Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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“Do not Resist Evil;” One Way to Heal after Experiencing Evil

By Anita Mathias

Image Credit

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. (Matthew 5 38-41).

Oh Jesus, how costly your words are.

Recently, when I’ve suffered actual or perceived injustice or annoyance, and have taken up the matter with Jesus, I’ve heard him say, “Let him.” “Let her.”

“Just don’t get entangled with evil, with resistance, with revenge. Let them do what they want to do. I am the ultimate score-keeer, the umpire, who will provide you another coat, and strength to walk the third mile on your own business after you’ve marched two miles carrying the Roman soldier’s gear.”

* * *

If we do not “let them,” if we plot revenge, if we put our emotional hooks in our enemy’s flesh, mentally dragging them behind us everywhere, we get embroiled in an endless tit-for-tat world of malice.

The principle of an eye for an eye, applied in the Code of Hammurabi, Judaism and Islam was neat, merciless, and there an end. But in our more sophisticated societies, what constitutes an eye for an eye is not so easily calculated. People extract revenge in all sorts of ways: gossip, slander, blocking, passive aggression, malice, and pettiness.

Sad for the victim, and sad too for the perpetrator—whose character becomes smaller and meaner and shrivels, becoming increasingly cut off from the waterfall of the grace and power of God. Once we put those who have wronged us on a mental blacklist, unconsciously ready to get even given a chance, we are no longer quite so open to God’s guidance; the presence of the Holy Spirit no longer pulses in our souls.

But what are we to do when we suffer injustice? Because we well might. The enemy of our souls stalks this world, twisting, corrupting, darkening. However, he plays against the Grandmaster who will, of course, ultimately win.

* * *

Let tell you a story of my initial failure and ultimate success in one of my encounters with evil. And about one way I have stumbled on to heal after experiencing evil.

Several years ago, I was wronged, unfairly treated, and humiliated. Because this happened at an extremely vulnerable point in my life, it precipitated an episode of “great sadness.”

A couple of years after that incident, through an unexpected turn of events, I got to “whistle-blow,”—I publicly pointed out a severe dereliction of duty on the part of the person who had unfairly treated me. They resigned from their relatively well-paid sinecurish job.

Quits, huh? This person furiously said to me, “Well, you’ve got your pound of flesh now, haven’t you?” And I childishly replied, “No, what you did to me was far worse.”

But yes, I had got my pound of flesh, plus. However, each time I remembered how I had been treated, my heart burned with indignation at the injustice and shaming. I wanted to do something about it, all over again.  Though, I had already done something. As they said, I had had my pound of flesh. (And eating anger probably did add some pounds of flesh to my frame.)

We will never feel quits, never, because the memory of past wrongs feels fresh again. And at the “re-injury,” we again want to get even, though heck, we’ve already done so in so many petty soul-corrupting ways, damaging our souls, damaging our communion with Jesus, and with his sweet spirit.

* * *

And so for our protection, Jesus tells us not to even try to get even. But we are not to sit all tensed up saying, “I will not take revenge. I will not think of a pink elephant.”

There are other ways for the soul to  heal. One is do good to those who have injured you. And what when our soul cannot yet stretch to that sublimity? When we cannot bring ourselves to do our enemies a good turn?

I am reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly.  She quotes psychologist James Pennebaker who says that the act of not discussing a traumatic event or confiding it to another person could be more damaging than the actual event. Conversely, when people shared their stories and experiences, their physical health improved.

In his book Writing to Heal, Pennebaker says, “The act of writing about traumatic experience for as little as 15 or 20 minutes a day for three or four days can produce measurable changes in physical and mental health. Emotional writing can also affect people’s sleep habits, work efficiency, and how they connect with others.”

So then, I write my three morning pages about this particular episode which still made me feel outraged when I thought about it.

* * *

And as I write, I see it wholly, not just all the infuriating bits, but the whole chain of events, including my culpability.

In scripture, a turning point is often marked by the phrase, “But God.”  And unexpectedly, God steps in. As I was able to see those disturbing events more clearly, I was also able to see the good God brought out of them.

He showed me that his loving kindness had been extended to me, though other people may have behaved out of insecurity,  competitiveness, jealousy, malice or in a good old-fashioned power struggle. Augustine writes in his Confessions that his teachers acted towards him in malice or indifference, but God was working too, turning it to good.

I then had been leading and spear-heading something I shouldn’t have been because I was overwhelmed and beside myself in my personal life. I need to get my house in order, literally. I needed to get my business profitable. I need to stabilize my emotions. I needed more sleep, more rest. I needed to write, which I wasn’t doing at all. I needed the desert, which I so chafed against. I needed an Elijah experience of sleeping, eating and resting. I needed to see God in the wilderness like Hagar did. And I needed to emerge from it, strong, leaning on my beloved.

And through my enforced sojourn in the desert, forced on me by these people, I developed my latent entrepreneurial gifts. I established our family business, freeing me to focus on writing. I had time to establish my blog, slowly writing my way to a blogging style which speaks to people. I learnt soaking prayer. I became convinced of the deep love of God for me. My soul healed. And I cut all ties with those toxic people!

