holy spirit | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

The Power of Christ’s Resurrection. For Us. Today

By Anita Mathias

The dawn after the worst day,

Mary Magdalene and her friend Mary had seen

Jesus, whom they deeply loved—

A radiant, beautiful, strong young man

Tortured, mocked, and judicially murdered.

But as they visit the tomb, they encounter Jesus,

Very much alive. Chairete, he says, Rejoice.

And then, the very first sentence the risen Christ,

Speaks to those who love him–Do not be afraid,

Me Phobeisthe.

Do not be afraid. Why?

Because the impossible has happened,

And a dead man has returned to life

(And was later seen by at least 516 people).

The risen Jesus is no longer confined by

The dictates of space and time.

Like oxygen, he is with me

In every room I enter, and with you,

An invisible, but real friend.

I am never alone.

Wisdom and strength is always available

If I slow down and request them.

Do not be afraid, because the resurrected Jesus

Breathed on his disciples, and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit,”

As he breathes on us today.

Jesus observed that justas even evil parents,

Do not give a snake to a child asking for fish,

Or a scorpion to a child requesting an egg,

His Father will not refuse His Holy Spirit

To those who ask for it.

And it is the power of the Holy Spirit

Which helps us change

Our hearts, our characters, and our lives.

Do not be afraid,

Because the resurrection of Jesus

That explosion of seismic power

Has burst the boundaries of what is possible.

God’s miracle-making power is now available to us

Our world is now a whole lot more magical.

The Apostle Paul writes that the surpassingly

Great power for us who believe,

The hyperballon megathos tes dunameos,

The dynamite power of God available to us on request

Is the same as the power which raised Jesus from the dead.

And so we have the Holy Spirit’s help for the issues of our lives.

Nothing God wants us to do will be impossible to us.

And so, we need no longer be enslaved by addictions,

Dependencies and our own bad habits. We can break

An addiction to chocolate or sugar or caffeine

(All of which I have eventually done!).

We can get out of the confining rooms

Of bad habits and our personal “can’t does”

Sometimes just like that,

With an act of will empowered by the Spirit.

The risen Jesus gives us the key to key to freedom.

“I once was dead, but now am alive,

And I hold the keys,” Jesus tells John

In the Book of Revelation. The keys of his Kingdom,

In which he wants us to live peacefully

As we would under his real-life kingly eye.

We can find freedom from indulging a bad temper.

And by turning our eyes on Jesus, as the old hymn says,

And an arrow prayer for his help,

We can channel our cranky, negative energy

Into prayerful intense focus on how best to live

Our one wild and precious life.

We can progressively find freedom from tormenting

Emotions or thoughts which waste our time and distract us:

Emotions of jealousy, unforgiveness, worry, anger or fretting.

God’s explosive, dynamite power can invade our lives

And progressively change them,

Through prayer, through the power of the Holy Spirit,

And, also, through our own willpower and determination.

(And God also works through counselling,

And talking to wise, trusted, friends.)

To get God’s endless energy and boundless strength

(as Eugene Peterson puts it) to saturate our little lives,

We need to slow down,

So that we remember to pray, and

Ask for God’s guidance and blessing

Over each thing we do in course of our days.

As we begin to master this habit,

Our days will look different.

Our lives will look different.

Everything in our lives gets better by practice:

Running, or writing, or good housekeeping or prayer.

So, start transforming your life by prayer.

Start small. Ask for God’s wisdom

Before you embark on the activities of your day:

Sessions of housework and decluttering,

Exercise, gardening, meeting friends, emails,

Social media, business or leading things.

God, how do I do these things well?

Can I do them better, in a more efficient

Or maybe a kinder way?

Does this even need to be said, or done?

God, who will guide us, likes nothing to be wasted,

Including our time, the most irreplaceable thing in our lives.

You’ll be amazed at the efficient and wise suggestions

The Spirit has, on how to do things

You’ve often done far, far better.

