Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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On Quitting Things…and Breaking Free

By Anita Mathias

I’ve read that Indians catch monkeys by placing a peanut (called “monkey nut” in India) in a bottle. The monkey plunges its slender paw into the bottle, grasps the peanut, tries to withdraw its clenched paw clasping the nut, but cannot. He thrashes around; the noise alerts the homeowner, who captures him, as a pet, as a performing monkey, or simply kills him to stop relentless thefts from fruit trees. The thing is: all the monkey has to do to be free is to let go of the peanut. If he could do that, he could have the whole world…but not the peanut. It’s as easy…and momentarily difficult…as that.

It’s a metaphor for how letting go of the things that consume too much of our time, energy, emotion, and attention, that have us thrashing around like a flustered, bewildered, infuriated monkey…is easier than we think, though, of course, costly.

I’ve been on a journey over the last few months of quitting habits I have had for years. For instance, I had 2 tablets of Nightol (an herbal concoction) to sleep for about ten years. Then I read that while it helps you drift off more rapidly, it affects the REM sleep in which the dreaming necessary for mental, emotional and spiritual health occurs, and in which memory consolidation and creative problem-solving occurs. In which emotions are processed, often resolved, and catharsis occurs. The REM sleep vital to mental health. So I decided to cut all sleeping aids cold turkey. It was hard for a few days, but now I use a meditation and deep breathing tape to help me drift off, and it works just as well, in fact better, and,  my sleep is indeed deeper and more refreshing, as I had hoped.

Similarly, I had used the herb St. John’s Wort, maximum dose, as a mood uplifter for the same ten years. On learning that it affected the depth of sleep, as well as precious REM sleep, I went off it on the first day of holiday in Dubrovnik this Easter, when the sights and stimulation and adventure were enough to distract me from needing the herbal “high.” I missed it for a week or two, but that’s it.

I used to be addicted to chocolate, then cut it down to a bar a week, then to a little Green and Blacks bar a day, 85 calories, which could become two bars. But then, since my present goal is 1200 calories a day, mainly from vegetables, that little bar didn’t bring the most blessing to my body, and kept me dependent on the crutch of sugar, and chocolate, and calories to boost my brain chemistry and mood. So, with the encouragement of a health coach, I cut chocolate, just like that, and used a meditation app when I craved chocolate, and now after several weeks, by the grace of God, I no longer crave it.

Quitting chocolate was followed by quitting sugar. Keeping food charts revealed all the little treats of cookies, cheese cake, ice cream, biscuits, desserts, cake, dried fruit I had been consuming in a course of a week, so I resolved to quit buying them and two months later I hardly ever crave them. (I do have them on social occasions, but just a little because they now adversely affect my emotions and brain), Again, I tried movement, a run, or tidying my room, or guided meditation and deep breathing to snap my brain out of the restlessness of craving sweet things.

The biggest shift, which changed the whole way I eat, was cutting out carbs. Bread, rice, potatoes, noodles, pasta–sayonara. All gone. Bye-bye crisps, and crackers on cheese, and sandwiches, and garlic bread and baked potatoes. This is not necessary for everyone, of course, but the extra weight I was carrying led to sciatica (now 95% gone). Cutting carbs necessarily led to having to eat in a new way… a little fish or meat at each meal, nuts at some, and lots of vegetables and fruit. Basically, Atkins or Keto. It’s time-consuming for us… finding new recipes, and counting those darn calories, but I have lost 19 pounds over the last months, simply by cutting the things that were not a blessing to my body. (I have more to lose, by the way, but am 42 pounds down from where I was six years ago).

The hardest, the hardest thing to cut was caffeine. Dr Fuhrman, who wrote the best book on diet I know Eat to Live, says “More than a cup of coffee can interfere with your health, and your weight loss goals,” and Lisa, my health coach strongly recommended it. I was rarely without a cup of tea near my reading chair and had several cups of cappuccino or coffee a day… how many exactly became clear when I started keeping food charts. It’s almost two months since I reduced that to two cups a day, occasionally lapsing into three, and I am still struggling with that, though less than I used to. But I can still concentrate and read and write, though more slowly and less pleasurably than when caffeine made concentration razor-sharp. But without the caffeine-aided focus and speed, the artificial mountain top, there is less of a descent into the valley of sleepiness, grogginess and lost focus, which leads one craving another cup, and another. The caffeine-induced vicious circle. It is taking me a while to get used to two or three cups of either coffee or tea rather than chain-drinking tea, but God-willing, I will ultimately become a happy peppermint-tea fuelled girl.