God was in the situation, the Grandmaster, putting me in a corner, to rest, to heal, to gather strength for the destiny he had in mind for me. The people who put me in the corner were also pawns in the grandmaster’s hand. Nothing happened to me but what He permitted; nothing, but what He turned to goodness and blessing for me.

Nothing, nothing, happens to you but what God has permitted. Nothing, nothing happens to you that God is unable to turn to good.

Do not resist an evil person. Do not get emotionally entangled with them. If they force you to march a mile, march it. If they take your cloak, shrug it off; let him have it. And then march free, your eyes on your Father, who can give you the cloak you need, the strength you need, whose eyes are on you, who can do anything, for whom nothing is too wonderful.

And Jesus, please give me the grace, if and when necessary, to live my own words—and Yours.

 

Over to you:

Have you experienced evil? How have you healed after that experience?

 

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus, Matthew Tagged With: blog through the bible, brene brown, healing through expressive writing, James Pennebaker, loving enemies, Matthew, morning pages, sermon on the mount

The Will of God Always Leads Us to a Larger Place

By Anita Mathias

Picture

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen.  “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him. (Matthew 4 18-20) 

So the fishers of fish become halieis anthropon, ἁλιεῖς ἀνθρώπων, fishers of men. The will of God always leads us to a larger place, to an enlarged territory.

Because God’s desire is always for the fullest human flourishing. “The glory of God is man fully alive,” a lovely line credited to St. Irenaeus

And once we have surrendered our lives to him, he keeps moving us, onward and upward to the place where we can both use all our gifts and be a blessing to others. And in general, he takes the moving car of who we are; our gifts, abilities and experience, and steers it higher, stronger, faster.

So Jesus takes physically strong, entrepreneurial fisherman inured to hard work, team work, hardship, disappointment, nights at sea, and gives them the task of fishing men into an eternal kingdom. He applies their natural gifts to eternal, supernatural purposes.

Of course, just as we don’t give our children just one birthday present, once in their lives, so God continually gives us new gifts, abilities, capabilities, insight and new wisdom. But the vocation to which he calls us will be true to who we are, and to our interests and gifts.

* * *

Retreat to advance

In the short run, however, Peter and Andrew, James and John became downwardly mobile. No longer independent businessmen, but vagabonds, with no place to rest their head, dependent on charity.

Their old selves had to be broken, to be reformed like a beautiful mosaic.

John Wimber, founder of the Vineyard Movement, flourished in the music industry. However, on becoming a Christian, he found it incompatible with discipleship. So he left, and found work in a factory. An old colleague came to see him, asking for John Wimber’s office. He found Wimber covered with oil, inside a oil-barrel he was scrubbing out. The musician thought Wimber had gone mad!! (Recounted by Carol Wimber in The Way it Was.)

It required this brokenness for Wimber to be willing to hear when God said, “John, I have seen your work. Now let me show you mine.” And to be open to going with the flow of God’s  eccentric purposes.

And later to be a willing instrument when the Holy Spirit songs kept coming, no longer pop songs popular for a year, but spirit-given songs sung for decades, or longer.

* * *

However, it takes a period of brokenness and withdrawal for a gift to be repurposed, for fishermen to become fishers of men.

He needs our surrender before He can use us to bless others.

And when it happens, it feels like hell.

* * *

I was blocked in 2006 when a literary agent wanted me to make changes in my manuscript. Words dripped like crystallising treacle; I was blocked.

So I took a break, decided to put the kids in private school, founded a small publishing company to pay for that. When Roy could come aboard full time in 2010, and I could “retire,” I felt I no longer knew how to write. I had barely read for 4 years. I had lost writerly confidence.

When I started again, after hearing God suggest blogging, my writing was different. I was singing a new song.

I was more interested in speaking to my readers and blessing them than in a career (though, of course, I still want one) I was more interested in what I said, than in how I said it, which was huge for the girl who had been enamoured with style. I desperate to cut perfectionism off at the neck, and just get my work out there. Ship it! I was writing for the health of my soul, and as an offered gift to my readers, rather than for the glory of a career.

It takes a period of brokenness for the Great Artist to put your gifts together into a glorious mosaic, all hammered gold and gold enamelling, all tesserae and shimmering glass.

* * *

When I first wanted to offer my life to God, I went off to work with Mother Teresa, aged 17. (Having skipped years at school, winning “double promotions,” I was done with Grade 12 by the time I was 16.) I assumed because Jesus said, “Whatever you have done to the least of these…” that surely God’s will for me, and for every Christian was to work with the poor!

However, I am a dreamy and impractical person, and if I were a medieval woman when this was a plausible career choice, I would have become a mystic!

I was no good at Mother Teresa’s, with its packed-like-sardines community life; loud constant, vocal prayer, and lots of practical work. I languished and wilted; I got all sorts of things wrong; life felt like a series of hammer blows to my heart.

But writing–I have always written easily and reasonably well. It has generally been my joy.

Can writing be the way I am to serve God? Can writing be my worship? For years, I didn’t really believe something so lovely could be true

But now I do.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” (Frederick, Buechner, Wishful Thinking)

Because God is good, pouring perfume can be an act of worship, and so can writing (no longer for fame or money, though few are averse to these things!) but as an act of worship, of pure devotion.