And as we increasingly experience God’s guidance and

Mini-miracles, our faith increases.

Practice praying on your walks,

As you do your housework or gardening,

As you drift off to sleep.

Practice praying deep into your life,

And over it, in ever-widening circles.

Anything in our lives that we do not

Bathe in prayer is something we believe

We don’t need God’s help to accomplish.

And that is foolish.

So I am training myself to convert

My thoughts into prayer,

To pray through the preoccupations,

Which scurry through my mind,

Writing, work, finances, health, travel plans

The things I want to see happen in my children’s lives

And, also, to pray for my friends and, sometimes, even my enemies.

We skitter like water striders on the surface of life.

But if we slowed down, the Spirit would whisper to us

The words which sustain the weary.

Oh, what grace we often forfeit,

Oh, what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry,

Everything to God in prayer.

Prayer is like pouring this immense flood of light and power

Into the little petri dish of our problems.

When we do it, God’s power can change our circumstances

Sooner than we ever imagined.

As we practice bathing our lives in prayer,

We ourselves change,

Our lives slowly change,

And our faith increases.

Oh God of resurrection,

Come with your dynamite power into our lives.

We put our old dreams and our new ones into your hands.

Bring them to life. Make them glow.

Come like a mighty burst of spring into our lives

Bringing apparently dead relationships, dreams,

The things we once loved,

And all our dormant potential to radiant life.

We put our lives into your hands.

Make them beautiful.

Come Lord Jesus.

Amen.

This is a meditation on Matthew 28.

I would love you to read my memoir, fruit of much “blood, sweat, toil and tears.”

Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India in the UK, and in the US, here, well, and widely available, online, worldwide 🙂

If you’d like to follow these meditations the moment they appear, please subscribe to Christian Meditation with Anita Mathias at Apple Podcasts, Spotify or

Amazon Music

or Audible

If you’d like to read my previous recorded meditations,

7 The Power of Christ’s Resurrection. For Us. Today

6 Each Individual’s Unique and Transforming Call and Vocation

5 Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts

4 Do not be Afraid–But be as Wise as a Serpent

3 Our Failures are the Cracks Through Which God’s Power Enters our Lives

2 The World is full of the Glory of God

1 Mindfulness is Remembering the Presence of Christ with us.

Thank you 🙂

Peaceful at Pentecost

By Anita Mathias

The Thames near Sandford-on-Thames, Oxford

Pentecost–the coming of the Spirit to a frightened and fearful huddle. It is one of my favourite Christian feasts, so hopeful… The Spirit comes not because we are worthy, often not even because we have asked him to, but because he is good, and kind, and desires to bless. He comes in his own way, on demand, to the humble repentant heart, Jesus says, and in the way He chooses, like water which softens hearts, like wind which cleanses them, like a dove which warms them, like fire which sets them ablaze.

I am in an in-between season. Zoe my eldest is wrapping up her Oxford University degree in theology (prayers welcomed for her Final exams); she then has a church internship at St. James Church, Hoxton, London, part of the Stepney internship scheme. Irene is taking her last school exams ever, and, contingent on results, hopes to enter a six year course in Medicine at Christ Church College, Oxford.

I am working on a long book, the idea of which came to me decades ago!! I cannot say God told me to write it, but I can say that God called me to write, and this is the book which I feel led or impelled to write, for reasons God alone knows, and which I am slowly understanding. I am working steadily, revising 3000 words a day, while knowing that many may not make it into the final draft.

I am taking an eight week Mindfulness course at Oxford University. I am half-way through it, but the shift has been seismic, in my mental state, in my serenity, in my sleep, in my productivity. As I guess a sculptor would feel foolish or superstitious about describing his sculpture midway, so I will not quantify or describe it just yet, but whoa, am I glad I am taking it!

