guidance Archives - Dreaming Beneath the Spires

I am reading a memoir, Sealed Orders, by the American healer and mystic, Agnes Sanford. Interestingly, I’ve just read A Man Called Peter, by Catherine Marshall, her biography of her husband, Peter Marshall, who felt that he lived under “sealed orders.”
During wartime, commanding officers of ships, or squadrons operated under “sealed orders.” For security, and perhaps because the commander might have been tempted to disobey, he did not open them until he had reached a certain point in his journey.
I like the idea that we operate under “sealed orders.”
While God does give us a rough road map–I knew I was to be a writer, not a medical doctor, say–God does not tell us everything he is going to ask us to do….or ask of us in terms of suffering or challenge at the outset.
If so, we would find it overwhelming, or discouraging. We might never set out.
At each end of the road, at each turn of our journey, we receive “sealed orders” for that stretch of the road.

* * *

It is an exciting concept. God is never done with us. Into our fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties… there are new “sealed orders.” People to bless and influence; things to learn, and things to do and things to endure. Increased efficiency, increased skills, increased wisdom, and perhaps even, mastery of things we have long loved to do. And always the infinite depths and treasures of God to dive into, ever deeper. Always our puzzling, brilliant, invisible friend, Jesus Christ, to get to know better and better…

When You Think it’s All Over, And That End is a New Beginning

By Anita Mathias

So John, beautiful, sensitive evangelist, is exiled to Patmos, a Roman penal colony, by the Emperor Diocletian.

It’s all over for him. He who had been one of the three with Jesus at every climactic moment of his ministry; who had leaned on Jesus at the Last Supper feeling the physical and verbal beat of his heart; who stood by Jesus at the Cross, seeing the heart of the Gospel; who intuitively saw the connection between the Old and New Covenants, beginning his Gospel echoing Genesis, In the Beginning was the Word.

Oh, he’s done for.

Here he is on barren Patmos, the sun scorching him by day, and the moon by night, the few springs hard to find.

It’s all over, John. You had been commanded to go into all the world, and preach the Gospel to all creation.

But here you are, alone on Patmos.

You who once wrote with the pen of an angel—you have recorded your memories of Jesus.

Nothing new is happening. What are you to write?

* * *

Meanwhile, The Roman Empire rushes on in its empirely way, and the Christian Church flourishes underground, getting stronger in its paradoxical way. And John: alone, forgotten.

Silent.

He who has learned so much, and has so much to teach has no platform; no readers, no listeners, nothing…

* * *

It’s apparently all over for you, John…

Except for that one thing that still can happen to the one exiled to Patmos, who feels that all his life has been a failure, and that life is almost over

One thing no one can rule out: not the exile, or the prisoner, or the solitary.

GOD.

God spoke to you.

* * *

The Word of God.

The Presence of God.

It changed everything for John.

He hears a loud voice like a trumpet, and turns around to see a man whose eyes were like blazing fire. His voice was like the sound of rushing waters. And from his mouth a sharp, double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance (Revelation 1: 10-16).

And Jesus said

“Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look: I am alive for ever and ever!”

Do not be afraid, oh hidden one, for you are hidden in me. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the A and the Z, and within this alphabet, all words are possible, all things are possible.

I was dead, dead as you fear your future is, dread as you fear your hopes, your work and your influence are. But now I am alive.

And in me, all the crushed, hidden, suppressed things in you shall come alive too.

In me, your future is bright and full of possibility.

“Write, therefore, what you have seen, in a book.”

And at his word, John begun a new chapter of his life, writing… Words of comfort and revelation for seven churches and twentyone centuries.

* * *

Diocletian exiled you to Patmos, John but Diocletian was not writing the story of your life, though he may have thought he was. He was but a pawn in the Grandmaster’s good plot for your life.

You were exiled to barren Patmos out of fear and malice and the desire to control and neutralize you.

