Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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How Can a Christian Blogger keep Fresh and Green Without Burnout?

By Anita Mathias

Image Credit

Friends from America mentioned that they no longer attend the Williamsburg, Virginia Church that we’d met them at.

The preacher had a knack of cutting to the heart of the matter, of looking at the things Jesus said in a new, startling way.

“Oh, why did you leave,” I asked surprised.

“Well, after listening to him for ten years, you’ve heard it all. Then it’s just repetition.” Oooh.

* * *

Christian bloggers set themselves the same task as preachers do, sharing spiritual truth on a daily basis. “It’s like writing a short sermon every day,” a vicar friend said of my blog, in some awe.

And how then can a blogger keep her writing fresh, when those who speak just once a week find not repeating themselves challenging?

* * *

1 First of all, accept there is no shame in repeating yourself.  We are not celebrities who, apparently, wear an outfit once only, so much so that Kate Middleton, interestingly, has been praised for repeating outfits.

We do not need to generate 3650 fresh ideas every ten years. And besides, who needs 3650 new ideas?

My readership has increased ten-fold over the last three years which means that nine out of ten readers will not have read the posts from 3-4 years ago. If I think the same thing today, there is no shame in revising, developing (or, often, contracting) an old post, and resharing it, if it can be more of a blessing that way than loitering in my archive.

Writing entirely new stuff every day while good posts moulder unread in one’s archive makes sense if ideas well up naturally. However, the archive is good to root around in on tired and busy days.

* * *

However, since my blog is a reflection of my spiritual life, I would like it to be fresh and green. Some other ways to bring this about.

2 Reading “Leaders read, and readers lead.” Reading about other’s people’s adventures in the holy wilds of the spiritual life makes me aware of heights and depths of spiritual experience which I have not explored—the possibilities of prayer, of transformation of the deep structure of the personality.

3 Suffering pushes us deep into God. When we are writhing in emotional pain, other people’s platitudes won’t do.  We need to find our own truth, our own comfort.

Times of suffering can result in losing faith–or, alternatively, faith can become deeper, more real and life-giving.

(I think, given a choice, I’ll stick with reading rather than suffering!)

4 I am enjoying listening to swathes of Scripture as I walk. I am learning a lot about God, what He is like, what He values, how life works, and how to live life well. Several posts spring from this. The Gospels themselves with Jesus’s slant perspective on life never fail to challenge me.

5 Travel opens up new ideas, new experiences. As Mark Batterson says in The Circle Maker, Change of Pace + Change of Place= Change of Perspective.

I learn the history of another region, and a little about its great men and women, its religion, art and architecture. Travel provides numerous new ideas to explore on one’s return. And blog posts inevitably flow.

6 Prayer, placing myself in the force-field of God, invariably generates new thoughts, ideas and blog posts.

7 As do deep conversations, plunging into other people’s lives, thoughts and experiences.

What do you think? How might a blogger keep fresh and green, producing new posts without burn-out?

Filed Under: In which I explore writing and blogging and creativity, Writing and Blogging Tagged With: blogging, Conversation, scripture, Travel, Use of Archives

Seed the Clouds, Oh Lord. Make it Rain

By Anita Mathias

cloud_mass

Clouds are seeded with silver iodide

And dry ice to make it rain.

 

I have no silver iodide, Lord,

To move the clouds over my life.

 

I cannot change my heart

And make it more loving.

 

I cannot baptise my imagination into creativity.

I cannot force story ideas.

 

I cannot write so to speak to people.

That is a gift you give.

 

I cannot make myself love foods that bless my body

Or love the movement that does so.

 

I cannot change my heart

and make myself love you more.

 

But you can do all these things.

So please do.

 

Seed the clouds over my life

By your power which created the universe.

 

Make it rain.

Thank you.