Sometimes we define ourselves by things we do… I need carbs, I am addicted to chocolate, I have a sweet tooth, I need… I am… but if these self-definitions, these evil stories, these vicious narratives do not serve us, we must change them. It takes time and effort to write a new story on paper as in life, but we can always begin. It’s murder for a week or so when it comes to sugar or chocolate or carbs, longer when it comes to caffeine, but then we are out of the cave of powerlessness and helplessness, and into the light.

The creative Bob Goff quits something every Thursday. He quit Bible studies, concluding that he had enough knowledge already to follow Christ, and he now actually needed to DO something, and instead has a Bible Doing with a couple of friends, discussing how they can practice what they just learnt. He quit all Boards of which he was a member of… and so on. Quitting dead-weight things is a good habit. This is what I’ve quit over the last few month… herbal sleeping pills, herbal mood uplifts, caffeine, chocolate, sugary treats, bread, noodles, pasta, pizza, rice, potatoes, crisps.

I am still quitting one thing a week. For instance, I am limiting my internet use with the help of the web-blockers, Cold Turkey and Freedom, cutting either the entire web for four hours at a time, or  just the social media and news. I am also decluttering a little.  This has begun to release time for more life-giving things, reading, writing, learning German, gardening, yoga, and a bit of running. Like Bob Goff, I plan to quit one thing, big or small, each week, and as time shows up, add new practices and habits, big or small, that are nourishing and life-giving. Wish me luck!!

P.S. Of course  there has been an element of the chairos time, and the grace of God involved. If breaking free from bad habits were as easy as just stopping it, I would have done so long ago; we all would have. And perhaps, it is. (Though watch this)

But there is also, as the Bible says, an enemy of our souls, and dark forces who adore sin and bondage. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying.” Ephesians 6 10-18

There is hope for the battle in Jesus, who takes our hands as we walk on the waters of what we once considered impossible. All things are possible if we hold the hand of Jesus, and for just thirty seconds take one step in the right direction. And then, take a deep breath, and still holding onto to the hand of Jesus, take another thirty-second step into the light, towards Jesus, and health, and wholeness, and happiness.

Love, Anita

A couple of favourite and related books I’d like to recommend

Matthew Walker’s brilliant book on better sleep: Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk

Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk  

(affiliate links 🙂

Filed Under: Habits, Habits Tagged With: Bob Goff, breaking free, coffee, diet, freedom, habits, meditation, quitting things, waking early

On How Elephants Can Escape Their Chains, and We Can Too

By Anita Mathias

raja the elephant

Elephants, majestic, loveable, gentle beasts, are tamed by cruel means I hate reading about in Thailand, principally, in Nepal, in India and in Malaysia.

A common trick, less cruel than the others though, is this. The elephant is initially chained to a tree with heavy chains. Later, however, the mahouts don’t bother to attach the chain to the tree. The elephant, however, stands motionless or paces for long hours believing himself to be chained. However, all it takes for him to be free is to gallop away; he can trample those who cruelly abused him and crushed his spirit while he was chained.

That’s us sometimes, chained when we can so easily be free.

* * *

The biggest chain which binds people to ugliness they do not wish to be bound to?

It is when we cannot forgive, and so people who do not deserve that honour inhabit our hearts and emotions.

* * *

One way to tell what a blogger, or preacher, struggles with is to scroll through a few years of her posts or sermons. We write our obsessions. We teach best what we need to learn the most.

Forgiveness, very sadly, does not come easily to me.

* * *

How do we cut the chains that bind us? How do we forgive?

We need the grace of God. Forgiveness is as hard to accomplish by an act of will as breaking a drug, alcohol or nicotine addiction by an act of will (though all of these are possible).

Forgiveness is terribly hard, and when you have done so, you have the same relief as when you have tidied a cluttered room.

You sleep so soundly. You sleep so deeply. You sleep so well.