But that was exactly the plot Jesus permitted, to get you out of the way of ministry; out of the way of teaching; out of the way of adulation and followers and rapt listeners; out of the way of Simon who would buy your power, and James and Peter who might wonder who was the greatest.

This barren island, where no one wants to hear from you, no one wants to speak to you, where is there nothing to do and no voice to listen to but Christ’s, this place which seems an insane location for the man who knew Jesus better than any man did, the beloved disciple, for heaven’s sake, who could tell all the world about him– why would Jesus permit you, John, to be in Patmos?

Because you did have more to write, as it happened, and he had to get you quiet to hear his words, away from teaching or ministry or church planting, or trouble with the Romans, or trouble with the Jews, away from it all, away from the important necessary work of building a church that would be the hope of the world, to do something even more important.

To choose the better path.

To hear what the man with eyes like fire and a voice like the sound of running waters said, and to write it down in book.

* * *

Oh reader, does your life feel becalmed? As if all your bright dreams have come to nothing? Does the Empire run on without you, both the Kingdom of the World, and the Kingdom of Christ, while you are forgotten in Patmos.

You are not alone. He who sits upon the throne walks unseen beside you.

Your future is bright, for he who is light itself can turn your trajectory around in a moment.

For every seismic change begins within.

And while He chooses to let you stay exactly where you are in your dark season, he who is light itself will be for you light in the darkness.

* * *

Oh you who feel the sting of failure, do you know that being beaten and coming to the end of yourself are powerful things? Closed doors force you to look for the door that Jesus will open and no one can shut.

Oh you who are well and truly defeated in what you set out to do, you who are well and truly out of energy, be of good cheer. You will now be forced to rely on a power beyond yourself for sustainable strategies…and this I know, his strategies will beat yours, any day, every way.

When everything seems to have ended, a new chapter can begin when you see the face of Jesus and hear the word of God to you. A new chapter will begin when you learn to work with the power of the Holy Spirit.

Be not afraid.

* * *

So you who are on Patmos, what do you do?

First of all, surrender the rest of your life to Jesus. Open your hands, and pour all the dreams and ambitions in them into his hands. Pour your health and your talents, your money and your resources, or the lack of them, all the things you have going for you, all the things you do NOT have going for you, into his hands

Do not dream of beginning a new chapter, a new project, a new enterprise without his direction.

Is your life too quiet? Do not fight the quietness. Do not seek to make things noisier unless he tells you to.

Are you unknown, and unrecognised; are your words dormant within you? Ask him to give your words wings, to bring them to all those who will be blessed by them. Hand your career over to him as clay, asking him to fashion something beautiful, something lasting with it.

Train yourself to act not by might or by power, not by force or manipulation, but by God’s spirit. Ask God to teach you to act with the power of the Holy Spirit.

When you think it’s all over, and you think you’ve failed, and are on a downward spiral, too old to do anything new, beautiful or important, get quiet on your Patmos, for as many days or weeks as it takes, until the noise of the outer world blows away.

Get quiet, beloved failure; listen hard for the one with blazing eyes, with a voice like a trumpet.

The answer may come immediately, or in the ten days it took the prophet Jeremiah to hear the word of the Lord. Or longer.

Then do what he tells you.

It may be that when everything is lost, he will speak, he will whisper, whisper softly in your ear. Stage directions that you really need to hear.

And all your past will be an insignificant chapter compared to the great chapters he is now going to write in your life, you and he together.

And all the words you have written will fade into insignificance compared to the words you will write, as he whispers softly in your ear.

He saves the best for last.