 

 Image Credit

 

Filed Under: In which I play in the fields of poetry, In which I play in the fields of prayer Tagged With: dunamis, Prayer, seeding clouds

Images and Magic Moments  from my trip to Cambodia with Tearfund

By Anita Mathias

Meeting Sambath. “She’s a woman, but works like a man,” the Tearfund worker said–keeping her family going, growing watermelons and rice on  unused strips of land she rents from neighbours who work in Phomh-Penh’s garment factories.

I watched her give a bag of fresh grown rice (which I had never seen before!) to the Tearfund worker, refuse payment, but say, “If you like it, in future, don’t buy from the market, buy from me,” and photographed the conversation, three Asian women all comfortably squatting on the ground, in a way I am now too stiff to contemplate, companionably talking, keeping their clothes clean.

sambath

Sambath invited us to her house: a trek down narrow dirt paths to a house built on stilts (because waters rise in the rainy season and there are floods).

I loved being there, following the flock of chicks around, looking at the eggs and the brooding hens.

chickens_2

* * *

Cambodians are possibly the slimmest, lithest people in the world. Most women seemed to weigh less than 100 pounds, men too! We clambered onto a lengthy makeshift bridge made of palm trees cut in half to floating platforms: picnic spots.   I tried, but felt anxious at the thought of falling in the dirty water of Tonle Batie Lake to the accompaniment of the laughter of the picnicking Cambodians (whose default reaction to anything out of the ordinary is to laugh).

And so I sat on the steps facing the lake, with a 21 year old Cambodian Tearfund volunteer, and chatted in English. He told me about his dream of owning a rice factory and how he was saving for it. It cost USD $8000, he reckoned. He asked me several times to pray that he’d achieve his dream.

I simply could not see how this sweet young man could compete in business in a corrupt country, in which rice, the staple food, is probably controlled by conglomerates; however, my husband and I are dreamy unworldly people and we have managed to run a successful small business. God gave and continues to give me the ideas I need, step by step, and there is no reason that he would not give them to M.

That was another magic moment for me, sitting there, facing Tonle Batie Lake, swapping life stories and sharing precious dreams across a divide of race, gender, decades, culture, and profession, human sympathy a bridge, like the bridges to the floating shelters.

* * *

Cruising at sunset down the Mekong on fire, totally a magic moment.

* * *

Ta Promh, an atmospheric ruined 12th century temple in Tonle Batie, fascinating, a bit like the spooky ruined Greek temples I saw in Greece—and, oddly, in Sicily too.

* * *

A day in Bangkok on the way, visiting an impossibly over-decorated Buddhist temple.

Buddha and his feet

* * *

The Royal Palace in Phomh-Penh. Cambodian Flora.

* * *

The Cambodians themselves, especially the smiley helpful Tearfund workers. I loved Kagne, the Tearfund worker who accompanied us. Cambodians have a natural restraint and dignity and effortless good manners and courtesy I found very attractive and winsome.

* * *

* * *

Attempting to dig a field with a bunch of Christian Cambodians. Discovering that I lack all talent for digging.

* * *

Cambodian children, naturally smiley—as children are everywhere once detached from electronics.

* * *

I enjoyed (and was a bit amused by) the Tonle Batie Church, church in an agrarian economy, most unlike mine, St. Andrew’s, Oxford. There was a community pig. Flock of community chickens wandered around. Chillis , tomatoes and peppers were grown on spare bits of land. English lessons took place in the church hall, and the worship was rousing and charismatic!

Here is a section of my piece for Christian Today.

“Blogging for Tearfund in Cambodia was an honour – which I mean quite literally.

I felt honoured to enter Cambodian homes, and step over the threshold into their lives. I felt honoured to meet people who with great dignity, resilience and self-reliance earn their living by gathering wood from the forest, trapping fish in Tonle Batie Lake, raising pigs and growing their own rice.

I like Tearfund’s Umoja model of development, particularly asking people their dreams. Being asked to dream introduces hope and possibility into a life. Umoja then encourages people to look at resources they do have; apparently most begin by saying they do not have any.

Encouraged to think outside the box, Mechyan, an elderly HIV positive widow who lived on church land, grew chillies and basil in old mesh rice bags and made powder to sell from the nutritious moringa trees growing wild on the property.