* * *

This is the best way I know of cutting the chains which bind you to those who have injured you. You say, “Yes, you have sinned against me; you have deceived me; you have lied about me… whatever, whatever. But I will not hold it against you. I will even pray that God blesses all the goodness in you and uses it for his Kingdom. My raw emotions sometimes feel that you deserve to be cursed not blessed, but I do not want the toxins of such sentiments in my mouth or heart. So I bless you in the name of Jesus. Go and be blessed.”

Phew. And in those simple words, the act of blessing, you are free.

* * *

And tomorrow, your tiny un-elephant brain may forget the beautiful resolutions of today, the glorious transaction of today, and get all bitter again.

Don’t be surprised, dear reader. It’s par for the course. It’s called being human.

So, dear one, do it all over again. Cut the chain of grievance once again. Pray blessing on those who have injured you once again. It does not seem that they deserve it, but you, oh child of God, deserve peace, oh yes, you do.

Do it for Jesus. Do it for you.

Amen!

Filed Under: In which I forgive Aught against Any (Sigh) Tagged With: elephants, forgiveness, freedom

Comfort Eating, Emotional Eating, Compulsive Eating: Goodbye to All That

By Anita Mathias

blue morpho butterfly

Continued from In which I seek healing, and the healer says, Rise, take up your pallet, and walk.

So for ten days now, I have not had sugar or white flour (deciding to cut just these two things from my diet for starters) and have not eaten when I have not been hungry.

And I have been surprised by the strength of my desire for sweet things (for the first 4 days) or to eat when I have not been physically hungry (still struggling). Wow!

* * *

To break an addiction, we have to say NO and we have to say YESES we did not say before. Subtraction alone won’t work for long. AND what we say YES to has to be as powerful and pleasant as what we say no to. [Read more…]

Filed Under: In which I Pursue Personal Transformation or Sanctification Tagged With: emotional eating, freedom, healing, holy spirit

Set Free from Food Addiction Through Intimacy with God (A Guest Post by Lynda Alsford)

By Anita Mathias

Being known gull  2Freedom

I used to be a food addict. I love saying that sentence, so please indulge me as I say it again. I used to be a food addict…until Jesus set me free in March 2012.

My journey to freedom has taken many years and in that time I’ve learned many things. One that stands out to me is that in order to appreciate freedom fully, you first have to understand the preceding captivity. In my experience, the greater the darkness the brighter the light seems when it comes.

Part of my personal darkness was that I didn’t know how to deal with difficult emotions. I would do anything rather than feel them. I ate them away, piling on huge amounts of weight. Once I started eating I could not stop. Food was an anaesthetic and its anaesthetising powers had me imprisoned. It is near impossible to describe to someone who has never had an addiction what it actually feels like to be in the grip of one. The poem below is my attempt to put into words how I felt as I struggled with something that was beyond my control.

Captivity

Unbidden thoughts arise, so sorrowful and sad.
Volcanoes of pain that threaten to erupt.

Searing red-hot lava expands within my chest.
The god of addiction requires his sacrifice.

From somewhere deep within, he cries ‘appease me now’.
‘Appease me now or this pain I’ll surely spew’

This pain, I don’t doubt, will rip me quite apart
So I do what I must do this idol to placate.

At the start of my journey I didn’t realise how dark my darkness was. I thought I could overcome my problem with a little will power. But that was the problem. I thought I could overcome it. But I couldn’t. Eventually I realised I was fighting a losing battle. And that is when I realised just how dark my darkness was. I thought I was worthless and no good. I even made a list of all the things about me that I thought were not good enough for God. I gave God this list, expecting Him to agree with me. But all He did was tell me how much He loved me despite every last thing on my list. I wept that day. I was overwhelmed by His grace and compassion.

I started to seek freedom, hoping rather than knowing it was possible. I tried and failed to rid myself of the unhelpful addiction to food by pushing countless doors. Some opened and helped me take a small step forwards but many didn’t open at all. However, I didn’t give up my search. Jesus said, “Seek and you will find” (Matthew 7:7) so I kept seeking.

“Keep on keeping on” I told myself as I pushed yet another door.

In 2005, God in His mercy caused one of those wonderful God-incidences to occur. I discovered New ID (www.newid.org ), which is a 6 week Christian eating disorders course. It gave me the message that I was not alone and that freedom was definitely possible. I thank God for this course because He used it greatly in my life. However, it was another seven years before I would find freedom.