And if he says so, “write everything you have seen in a book.” (Revelation 1:11)

* * *

Tweetables

When you feel everything is dead, lost & over, but God suggests a new beginning. From @anitamathias1

As we listen to God, the trajectory of our lives can turn around in a moment. From @anitamathias1

When everything seems to have ended, a new chapter can begin when you hear the word of God to you. From @anitamathias1

Within the Alpha and the Omega, all words & all things are possible. From @anitamathias1

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See What God is Blessing and Join it (Bono)

By Anita Mathias

I used to pray the way Bono says he did: In countless ways, big and small, I was always seeking the Lord’s blessing. I’d be saying, “Look, I’ve got a new song…Would you look out [for it]. I have a family; I’m going away on tour — please look after them. I have this crazy idea. Could I have a blessing on it?”

However, Bono continues, A number of years ago, I met a wise man who changed my life. This wise man asked me to stop. He said, “Stop asking God to bless what you’re doing. Get involved in what God is doing — because it’s already blessed.

Bono decided to get involved with the poor, because, as he says, “God is always with the poor.”

I believe all Christians are called to be a blessing to the poor–though some of us (I, for instance) may have other primary vocations and callings, and we may be called to bless the poor with our money, rather than with our sweat.

* * *

Like Bono, when casting about for what to throw my energy into, I try to see which area of my life God is already blessing. Where is his activity most evident? In my case, in my growing blog, my activity on social media, and in our family business.

When we are aligned with Jesus, multiplication becomes the norm, just as Jesus fed five thousand with five loaves, and spiritually feeds millions with his broken body.

A supernatural increase which we couldn’t possibly have brought about through our own efforts: I see that as a hallmark of God’s blessing.

* * *

When we decided that Roy should resign from his career as a mathematician, at which he was successful, to manage our small publishing company, I saw a mental image of the river of God rushing and flowing into our family business. Going on in academia would almost be rowing against the stream.

And indeed, the little company has been blessed over our wildest expectations. In the beginning, when we were rushed off our feet, and hugely stressed as the company took off, Roy said wryly, “Well, you got more than you asked, or dreamed of asking!!”

I stared, a bit stunned. Yes, indeed I had. I always lingered over that verse, Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, a bit sadly and not with a great deal of faith, almost as if these things were things that happened to someone else, but me, oh my imagination was so wild that God couldn’t possibly do immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine.

Seriously, I remember, aged 17, singing “The dream I have today my Lord is only a shadow of your dream for me,” and thinking “Nah, my dreams are so wild, how can that be…”

* * *

Immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine…there is now a page with that title in my prayer journal, and I pray that, with anticipation.

It’s a good question to ask at the start of a New Year, with all that fresh energy. What is God blessing? Where is his presence and power most apparent in my life?

For me, at the moment, in blogging and writing and business, and that shall be my year’s focus.

And so I cry out like Jabez:

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request. 1 Chron 4:10.

We Need Scripture to Help us Make Decisions. But we need the Spirit too. We need Jesus

By Anita Mathias

jacob-jordaens-christ-disputing-with-the-pharisees_2

Christ Disputing with the pharisees (Jacob Jordaens)

Beyond the sacred page I seek Thee, Lord;

My spirit pants for Thee, O living Word!

Mary Lathbury, 1877

³⁹You study^[^c^]the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, ⁴⁰yet you refuse to come to me to have life, (John 5:39) Jesus says to the Pharisees.

Sad and scary words? All that diligent study of Scripture, and yet they did not recognise Jesus as the Christ.

* * *

I have been ScriptureGirl for most of my Christian life.

But I no longer play Scripture roulette. You know: Don’t know what to do—treasure-hunt a Scripture verse to guide you. Find one with relief. Rely on the letter more than the spirit.

As a younger Christian, when stumped in decision-making, I searched for Scripture verses. For instance, we were about to buy our second house in a private sale from our landlord, and pay cash, as we had for our first. The seller was difficult and each time we were closer to exchanging contracts came up with a fresh contractual change. I got so stressed that I refused to sign the day before the sale was to go through. (Now, who was I calling difficult?)

Why? This scripture verse kept running through my head. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peaceful, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere (James 3:17). There was no peace throughout the process, just stress, contention and suspicion. We got a house that cost twice the amount, in a posher neighbourhood, and got a mortgage, of course.