Vanny created a worm farm from cow dung to feed his chickens and aerate his vegetable garden and Yiv Toch taught others how to raise chickens. It’s the parable of the talents in action: use the little you have to gain more.

As an Umoja facilitator told us, Jesus did feed 5,000, but he took people’s five loaves and two fish to do it with. Their very own Umoja project!

I feel my heart, mind and imagination have been stretched by meeting people from a different culture, who make their living in difficult circumstances, in a country without welfare or a social safety net, but with great optimism, cheerfulness and diligence.

When I hit roadblocks which frustrate me, I will remember the Cambodian Tearfund office workers who bought us dongles to help our laptops work anywhere in Cambodia. They worked on configuring the unfamiliar laptops for well over an hour till each of them worked with the dongles, (a task which frustrates us whenever we travel) and similarly worked with our latest model iPhones until they got Cambodian SIMs to work in them, cutting the SIMs down to size, doggedly persisting until they were successful.

How easily I permit technology and the unfamiliar to baffle me, and how much can be accomplished by the calm persistence, confidence and self-reliance I saw everywhere in Cambodia.”

* * *

Okay, it was my first attempt at raising funds for a good cause—though it will not be my last.

Sadly, we haven’t reached our fund-raising goal. Our target was to raise 60 new supporters for Tearfund who would commit to giving £3 a month. This money will go towards encouraging self-sufficiency in Cambodia through the Umoja project. We’ve reached 48.

Will you be one of the those 12 people? If you would like to support Tearfund here, (sign up on the top left-hand corner), I would like to offer you a gift.

Let me know when you have done so by emailing me at anitaATanitamathiasDOTcom and I will send you the ebook of my four books, AND…

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays in Faith and Art traces my life, my struggles, and the evolution of my faith in essays. It deals with dichotomies—East and West, Writing and Prayer, Domesticities and Art, Roots and Wings, along with my conversion narrative and an account of working with Mother Teresa.

Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

which has sold the best of all my books, is a children’s book, dealing with art, Florence, The Renaissance, beauty, good-heartedness, weakness, and the importance of forgiving oneself.

The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth is a reflection on that Beatitude, theological writing for everywoman.

The Church That Had Too Much is an odd book, the record of a dream; I found myself writing it in the shape and rhythms of poetry.

AND a fifth one shall be sent to you when it is finished…a free e-book of my newest book, still in process “A Handbook of Christian Writing.” It is both practical and spiritual!

Thank you!

Filed Under: In which I Travel and Dream Tagged With: #TFBloggers, Bangkok, Cambodia, Pnomh-Penh, Tearfund, Umoja

The Secret of Accessing God’s Power in our Daily Lives

By Anita Mathias

2-phoenix

The phoenix, which rose out of the ashes of his old body, is a symbol of Christ in traditional iconography.

It could also be a symbol of the power of prayer. Numerous times in my life, when I have been stuck, prayer–-intense, deep, desperate prayer–-has changed my circumstances. Has reversed the plot.

It is, in fact, a pattern seen throughout the Old Testament. God’s people sin; they descend into despair. And then we read the magical words, Nehemiah–or whoever–prayed to the Lord God of Heaven and Earth. 

And things turn around!!
                                                                                                                                  * * *

Hitting rock bottom–when we find ourselves utterly unable to continue in our own power– can precipitate change. We’ve done the self-reliance bit. We’ve failed. Over to you, Lord!

Turning to God in our desperation because we have no other resources somehow  accelerates his intervention in our lives, and,   paradoxically, releases a flood of grace and power.

John Wimber, founder of the Vineyard, describes a night in his Detroit hotel room when he was exhausted and depressed from continual travel. And he hears God tell him, “John, I’ve seen YOUR ministry (and frankly I’m not that impressed) but now I would like to show you MINE!”

From his failure and brokenness sprung a new reliance on Christ, and “signs and wonders” and the founding of the Vineyard, which revived the English church too, via David Pytches of St. Andrew’s, Chorleywood.