“Child, you have written for ambition,” he says. “Come write for me, as your worship of me.

And I will make you… Ah, wait and see.”

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus, Matthew Tagged With: Following Christ, John Wimber, Peter and Andrew, vocation

On Brothers and Inheritances, and When Jesus is Exasperating

By Anita Mathias

 

So this is C. S Lewis’s famous trilemma: when Jesus is outrageous, as he often is, you have to decide. Do you laugh him off as a lunatic, blow him off as a liar, or bow the knee as to your Lord?

The aggrieved brother in Luke 12 was faced with Lewis’s trilemma. “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me,” he asks, perfectly reasonably.

Jesus is having none of it. “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?”

In other words: “You are on your own, buddy. You make your own inheritance-pursuing-or-relinquishing choices. Don’t involve me.”

But he advises him, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”

Beware of greed: wanting more than you need. Because life is not about amassing money or stuff.

And then he bursts into story. A rich man got richer. Instead of enjoying his wealth right now, living in the present, and sharing some of it, he decides to tear down his barns and build bigger ones to store his surplus, “enough for many years”. And THEN he will “Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.” ’

But God calls him a fool, because he was living in future tense. He would die that very day without enjoying his wealth at all, and without getting to share it in the way he might have wished.

It is foolish to store up wealth, instead of being generous towards the priorities of God, Jesus concludes. (Which I interpret literally, that Jesus calls those foolish who waste their precious lives storing up wealth.)

* * *

Brothers and inheritances have suddenly become an issue for us. Roy’s grandmother left substantial money in Roy’s name, and we’ve been pressured by his “baby’ brother to sign it over to their mum, to be left to her heir. And given that he has power of attorney, we are suspicious as who that might be.  She has bought this brother rental properties and retirement homes, so that he, a medical doctor, Cambridge-educated like Roy, has spent his life adventuring in mountains, rarely doing paid work, whereas we, we’ve worked hard, and, and…

Can you hear me hyperventilating?…And can you sense the terrible tedium of family financial politics, and the resentment, and emails are flying, and all of us are committed Christians, and it is getting ugly. And an uncle, a judge, as it happens, audacious, outrageous, takes the brothers side. He wants to control the money, putting in trust, supposedly for the mum, but we’re suspicious, and blackmails us with far-fetched threats. Time-zone differences mean we go to sleep and wake up with harassing emails about money!!

And my peace, which I believe is the normal state for a Christian, is being shaken. Blogger Emily Wierenga says a kiss is never just a kiss. It involves “hips, lips, heart, mind and neglected childhoods.” So too a family financial dispute is never only about money. It’s about who was cleverer, and who was the favourite, and who has been more successful and what is owned to the ugly duckling. It’s about greed and resentment and fear and lack of trust in God. It’s about living as if God cannot even now give us twelve legions of inheritances.

I had told Roy: I am the writer, let me handle this, but this all got too filthy-ugly for me and affected my peace and my sleep and my weight and my blogging. I was being dragged down by other people’s greed, and our own intransigence.

* * *

So yesterday, I walk alone to the Sgwd yr Eira waterfall in the Brecon Beacons before going to the Cwmbran revival meetings (on which more soon).

And as I walk, I hear the voice of Jesus say tenderly, “Anita, do you remember my fable about brothers and inheritances and bewaring of greed?”

Me, warily, “Yeees.”

He, “So?”

I am sullen and silent. Feeling very rebellious.

And he’s silent too. He’s a gentleman that way.

* * *

And me, crossly, “Roy’s worked hard for our house, and that baby brother, aged 48, gets houses just for the asking, and he’s rarely done any paid work, and now he’s trying to get this inheritance too, and it’s just not fair.”

But now it’s down to this: Liar, lunatic or Lord. Do I believe Jesus when he says “Beware of greed?” Or not?

When bossy little me helps my peaceful husband contend for his inheritance, we are stressed. I don’t feel I am living in the waterfall of God’s love. Take my little paws off contending, which is greed, and I am at peace again. We can live without the inheritance (as can all the other people contending for it, incidentally).

So after six weeks of emails escalating in bitterness and incivility and the general imploding craziness of family financial feuds, I write saying: No more contending on our parts; no more quarrelling; this is the last email from us on the subject.

Don’t quarrel and fight, James says. If you want something, ask God.

* * *

Following Jesus is a matter of these little hair-pin decisions. You either do what he says, and continue ascending with him on the narrow paths that lead to life, or laugh at him as the man must have done who wanted an inheritance and got a story, and then go on into a world of stress and contention, wealth perhaps, but a whole lot less peace, because you will no longer be walking according to the eccentric, infuriating, outrageous, apparently nutty dictates of Him who is wisdom incarnate.

* * *

The Christian life is like that, a tricky business.

Every now and then, Jesus asks you in the silence of your heart. “So, honey, are we going to do this my way? Or your way?”

The choice is yours. If you say, “Jesus, to be frank, your way is nuts. Not contend for our inheritance, indeed!” he will look at you sadly, but not push the point.

And your paths will diverge, and one day you will look at him sadly, remember the romance you once had, the love you once shared, the time he lived within you like a stream of living waters, and you will be sad.

