed by the sun, watches, assesses, 
and when the time is right, it moves swiftly
And very effectively. 
However, as always, Jesus balances his advice:
Be as wise as a serpent, yes, but also as blameless 
akeraios  as a dove. As pure, as guileless, as good. 
Be wise, but not only to provide for yourself and family
But, also, to fulfil your calling in the world,
The one task God has given you, and no one else
Which you alone, and no one else, can do, 
And which God will increasingly reveal to you,
as you wait and ask.
Hi Friends, Here's a meditation is on the differen Hi Friends, Here's a meditation is on the difference between fear and prudence. It looks at Jesus's advice to be as wise as a serpent, but as blameless as dove. Wise as a serpent... because we go out as sheep among wolves... and among wolves disguised in sheep's clothing.
A meditation on what the wisdom of the snake is... wisdom I wish I had learned earlier, though it's never too late.
Subscribe on Apple podcasts, or on my blog, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's widely available. Thanks
https://anitamathias.com/2023/03/13/do-not-be-afraid-but-be-wise-as-a-serpent/
Once she was a baby girl. And now, she has, today, Once she was a baby girl. And now, she has, today, been offered her first job as a junior doctor. Delighted that our daughter, Irene, will be working in Oxford for the next two Foundation years. Oxford University Hospitals include the John Radcliffe Hospital, and the Churchill Hospital, both excellent.
But first she’s leaving to work at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto for two months for her elective. 
Congratulations, Irene! And God bless you!
https:/ Images from a winter in Oxford—my belove https:/ Images from a winter in Oxford—my beloved book group, walks near Christ Church, and Iffley, and a favourite tree, down the country lane, about two minutes from my house. I love photographing it in all weathers. 
And I've written a new meditation--ah, and a deeply personal one. This one is a meditation on how our failures provide a landing spot for God's power and love to find us. They are the cracks through which the light gets in. Without our failures, we wouldn't know we needed God--and so would miss out on something much greater than success!!
It's just 6 minutes, if you'd like to listen...and as always, there's a full transcript if you'd like to read it. Thank you for the kind feedback on the meditations I've shared already.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/03/03/our-failures-are-the-cracks-through-which-gods-light-enters/
So last lot of photos from our break in Majorca. F So last lot of photos from our break in Majorca. First image in a stalagmite and stalactite cave through which an undergroun river wended—but one with no trace of Gollum.
It’s definitely spring here… and our garden is a mixture of daffodils, crocus and hellebores.
And here I’ve recorded a short 5 minute meditation on lifting our spirits and practising gratitude by noticing that the whole world is full of God’s glory. Do listen.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/02/24/the-whole-earth-is-full-of-gods-glory/
Our family was in Majorca for 9 sunny days, and he Our family was in Majorca for 9 sunny days, and here are some pictures.
Also, I have started a meditation podcast, Christian meditation with Anita Mathias. Have a listen. https://anitamathias.com/2023/02/20/mindfulness-is-remembering-the-presence-of-christ-with-us/
Feedback welcome!
If you'll forgive me for adding to the noise of th If you'll forgive me for adding to the noise of the world on Black Friday, my memoir ,Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India, is on sale on Kindle all over the world for a few days. 
Carolyn Weber (who has written "Surprised by Oxford," an amazing memoir about coming to faith in Oxford https://amzn.to/3XyIftO )  has written a lovely endorsement of my memoir:
"Joining intelligent winsomeness with an engaging style, Anita Mathias writes with keen observation, lively insight and hard earned wisdom about navigating the life of thoughtful faith in a world of cultural complexities. Her story bears witness to how God wastes nothing and redeems all. Her words sing of a spirit strong in courage, compassion and a pervasive dedication to the adventure of life. As a reader, I have been challenged and changed by her beautifully told and powerful story - so will you."
The memoir is available on sale on Amazon.co.uk at https://amzn.to/3u0Ib8o and on Amazon.com at https://amzn.to/3u0IBvu and is reduced on the other Amazon sites too.
Thank you, and please let me know if you read and enjoy it!! #memoir #indianchildhood #india
Second birthday party. Determinedly escaping! So i Second birthday party. Determinedly escaping!
So it’s a beautiful November here in Oxford, and the trees are blazing. We will soon be celebrating our 33rd wedding anniversary…and are hoping for at least 33 more!! 
And here’s a chapter from my memoir of growing up Catholic in India… rosaries at the grotto, potlucks, the Catholic Family Movement, American missionary Jesuits, Mangaloreans, Goans, and food, food food…
https://anitamathias.com/2022/11/07/rosaries-at-the-grotto-a-chapter-from-my-newly-published-memoir-rosaries-reading-steel-a-catholic-childhood-in-india/
Available on Amazon.co.uk https://amzn.to/3Apjt5r and on Amazon.com https://amzn.to/3gcVboa and wherever Amazon sells books, as well as at most online retailers.
#birthdayparty #memoir #jamshedpur #India #rosariesreadingsecrets
Friends, it’s been a while since I blogged, but Friends, it’s been a while since I blogged, but it’s time to resume, and so I have. Here’s a blog on an absolutely infallible secret of joy, https://anitamathias.com/2022/10/28/an-infallible-secret-of-joy/
Jenny Lewis, whose Gilgamesh Retold https://amzn.to/3zsYfCX is an amazing new translation of the epic, has kindly endorsed my memoir. She writes, “With Rosaries, Reading and Secrets, Anita Mathias invites us into a totally absorbing world of past and present marvels. She is a natural and gifted storyteller who weaves history and biography together in a magical mix. Erudite and literary, generously laced with poetic and literary references and Dickensian levels of observation and detail, Rosaries is alive with glowing, vivid details, bringing to life an era and culture that is unforgettable. A beautifully written, important and addictive book.”
I would, of course, be delighted if you read it. Amazon.co.uk https://amzn.to/3gThsr4 and Amazon.com https://amzn.to/3WdCBwk #joy #amwriting #amblogging #icecreamjoy
Load More… Follow on Instagram

© 2023 Dreaming Beneath the Spires · All Rights Reserved. · Cookie Policy · Privacy Policy