                  * * *

Dick Woodward, the pastor emeritus of Williamsburg Community Chapel, my old church in America, attributes a sea-change in his ministry to a moment when he hit rock bottom. His wife was bed-bound, and he was looking after 4 children, simultaneously changing two in nappies, when the phone rang. A long-winded parishioner.

When he finally got off, he cried out, “Lord, I can’t.” And he felt God say, “I have been waiting a long time to hear you say that. Let me tell you a remarkable secret. I can.”

From that sprang a worldwide teaching ministry, as Woodward learnt to live in the vine, in the waterfall of God’s power. He calls this the four spiritual secrets.

I’m not, but He is.
And I am in Him, and He is in me.

I can’t, but He can.

And I am in Him, and He is in me.

I don’t want to, but He wants to.

And I am in Him, and He is in me.

I didn’t, but He did.
Because I was in Him and He was in me.

* * *

I think of Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret, which was essentially the same: do not strive for faithfulness, lean on the faithful one.

 I am reading an interesting book called They Found the Secret. The reason spiritual secrets remain secret is that they cannot be grasped by the mind or intelligence, but only by the heart.

And, like the fairy godmother of fairy tales who appeared when the need was desperate, we only crack the secret of accessing God’s power when we are desperate to do so.  When our ability to do life on our own has failed us.

* * *

 I struggled to surrender my writing to God in my thirties when my children were little.

Ironically, I now realise that that was the best time to surrender my writing to God because working with stress and feeling things are against you is the worst way to write, and my writing would have gone better if I was relaxed and had surrendered it to God, and worked as God provided time…

I would surrender it, and then, sort of take it back, fretting about the distractions of my life, my low energy, and the lack of domestic help from my husband. Not the best frame of mind for creative work.

And then when I started a business, writing became impossible, and for four years, I did not write at all!!

* * *

Now surrendering my writing to God or not is not an issue.

I don’t know any way to write other than peacefully in the waterfall of God, trusting him for strength and energy, trusting God for words.

The LORD said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Exodus 4.

And, through my blog, my writing is reaching vastly more people than ever before.

* * *

How to work enabled by God’s power?

Here’s what works for me:

1 Repent. If anything you are doing is a major roadblock to experiencing the flow of God’s love and power in your life—and such a thing may quickly come to mind—repent.

2 Ask him for his power and grace to flow through you.

Visualizing myself in the river, a molecule in the vine of God, helps.

3 Total surrender. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine (John 17:10) Jesus said. Giving God our day, accepting what comes as from his hands, somehow helps us to access all that He has, his riches.

 

Filed Under: In which I just keep Trusting the Lord, In which I Pursue Personal Transformation or Sanctification, In which I resolve to live by faith Tagged With: Accessing God's power, Dick Woodward, Four Spiritual Secrets, John Wimber, The Power of Helplessness, the secrets of the vine, trusting God

In Which Jesus Gives Us A New Name And A New Character

By Anita Mathias

category image

 To the one who is victorious, I will also give a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. Revelation 2:17

And so, we heave up our cross,

And follow him,

Oh, not spectacularly at all.

Dropping it,

Meandering off course,

Sometimes forgetting we had resolved

To take up our cross,

And follow him.

 

But each time we remember,

We apologize,

And pick up that old rugged cross,

And follow after Jesus again.

 

And Jesus sees.

 

For that is one of his names,

El Roi, the God who sees.

 

Where others see our failures

Jesus sees also,

How much further we would have slipped

Had we not clung to him

* * *

And somehow through the decades,

We change.

 

We are different.
Though still so acutely aware of,

So sad about our failures.

* * *

And then one day,

We meet him,

And he gently opens our palms

And places in them a stone

With our new names.

 

And I read, tearfully:

The prudent one

The discreet one

The wise one

The self-controlled one

The kind one

The diligent one

The consistent and persevering one

The financially gifted one

 

And I say, “Jesus!