So I make my choice. No more contending. Yeah, I will hold on to Jesus with both hands, will dance with him, and I will let Him take care of inheritances. Or even, God forbid, the lack of them!

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus, In which I play in the fields of Scripture Tagged With: greed, Inheritance, Luke

Dancing with the Lord

By Anita Mathias

Dancing with the Lord,
That’s the way I want to live:
moving in so closely
that I’m guided unconsciously.
He doesn’t mind my clumsiness,
my obvious inexpertise.
And when exhaustion
makes me stall, I climb
onto his feet, like a child
on her father’s toes,
and the dance continues

while His music plays.

 

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus Tagged With: discipleship, Intimacy

The Church That Had Too Much

By Anita Mathias

On holiday in Ireland in 2010, I woke up from a vivid dream, which I have here written down. It’s available on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk.

The church that had too much -- 9781849026567 front cover

The Church That Had Too Much

Once upon a time,
there was a church
that Had Too Much.

Now the members of this church worked very hard
with great rectitude, and they had a good reputation
with believer and townsman alike,
and the work of their hands was blessed,

and they grew very rich.

image1

And whenever the members of the church saw each other,
they said, “Oh, we must have you over.”

And then those who heard this
smiled a tight little smile,
and said, “Yes, and we must too.”

And each went away sad,
because they knew it would probably never be.
Because the lovely couches from Liberty
with toy helicopters from Hamley’s which really flew,
and dolls which laughed and wetted themselves,
and handheld computers and Nintendo, and their living rooms
had toy cars which moved and beeped,
and toy kitchens with ovens which lit up and nearly cooked,
and intricate monster doll houses,
and if other little children came,
their children would cry if their toys were touched,
or, heaven forbid, broken.

image2

 

image3


And in the study,
the shelves overflowed
with books bought which had been read,
or had been meant to be read,
but interests had changed,
and besides, with the demands of life and maintenance,
there was simply no time to read.

And littered in the family room,
were dvds which had been watched once,
and probably never would be again:
grimly educational documentaries and silly soaps,
still shrink-wrapped; VHS cassettes, but the VCR was broken,
and few stores sold one, and old cassettes and cds
listened to once, whose sound one no longer liked.

image4

 

And scattered lay iPod Shuffles,
unused because the kids had bought iPod Touches
because everyone else had them,
and then upgraded to the sleek
iPod Nano for the video camera,
and then an iPhone 4,
and finally,  an iPad to stand-out,
be distinguished, and the envy of their form,
in a way far more easily accomplished
by kids whose parents have more than enough
than by the hard slog of swooping up all the prizes
(though with a status just as hollow–
but better a cool kid than a geek!)


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And in little piles lay
old mobile phones (wasn’t there was a charity
which recycled them) and old laptops, ditto,
and coins in currencies no longer legal tender,
and gold watches which merely needed a new battery.

And in the kitchen,
the counters were cluttered–
visual stress, visual stress–
because the cabinets had ice cream makers and fondue sets,
and candyfloss makers and chocolate fountains,
and the shelves were cluttered with
low fat cookbooks and French cookbooks,
and dessert cookbooks and Weight Watchers
and barbecue and vegetarian and Atkins cookbooks,
and Indian, Thai, Chinese and Italian.

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And then, just when you were nearly organized
Christmas came,
With sweaters and books and toys and games,
There was simply no room to store

image7

 

And if after a dozen “We must have you overs,”
you finally did,
you felt you should produce a meal worthy
of this protracted invitation,
and where did you find the energy to do that?

And guests meant stress,
stuffing stuff into closets
from which the stuffing fell out if they were opened,

And one couldn’t put them in the garage
Which was cluttered with mulchers and jigsaws
and strimmers and shredders and mowers.

And at the end, just before your guests came,
you could never find anything to wear
because clothes, outgrown, or too expensive
to just give away, or too worn and stained to give away,
but not worn and stained enough to toss
cluttered the closets so that
the elegant clothes could never be found,
and you felt that you had simply nothing to wear
and so bought some more, which were somewhere,
(but where?) And were always late while you extricated
Something which matched from your disorganized abundance.

*  *  *

 

image8

 

 *  *  *

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Mrs. Hadenough had had enough and more than enough.
Her big house with its crystal and chandeliers and cuckoo clocks;
its antique furniture, original paintings,
Pietre dure marble chests,
Murano paperweights and vases
brought her no peace,
but ruined her rest–
just brought her stress,
because it was simply too much.

And when she went to her women’s Bible study,
her friends talked about things–
things on sale, things on Freecycle,
things they had bought, or wanted to buy,
and how busy and overwhelmed they were,
sorting out their houses full of things,
trying to make time to take them to the charity shops
to make room for more things,
and about where to find nifty little organizing boxes,
clothes boxes, tool boxes and craft boxes to store
the simply too many things.

And then she read what the native Americans
of the Pacific Northwest did
when they had simply too much.

They had a potlatch,
grandly sharing their amassed possessions,
and then resumed their simple happy lives,
tidepooling on the Oregon Coast,
enjoying salmon, oysters, mussels and crab.

But how does one have a potlatch
like the North American Indians?

image10

And in the bulletin, that Sunday,
she put an announcement
about a kitchen gadget exchange.