It probably worked out okay, but today, I would seek the face of Jesus, and to hear his voice, and not rely on a single verse of Scripture in spiritual decision making.

***

Other examples: sometimes, Roy might make what I consider a foolish decision. I might demur a bit, but sometimes run out of energy, and say to myself, “Wives, submit to your husbands (Eph. 5:22).” Ah, I can take the path of least resistance, and have a scripture verse to cover my back.

And sometimes, his decisions work out well, and sometimes they most certainly do not.

Today, I wouldn’t rest on a single verse as a cop-out. I would seek Jesus’ face instead and his guidance on whether I should gently pursue the bone of contention, or drop it.

***

I seek the Scriptures for wisdom and guidance, of course, but they are a single element in my decision making, along with seeking to hear the Spirit, and seek the face of Christ.

We do not worship the Bible; we worship Christ. We need the Spirit to help us interpret the word. We need the Living Christ to guide us.

Okay, another example. For the last seven weeks, I have worked hard, Monday to Saturday. I have written my memoir, about 800 words a day, publishing it on my blog, and I have written and published a blog post, about 800-1200 words. I have been running, up to 7000 steps a day. I have been reading. I have been disciplined. And by Sunday, I am shattered.

Sunday dawns, bright and clear. The sun shines. God is in his heaven, and all is lovely in his world. Do I obey the Biblical directive to rest? Sleep in, have a long nap. And heaven knows, my body needs it. Should I worship God today in the cathedral of the bird-loud open fields as I walk and pray instead of in a stained-glass-shady church?

Or do I obey the Scriptural directive to “forsake not assembling together,” and drag my groggy self—sluggish mind, sluggish body– to church, when I know I would be more energized by a run, and a nap, and praying in solitude.

If I were playing Scripture roulette, running my life by the written word, I would say, “Forsake not assembling together,” and drag my tired self to church, sometimes get bored and restless and irritated, and sometimes, be blessed by the music, and the atmosphere, and the quiet presence of a few hundred people worshipping God.

But, ah middle age, wonderfully liberating time of life! I seek a person: Jesus, more than random scripture verses. “So, what should be my game plan for today, Jesus? Should I be restored by going to church, worshipping in community, and be possibly inspired, and possibly bored by the sermon? Or should I nap, garden, pray, run, watch a movie, read, relax at home, minister to myself through prayer and scripture and worship music, and reach Monday bouncing?”

I do worship best in community. But of late, I have sensed Jesus giving me this wonderful, cherished permission slip to really rest. (Though I sense this is a very short-term permission slip!!)

So that’s how I increasingly make decisions. No more picking out Proverbs and verses. Instead, I sit quiet before Jesus, try to “see” him, try to hear his voice, and sense which way the wind of spirit is blowing.

* * *

Will this lead to what some evangelicals fear as the great folly of “the Jesus I know?” You know, where you suspect that Jesus would be full of mercy and compassion towards all those called to ministry, both men and women, gay and straight, because Jesus in the flesh was full of mercy and compassion towards everyone, except those who were judgemental and self-righteous.

“The Jesus I know.” Does it make sense? Why, yes, of course. That’s the only Jesus we can know—through a mixture of study of scripture in which he is revealed; and through the Holy Spirit who continued to reveal Him (“He will teach you all things, and make known to you everything I have commanded you,” John 14:26) and through prayer, talking and listening to the Living Christ, who makes his home within us (John 14:23). How foolish it would be to accept the Jesus someone else knows, rather than the Jesus we ourselves know.

No two people had the same relationship with Christ. He berated the Pharisees for their pride and obsession with reputation, but offered understanding and acceptance to the shamed woman at the well, or the woman caught in adultery or “the woman who had led a sinful life.” Naturally each of these knew a different Jesus.

How foolish it would have tell the demoniac whom Jesus instructed “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you,” Mark 5: 19 to obey Jesus’s directive to the rich young ruler, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Jesus said different things to each of them.