I think you’ve given me someone else’s stone.”

 

And he says,

“Though decades of following me,

Though you did not notice it,

You’ve changed.”

 

“But I always saw what you would become.

Welcome home!”

Filed Under: In which I decide to follow Jesus Tagged With: Following Christ, Revelation, sanctification, transformation

Lucy Mills on her New Book, “Forgetful Heart,” and her Writing and Publishing Journey

By Anita Mathias

Forgetful_Heart

Lucy Mills has just published her first book, Forgetful Heart: Remembering God in a Distracted World (Darton, Longman and Todd) available on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com.

I ask Lucy a few questions about her book

What inspired your book?

There was no ‘one thing’ – at least not that I can remember (!)

I was aware of my own forgetfulness. My cluttered, distracted mind often results in silly mistakes, side-tracked intentions and confused moments.

I was coming out of a difficult patch in my life and faith and trying to re-orientate myself. I’d been reading through the Old Testament, and been struck how, particularly in Deuteronomy, God’s people are often called to remember him – not to forget all God had done for them.

I’d been feeling frustrated that things I’d learned in the past had slipped away from me. I’d studied for a degree in theology, which I loved – and it distressed me how the things I’d engaged with so passionately had then retreated somewhere in the dusty recesses of my mind.

But above all, I found I was forgetting the moments of profound revelation, the God-touches in my life. Instead of retelling my stories, I was allowing them to decay until the plot was hard to find.

I’d had ideas for books before, but none that took hold of me in quite this way. The book was part of my own journey, my own quest for remembering.

I ask the question: what does it mean to remember God in my life? If what I remember is essential to my identity, what am I choosing to dwell on day by day? Tell us about your writing journey

I struggled many years with a love-hate relationship with writing.

Many times I wanted to ‘drop it’ altogether and get on with other things. But it wouldn’t let me go. When at last I owned my vocation as a writer, I experienced a feeling of freedom. I couldn’t live my life thinking ‘perhaps I could’. I needed to grasp it and say ‘I will do this’, regardless of whether anyone else wanted to read my words.

I’m now glad that earlier attempts led to limited success. It took me until recently to discover my ‘voice,’ to mature into becoming the writer I want to be. I needed that time of waiting, internal conflict and ‘brewing’ – however difficult that was at the time!

As someone who struggles with CFS/ME, my life is by necessity punctuated by full stops – not always where I would like to put them!

I’ve had to be flexible in my expectations of myself and to accept the occasional ‘derailing’ of my dreams.

Please tell us about your publishing journey

I worked hard on my proposal before approaching publishers. I approached one publisher because I was acquainted with the commissioning editor and knew she would be constructive. The team was interested but they weren’t sure it would sell.

The second editor/publisher I approached was complimentary about both the idea and my writing style but, again, rejected the book.

I then started looking into a third publisher. As I researched them, I felt an affinity with them that I’d not experienced with anyone else. I needed more courage to contact them because of this! I got an out-of-office reply. The then commissioning editor wasn’t back from holiday until the next week. I was surprised to get a reply that next week, asking to see the complete manuscript (such as it was).

The team worked hard over the next few months to make publishing my book viable for them. I signed a contract with Darton, Longman and Todd in August 2013.

It’s worth finding a publisher who is a good ‘fit’ for your book, not just in genre and style but in ethos. What do they care about? What’s your common ground – and how can you bring this to their attention? Don’t just look at them as names on a list; look at the reasons you’d like to be published by them. Yes, it can make the rejection harder. But it will make an acceptance all the more sweet!

For me, finding a publishing team who grasped – from the outset – the ‘soul’ of the book, made a huge difference. I felt I could trust them with it. They wanted to publish my book because they liked it and they understood it. I feel very privileged to have been published by them, as a ‘new author on the block’. I’d love the book to sell well because I want to justify their faith in it.

