Matthew | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Do Not Be Afraid–But Be as Wise as a Serpent

By Anita Mathias

Today’s meditation is on not being afraid, but rather, acting with wisdom.

Do not be afraid, the angel in the dream

tells Joseph: Marry your fiancée, Mary,

who is showing, despite your chaste restraint,

for in our magical world, in which angels

speak to humans, a virgin has conceived

by the Spirit of God, as long foretold, by the prophet Isaiah,

and the child shall be called Jesus, which means The Lord Saves,

and he shall save people from the power of sin.

And Joseph is not afraid and marries Mary.

And the angel’s words are soon confirmed

For a star appeared in the East,

And the astrologers who saw it, followed it to Jerusalem,

Searching for one they knew was born

the King of the Jews (terrifying jealous King Herod!).

And when the star stopped, they worshipped the child

With precious gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.

But then, the prophetic dream-angel,

Appeared with a different message:

Flee to Egypt, and stay there “until I tell you to leave,”

For King Herod plans to kill

The child who is to be a forever-King.

What? The dream angel who exhorted, “Do not be afraid?”

Now says, “Escape to Egypt.”

Escape to Egypt? Leave my business, extended family,

Friends, my language? Live among strangers? Become a refugee?

But, oh dream-angel, wasn’t it you who said, “Do not be afraid?”

But the spirit is like the wind, the child Jesus later said.

It sometimes blows new guidance, new directions.

(And, indeed, Herod would soon slaughter every male infant and toddler in Bethlehem.)

God’s Spirit within us teaches us

The difference between acting out of fear

And acting with wisdom.

Scripture repeatedly commands us not to be afraid,

For most things we fear will never happen,

And when trouble comes: They are there–

God our loving Father, Christ our friend,

and the Holy Spirit whom Jesus calls

The Helper, Counsellor, and Comforter.

Fear wastes time, energy and life–

Fear of being judged leads to over-cooking and over-cleaning-up for guests.

Fear of judgement leads overwhelmed you to signing up to all those rotas

While neglecting your own home, family, gifts and calling.

Fear might lead to foolish worrying about your bank balance,

When you know the Lord Jesus Christ who added three zeros

When he multiplied the five loaves.

What then is the wisdom Jesus recommends?

We go out as sheep among wolves, Christ tells us.

And, he adds, dangerously, some wolves are dressed like sheep.

They seem respectable—busy charity volunteers, Church people.

Oh, the noblest sentiments in the noblest words,

But they drain you of money, energy, time, your lifeblood.

How then could a sheep, the most defenceless creature on earth,

Possibly be safe, among wolves,

Particularly wolves disguised in sheep’s clothing?

A sheep among wolves can be safe

if it keeps its eyes on its Shepherd, and listens to him.

Check in with your instincts, and pay attention to them,

for they can be God’s Spirit within you, warning you.

We have too the wisdom of The Good Book.

And, as Jesus cautions, assess people before you trust them,

Not by their words, but by the fruit of their lives

Which says more than words can.

Do things add up? Any red flags?

And Jesus has another memorable piece of advice

For his disciples, those sheep among wolves.

Be as wise, as phronimos as a serpent. The koine Greek word

Phronimos means shrewd, sensible, cautious, prudent.

These traits don’t come naturally to me.

But if Christ commands that we be as wise,

shrewd, sensible, cautious and prudent as a serpent,

His Spirit will empower us to be so.

A serpent is a carnivorous reptile,

But animals, birds and frogs are not easily caught.

So, the snake wastes no energy in bluster or self-promotion.

It does not boast of its plans; it does not show-off.

It is a creature of singular purpose, deliberate and slow-moving

For much of its life, it rests, camouflaged,

soaking in the sun, waiting and planning.

It’s patient, almost invisible, until the time is right

And then, it acts swiftly and decisively.

The wisdom of the snake then is in waiting

For the right time. It conserves energy,

Is warmed by the sun, watches, assesses,

and when the time is right, it moves swiftly

And very effectively.

But what of “two-faced snakes”

Who smile and smile and yet are villains?

Who wait till their Caesar-enemy is down,

Before they strike. God does not bless such lives.

Those who take the sword, perish by the sword, Jesus says,

Unless they repent, and a merciful God forgives.