It’s a beautiful spring, warm golden weather, and once or twice a week, I go on a long walk, increasing my mileage by 10% a week, as the gurus recommend. (Don’t be too impressed; I’m at 13 miles a week, in my 5^th week of increases.) Chris McDougall who wrote the great running book Born to Run (and has converted me, amid much ouchiness to forefoot running) says something like, “If you have a problem that a four hour run can’t solve, then you ain’t going to solve it.”

Four hour runs I doubt I will ever do; I am a great believer in the minimum effective dose, just enough for health, but I have swapped out listening to audiobooks on my walks for prayer and problem-solving. That’s something else I’ve learned from my mindfulness course, listening to the wisdom of the body, and what its tense places are telling me; quietening down with deep, slow breathing, until the wisdom of the spirit emerges, the wisdom of the Spirit within me, the spirit who is breath, ruach, who Jesus transmitted to the disciples when he breathed on them.

On a Double Portion of the Anointing, and a Secret History with the Lord

By Anita Mathias

When Elijah was about to be taken up to heaven, he asks his acolyte Elisha, “What can I do for you?”

And Elisha, with simple and ambitious faith, asks “Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit,” (2 Kings 2:9).

And so he does.

For the asking, so to say. For the asking took faith, which pleases God.

* * *

This story has sanctified ambition in charismatic circles. People ask successful Christian leaders, Heidi Baker, say, or John Arnott, to pray that they receive a double portion of their anointing (not realising that Elisha’s anointing was received in the context of discipleship: living with, watching, imitating). My daughter, Zoe, recently gave me Consumed by Love, by Oxfordshire native, Duncan Smith who describes how he desperately coveted “a double portion” of the anointing of Reinhard Bonnke (who generously prayed that he would receive it!).

* * *

What is the anointing? R. T. Kendall describes it, “the anointing is when our gift functions easily. It comes with ease. It seems natural. No working it up is needed. If one has to work it up, one has probably gone outside one’s anointing.

I experience the anointing when blog posts flow easily, and are written quickly almost as if dictated. When I open up a chapter of scripture, and “see” enough in it for three blog posts, and assume that everyone else sees the same riches, but then realise as I lead a Bible study on the topic, that this is not the case.

* * *

And this prayer to receive a double portion of other people’s anointing….?

If the prayer is frivolous, born out of a desire to be more famous, or receive more attention and adulation, God might not answer it—perhaps to protect his sheep from someone with such seriously flawed motives for wanting a platform.

But if you ask for a double portion of a mentor’s anointing with the innocent-heartedness of the child who wants to be famous, or you want fame so as to be a blessing, or as a means to doing your work in the world—well…

Jesus was playful, and encourages a playful spirit in the Christian life. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. John 14.14 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. John 14:13.

So perhaps it is not ridiculous to ask for a double portion of the spirit of Christian writers and bloggers I admire.

* * *

Bill Johnson is one of my favourite living Christian speaker and writer. He is sensible, reasonable, left-brained–and filled with faith. He opens my eyes to the realities of the spiritual realm, and the power of prayer and makes me excited about them. We just have to read the Gospels–and Jesus’s reiterated statement that all things are possible for them who believe–to realise that, because of our unbelief, we can remain children, spiritually, playing in the sand, while the mighty ocean roars around us

When I read Bill’s many books or hear him speak, I yearn for more of God. I yearn to know God as he does. I yearn for the spiritual experience he has had.

Apparently, I am not alone in being impressed.

I heard Bill say that people frequently come up to him and ask him to pray that they receive “a double portion of his anointing.”

Which seems an awfully cheeky thing to ask someone to pray for—essentially, “Please pray that I become twice as famous and successful as you are!!”

And Bill laughs and says, “Yes, God might give you a double portion of my anointing, but what you can never have is my secret history with the Lord.”

Ah, a secret history with the Lord of Hosts, the most democratic of gifts, open to everyone, and more important than any anointing, for without it, we would not be able to bear the weight of the gifts God gives us!

My secret history with God—it sweetens my life, it fills it with hope, it offers me guidance, it gives me strength to endure: both reverses, and perhaps even an anointing!!