Lucy’s website and blog are found at http://www.lucy-mills.com and she tweets as @lucymills. You can hear her read an extract from Chapter 16 of Forgetful Heart here: 

 

Lucy Mills

Lucy Mills

 

Filed Under: In which I proudly introduce my guest posters Tagged With: Darton, Forgetful Heart, Longman and Todd, Lucy Mills, Publishing, Remembering, writing

Forgive, but Remember Graciously. With the Wisdom of a Serpent & Gentleness of a Dove

By Anita Mathias

Woodcut by Gustave Dore

I am reading through The Book of Genesis.

Joseph’s ten older brothers hated him. Of course, they did. The favourite son with the ornamented robe, who told tales on them, to whom they bowed in their dreams–dreams they uneasily sensed were prescient.

Eight brothers wanted to kill him. Reuben suggested throwing him into a disused well (perhaps intending to regain Jacob’s favour by rescuing him). Judah suggested selling him into slavery, exchanging a pesky little brother for 20 shekels of silver.

Joseph had every reason to hate and fear them.

* * *

But when they appear, all ten, bowing before Joseph as both he and they had always suspected they would, they are different.

They express regret. “We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen,” Reuben says.

Judah, who suggested selling Joseph into slavery, now offers himself as a slave so that Benjamin can return his father. “How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come upon my father.”

Twenty years ago he was perfectly capable of going to his father falsely stating that Joseph was dead. He silently observed Jacob’s misery, but did not divulge the truth—effectively ensuring that Jacob did not recover Joseph.

Twenty years and fatherhood have softened him. He is behaving like a good son and brother.

Though the brothers appear to be different—regretful about selling Joseph, mindful of Jacob’s misery, Joseph still acts with wisdom. He weeps and embraces them, but has no illusions about this family with a feral streak, so rapid to blame and betray each other. (“Why did you bring this trouble on me by telling the man you had another brother?” Jacob asks, quite irrationally. )

Forgiving is one thing. Foolishness is another. Joseph forgives, but does not entrust himself to these men who were prepared to kill him. He does not share power with them, or involve them in Pharaoh’s government. He does not invite them into his household. He relocates his brothers a safe distance from him, in Goshen on the outskirts of Egypt. He gives them no opportunity to harm him. He provides for them, but contains them.

* * *

This too is forgiveness. Be gracious and kind because that is the kind of person you want to be: gracious and kind. But be as wise as a serpent.


I love this fable in the movie, “The Crying Game.”

“Scorpion wants to cross a river, but he can’t swim. Goes to the frog, who can, and asks for a ride. Frog says, ‘If I give you a ride on my back, you’ll go and sting me.’

Scorpion replies, ‘It would not be in my interest to sting you since as I’ll be on your back we both would drown.’

Frog thinks about this logic for a while and accepts the deal. Takes the scorpion on his back. Braves the waters.

Halfway over feels a burning spear in his side and realizes the scorpion has stung him after all. And as they both sink beneath the waves the frog cries out, ‘Why did you sting me, Mr. Scorpion, for now we both will drown?’

Scorpion replies, ‘I can’t help it, it’s my nature.’”

When I remember how I have changed from my harsher teens and twenties, I know that people do change.

However, without solid evidence that they indeed have changed, it’s best to proceed with caution, being gracious, courteous and gentle as a dove, but, sadly, as guarded, wise and shrewd as the proverbial serpent.

People do change, and that is a miracle of grace—but a miracle is just that, a miracle. Do not presume on it!

* * *

Columbanus’ Letter to a Young Disciple: “When we are aware that another person has lied to us, deceived us, betrayed our trust, or deliberately misled us, if we are wise we will not easily trust them again. We are required to show them love, to meet them with forgiveness, not to close our heart to them—but trust should be earned.”  (From Celtic Daily Prayer)

We must seek God on this. Sometimes, keeping the dialogue open with a sincere Christ-seeker I have had differences with clears the air and my heart feels healthier for dropping suspicion and judgement and opening channels of communication.

However, my intuitions are often wiser than my mind and conscience. I have often silenced my intuitions about people in the interests of being nice and friendly, and regretted it when words I spoke bounced back to me morphed, when my doings were reported with a malevolent spin.