However, as always, Jesus balances his advice:

Be as wise as a serpent, yes, but also as blameless

akeraios as a dove. As pure, as guileless, as good.

Be wise, but not only to provide for yourself and family

But, also, to fulfil your calling in the world,

The one task God has given you, and no one else

Which you alone, and no one else, can do,

And which God will increasingly reveal to you,

as you wait and ask.

Today’s meditation was from Matthew Chapter 2.

If you’d like to read my previous recorded meditations,

3 Our Failures are the Cracks Through Which God’s Light Enters

2 The World is full of the Glory of God

1 Mindfulness is Remembering the Presence of Christ with us.

Please subscribe at Apple podcasts, Spotify, Amazon music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks!!

And, of course, I would love you to read my memoir, fruit of much “blood, sweat, toil and tears.”

Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India in the UK, and in the US, here, well, and widely available, online, worldwide 🙂

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On being as wise as a serpent and as gentle as a dove

By Anita Mathias

“I am sending you out as sheep among wolves,” Jesus says.

You would imagine that a sheep among wolves would stand no chance at all. Not for a second!

And that’s how Jesus sees us Christ-followers. As sheep among wolves.

Yes, I have sometimes been a sheep among wolves…in toxic situations where I sense pretty much everyone was lying to me, about me, lying about events, danger I sometimes sensed, and sometimes did not. Where I was innocently in over my head in fraught, loaded situations in a toxic church I was once in; situations to do with business, or money, or in-laws. Experiences in my travels, or dealings with officialdom, where I had no power, and they apparently had it all, and all seems dark and hopeless.

You are in a fog, a fog of minor evil, where you are powerless, you don’t know what the truth is, and few seem to be speaking it.

What do you do in this fog, where everyone has their own agenda, and no one speaks truth to their neighbour? You shut up, as much as you can! You go still. You pray. I love Rumer Godden’s analogy in In This House of Brede—The more a bird caught in a net struggles, the further it gets entangled.

Yes, everything seems dark and hopeless, and then, suddenly, the fog clears, and there is light, and as if by magic, the situation resolves. In ways better than you could have hoped for.

What worked this magic? How does the fog sometimes lift?

Ah, the great Shepherd had his eye on his sheep all along, it turns out

We are sent out as sheep among wolves since the Great Shepherd knows it is safe to send us out.

What hope has the sheep among wolves? Only that the eye of the good and powerful shepherd is upon it. And that is enough.

* * *

When Jesus sends his disciples out as sheep in the midst of wolves, he offers them just one bit of armour, one bit of protection: Be as wise and shrewd as a serpent, and as innocent as a dove.

Because the life of Jesus is in us, because we are trying to march to a different drummer and do the right thing and obey the voice of Jesus, we are to be careful. We are telling the truth among people who might say whatever is necessary to achieve their objectives. We are trying to remain pure of heart among those playing to win. We are playing by different rules

So we need to be as wise as we possibly can, without sinning.

Oh dear, how can we be as shrewd and wise as a serpent, if we don’t feel very wise as I generally do not? If we despise being tricky?

We ask Jesus, the source of all wisdom for wisdom and guidance, step by step.

* * *

I love the heart-expanding call to love, to be merciful, to be open, giving to everyone who asks of us, to keep our hearts pure and kind.

I love too the call to wisdom, which is for our protection, we fluffy woolly sheep among wolves.

Be wise as a serpent who keeps its own counsel, who knows how to wait, who listens to signals and instincts deep within its blood and bones, resting in winter, moving fast when it needs to.

Elsewhere Jesus counsels, “Do not cast your pearls before swine, or they will trample them underfoot and then tear you to pieces.”

Be wise as a serpent when we know we are dealing with those who would abuse our generosity and kindness and rend us to pieces, who might twist our words and gossip about us.

It may not be possible to edit them out of our lives; we may belong to the same church or social circle. We may be related to them through blood or marriage, for a man’s enemies are often from his own household, as again Jesus warned us.

So then, heeding our instincts, we limit dealings with the unsafe, dangerous ones to limit the risk of being trampled underfoot and torn to pieces. We are careful about what we say in their presence and we say as little as possible. We avoid them as far as possible as a sheep instinctively avoids a wolf, as wild animals instinctively avoid larger animals and humans.

How grateful I am for these checks and balances. “Give to everyone who asks of you,” “love,” but also “Be wise as a serpent.”