* * *

The church has always had dominant, vocal groups who soapbox about the Jesus they know, and the theology they have concocted, and bully, shame and silence the rest with their proof texts to accept their Jesus. A Jesus who thinks exactly as they do on all the hot button issues of the day, and is, for instance, complementarian, not egalitarian; who is anti-women -bishops and anti-gay marriage, but pro-life, pro-guns and pro-death penalty.

It is neither intellectually, spiritually nor psychologically safe to accept the Jesus someone else knows. We just have to do the difficult, time-consuming work of searching the Scriptures for ourselves, praying, and seeking Jesus.

Will we get things wrong in this process? Yes, probably. Possibly inevitably.

Will Jesus hold these things against us? No.

Stupidity is not a sin. Laziness and spiritual indifference which seeks acceptance by the dominant group by accepting other people’s theologies without searching the Scriptures or seeking Jesus and his Spirit for ourselves—these, on the other hand, would not impress Christ.

* * *

How scary it would have been to accept the Scriptural readings of the experts, the learned scribes and Pharisees who had spent their lives studying the Scriptures–and, as a result, totally not recognize the real incarnated Jesus.

We can risk that if we accept the dominant theology or theological-political discourse whether it is about hell or homosexuals, abortion or women when it lacks the mercy and compassion, the fresh grace, fresh fire, and fresh astonishment which characterized Jesus.

Return to the Scriptures, search them for yourself, ask Jesus to reveal himself to you, convict you, jail-break you, turn you upside down, fill you with the joy He came to give you, and which so often goes missing in action when we accept other people’s strait-jacketed, straight-faced, straight-laced Jesus.

Oh, but I want the real one–the wild-eyed, astonishing, scary, uncompromising, flexible, brilliant man who walks through the Gospels, and steps off their pages into my life.

Oh, just give me Jesus.

The Eagle, and Waiting to Discerning God’s Will Before You Act

By Anita Mathias

The eagle waits at the edge of its nest for the winds of the storm to gain velocity. Once the storm is strong enough, it spreads its magnificent wings, and allows the storm to carry it where it wills.

By waiting for the wind to gain velocity before it flies, “it can run and not be weary, walk, and not be faint.” It wastes not an ounce of energy.

* * *

I think we can avoid much wasted effort if we do not act until the winds of the Spirit are strong, until we are sure we are flying with the wind of the Spirit, not without it, or, heaven forbid, against it.

And this is a learned skill.

I have been impulsive and impressionable for much of my life, and this does not make me rejoice. I look back on wasted efforts; projects committed to impulsively and later abandoned; or grimly seen through but without much fruit. Things done that came to nothing.

It is perhaps the story of many lives, but it does not have to be.

I have noticed the enormous difference even in small things– like deciding if and where to go on holiday, and what to do there—when I pray about it, and wait for guidance. It leaves me quite disinclined to commit to things, if I have not heard God’s guidance on whether I should be doing them. I now do not like to go through a weekend, or a vacation day without checking with God to see what ideas he may have for my day!

* * *

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor and the enemy of the people,” Ann Lamott says. I have, for decades, allowed my writing life to be poisoned by the stress and sadness of perfectionism.

“What we want is not more little books about Christianity, but more little books by Christians on other subjects—with their Christianity latent,” C.S. Lewis wrote.

So, I am trying to lower the bar–which is the best way to write well.

Apart from “little books,”–and I have just finished one which is with editors–I am trying to discipline myself to write more “little blogs,” 400-500 words (rather than my normal 800-1200 word blogs)– a single thought, a single insight, a single blessing, slight perhaps. I will write these on the off-chance that what spoke to me might speak to others.

Christian bloggers can play a prophetic role if they record what they hear the Lord saying to them. For He might be saying the same thing to others too, and perhaps our little blog is one way in which he will speak to our readers. Perhaps. God willing!