Once you have been betrayed, back-stabbed, gossiped about, you must treat that person with caution. So now, when the spirit within me warns me that I am speaking to someone who envies, dislikes, or resents me, and I have the uneasy sense of being a sheep among wolves, I am wondering   it might be best to limit interactions, even in social and church settings.Be guarded in my speech, politely cut the conversation short, and return to safer ground, to people to whom I can be a blessing.

* * *

The Christian life is a tight-rope walk between wisdom and agape—and we need the wisdom of Jesus to walk it, Jesus who counselled us to be as wise as a serpent but as gentle as a dove; Jesus who embodies contraries in himself, on occasion not entrusting himself to even to believers, but at times graciously saying to his betrayer, “Friend, what you are about to do, do quickly.”

 

This was first hosted at the blog of singer and songwriter Rebekah Gilbert. Thank you!

Filed Under: Applying my heart unto wisdom, Genesis, In which I forgive Aught against Any (Sigh) Tagged With: caution, columbanus letter to a young disciple, forgiving, Genesis, Joseph and his brothers, prudence, the crying game, wisdom

They do not enquire of the LORD, so they do not prosper (Jeremiah 10:21)

By Anita Mathias

I  have been listening to the Old Testament as I walk around the countryside around Garsington, which is supposed to have more public footpaths than any other village in Oxfordshire (or was it England?).

The advantage of listening to huge swathes of Scripture at a time is picking up the big themes.

A phrase which often comes up—when people do something rash, foolish, misguided, or which ends very badly is “they did not enquire of the Lord.”

They did what they felt like doing, what seemed eminently sensible to them. They acted out of fear, or pragmatism, or ambition. They just omitted to enquire of the Lord.

* * *

I think enquiring of the Lord is a habit slowly acquired–but it has to be learnt, if we want a life which has the hallmarks of God’s blessing.

 I particularly need this, being both decisive and impulsive.  You know how Peter had enough of sadness and jumps up saying, “I’m going fishing,” in the last chapter of John. I can easily jump up and do things: commit to a course of action without thinking it through and seeing if it is the wisest and best.

Through trial and costly error, I am training myself to enquire of the Lord in big things and small: where to go on holiday; major purchases; whom to invite for dinner; what to eat for dinner!, which opportunities to take up and which to turn down; which writing projects to commit to; which books to read in my limited time;   how to grow my blog….

I think of God as a silver waterfall full of grace and wisdom, and I just need to step in it, be bathed in it, and ASK to receive his guidance.

Slow me down, Lord; slow me down.

 

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Oh, what grace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer

 

Filed Under: Applying my heart unto wisdom Tagged With: Enquiring of the Lord, God's guidance, Jeremiah, Old Testament Prophets

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Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India

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Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

Wandering Between Two Worlds
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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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My Latest Meditation

Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

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Recent Posts

  • The Kingdom of God is Here Already, Yet Not Yet Here
  • All Those Who Exalt Themselves Will Be Humbled & the Humble Will Be Exalted
  • Christ’s Great Golden Triad to Guide Our Actions and Decisions
  • How Jesus Dealt With Hostility and Enemies
  • Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
  • For Scoundrels, Scallywags, and Rascals—Christ Came
  • How to Lead an Extremely Significant Life
  • Don’t Walk Away From Jesus, but if You Do, He Still Looks at You and Loves You
  • How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
  • The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God!
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

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What I’m Reading


Practicing the Way
John Mark Comer

Practicing the Way --  Amazon.com
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Amazon.co.uk

Olive Kitteridge
Elizabeth Strout

Olive Kitteridge --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Long Loneliness:
The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist
Dorothy Day

The Long Loneliness --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry:
How to stay emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world
John Mark Comer

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Country Girl
Edna O'Brien

Country Girl  - Amazon.com
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My Latest Five Podcast Meditations

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anita.mathias

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets https://amzn.to/42xgL9t
Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
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