Ultimately, it was finding deeper intimacy with God that finally set me free. For years, I was seeking healing from my compulsive overeating. But I wasn’t seeking God Himself. I was seeking healing not seeking the healer. In 2009 I lost my faith for a year when I struggled with the devastation of broken dreams. I stopped believing in God but in an unexpected way it was this that set me on the final part of my journey to freedom. You see, I suddenly realised I missed God. I missed Him so much it hurt. And that made me start to seek Him, really seek Him for His own sake. And there is no prayer God is quicker to answer. Just like the father in the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15 at the first glimpse of our turning towards Him He is running with all His might to meet us and hold us in His loving divine embrace.

After coming back to faith in January 2011, I was finally seeking God for who He is not for what He could give me. I longed to know His love. I longed to find more intimacy with Him as Father. I devoured books about the Fatherhood of God. I listened time and again to Christian meditation CD’s that drew me into God’s presence (my favourite is Liz Babbs, A Quiet Place).

One day in March 2012, while sitting in Church, I knew I finally trusted Father God enough to let Him remove my food addiction for good. A wise Christian friend, Wendy, listened to me as I prayed, asking God to take it away. She then prayed for me too. I haven’t binged since then. Not once. The temptation to stuff myself with food still came knocking at the door of my mind occasionally. But when it did I found that if I went to the fridge I didn’t want to eat. It is a miracle!

Over the last year I’ve lost 2 ½ stone in weight without trying, and the weight is still coming off, very slowly but I am losing it. There have been hard lessons to learn as well. I’ve learned to sit with the difficult emotions and feel them rather than eat them away. This first year has been very challenging while I have learned this new skill, but it’s been so wonderful too.

I’ve been a Christian for over thirty years and it is only in the last year that I’ve found freedom from my addiction. It’s been a long painful journey. It has taken patience, dedication and a great deal of hard work but it’s also the most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life so far. The thing that has been so challenging is learning to trust Father God with the very deepest part of me, learning to live in intimacy with Father. Once I did that, He took the addiction from me, because I trusted Him enough to let Him do so. I don’t know what Father has in store for me but one thing I do know. Freedom tastes so very good!

Lynda Alsford

Lynda Alsford

Bio

Lynda Alsford is a Church Army Evangelist and lives in Sussex very near the sea which she loves. She enjoys various creative crafts and loves reading. She went through a major crisis of faith in 2009-2010 when despite being a trained evangelist she stopped believing in God. Her first book, ‘He Never Let Go’, describes how she evangelised herself back to faith once more. She is currently working on her second book, ‘Being Known’, which portrays her struggles with, and eventual freedom from, food addiction through finding deeper intimacy with Father God. Find out more about her and her books at her website and blog.

Filed Under: In which I Pursue Personal Transformation or Sanctification Tagged With: deliverance, food addiction, freedom, Lynda Alsford, the fatherhood of God, the grace of God

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Practicing the Way
John Mark Comer

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Olive Kitteridge
Elizabeth Strout

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The Long Loneliness:
The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist
Dorothy Day

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The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry:
How to stay emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world
John Mark Comer