The next Sunday, along with the tithe
each family was to bring something
they never used: cappuccino makers
and coffee grinders, in newly decaffeinated families;
yoghurt makers, omelette pans, electric spice graters,
asparagus or fish steamers to give and to take.

And when after the service, impatient queues formed,
she was sad to spot the acquisitive eyes of the hunter,
when what she wanted to learn and to teach was
that it is in giving that we receive.
she suggested that to force themselves to become givers,
people first offer each item they really wanted
to a couple of others before accepting it.

 

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And so, in a spirit of jollity, people offered
each other good gifts, so that everyone
who, in a moment of folly,
had bought a ravioli maker or an oyster shucker
could now give to those who always had wanted
a ravioli maker or an oyster shucker,
until they too passed it on.

And so everyone went home with something
They really wanted out of the community’s abundance.

And then it was the turn of books.
Those who had bought Money, Sex and Power,
The Freedom of Simplicity
, The Mustard Seed Conspiracy,
Or Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, but realized that
That they made being simple no easier
but being complex a guiltier undertaking
put them on the table, so that those who instinctively
began a new undertaking by reading a book
could now get them for free.

And everyone went home smiling,
as they did on DVD Sunday.

image12

And outgrown toys were shared,
so that every child had fascinating things to play with,
until they outgrew them,
and then they swapped.

And lovely expensive clothes
which no longer fitted
could be swished with other people:
cashmere sweaters in the wrong colour
or just a little too tight or too loose
and so when one’s style changed
and one began to dress up or down or bright or old,
the change could bless to someone else.

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And so each Sunday, the congregation brought
a designated item along with the tithe,
blessing each other with their surplus,
and the church rented a storehouse for what wasn’t taken.

And soon, people got rid of
A shirt saved for when they painted,
or scruffy shoes to wear if they gardened,
or the Christian book you’d read when you had time,
because you could always pick one up from the storehouse.

And people began to go to the church’s storehouse first,
instead of the stores, thereby boosting their budgets,
and eventually everyone had everything they really needed
and donated the rest to the storehouse,
decluttering until everything in their houses
was both beautiful and useful.

 

image14

”If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”William Morris

 

And once a month, the doors of the storehouse
were opened to the community.
you could bring your surplus, or take
other people’s, no strings or questions,
so that the church became known as The Giving Church

And because there was always the storehouse,
where in lean seasons, you could get the beans,
quinoa, amaranth and orzo your friends had bought
in fits of healthfulness, but never ever cooked,
or the electric saw or strimmer you needed once a year,
people no longer held onto everything
for fear they might one day need it,
or worried about their budgets quite so much
because in a pinch, you could get stationery,
clothes and food—most things you needed–from the storehouse.

And there were no poor among them.

And in the newly sleek houses,
hours of maintenance were released
and people entertained their friends,

 

image15

Consider the Lilies

And once letting go became a habit,
people discovered to their surprise
that they were valued for the content of their characters,
that people actually liked them
even when they no longer subtly showed off
about what they had or did.

And then, having happily shed so much,
they decided to shed a little more,
and Mrs Shortnplump forgave Mrs Tallnthin
who had manipulated the Bible study they co-led
out of her dreamy hands with Machiavellian  whispers,
and back-stabbing worthy of a presidential campaign.
Mrs Tallandthin had won that power struggle,
and she had lost.
And so what?
In the Upside Kingdom, schemers and manipulators
did not inherit the reward of the meek,
and those who lost the world might gain their soul,
and, in mysterious ways, inherit the world besides.
And Mrs Brown forgave Mrs Black who, working
the vicar’s wife and everyone else, swiped the leadership
Of the Friday women’s coffee group
(in formally known as sit and bitch)
from her.  And so what?
And Mr Doeverything decided that since he came home
at nine, after his children were in bed, he really
did not need to run the building programme too,
that he could shed his campaign to be Someone Very
Important in the very small world of the church
and instead spend his time with those he really loved.

And Mr. Ineverypie who was away from home for about 99 days
each year, swallowed his pride, and resigned as Chair
of the Development Committee, letting go of the fear
that no one would know who he was, if he were not always
onstage (oh, they did, they did, they surely did!) and instead
rediscovered his delight in his wife
and littlest minx, whom he adored,
when he let his eyes linger on her.

And following their lead,
those who were ambitious to strut their stuff
slowly grew willing to wait for the “Friend, Come Higher,”
trusting their PR to God,
never seeking, never refusing, a position of greater influence.

And the church was no longer a seven storey mountain,
of social ascent, and when they got together
people no longer reserved their warmest smiles
and shiniest manners for those at the top of the ant-heap,
as if one could absorb significance by association.


“He that is down needs fear no fall;
He that is low, no pride;
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.

image16

In The Valley of Humiliation, a man shall be free from the noise and from the hurryings of this life.  All states are full of noise and confusion, only the Valley of Humiliation is that empty and solitary place. Here a man shall not be so let and hindered in this contemplation as in other places he is apt to be.  This is a valley that no one walks in, but those that love a pilgrim’s life.  I must tell you that in former times men have met with angels here, have found pearls here, and have in this place found the words of life. John Bunyan, Pilgrim’s Progress


They surrendered their longing to belong to
the church’s inner circle: Those who knew who
was who, and what had happened,
was happening, and would happen,
and instead hung out with those they really liked,
and so in time formed their own inner circles,
not necessarily important ones in the eyes of the church
but just people who enjoyed being with each other.