Anointing, which makes our work quick and easy, is a gift that’s fine to pray for! But great “anointings” are given to the few. A secret history with the Lord, however, is open to each of us, and that is a gift we have the responsibility (which will eventually become a joy) to cultivate.

Dreaming with God on Amazon.com

Dreaming with God: Secrets to Redesigning Your World Through God’s Creative Flow on Amazon.co.uk

Comfort Eating, Emotional Eating, Compulsive Eating: Goodbye to All That

By Anita Mathias

Continued from In which I seek healing, and the healer says, Rise, take up your pallet, and walk.

So for ten days now, I have not had sugar or white flour (deciding to cut just these two things from my diet for starters) and have not eaten when I have not been hungry.

And I have been surprised by the strength of my desire for sweet things (for the first 4 days) or to eat when I have not been physically hungry (still struggling). Wow!

* * *

To break an addiction, we have to say NO and we have to say YESES we did not say before. Subtraction alone won’t work for long. AND what we say YES to has to be as powerful and pleasant as what we say no to. [Read more…]

At the Cwmbran Outpouring, I am Healed as the Healer says, “Rise, Take up your Pallet & Walk” (Part 1 of 2)

By Anita Mathias

Oddly enough, given that I am middle-aged, this is a period of steady change as I invite Jesus to turn his laser-sharp eyes on area after area of my life (ouch!). Orderly housekeeping which used to be an issue bit of a disaster has been resolved (because Roy is now a part-time house-husband, in an inspired role-reversal.) I write regularly. I no longer stay up till the very early hours of the morning and then sleep in! My coffee addiction has been broken. I have gained control of my fiery temper, and am (IMO) becoming almost phlegmatic!

But weight, which has been an issue all my adult life—well, I’ve only lost 10 pounds over the last 7 months. And could lose another 90 pounds, no kidding! [Read more…]

“One Way to Find God” : A Guest Post by Penelope Swithinbank

By Anita Mathias

I am honoured to host this guest post from Penelope Swithinbank. I will be joining her on her pilgrimage along the Via Francigena in Tuscany in September. Might you come too?

ONE WAY TO FIND GOD BY PENELOPE SWITHINBANK

Complete wholeness – of stillness and silence.

As in the absence of interruption or invasion by iphones or imaginations. We stand, gazing at the beauty spread before us, hardly daring to breathe.

This is what we came for, this is what we saved for and trained for. This is the vacation with a difference for which we had dreamed and yearned.

A Pilgrimage.

A long walk with a difference because it is a long walk with God. Intentionally wanting to find Him.

And find Him we did – in the glories of creation, in one another, in our uplifted hearts.

And we found the gift of TIME.

Time to be, time to be with God.

Isn’t that what so many of us crave? Time out, we call it.

Time to do something different, BE something different, in some place different.

Pilgrimage has been part of the Christian tradition for centuries. It’s not always been a part of mine, until some 10 years ago, when I was asked to lead one. I discovered that the daily walking, the lack of distraction, the determination to keep going, opens up opportunities for the still small Voice in ways I could not have found elsewhere. I’ve led many since then, and each one has had its ups and downs, literally and metaphorically. Each one has been special. Sometimes the sun has shone, sometimes it has almost snowed.

On one occasion, we plodded along, one foot then another, one foot and then another. It was hailing, cold wet hard hailing. “All hail King Jesus …” someone began to sing. There were giggles and groans. One foot in front of the next foot. Onwards and upwards. We had walked a mere 17 miles the previous day. 83 more to go to reach our destination. One foot then another. The hail turned to sleety rain and tried to invade the scarf wound around my neck. It was June, it was England, it was Pilgrimage at its worst. And maybe at its best too, for we spurred one another on, sang to God in spite of the cold, and appreciated even more the day when the sun finally emerged.