* * *

Following Jesus is a bit like playing chess. There are rules and commandments, but infinite freedom and variations within it. It is not mechanical; what fun would there be in that? We need wisdom; we need guidance; we need to listen to Jesus before we move in fraught situations. We need the Spirit who will teach us what to say in tricky situations.

Ah, learning to follow Jesus…the task of a lifetime…and a rewarding one!

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What protection has the sheep among wolves? Only that the eye of the good shepherd is on it. NEW from @anitamathias1

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When Christians Behave Badly: Seedlings and Saplings in God’s Kingdom

By Anita Mathias

A friend of mine had once been deeply humiliated by a fellow Christian, a soulful worship leader. She told me the story, then burst into tears, saying, “I don’t even know if she’s a Christian. I cannot bear to watch her lead worship.” My friend left that church.

I often think that when I am shockingly treated by another Christian: “I don’t even know if they are Christians. Perhaps they were Christians. Perhaps they are living on fumes.” And sometimes that is the safest assumption—that the person was a Christian, and has now settled for church position, or power, or prominence, or, perhaps, in Jesus’ language “the cares and worries of the world and the delight in riches” have choked the fragile, beautiful seed of new life in them.

Or sometimes, when I encounter decidedly non-Christian behaviour in Christians, I think of circles of discipleship. Jesus had an innermost circle of people he chose for purity of heart, passion, strength of character: Peter, James and John. Then there were the twelve, the seventy-two, the five hundred, the five thousand plus women and children for whom he multiplied the loaves and fishes; the crowds who followed him on Palm Sunday. All following Jesus, but with varying levels of intensity and commitment. Perhaps the people whose behaviour is unlike Jesus’s have strayed to an outer circle of discipleship, as I myself sometimes do. That’s one way of looking at it!

* * *

In Matthew 13, Jesus talks about the mysterious Kingdom of Heaven, which is here, right now, in which it is possible to live, today, in full communion with the Father, walking step by step with the Son, and experiencing the fullness of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus’ parable of the mustard seed provides another way of understanding Christians who behave badly. The Kingdom of God in the micro-world of our lives, and the macro-world of the world is “like a mustard tree, which though is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”

And so it is with each individual Christian—we are seedlings and saplings in the Kingdom before we become mighty trees.

Perhaps the Christians whose behaviour puzzles me (as undoubtedly mine sometimes puzzles others) are still saplings, new or distracted in the ways of following Christ. Perhaps the Lord will send them water and sun and good soil, and they will one day grow so astoundingly that what they become bears no resemblance to what they were. And perhaps Jesus shall do the same for me!

* * *

Judging others is a soul-sapping, soul-stunting distraction. I know this because I so often have to rein in and retrieve my falcon -thoughts when they go critically swooping around someone else.

Jesus gives us a way to deal with our natural tendencies to judge. When we find ourselves judging others, we are to immediately check to see if we are guilty of the very same thing that we are judging our brother for, or a closely related thing. For if Freud was right, the traits we most hate in others are those we secretly see and suppress within ourselves.

So Jesus suggests that when we see the bossy Christian, the manipulative Christian, or the over-ambitious Christian, instead of gnashing our teeth at them, we should examine our own souls, remember the times we have used the short cuts of manipulation rather than the slow road of prayer. Have sought the drug of fame or success instead of the new wine of Jesus. And so instead of descending into the bottomless black hole of judgement, we grow, we change! Our judgement of our brother proves a spur for us to grow ourselves.

We pray for our enemies, or those who irritate us. We do dare not assume that they are not in the Kingdom at all. Rather we realise that they may be just saplings in the kingdom as we ourselves might well be in the eternal eyes of him who judges wisely, and we pray that, one day, because of the sunshine of grace, both they and we will become mighty trees, and the birds of the air will come and nest in all our branches.

Changing the Soil of My Heart, Little by Little

By Anita Mathias

I read the Gospels, I hear them preached, and tap, tap, tap, go my jubilant feet.

The Gospels tell me lovely things I wanted to believe but feared were not true; that fellow Christians often suggested were not true, by their deeds, if not their words; and that our world definitely believes are not true. I read the Gospels and sense everything sad coming untrue, as Sam Gamgee exclaims in his delight.