And so everyone looked forward to social gatherings,
even fund-raisers, for they would get to relax
with those they loved being with,
Instead of seeking out those
More important than themselves
Who, in turn, looked restlessly around, scanning the crowd,
For someone still more important.

 

image17
    I believe that in all men’s lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside.  

    The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it.

   And if in your spare time you consort simply with the people you like, you will again find that you have come unawares to a real inside: that you are indeed snug and safe at the centre of something which, seen from without, would look exactly like an Inner Ring. But the difference is that it is only four or five people who like one another meeting to do things that they like. This is friendship. Aristotle placed it among the virtues. It causes perhaps half of all the happiness in the world, and no Inner Ringer can ever have it.                                           The Inner Ring by C.S. Lewis

.
And when the church decided to close the storehouse,
because fewer and fewer people visited it,
since all had all they needed and had given away
all they did not, so that everything left in their houses
was both beautiful and useful,
people did not even notice,
for they now lived in the new way
of Content.

image18

Letting go, letting go,
of everything they no longer needed,
blessing others with it,
and, in turn, being blessed
in the mysterious divine economy
no economist can fathom.

Letting go
of old grievances,
chucking people into the waterfall of grace,
letting God deal with them,
letting go of the desire to be a big deal,
accepting that they belonged to a Kingdom
which already had a King.

image19

 


Pressing on, pressing on,
to know God more,
to love God more, and
to love people more.

And they were known as Christians by their love.

 

image20

If you or a friend would like to have this as a book, it is available on Amazon.com here and on Amazon.co.uk here.

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus Tagged With: decluttering, domesticity, housework, Simplicity, the pearl of great price

Jesus, Positive Thinking, and Mental Health

By Anita Mathias

Lion Waterfall 2 Print By Keith Lovejoy

Mental health, like physical health, is on a continuum. When someone totally loses it, and is obviously “mad” enough to be sectioned, we say they’ve lost touch with reality.

But how few of us see reality as it really is.  With a God’s eye view. As Jesus taught us to see it.

If we could train ourselves to see and think the way Jesus taught us to, what splendid mental health we’d have!!

* * *

Jesus’s teaching was strikingly positive. And here are a few ways I am trying to train myself to think the way Jesus taught us to. And better mental health will be a fringe benefit of this.

1 He taught us not to be afraid.

“Do not be afraid,” echoes through the Gospels. Most of our fears never come to pass. And even when our anxious minds help produce the very thing we most dread, God’s help is available to help us deal with it.

There is a difference between prudence (adjusting one’s actions because an adverse outcome is very probable), and fear: irrational dread!

2 Jesus told us not to worry about anything at all.

What a splendid recipe for mental health, freeing us from circular and literally sickening worry. Worry is particularly unproductive, because most of our worries (like most of our fears) don’t come to pass, and, again, God’s help is available in our worst case scenarios.

3 Jesus advises us not to judge.

Judging is like deciding on 360 degrees of someone’s personality based on 10 degrees of information. It leads to a shrivelling of the heart, of emotional intelligence, and of our life-experience because of the habit of rapidly writing people off.

And when in obedience to Jesus, we refuse to judge, but instead remain open, we learn, we learn, we learn!

4 Another startling bit of advice Jesus gives is forgiving if you have aught against any. How sweeping.

When specific grievances surface in my conscious mind, I attempt to dissolve them by thanking God for the good things about the person, by praying for the person as whole-heartedly as I can, and by praying for grace to turn the acid and claws of my feelings towards that person into sweetness.

Any hatred–towards nations, for instance–is as harmful to our mental and emotional health as hated of individuals. I recently talked to a Christian man who was consumed, to the point of mild insanity, with his hatred of the US and the harm its foreign policy has done. Releasing aught against any would require him to release his hatred of the US—not for the sake of the US, but for his own sake.

I similarly know two American Christian men who are consumed by their hatred and dislike of Barack Obama. Gosh, I have never witnessed such hatred towards a politician as many American Christian nurture towards Obama.   If I hated Obama as much as these two friends of mine appear to, I would need to “forgive” him before I stood praying to keep the waterfall of grace between me and God flowing and unclogged.

Far-fetched? I remember Catherine Marshall saying she had to forgive Henry VIII for his desecration of monasteries as part of her releasing aught against any.

5 Another instruction of Jesus which is greatly conducive to mental health is “Do not let your hearts be troubled; neither let them be afraid. Trust in the Father, trust also in me.”

* * *

So many of Paul’s precepts are about following Christ in the secret place of the thoughts.

Rejoice always; in everything give thanks. Believe everything works out for good.

Paul’s life was full of extreme pressures—both glorious preaching, miracles and influence, and imprisonment, solitary confinement, floggings, slander, and disgrace.

The mental health and strength he cultivated in the secret places of his heart kept him sane, productive and creative in the very direst places of his life, such as the dreadful Mamertine Dungeon from which he wrote his most joyful and inspiring letters.

Ah, obeying what Jesus taught us as literally as we can! Mental health flows from it, and creativity too!

