Anita Mathias | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Learning to Listen: A Guest Post by Diana Trautwein

I am honoured to host Diana Trautwein. Listen up as she teaches us to listen well!

Many years ago, one of my dearest friends pinpointed a particular problem of mine: I wasn’t really listening when she talked to me.

Oh, I was physically present, with my body turned towards her, ‘hearing’ her words. But I was not truly listening. She told me that I seldom made eye contact and seemed to be constantly distracted by everything else that was going on around us.

Ouch. Her words stung, as the truth so often does.

After a minute or two of denial, I had to admit that she was right on target. I had this habit of trying to multi-task when someone was talking to me.

I too often chose that time to scan the room, or the patio, or the restaurant — wherever the conversation was happening — to be sure I wasn’t missing something important going on around me.

As if the person in front of me was not important enough.

Or, I would busily scan an invisible list in my head, checking off tasks that needed to be done.

As if life is all about how much we can do, accomplish or perform.

Almost always, I found myself so concerned about my own response to whatever I was hearing, that I had little interior space to simply receive the words of another as the gifts they were.

As if my words, my stories, my experiences were of more intrinsic value than the other person’s.

I was there. But. . . I wasn’t. Physical presence? Yes, assuredly. Emotional presence? Not so much.

For most of my life, I have been a busy person, involved in numerous activities and commitments. From family to church to philanthropic groups to running a small business from my home, to attending seminary, to working in the parish setting — I’ve kept my plate full.

My friend’s words came when I was a seminary student, still managing a floral business, and also serving as a pastoral intern at the church we both attended.

I was over-extended, over-tired and emotionally overdrawn. The well was dry.

Listening, really listening, to anyone became increasingly difficult for me to do. Something had to give, priorities needed to be realigned, and I desperately needed to learn what it meant to pay attention to the lives and stories of other people, most especially people near and dear to me.

At about the same time, I began to learn more about the spiritual disciplines and practices of the Christian church, both ancient and contemporary. And it was here that I began to find my way to the center, the center of myself and the center of my faith.

It was here that I began to learn how to listen.

Every single book I read, prayer retreat I attended, or class I took pointed me in the same direction: learning to still myself from the inside out. Let me hasten to add that I still do not do this perfectly — far from it. But I am on the road, learning as I go.

Along the way, I have learned to talk less and to listen more. The practices of centering prayer, lectio divina, breath prayers, the Jesus Prayer, the exercises of St. Ignatius — each of these and all of these help to point me in the direction of stillness, silence and attentiveness.

Over the course of the last twenty years, I have discovered deep reservoirs of grace and compassion that are available to me if I will take the time to dip my toes into the waters of my own baptism. And then those same gospel gifts are passed along through me as I take what I’m learning into conversations, email correspondence and spiritual direction sessions.

Listening became an important part of my own spiritual journey, so much so that I began to prayerfully discern God’s call for me to enter spiritual direction and then to offer it. Last year, I completed three years of study and practice, and now meet monthly with several people. Together, we sit in the presence of the Holy Spirit and listen to how God has been at work in their lives since last we met.

And, by the grace of God, I no longer scan the room, peruse an invisible list of tasks, or assemble a clever response to whatever I’m being told.

Instead, I listen, with my ears, with my eyes and with my heart.

Diana R.G. Trautwein

Married to her college sweetheart for over 45 years, Diana is always wondering about things. She answers to Mom from their three adult kids and to Nana from their 8 grandkids, ranging in age from 3 to 22. For 17 years, after a mid-life call to ministry, she answered to Pastor Diana in two churches where she served as Associate. Since retiring at the end of 2010, she spends her time working as a spiritual director and writes twice weekly on her own blog, JustWondering, monthly at A Deeper Family, occasionally for Prodigal Magazine, and soon, occasionally for She Loves Magazine. For as long as she can remember, Jesus has been central to her story and the church an extension of her family. Not that either church or family is exactly perfect . . . but then, that’s what makes life interesting, right?

The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth (Part III)

By Anita Mathias

Part III of my extended puzzled meditation on Jesus’s Beatitude “The Meek Inherit the Earth.” Part I is here and Part II here.

Okay, but how do the fiery become meek?

Being meek, I’m guessing, is a learned trait. Moses, later known as the meekest man on earth, once, impulsively, killed an Egyptian he saw bullying a Hebrew.