What only fools gather and heap into barns? And see here: He says, it’s safe to forgive and bless even our pesky enemies, for he has our affairs in hand. And–look, he says prayer can move mountains, lame feet, dead bodies, anything… And look, I am commanded not to worry, but to live free as a bird–commanded, I tell you.

Tap, tap, tap, my toes beat at the Gospel’s jazz rhythm of hope.

“Oh yes!” I resolve as Rilke did when faced with the sheer beauty of the Archaic Torso of Apollo, “I will revise my life.”

I have decided to follow Jesus, my heart sings. I will forever live in the waterfall, the force field of God’s power.

* * *

And then, I go out into the world, where not everyone in the stands is a cheerleader and I am sometimes cheated; where my prayers are not instantly answered and my words are plagiarized.

And something leaks out of me.

The resolve to seek comfort and joy in the filling of the Holy Spirit? Well, it becomes chocolate and the Holy Spirit. And 10,000 pedometer steps, for my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, well…

And keeping the house orderly for God is not a God of disorder but of peace…Well. And waking very early in the morning, while it is still dark to spend time with my heavenly Father. Well…

Oh, I had wanted to speak words which give energy and life, but I hear myself speaking critical words which sap resolve, words which stem from tiredness and frustration, and I am filled with shame.

Oh, wretched woman that I am, who will rescue me from this body of death?

* * *

Jesus Christ will, oh yes, he will, through multiple means of grace.

And here is one, suggested by the prophet Habbakuk, 2600 years ago. I will write down the vision and make it plain that I may run when I read it…

What I resolved when I was on fire on the mountain-top, I will re-read in the damp-squibby valley.

I have a sheet of “epiphanies and resolutions” in my prayer journal. I resolutely pray through each desire of my heart, a page or so a day, and when I come to that page, I resolve again.

And I resume revising my life.

* * *

In the long run, failure does not matter. Getting side-tracked doesn’t matter. All that matters is beginning again. And again. The simple glory of persisting.

Yes, I will eat more veggies and walk more because my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I want to keep it fit and strong. Yes, I will run an orderly house for the sake of my own mental health and happiness and for the peace of its inhabitants. Yes, “there is nothing but love,”–so help me God, I will remember that “all is small save love, for love is all in all.” Yes, I will wake early. And writing, oh yes, writing! I will write faithfully as a bird sings, for that is what I’ve been created to do.

“The essential thing in heaven and in earth is that there should be long obedience in the same direction. There thereby results, and has always resulted something which has made life worth living: virtue, art, music, dancing, reason, spirituality– anything whatever that is transfiguring, refined, foolish, or divine,” Nietzche wrote in Beyond Good and Evil.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours,” Thoreau observed.

And I read my resolves, and I re-resolve, and by persisting with the help of invisible friends—the Lord Jesus himself; God my Father; the Holy Spirit my Comforter; and the protective angelic hosts sent at my prayers — I will more than conquer those invisible enemies of my soul, the birds of distraction, the sun of discouragement, the thorns of hassles and the temptation to earn more than necessary.

And, God willing, my heart through constant amendments with the sun of grace, the water of the word and the compost of Christian community will become good soil, in which those beautiful seeds of the gospel, seeds of mercy, kindness, gentleness and love will be fruitful–ever so fruitful.

The first version of this appeared on Addie Zierman’s beautiful blog. Thank you, Addie.

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How to Evade a Trap. A Short Guide to Wisdom

By Anita Mathias

Jesus was a truly extraordinary human being. I keep learning from him as I read through the Gospel of Matthew.

Sometimes I am put on the spot, and asked a question, with hostile intent, by people who do not wish me well, and who, I sense, will use my words against me–people who are wolves in Tolkein’s terms, or “a brood of vipers” in Jesus’s colourful phrase in Matthew 12.

I often get stressed and answer truthfully, hoping innocence will be protection against evil. And it sometimes is–but sometimes evil proves stronger. In the short run, at least. Good Friday teaches us that.

* * *

In the Gospels, repeatedly, people try to trap Jesus with his words. Try to make him incriminate himself by what he says. Try to make him say things they can use against him. Interestingly, they never succeeded. He never said a single thing they could use against him in a court of law. The charges which finally led to his execution were fabricated!

He deals with each trap they lay for him differently, but most often, he sidesteps them with the agility of a ballet-dancer.