A mere 100 miles, each of the weeks of Pilgrimage in England, walking the ancient pilgrim paths and sheep-herding byways, from Chipping Campden to Bath Abbey. Some 60 miles in Tuscany, along the Via Francigena, from San Gimignano to Montalcino. (Those names, they roll romantically round the tongue, inviting and enticing!)

Sometimes in silence, sometimes in prayer; sometimes singing, often laughing; taking time out from daily lived busy-ness, purposely spending time waiting to hear God speak into the rhythm of walking.

Nothing else to do – suitcases moved by unseen angels, meals awaiting us at the next destination along the way. An evening time of devotions – a short thought; some worship; prayers. Maybe Compline. Sharing our journeys, helping each other along.

Pilgrimage is a time of challenge – physically and spiritually.

It is a leaving behind – of daily routine, of family and friends, of expectations.

It is a purpose filled week of deliberately stepping aside and stepping out, in faith, to find God in ways never previously experienced.

It can be a difficult time. No good to pretend it’s easy, however much one has tried to get fit, practice, walk the extra mile.

It’s not the usual walking.

And yet, into this challenge, this sacrifice of normality and time and effort, God speaks. Whether it’s the chill of an English summer or the heat of an Italian one, there is something unusual, something special, something incredible, about this intentionality. So often we don’t know God, don’t hear His voice, because we don’t take the time to stop – really stop, or step out of our comfort zone and wait.

Wait for Him to speak into our hearts.

The Pilgrims are always amazing people. On each Pilgrimage I’ve led there have been people in pain – pain from living, pain from past wounding, pain in this journey. But they keep walking.

1-p8

And each time, God has stepped into people’s lives – sometimes right then and there, sometimes later when reflecting. But God always speaks – if we take time and trust Him to do so.

“It truly was a life changing experience for me; and I met with God in a way I’d never done before.”

2-p9 The Via Frangicena is another ancient Pilgrim route – from Canterbury to Rome. I Pelligrini (the pilgrims) walked it as an act of devotion to God, as an act of contrition. They carried little other than the walking stick, the hat, the cloak and the backpack.

Sometimes they ‘walked’ on their knees. They had no idea when they set out as to whether they would ever return, after such a long and dangerous journey. But their contrition and devotion drove them out and on, dependent totally on God, their fellow pilgrims and the people they met along the way.

When we first walked a part of it (Tuscany in July) the sun beat down mercilessly, our skins scorched and our tongues stuck with thirst. Yet we gave up relatively little compared to I Pelligrini of old.

And what of us? You and me?

How far would you be prepared to walk in order to empty your life of its everyday busy-ness, its tests and trials, its screaming loud insistence?

What do we need to sacrifice in order to hear that still small Voice?

This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jer. 6:16

How much do you yearn for the rest, the silence, the stillness, in which to hear God?

What might you do in order to take time to hear that still small voice?

The Revd Penelope Swithinbank is an international speaker and leader for Christian conferences, Pilgrimages, Retreats, Quiet Days and women’s events. She loves hiking, reading and travelling. Author of ‘Women By Design,’ she is a Spiritual Director, blogger, wife, mother and grandmother, and is currently renovating an old Cotswold farmhouse to be a place of spiritual sanctuary for those who need time away, especially those in Christian leadership.

Website/Blog/next ITALY Pilgrimage details: www.ministriesbydesign.org

The Spirit of the Lord Hovering over the World

By Anita Mathias

Image Credit

Life is not a race. And reading the Bible is not a race. It is more important that we are transformed by it than that we read it in a year. Or blog through it in a year.

So while this year, I have, again, kept up with “listening to the Bible in a year” on my iPod as I walk, I have failed in my hope of systemically blogging through the Bible in 2013. I am returning to it, blogging slowly but surely: a tortoise who will, definitely, plod to the finish line—though it will take more than a year

Genesis

Gen 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

A simple majestic statement I totally believe.

Did he do so in six days or six aeons? Well, poets and geologists and astronomers each have their language, their own way of telling truth. The scientists tell us the facts as they know them; writers use metaphors.