The murder resulted in decades of “slow time,” hanging out in the wilderness in solitude, until he slowed down enough to notice the bush burning in holy ground. And, at the risk of his life, he learnt to obey, becoming someone to whom God spoke “face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.” (Ex 33:11).

We become meek the same way we develop any of the traits Jesus prizes, like agape love.

Firstly, we ask Jesus to change our hearts and create in us a gentle spirit like his.

And secondly, when he sends us “practice papers,” we try to pass them. People may provoke and annoy us. Will we answer with patience and wisdom and leave the issue in the hands of him who judges justly? Or flare up, answer harshness with harshness, defend ourselves and attack?

Jesus, the Meek, Gentle Man who Changed History

Jesus went to his death with the gentleness and dignity which were foretold of him.

He will not storm or rage,

Nor will his voice be heard in the streets. (Matt.12 19-21)

As a sheep before its shearers is dumb,

So he opened not his mouth. (Isaiah 42:2)

The die was cast against him by the time he faced Annas, Caiaphas and Pilate. He was a man caught in a machine. Had he protested, stormed, raged, cried, cursed, denounced, or created a scene, he would have still died.

But had he not behaved with self-possessed meekness and quiet dignity-(so unusual for a tortured, brutalized man standing trial for his life that Pilate awed, and a little afraid, asked him, “Who are you? Are you a king?”) the death of this innocent Lamb of God who atoned for the sins of the entire world would not have reverberated down the centuries.

The hardened Roman centurion, observing him die, would not have said, “Truly this man was the son of God,” as we say 20 centuries later, as we watch “The Passion of the Christ,” for instance.

And sometimes the meek die with the most toys too.

Here’s a common one from the Book of Untrue Proverbs: He who dies with the most toys wins.

He who dies with the most holiday homes, swimming pools, tennis courts, fancy cars, private planes, boats, jewellery and companies wins.

But read between the lines of their obituaries, and you’ll often find isolation, joyless self-indulgence, depression, paranoia, bizarre eccentricities, addiction, infidelity, divorce, familial breakdown, and lawsuits.

Conversely, however, the blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no sorrow to it (Proverbs 10:12). Jesus says that it can be our father’s good pleasure to give us the things the pagans run after—(which may take the form of giving us the good sense and opportunity to enjoy things without owning them) and, besides, the beautiful Kingdom.

* * *

I was mentored by a deep Christian woman, Lolly Dunlap, when I lived in America in my thirties.

Now, I didn’t think I was materialistic then, would have hotly refuted the suggestion, and, in fact, looked down on those whom I judged to be materialistic with a touch of disdain.

But oddly, when I chattered to Roy or close friends, you’d hear me say, “Well, when we make some money we will buy a house on the water; or a vacation home in the mountains or by the sea; a boat, a camper van…”

* * *

Well, Lolly was an absolutely unworldly woman, gentle, generous and trusting. She was constantly giving me gifts, her beloved books, poems she had written, beautifully transcribed, or hand-painted capodimonte porcelain roses!

And, to my amusement, I slowly discovered that this God-immersed unworldly women, married to a church-planter passionate about building Christ’s Kingdom, owned all the things I then planned to buy “when I had money!”

She owned a mountain cabin near Shenandoah National Park with 100 acres around it, from which she could see three states. She had a house on the water in Norfolk. She had a boat. She had a camper van, in which she used to go on long holidays in the lake-filled Voyageurs National Park, Canada.

How did she get all this? Her husband, John Dunlap, was a church planter–one of the post war breed of entrepreneurial, visionary American evangelicals–who founded the famous Tab church in Norfolk (which spawned several daughter churches, including the Williamsburg Community Chapel, which I attended), Triple R Ranch, Norfolk Christian Schools, Norfolk Institute of Learning Disabilities, and a long-running very popular radio programme.

They had three children, and were generous givers who lived simply. However, John Dunlap was an insomniac with a gift—repairing clocks. And so he bought antique broken clocks for a song, repaired them, and then traded them. One weekend, he went to a fair in North Carolina, with an antique clock he’d repaired, and traded up, and traded up, and returned with a used camper van. He similarly traded up from a clock to a boat.

Dunlap inherited $10,000 dollars, and used part of it to buy a cabin and a hundred acres near Shenandoah National Park, as well as Triple R Ranch, a Christian camp that has blessed thousands.

Fear not, little flock, for it is your father’s pleasure to give you the kingdom. So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well, Matthew 6: 31-33.

And so you can die with the Kingdom of God, its righteousness, its shalom and peace (and if it is your father’s pleasure, with the toys which enhance your joy.)