He is asked “Teacher, we want to see a miraculous sign from you.” (Matt 12:38)

Me, I might have got stressed, and tried to heal someone to disarm them, or provided a miracle in my conceit! Or panicked, and denied my ability to do a miracle. The former response—which would have been a presumptuous showing off– would have been ignored by my enemies. The latter would have been quoted against me.

Jesus, however, refuses to show off, and provide them the sign they desire.

A valid response to hostile questioning: Refuse to answer any questions you do not wish to answer. Refuse to do things your enemies ask you to do which you yourself do not wish to. Slow down enough to know what you really want to do.

Jesus says, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.” (Matthew 12 39-40).

He answers to their request for a sign so cryptically that they do not dare to question him further for fear of having their own ignorance exposed. And that was the end of that.

* * *

I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as wise as a serpent, and as innocent as a dove, Jesus says. (Matt. 10:16).

What protection might a lamb, surrounded by a pack of wolves, have?

Its own innocence and goodness. The wisdom Christ exhorts it to have. And the eyes of the shepherd that are upon it.

And what should one do if one finds oneself surrounded by wolves, whose words are disingenuous, and cannot be trusted; who lay traps for your feet; who question you with hostile intent, and will use your words against you?

Be wise as a serpent. If possible, avoid them. Avoid getting into conversation with them. Be careful when it’s unavoidable. A mentor once told me that 90 percent of wisdom is saying as little as possible. Do so. Avoid exacerbating their envy by showing off!

When asked a point-blank question, remember that one can refuse to answer.

Or can give an opaque parallel answer like Jesus does. When asked to do a miracle, talk about Jonah and the belly of a whale, and people will be so befuddled by this that they will not press you further.

Tell all the truth but tell it slant,
Success in circuit lies,
Too bright for our infirm delight
The truth’s superb surprise; (Emily Dickinson)

Listen to your intuition. When surrounded by those you have reason to believe are hostile, slow down. Be quick to listen, slow to speak. Turn on your supernatural radar. Get real quiet and listen to another voice too, the lover of your soul.

Answer slowly and deliberately and with wisdom. Words will be given you, Jesus promises. “When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, ¹²for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” (Luke 12 11-12). “For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict,” (Luke 21:15).

Slow down enough to hear his words.

In which God Multiplies Our Creativity, Our Time and Our Talents

By Anita Mathias

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I have no difficulty in believing the Gospel accounts of healings, but the feeding of the 5000 leaves me dazzled. Now how exactly did that happen?

However, it’s easier to believe it than to believe that Matthew, Mark, and John, eyewitnesses, were deliberately lying.

So, though my rational mind boggles, yes, I believe it happened– without understanding exactly how it happened.

* * *

There is a similar miracle in the Old Testament, where Elisha feeds 100 with 20 loaves, and there were leftovers–and there are contemporary accounts of similar multiplications.

Heidi Baker (subject of this sensitive and adulatory Christianity Today cover story )says this in an interview.

Q–You’ve seen a type of miracle that is not mentioned in Jesus’ earthly ministry, but He did do something similar – the multiplication of food to feed a crowd. In your case, you witnessed the multiplication of Christmas presents. What happened?

Heidi Baker—That only happened once.

However, we’ve had the food multiplied many times. And it’s just super-exciting every time. We always cry. And we don’t test God. We buy as much food as we can. I knew God would multiply food. I’d seen him do it. But I thought it would be a little over the top for Him to multiply presents. That was my theological background kicking in.

I love to give gifts. I was giving out Christmas presents one year in southern Mozambique on a 120-degree day. I sat on a grass mat, looking each child in the eye, loving and blessing them. My staff had worked for months on getting all the presents together. I don’t even know how many we had, maybe a thousand or so gifts. The homeless were there and the street kids were there and all of our own children were there.

We were getting to the end of the line and our teenage girls were now in the queue. A helper, who happened to be a psychiatrist, was next to me. Her name was Brenda. I was thinking of John 15 and I just looked at one of my own girls and said, “What do you want?” The psychiatrist really got ticked off and said, “I told you, there are stuffed dogs in the bag.” I knew the girls didn’t want old second-hand stuffed dogs. I said to the girl again, “What do you want?” A couple of the girls yelled out, “Beads. Beads.”