I believe both the geologists, the astronomers and the author of Genesis. I believe that the heavens and the earth were created step by step over time (by God). And that he found great delight in doing so.

Gen 1:2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

The yearning we have for order and beauty, the yearning we have to make comes from God in whose image we are formed.

The earth all formless and empty, with darkness over the surface of the deep—it sounds like a writer’s mind, doesn’t it, just before beginning to write?

Gen 1:2 And the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

And so everything will be well, everything will always be well because we are under the protection of the Spirit who hovers over us

Spirit of God, hover over me.

Flow through me, irradiate me,

Fill me with your words and ideas.

Make me wholly yours.

We Need Scripture to Help us Make Decisions. But we need the Spirit too. We need Jesus

By Anita Mathias

jacob-jordaens-christ-disputing-with-the-pharisees_2

Christ Disputing with the pharisees (Jacob Jordaens)

Beyond the sacred page I seek Thee, Lord;

My spirit pants for Thee, O living Word!

Mary Lathbury, 1877

³⁹You study^[^c^]the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, ⁴⁰yet you refuse to come to me to have life, (John 5:39) Jesus says to the Pharisees.

Sad and scary words? All that diligent study of Scripture, and yet they did not recognise Jesus as the Christ.

* * *

I have been ScriptureGirl for most of my Christian life.

But I no longer play Scripture roulette. You know: Don’t know what to do—treasure-hunt a Scripture verse to guide you. Find one with relief. Rely on the letter more than the spirit.

As a younger Christian, when stumped in decision-making, I searched for Scripture verses. For instance, we were about to buy our second house in a private sale from our landlord, and pay cash, as we had for our first. The seller was difficult and each time we were closer to exchanging contracts came up with a fresh contractual change. I got so stressed that I refused to sign the day before the sale was to go through. (Now, who was I calling difficult?)

Why? This scripture verse kept running through my head. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peaceful, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere (James 3:17). There was no peace throughout the process, just stress, contention and suspicion. We got a house that cost twice the amount, in a posher neighbourhood, and got a mortgage, of course.

It probably worked out okay, but today, I would seek the face of Jesus, and to hear his voice, and not rely on a single verse of Scripture in spiritual decision making.

***

Other examples: sometimes, Roy might make what I consider a foolish decision. I might demur a bit, but sometimes run out of energy, and say to myself, “Wives, submit to your husbands (Eph. 5:22).” Ah, I can take the path of least resistance, and have a scripture verse to cover my back.

And sometimes, his decisions work out well, and sometimes they most certainly do not.

Today, I wouldn’t rest on a single verse as a cop-out. I would seek Jesus’ face instead and his guidance on whether I should gently pursue the bone of contention, or drop it.

***

I seek the Scriptures for wisdom and guidance, of course, but they are a single element in my decision making, along with seeking to hear the Spirit, and seek the face of Christ.

We do not worship the Bible; we worship Christ. We need the Spirit to help us interpret the word. We need the Living Christ to guide us.

Okay, another example. For the last seven weeks, I have worked hard, Monday to Saturday. I have written my memoir, about 800 words a day, publishing it on my blog, and I have written and published a blog post, about 800-1200 words. I have been running, up to 7000 steps a day. I have been reading. I have been disciplined. And by Sunday, I am shattered.

Sunday dawns, bright and clear. The sun shines. God is in his heaven, and all is lovely in his world. Do I obey the Biblical directive to rest? Sleep in, have a long nap. And heaven knows, my body needs it. Should I worship God today in the cathedral of the bird-loud open fields as I walk and pray instead of in a stained-glass-shady church?

Or do I obey the Scriptural directive to “forsake not assembling together,” and drag my groggy self—sluggish mind, sluggish body– to church, when I know I would be more energized by a run, and a nap, and praying in solitude.