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Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/16/the-silver-coi https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/16/the-silver-coin-in-the-mouth-of-a-fish-never-underestimate-god/
I've recorded a podcast on how Jesus guided Peter to find the necessary tax money in a fish.
The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God
So the taxman comes for Peter: Does Jesus pay the voluntary,
but expected tax for the upkeep of the grand temple and its
priests)? And, as he often does, Jesus asks Peter what he thinks because as a friend, he's interested,and as a brilliant teacher, he wants Peter to think for himself..
Sons do not pay tax to their fathers, they both agree. 
Then, Christ,who repeatedly referred to his powerful body
as God’s temple on earth, decides to pay temple tax anyway
to avoid a skandalon, offence.
And Jesus instructs Peter to cast a line and a hook–as amateur
fishermen did–insulting for a professional with boats and nets.
And Christ again demonstrates that he knows best even in Peter’s
one area of professional expertise. And Christ knows best in our
areas of giftedness. His call often involves working just outside
our zone of competence, forcing us to function with the magic of
God’s spirit and energy. The grain of pride must die for resurrection.
And Peter finds silver in a fish. When you lack the money to fulfil
the dream God has placed in your heart, do not rule out His
wonder-working power. Pray for God’s miraculous provision, or
for Christ’s surprising strategies to create wealth, rather than work
yourself to a breakdown, or manipulate or use others to get money.
Will God tell us, on request, which fish in the multitudinous seas
has swallowed silver? He sometimes might, for he hates waste. But
not always. Tim Keller writes, “People think if God has called
you to something, he’s promising you success. But He might be
calling you to fail to prepare you for something else through the failure.
To work all night and catch nothing, as Peter did, strengthens our
character and endurance so that we are capable of becoming fishers of
humans, and, if God pleases, sometimes, perhaps even fishers of money.
Hi, I've recorded a new podcast. Here's the link. Hi, I've recorded a new podcast. Here's the link. https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/06/following-jesus-is-costly-and-the-very-best-thing-we-can-do/
Jesus is blazingly honest about the cost of following him. It’s our most brilliant, golden choice, though it does mean we can no longer follow ourselves. We dance instead to his other-worldly, life-changing music, asking at each transition point of our day or life, “Jesus, what is your assignment? How do I do it your way?” 
For me (descriptive, not prescriptive), shouldering my cross includes eliminating sugar and starchy carbs (to lose excess weight!), not watching TV (extreme!), keep my house and garden organised and pretty enough. And, also, taming anger and outspokenness! And refusing to sing a song of worry, or linger in anger, training myself to sing instead a song of trust, praise, and gratitude. 
While following Jesus is electric, and joyful, following
ourselves could entail ruining our health with addictive foods, caffeine,overwork, or the siren-call of our phones. Following Jesus does not mean relinquishing our goals and ambitions, but surrendering them to Him. We do not own
our work; God does. And so, we must repent when we overwork, get too intense about success, or try to impress others with it. For competitive cravings for success, fame, money,
or popularity wreck relationships, and mental, spiritual, and physical health, and never satisfy, for the ladder of success has no end, and climbing it means exhausting ourselves for nothing. We’re still restless.
You have made us for yourself, Oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you, St. Augustine wrote. If we do not try to obey the Great Commandment: to love God, and Christ’s second commandment:  to love our neighbour as ourselves, we could, one day,open the treasure box of our lives and find only ashes. Nothing!
C.S. Lewis: “Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/19/persistent-pra https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/19/persistent-prayer-turns-christs-silence-his-no-and-absolutely-not-to-yes/
So, a Syro-Phoenician woman comes to Jesus, crying out,
“Lord, have mercy on me. My daughter is suffering terribly.” But 
Jesus remains silent. Undeterred, she keeps crying out.
And Jesus snubs her: “I was sent only to the lost
sheep of Israel.” But she can’t believe “No” could be
his final word. “Lord, help me,” she says simply. And
then, a crushing rebuff. “It is not right to take
the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” But hitting
rock bottom makes your prayers strangely powerful. “Yes,
it is right, Lord,” she contradicts him, “Even dogs eat crumbs
that fall.” Dogs, hungry, humble, grateful, happy.
And Jesus praises her dogged faith 
which catalyses the miracle she longs for. 
He says, "Your request is granted.” 
Never passively accept any apparently intractable situations.
Reality is infinitely malleable in the hands of God. We pray,
and people change, circumstances change. We change. So
keep praying until little drops of the kindness of God
soften and change the impossible situation and your heart. 
Take your little mustard seed of mountain-moving faith,
and pray, seeing the kind Jesus in your mind’s eye.
Continue praying, past God’s silence, his “No,” and “Absolutely Not,” 
until Christ, charmed, says, “Yes. It’s time! Go, girl, go. This way.”
Dream big and wide like childless Abraham stepping outside,
