The phoenix, which rose out of the ashes of his old body, is a symbol of Christ in traditional iconography.

It could also be a symbol of the power of prayer. Numerous times in my life, when I have been stuck, prayer–-intense, deep, desperate prayer–-has changed my circumstances. Has reversed the plot.

It is, in fact, a pattern seen throughout the Old Testament. God’s people sin; they descend into despair. And then we read the magical words, Nehemiah–or whoever–prayed to the Lord God of Heaven and Earth. 

And things turn around!!
                                                                                                                                  * * *

Hitting rock bottom–when we find ourselves utterly unable to continue in our own power– can precipitate change. We’ve done the self-reliance bit. We’ve failed. Over to you, Lord!

Turning to God in our desperation because we have no other resources somehow  accelerates his intervention in our lives, and,   paradoxically, releases a flood of grace and power.

John Wimber, founder of the Vineyard, describes a night in his Detroit hotel room when he was exhausted and depressed from continual travel. And he hears God tell him, “John, I’ve seen YOUR ministry (and frankly I’m not that impressed) but now I would like to show you MINE!”

From his failure and brokenness sprung a new reliance on Christ, and “signs and wonders” and the founding of the Vineyard, which revived the English church too, via David Pytches of St. Andrew’s, Chorleywood.

                  * * *

Dick Woodward, the pastor emeritus of Williamsburg Community Chapel, my old church in America, attributes a sea-change in his ministry to a moment when he hit rock bottom. His wife was bed-bound, and he was looking after 4 children, simultaneously changing two in nappies, when the phone rang. A long-winded parishioner.

When he finally got off, he cried out, “Lord, I can’t.” And he felt God say, “I have been waiting a long time to hear you say that. Let me tell you a remarkable secret. I can.”

From that sprang a worldwide teaching ministry, as Woodward learnt to live in the vine, in the waterfall of God’s power. He calls this the four spiritual secrets.

I’m not, but He is.
And I am in Him, and He is in me.

I can’t, but He can.
And I am in Him, and He is in me.

I don’t want to, but He wants to.
And I am in Him, and He is in me.

I didn’t, but He did.
Because I was in Him and He was in me.

* * *

I think of Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret, which was essentially the same: do not strive for faithfulness, lean on the faithful one.

 I am reading an interesting book called They Found the Secret. The reason spiritual secrets remain secret is that they cannot be grasped by the mind or intelligence, but only by the heart.

And, like the fairy godmother of fairy tales who appeared when the need was desperate, we only crack the secret of accessing God’s power when we are desperate to do so.  When our ability to do life on our own has failed us.

* * *

 I struggled to surrender my writing to God in my thirties when my children were little.

Ironically, I now realise that that was the best time to surrender my writing to God because working with stress and feeling things are against you is the worst way to write, and my writing would have gone better if I was relaxed and had surrendered it to God, and worked as God provided time…

I would surrender it, and then, sort of take it back, fretting about the distractions of my life, my low energy, and the lack of domestic help from my husband. Not the best frame of mind for creative work.

And then when I started a business, writing became impossible, and for four years, I did not write at all!!

* * *

Now surrendering my writing to God or not is not an issue.

I don’t know any way to write other than peacefully in the waterfall of God, trusting him for strength and energy, trusting God for words.

The LORD said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Exodus 4.

And, through my blog, my writing is reaching vastly more people than ever before.

* * *

How to work enabled by God’s power?

Here’s what works for me:

1 Repent. If anything you are doing is a major roadblock to experiencing the flow of God’s love and power in your life—and such a thing may quickly come to mind—repent.

2 Ask him for his power and grace to flow through you.

Visualizing myself in the river, a molecule in the vine of God, helps.

3 Total surrender. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine (John 17:10) Jesus said. Giving God our day, accepting what comes as from his hands, somehow helps us to access all that He has, his riches.