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus Tagged With: following Jesus, forgiveness, mental health, not worrying, Physical health, Trust

John Wesley’s Cry: Let’s Stand Apart from a Generation of Triflers

By Anita Mathias

Here is John Wesley’s scathing last sermon to the University of Oxford
“So many of you are a generation of triflers; triflers with God, with one another, and with your own souls? For, how few of you spend, from one week to another, a single hour in private prayer! How few have any thought of God in the general tenor of your conversation! Who of you is in any degree acquainted with the work of his Spirit, his supernatural work in the souls of men? Can you bear, unless now and then in a church, any talk of the Holy Ghost? Would you not take it for granted, if one began such a conversation, that it was hypocrisy? In the name of the Lord God Almighty, I ask, what religion are you of? Even the talk of Christianity, ye cannot, will not bear. O my brethren, what a Christian city is this!
I have just attended a very interesting talk on Wesley and Whitfield in a Summer School I am attending at the Wycliffe College, Oxford University, on the Christian history of Oxford.
Wesley began to be a serious Christian at the age of 22 after reading The Imitation of Christ. He writes, “I began to see that true religion was seated in the heart and that God’s law extended to all our thoughts as well as words and actions. I began to set in earnest upon a new life.
I executed a resolution which I was convinced was of the utmost importance, shaking off at once all my trifling acquaintance, I began to see more and more the value of time.I applied myself closer to study.”Similarly, when Whitfield was converted, he writes that he “put off all trifling conversation, put all trifling books away, and was determined to study to be a saint, and then to be a scholar.”
I love reading about the effects of people’s conversions, and I love the new seriousness which infected Wesley after his conversion. He shakes off all relationships which are trivial and “trifling,”-insignificant. He values his time. He applies himself to study.
It is as if in taking God seriously, he has begun to take himself seriously. In fact, beginning to read is a not infrequent effect of conversion.
Trifler is not a word one hears in England, but when I lived in the American South, older people would call a slight, trivial, unserious person, “a trifling person.” Funny how words persist across the Atlantic, which have died out here.
Wesley greatly stressed reading for Christians. Without reading, your knowledge of God, your fellow men, the spiritual life, Christian history, the Bible and theology will be limited to your own experience and conversations. If you read however, within a couple of hours you are enriched by, possibly, decades of someone else’s thinking, study and experience.
Here’s Wesley scolding a minister who would not read,
What has exceedingly hurt you in time past, nay, and I fear to this day, is want of reading.
I scarce ever knew a preacher read so little. And perhaps, by neglecting it, you have lost the taste for it. Hence your talent in preaching does not increase. It is just the same as it was seven years ago. It is lively, but not deep; there is little variety, there is no compass of thought. Reading only can supply this, with meditation and daily prayer. You wrong yourself greatly by omitting this. You can never be a deep preacher without it, any more than a thorough Christian.
O begin! Fix some part of every day for private exercises. You may acquire the taste which you have not: what is tedious at first, will afterwards be pleasant.
Whether you like it or not, read and pray daily. It is for your life; there is no other way; else you will be a trifler all your days, and a petty, superficial preacher. Do justice to your own soul; give it time and means to grow. Do not starve yourself any longer. Take up your cross and be a Christian altogether. 
·      * *
I wrote yesterday about deciding to take up my calling as a writer with new seriousness. And I guess that means saying goodbye to trifling. Goodbye to spending time on what Wesley calls “trifling acquaintance” and trifling pursuits. Instead, facing my life with a new seriousness and focus which will spring I hope from abiding in Christ.
Ah, a new gauge for whether I read a book, watch a movie, embark on this recreation or social activity. Is it “trifling?” If so, is there a better use of my time—and life?
So help me, God!!

Filed Under: In Which I celebrate Church History and Great Christians, In which I decide to follow Jesus

Prepare Straight Paths for the Lord!