I just prayed, and I looked up to the Lord and said, “Brenda. They want beads.” She reached in and started screaming, “There are beads in the bag.” She started sobbing. Some people from Argentina, who saw it happen, started jumping and screaming. My Mozambican helpers did the same thing. We were all sobbing and pulling out beads. That was a powerful experience. We had also counted something like 24 wrapped checkerboards and gave out twice that number.

* * *

It’s the old Lewisian trilemma again— A man who said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic–on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg–or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. (Mere Christianity, Chapter 7).

So perhaps Heidi is a lunatic, but lunatics do not care for 5000 children; or a liar, but someone so radiant with the love of God as Heidi is unlikely to lie about him. Or the power of God is vaster than I can imagine.

I’m going with that.

* * *

Actually we see the multiplication of loaves and fishes every day.

We see it in nature, in the bounty from seeds; we see it from animals who are lovingly looked after, 2 chicks multiplying to 50.

We see it from the immense riches which come from a good idea, from Adobe’s InDesign which sells for $700 or Microsoft Word or Matlab which sell for $100. Books, often still in the author’s head, sell for six figures. We see multiplication of the loaves and fishes in eBay, which has no stock, but is basically an idea: that people are basically good, and so strangers can safely enter into transactions. Facebook, where our relentless activity relentlessly contributes to its valuation, is also just website based on an idea–and is now valued at $250 billion!

The immense wealth, immense abundance in the universe, often comes to people in the form of good ideas.

* * *

How can we experience creative abundance?

Most bloggers write just a fraction of the blog posts in their heads. Most writers write just a minuscule fraction of all the good books they are capable of writing. In Keats’ phrase, they die, “before their pen has gleaned their teeming brain.”

The air in the room in which I write is full of signals. Signals to my TV, my radio, my iPhone, my laptop. Thousands of ideas in the air of my room, available to me as I switch on a gadget.

And God’s thoughts too are in the air of this room.

How precious to me are your thoughts,God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand (Ps 139)

God’s thoughts pouring down, shimmering, more of them than every grain of sand on the seashore.

How do I access this infinity of ideas, and more importantly, find time and energy to write them down?

The short answer, I suspect, is absolute surrender. Giving God the key to every room of the house of our lives.

* * *

As with the Feeding of the Five Thousand, accessing God’s power a mixture of our effort and God’s goodness. The disciples offered their five loaves of bread and two fish. And God did the rest.

It’s a mixture of left-brain strategy and resourcefulness, and a right-brain openness to what God is up to.

I usually have dozens of ideas for blog posts which I have dictated to my phone or noted on my laptop. Finding time and energy to write them down will partly be a matter of revising my life.

* * *

Our lives are a web of hundreds of habits, some helpful, many unhelpful. Becoming more creative and productive will be a matter of revising habits at the micro-level, plugging the micro-leaks of time, the micro-actions in which we have not given Jesus the key to our time and lives, and are therefore acting outside the will of God.

For instance, I am trying to get into the habit of not writing or praying while I have access to Facebook, twitter, email or newspapers on my laptop. I switch them off using the apps SelfControl and StayFocusd. This greatly helps my focus.

I am trying to wake early and sleep early, because odds are I will use early morning time a bit better than late night time.

I write more and sleep better if I exercise, so I am trying to ensure that I weave exercise into my day, and get 10,000 steps on my Fitbit.

The peace and focus that domestic order brings, working in tidy and decluttered surroundings, immensely helps creativity.

Emotional tension drains our focus and energy, so I am doing the work of forgiving the people I need to forgive. And trying to seek Christ’s eyes and mind about the people I find annoying. And doing the mental and emotional work: forgiveness, perhaps, or realising that God has placed them in my life for a refining reason, for me to learn patience and kindness and empathy and tolerance. To see the good in them, and to practice firmness and saying No if necessary. To realize that even if someone’s intent towards me is wholly malignant, God can protect me.

There are spiritual practices which help creativity—remembering I am one with Christ, and so have access to the Father’s ideas, and wisdom on how to do a shapely blog, for instance. Mentally positioning and visualizing myself in the force field and waterfall of God’s goodness and power when I start writing.

Living in love not only feeds the emotional needs which make it easier for us to be productive, but is a fast-track into abiding in God, and having Jesus abide in our souls. Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. John 14:23. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12.

In Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. (Col 2:3). Hidden. And as we increasingly align ourselves and our lives with him, and keep seeking him, we begin to hear his answers to all the knotty questions of our lives. How do I lose weight? How do I become more productive?

* * *

I have not found the answers to increasing my productivity and getting all the ideas in my head onto the page yet—but I am more productive than I was a year ago.

As with many things in life, the answer may come as a process rather than a miracle, but I am on my way, still learning, still seeking, still knocking.

When People Mess up the Story of your Life, but God Edits it Beautifully

By Anita Mathias

: The Flight into Egypt and the Triumph of the Innocents (William Holman Hunt)

As I read Matthew 2, I realise how much misery and hassle and stress Joseph and Mary and Jesus had to endure for no sin or mistake of their own—but purely because of their destiny, purely because of other people’s jealousy.

Herod was “disturbed” when the Magi asked, “Where is the one who has been born King of the Jews? We have seen his star in the east.”

He felt no excitement about the one chosen to be King by a higher power, the one whose birth had such cosmic significance that a new star appeared in the heavens.

Instead, he views Jesus as a threat to be eliminated, caring only for the security of his own position. He did not hesitate to murder to safeguard it (as people may not hesitate to slander or backstab anyone they perceive as a threat).

* * *

And so Joseph, Mary and Jesus go to Egypt, though they have done nothing wrong–leaving behind their friends and family, their familiar language, religion, food and customers–purely to escape Herod’s murderous, neurotic wrath.

Have you ever had a change forced on you because someone was jealous of your gifts? Threatened by you? Sadly, I have!

* * *

And the death of Herod does not mean instant safety either. They return to Israel when they hear the blessed words in a dream, “Those who were trying to take the child’s life are dead.”

But Judea is still not safe. Herod’s son was in charge.

And so, to protect their toddler, they relocate to an obscure town in Galilee, Nazareth, and bring him up there.

Exactly as foretold by the Prophet Isaiah.

All these detours, this apparent wasted effort, this obscurity, this ruination of a rooted career for Joseph, the upheaval for Mary and the toddler Jesus–all this was exactly in God’s plan.

Why?

We do not know.

We many never know.

* * *

Once we have reached “a certain age,” we look back at our lives, and say, “Oh, this worked out okay, because it led to this.” “Thank goodness that happened; it closed that door, and opened this.” “That worked out for good, because…”

But other things? Why did Milton– who was desperate to do just one thing: read and write–go blind? Why is my former pastor Dick Woodward a quadriplegic? Why did my mother lose her first-born son?

Why does God permit us to be blocked and thwarted through other people’s envy, fears and insecurities? Perhaps these blocks channel the force of the stream of our energy and talent into just the direction we were meant to go. Perhaps the stream goes underground and comes out stronger.

Or perhaps, and this is the truest answer, we just don’t know.

* * *

We are just characters in the drama of our lives. We don’t get to control where we were born, our parents, their wealth, social class, or our early education. We don’t get to control our IQ, our looks, our physique, our talents, or our disabilities.

We are but characters in a play someone one is writing and directing, and it is our job to play our part as beautifully as possible, and when it is left to us, to improvise. And since much of the story of our lives, many chapters, are left blank for us to fill in as we please–to improvise as beautifully as possible.

But someone else has written the play, someone else is directing it, and when the plot seems utterly senseless—we relax in the fact that we have had a sneak peek at the last act. According to the Book of Revelation, it will all end in celebration, in exultation, in a feast and rejoicing.

And so, when we do not understand the plot twists, we trust the brilliance of the author, the auteur, directing the story of our lives.

And despite all Herod’s machination, he just gets a chapter or so in Jesus’s story.

Jesus: He dominates history!

God Comes to Those Who Dare to be Different: Do Not Be Afraid

By Anita Mathias

And when God chose to become flesh and dwell among us, the angel wisely prefaces his glorious announcement, “You have found favour with God,” with “Do not be afraid.”

You, a “virgin,” will bear a child. Do not be afraid.

Oh, the looming scandal, what would people say?

Many might have politely rejected this “blessing,” but Mary did not baulk. She accepted the potential disgrace, the disapproval, the whispers. “I am the doulos, the servant of the Lord. Be it done to me, according to your word.”

I will not be afraid.