dazzled by an immensity of stars, and believing God’s power
could give him as many descendants. But don’t waste your
passion and dream-energy. Pray for things that will bring you
joy, yes, but will also bless myriad others, creating something,
in Milton’s phrase, that the world will not willingly let die.
Each of Jesus’s prayers were not answered affirmatively; neither
will each of our requests be granted. We are not wise enough
to know what best to pray for. But prayer, incredibly, does change
things. So keep praying for the shimmering dream which makes
your heart burn and quiver; pray past apparent impossibility until
the heavens open, the Spirit descends, and you live
and create with God’s spirit energising and filling you.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/08/grab-christs-h https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/08/grab-christs-hand-when-you-are-sinking/
LINK in profile
Hi friends, I’ve recorded a podcast meditation. Pls listen should you have time.
Sometimes, the little boat of your life is tossed in the darkness, in a storm-swept lake, far from shore,
And a dark figure looms, walking on water, and you cannot see his face, and you do not know his name, and you are terrified.
And in the encircling gloom, Christ always speaks the same magnificent words, “Take courage. It is I. Do not be afraid.”
He comes to us in the darkness, a future that looks bleak, with unsolvable relational difficulties or financial difficulties, or when intellect, energy, and organisation feel puny, matched with our dreams and calling. But it is Christ. Do not be afraid.
And Peter, the risk-taker, from an overabundance of love and impulsivity, says, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” And Jesus speaks another of his great words, “Come.”
Jesus, the merciful, did not ask Peter to do something that transcended the humanly possible and Peter’s faith, but
since Peter wanted to get to Jesus as quickly as possible, and to do whatever Jesus did, he gives him permission to walk on water.
We sometimes yearn to do things for which we know we don’t have the money, time, abundant gifting, or even the character. Never begin them before you’ve prayed, “Lord, tell me to do it.” And if he says, “Come,” start tackling the impossibility, immediately.
And Peter walks on water, until he sees the almost visible wind, is afraid, and begins to sink. Fear paralyses, sinks, and destroys.
And Peter prays a powerful prayer, “Lord, save me.” And immediately, Jesus reaches out his hand and catches him, scolding, “Oligopistos. You of little faith. Why did you doubt?”
And the wind dies down, and Peter learns to keep his eyes on Jesus and his power when he attempts the impossible, and to cry out for Jesus’s help when he begins to sink.
Help us, Jesus, you who control the wind and waves, and all things, when we are sinking in the darkness, and all seems impossible. Tell the wind to be quiet.
Take my hand, precious Lord. Lead me on. Let me stand. Amen.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/01/how-to-find-li https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/01/how-to-find-life-changing-hidden-treasure/
Podcast link in profile
Hi Friends, I've recorded a new podcast meditation on Jesus's statement that following him is like discovering priceless treasure hidden in a field. The finder would joyfully sell everything to buy it, as should we!
Jesus speaks of living in the Kingdom of God, living with him as our High King and Lord, as a treasure, worth selling everything we have to gain.
He describes it as experiencing peace, joy, and operating in the power of the Holy Spirit.
As literally selling everything we have would take time, so too will adjusting our lives to living in Christ's invisible Kingdom.
It requires a slow, steady but definite adjustment of each area of our lives: relationships, what we read and watch, consumption and production of social media, travel, leisure, our spending and giving, time spent on food prep and exercise, on prayer and scripture, on reading and the news, on home and garden maintenance, on church activities and volunteering. Some of us will spend less time on these, others will spend more, for we each have a unique shape and calling.
Entering into the kingdom of God is a very individual pilgrim's progress; we each have a different starting point. Rick Warren of The Purpose Driven Life suggests that those seeking to change anything change their bodies first, by getting their exercise and diet under control... which is where I am starting!!
While following Christ is costly, for sure, it's costlier to follow what Tim Keller called Counterfeit Gods --“money, the seduction of success, the power and the glory,” climbing a cruel ladder which has no end, and never satisfies for long. 
In a remarkable account, Bill Bright, founder of Cru, describes his surrender to God as abandoning his puny little plans for God's magnificent plans. Once done, he said the future seemed brighter than ever before... And it undoubtedly was! Jesus's promise that the things the unbelieving world chases will added to those who seek his Kingdom first came true in Bright’s life, as it will in ours as we pursue Christ.
I’ve seen these Pre-Raphaelite paintings in Tate I’ve seen these Pre-Raphaelite paintings in Tate Britain several times, and they delight me each time. What a gorgeous museum!
And here is this week’s podcast meditation-- https://anitamathias.com/2023/06/18/the-spirit-helps-us-speak-creative-words-of-energy-and-life/ (link in Instagram bio)
On how we need the Spirit’s help to speak creative words of energy and life, not darkness and devastation.
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