If I were playing Scripture roulette, running my life by the written word, I would say, “Forsake not assembling together,” and drag my tired self to church, sometimes get bored and restless and irritated, and sometimes, be blessed by the music, and the atmosphere, and the quiet presence of a few hundred people worshipping God.

But, ah middle age, wonderfully liberating time of life! I seek a person: Jesus, more than random scripture verses. “So, what should be my game plan for today, Jesus? Should I be restored by going to church, worshipping in community, and be possibly inspired, and possibly bored by the sermon? Or should I nap, garden, pray, run, watch a movie, read, relax at home, minister to myself through prayer and scripture and worship music, and reach Monday bouncing?”

I do worship best in community. But of late, I have sensed Jesus giving me this wonderful, cherished permission slip to really rest. (Though I sense this is a very short-term permission slip!!)

So that’s how I increasingly make decisions. No more picking out Proverbs and verses. Instead, I sit quiet before Jesus, try to “see” him, try to hear his voice, and sense which way the wind of spirit is blowing.

* * *

Will this lead to what some evangelicals fear as the great folly of “the Jesus I know?” You know, where you suspect that Jesus would be full of mercy and compassion towards all those called to ministry, both men and women, gay and straight, because Jesus in the flesh was full of mercy and compassion towards everyone, except those who were judgemental and self-righteous.

“The Jesus I know.” Does it make sense? Why, yes, of course. That’s the only Jesus we can know—through a mixture of study of scripture in which he is revealed; and through the Holy Spirit who continued to reveal Him (“He will teach you all things, and make known to you everything I have commanded you,” John 14:26) and through prayer, talking and listening to the Living Christ, who makes his home within us (John 14:23). How foolish it would be to accept the Jesus someone else knows, rather than the Jesus we ourselves know.

No two people had the same relationship with Christ. He berated the Pharisees for their pride and obsession with reputation, but offered understanding and acceptance to the shamed woman at the well, or the woman caught in adultery or “the woman who had led a sinful life.” Naturally each of these knew a different Jesus.

How foolish it would have tell the demoniac whom Jesus instructed “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you,” Mark 5: 19 to obey Jesus’s directive to the rich young ruler, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Jesus said different things to each of them.

* * *

The church has always had dominant, vocal groups who soapbox about the Jesus they know, and the theology they have concocted, and bully, shame and silence the rest with their proof texts to accept their Jesus. A Jesus who thinks exactly as they do on all the hot button issues of the day, and is, for instance, complementarian, not egalitarian; who is anti-women -bishops and anti-gay marriage, but pro-life, pro-guns and pro-death penalty.

It is neither intellectually, spiritually nor psychologically safe to accept the Jesus someone else knows. We just have to do the difficult, time-consuming work of searching the Scriptures for ourselves, praying, and seeking Jesus.

Will we get things wrong in this process? Yes, probably. Possibly inevitably.

Will Jesus hold these things against us? No.

Stupidity is not a sin. Laziness and spiritual indifference which seeks acceptance by the dominant group by accepting other people’s theologies without searching the Scriptures or seeking Jesus and his Spirit for ourselves—these, on the other hand, would not impress Christ.

* * *

How scary it would have been to accept the Scriptural readings of the experts, the learned scribes and Pharisees who had spent their lives studying the Scriptures–and, as a result, totally not recognize the real incarnated Jesus.

We can risk that if we accept the dominant theology or theological-political discourse whether it is about hell or homosexuals, abortion or women when it lacks the mercy and compassion, the fresh grace, fresh fire, and fresh astonishment which characterized Jesus.

Return to the Scriptures, search them for yourself, ask Jesus to reveal himself to you, convict you, jail-break you, turn you upside down, fill you with the joy He came to give you, and which so often goes missing in action when we accept other people’s strait-jacketed, straight-faced, straight-laced Jesus.

Oh, but I want the real one–the wild-eyed, astonishing, scary, uncompromising, flexible, brilliant man who walks through the Gospels, and steps off their pages into my life.

Oh, just give me Jesus.

anita.mathias