* * *

Potential scandal and disgrace: the price Joseph paid to live with God.

Mary, engaged, “showed.”

Joseph wanted to quietly break up, but the angel challenges him, “Do not afraid.” (Matt. 1:20).

“Your wife’s baby will come too early. She will be gossiped about. You will be gossiped about. But ‘he will save his people from their sins,’” (Matt: 1:22).

Do not be afraid.

* * *

Oh, wouldn’t we love to be grabbed by God, filled with his Spirit, to live seeing the whole earth and our whole lives filled with his glory?

To live seeing God with the eyes of faith, his joy bubbling up in our hearts.

To live in his presence, hearing his voice and brilliant guidance.

To live in the continual feast, which is worship.

* * *

Ah, guess what? Our path into experiencing the glory and joy and presence and power of God will not differ from Mary, or Joseph or Moses (Ex 14:13) or Jeremiah (Jer 1:18).

It will come with a cost. There will be a price. And the same imperative: Do not be afraid.

* * *

“Woe to you when all men speak well of you,” Jesus says (Luke 6:26). Woe to the impressive, to you who dazzle, who have it all, do it all, are the cleverest, thinnest, richest, the best-organized, best housekeeper, best cook, highest-achiever, if what you have sacrificed for all this glory is anonymous, unrecognized, unpraised, soul-blessing, joy-giving, time-consuming communion with Him who chose the dirt and mess and downward mobility of the stable floor.

* * *

Christian, if your current life isn’t giving you joy and peace and the soul-filling presence of God, you must do things differently. You must live differently. You must make room for Him.

Do not be afraid.

When Christ, the King on the white horse, whose name is faithful and true, comes to us, as he did to Mary, prepare to be shaken up.

We may ask his help to be a little thinner, a littler richer, a bit more successful, a bit more organized, for help to get our kids as shiny as other people’s Christmas-letter kids.

To get our house and garden and car and wardrobe and grooming enviable and irreproachable so all men speak well of us.

* * *

But, odds are, he has a different agenda. These things aren’t really giving us joy, are they?

“Woe to you when all men praise you,” (Luke 6:26), Jesus said. He may help us get our acts together so all men praise us. He may not. What’s important is following where he leads, step by step.

Do not be afraid.

God, I suspect, is totally unimpressed by the American Dream permeating the world—“prosperity, success and upward social mobility achieved through hard work.”

Why? Because he can give, at the snap of his fingers, all these things the pagans run after (Matthew 6: 32-33).

* * *

God’s dream for us is different. It does not involve the things we earn or achieve through spirit-numbing, joy-crushing, body-wearying, heart-atrophying hard work, but the things He wants to freely give.

Complete Joy (John 15:11)

Peace that the world cannot give (John 14:27)

Rest (Matthew 11: 28)

Our souls filled with a fountain of living waters. (John 4:13)

Light (John 8:12).

* * *

Christ will never agree to be an Add-On, a Plug-In to help make a life foolishly overloaded to collapsing work a little bit better, so that we can squeeze in even more.

C. S. Lewis writes: “Christ says ‘Give me all of you! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want you! All of you!

I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to kill it!

No half measures will do.

I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out!

Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams.

Turn them all over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self—in my image.

Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.”

* * *

This year, in baby steps, let’s labour for the food which endures to eternal life (John 6:27).

Let Christ be our pace-setter, and let us march to his drumbeats, no faster.

For only the champagne of his joy can fill our soul. The things of this world—we’ve tried them: there is no peace, no joy, no rest in them.

And perhaps we will be a little bit fatter, and our houses a little bit scruffier, and our gardens less perfect and we will not buy the new car, furniture, kitchen and clothes (or consume our life with shopping and earning and paying for them) and our kids will be put into fewer frazzling extra-curricular activities that they will—guaranteed!!—eventually drop. If we don’t drop before they do!

God willing, we will slow down the pace of our treadmill, one by one dropping the activities and time-and-life-sucking trivial imposed “duties” we most despise.

We will become ourselves, as star differs from star in splendour (1 Cor: 15:41).

We will slow down; we will not conform; we will dare to be different; we will slowly exchange the crazy of our lives for the King.

Do not be afraid. Revise your life until is as slow, holy, star-filled, peaceful and dreamy as your soul desires.

Do not be afraid. Why not be totally changed into fire?