By Anita Mathias

Prepare Straight Paths for the Lord.
I am re-reading The Gospel of Mark which starts, well, startlingly
“a voice of one calling in the wilderness,
‘Prepare the way for the Lord,
    make straight paths for him.’”[d]
How does one prepare straight paths for the Lord?
                                                * * *
And therein lies the beauty and richness of Scripture—the answer varies according to gender, culture, and historic period. It varies according to the seasons in our lives. This is what I thought last year.
For me, the answer today is “Pace yourself. Slow down.”
Christians (perhaps particularly those who have had an experience of the Holy Spirit, like my first one, though of course, the Holy Spirit respects no templates, see Gordon Fee’s experience) have the Holy Spirit within us, “a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
A spring is an apt metaphor. It can get clogged with rubbish and debris. Do you remember Marcel Pagnol’s beautiful Manon of the Spring, in which the idealistic young would-be farmer’s farm is desertified and fails because of the spring blocked by concrete by those who wanted his land?
Busyness does that for me. Chokes up the springs of the spiritual life—of thankfulness, of seeing God in little things, of clear thinking, of joy.
Sometimes, I go on a prayer walk, and I think, “This hardly qualifies as prayer. My thoughts are a racing, incoherent jumble.” So I credit the intention to pray as prayer, and walk, slowly calming down, my thoughts slowing down.
And then, as if from a secret spring within me, I find myself praying in tongues, and joy begins to seep up, and calm and surrender.
And all this would have been forfeited if I hadn’t stopped to slow down.
·      * * *
This has been an exceptionally busy half-term—daily blogging; writing a chapter in a book; meeting a number of blog readers and fellow bloggers; leading two sessions of our small group; hosting a complex sleepover in tents for Irene’s 13th birthday; the whirl of social life—garden parties and barbeques which step up in England when the weather is supposed to be good; a major purchase (a camper van!); and of course the usual busyness of motherhood, domesticity and keeping up the wildly growing garden!!
Funny, when I am doing too much, even lovely things–and most of my busy things this month were lovely–I enjoy them less. I guess it’s like when I upgraded to buying relatively expensive but ridiculously comfortable shoes, or luxurious cashmere sweaters or “Tiffany” lamps. The first purchase delighted me, but each successive one brought less joy, became more ho-hum.
So I guess I will have to go back to pacing my social life to two intense lunches or coffees or dinners with friends per week. For deep conversation sparks my creativity and brings joy. Less than that, and I begin to get a bit bored and restless with just family and writing. More than that is distracting, and eventually I begin to enjoy everything a little bit less.
To say no to good things to focus on the best things is a lesson I have been trying to learn for years, with many, many failures. But I am still alive and so capable of learning–so I am going to add it to the  long-term projects—the long trudging in the same direction– which I am persisting in, despite many failures.
And these include
1)   A house in which everything is both beautiful and useful and in which everything is in the right place
2)   Physical health, strength and endurance, and shedding some of my toxin-storing extra pounds. Relatively healthy eating.
3)   A disciplined schedule which has time for much reading and much writing.
4)   A permaculture garden, full of perennial fruit and vegetables and flowers.
These are all long-term projects and commitments, in which a failure is like stepping off the trail for a brief meander. Not final, not a disaster. Since I have unshakeably committed to these long-term Inca Trails, after a little dalliance in the fields of weak resolve, I just “strengthen my feeble arms and weak knees” (Heb 12:12) and persist.
A slow pace of life opens the door for the Holy Spirit. You are, of course, far more likely to be able to sense the presence of God in a slow, quiet day than an over-scheduled one.
As A-type personalities, naturally driven and intense, who are trying to slow down our pulses, schedules and lives, Roy and I frequently need to remind ourselves and each other to slow down enough to make straight pathways for the Lord to our restless, busy hearts.
How about you? What is the best way you’ve found to make straight paths for the Lord?

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus, In which I play in the fields of prayer

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  • Christ’s Great Golden Triad to Guide Our Actions and Decisions
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anita.mathias

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Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Looking at photos from our week in beautiful Sevil Looking at photos from our week in beautiful Seville and Cordoba over New Year with Irene, who had a week off.
And, ICYMI, here’s my latest meditation on the Gospel of Matthew… I’ve recorded it, should you want a few minutes of peace.
https://anitamathias.com/2026/04/29/gods-complete-forgiveness/
Hello Friends, I'm resumed recording my meditation Hello Friends, I'm resumed recording my meditations on the Gospel of Matthew. Do click on this link to listen. 
https://anitamathias.com/.../29/gods-complete-forgiveness/
Christ is the most influential figure in the history of the world, though his life ended in shame, humiliation and failure. But he so completely turned things round in his great reversal that the cross on which he died when all seemed hopeless is now the most common, and revered, symbol in history.
He emerged from and was anchored in Judaism. And as the sins of the people were laid on the scapegoat who was sent into the wilderness to perish, Christ died as the lamb of God voluntarily bearing the guilt of the wrongdoing of the whole world. He paid the price for our forgiveness with his life-blood--in accordance with the iron law of the physical and moral universe, of sowing and reaping, cause and effect. 
And so, God, who appeared as flames of fire to Moses, can now dwell within us, purifying us, whose hearts have darkness and shards of ice. 
And now that Christ was crucified, died, but rose again, His Spirit, no longer contained within his earthly body, is poured out like living water onto all humans, at our humble request. The Spirit pours the love of God into us; he reminds us of the words of Jesus and slowly writes Christ’s sweet law on our hearts. This transfusion of grace helps us do hard things we previously couldn’t do. Our dance with the Spirit gradually breaks the power of sin over us. It transforms us.
Now we, the forgiven, protected by the blood of Jesus poured out over us, and filled with His Spirit, who sings within us, Abba, Father, are adopted by God as his children in his joyful new covenant. We are cells grafted into the vine of our new family--Father, Son, Spirit—who now live in us as we live in them. As we choose by our thoughts and actions to continue living in the vine of Jesus, their energy pulsing through us makes us fruitful. And now, all our prayers which flow in the river of God’s good purposes are kindly heard. Waves of love and power flood from the cross! 
Thank you!
Well, hello friends! Breaking radio silence to let Well, hello friends! Breaking radio silence to let you know that I have taped a meditation for you on Christ’s famous Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25. https://anitamathias.com/2025/11/05/using-gods-gift-of-our-talents-a-path-to-joy-and-abundance/
Here you are, click the play button in the blog post for a brief meditation, and some moments of peace, and, perhaps, inspiration in your day 🙂
Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
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