Why is it so hard to believe that the meek inherit the earth?

Because, in the short run, the pushy, the ruthless, the scheming, the manipulative, the deceitful, and those without conscience do seem to win the prize. They apparently get their own way, get away with it.

And this is where practical faith comes in. Christian faith is not mere assent that Christ Jesus was the Son of God, who came to redeem us. That’s just the starting point. Faith is also believing what he taught: that one can walk in gentleness and integrity, and still be given the things the pagans run after (Mt 6:32-33).

Have you—or your children—ever lost something they wanted while they watched more pushy, aggressive or manipulative people get it? I have. But I have not suffered permanent harm because of these out-manoeuvrings, and neither have my children.

* * *

“Manipulate,” literally means taking things into one’s own hands. And then, all you get is what your hands can grab. “God helps those who help themselves” is not in the Bible, contrary to popular opinion; trusting and relying on God, depending on God, however, is a consistent exhortation.

But, in fact, when tempted to take matters into your own hands, to work harder, network harder, hustle harder, it is good sometimes to just stop, and pray for blessing. To re-align yourself with God.

To remember that, ultimately, wealth, power and success are in the hands of God and he gives them to whom he pleases, (I Chron 29:12). To remember that the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof.

To remember that all things are God’s, and that it is our Father’s good pleasure to give us the things the pagans run after. When the time is right, and as much as is good for us.

The discipline of trusting God rather than taking matters into our own hands, using the weapons of this world is a hard one to learn.

But worth it! The meek might lose battles, but win the war. Lose in the short run, but in the long run, develop some of the gentleness of Jesus. Become the kind of people whom both God and man want to help.

By being meek, we often set the stage for another power to rescue us. It has been so in my experience. And we experience some of the mysterious blessings of God. “You shall inherit what others have toiled for.” (Psalm 105:44). “To the one who pleases him, God gives wisdom and knowledge and joy, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and heaping only to give to the one who pleases the Lord.” (Ecc 2:26).

* * *

How can we know that the meek really do inherit the earth? That it is safe to be meek?

We can only know it experimentally and experientially. We just have to try it and see.

And here, I take a deep breath, for meekness does not come easily to me.

But I want to learn of Jesus who was meek and humble of heart. I know his ways are best, and so I am going to set my face to follow him, and so find rest for my soul.

An excerpt from my ebook and paperback, The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth available on kindle and PB on

Amazon UK

Amazon.com

The Earth Belongs to Those who Take Time to Enjoy It

By Anita Mathias

Part II of my extended meditation on The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth. Here’s Part I.

Do the meek really inherit the earth?

“The earth,” or την γην, ten gen, to the Jewish mind signified the beloved land, Eretz Israel, the promised, longed-for land of Canaan. It was used “as a proverbial expression to denote any great blessing, perhaps as the sum of all blessings,” (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible). So the meek inherit it all, the whole enchilada.

Indeed, some Bible commentaries suggest that meekness contributes to success, even economic success. And I believe this paradox is true!

The value of meekness, even in regard to worldly property and success in life, is often exhibited in the Scriptures. It is also seen in common life that a meek, patient, mild man is the most prospered. An impatient and quarrelsome man raises up enemies; often loses property in lawsuits; spends his time in disputes and broils rather than in sober, honest industry; and is harassed, vexed, and unsuccessful in all that he does. Barnes’ Notes on the Bible.

“These meek ones are happy, even in this world. Meekness promotes wealth, comfort, and safety, even in this world.” Matthew Henry’s Commentary.

Hmm… Are there other benefits of meekness?

Meekness produces peace. It is proof of true greatness of soul. It comes from a heart too great to be moved by little insults. He that is constantly ruffled; that suffers every little insult or injury to throw him off his guard and to raise a storm of passion within, is at the mercy of every mortal that chooses to disturb him. He is like “the troubled sea that cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt.” Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

Meekness is essential for marital harmony and long continued friendships. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger, Prov. 15:1. I look back and wonder how many of our marital quarrels could have been averted by a mild answer? How many friendships would I have saved?

And Even Fairy Tales Sing It: The Meek Inherit the Earth

The deep wish, or the deep truth, that the meek inherit the earth is embedded in myth and fairy tale: think of Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White or Psyche.

In Scripture, in fairy tales and in real life, there is a special favour and protection extended to the youngest, who is generally the meekest, the gentlest, the least powerful, the most innocent, and the most in need of protection. Kindness to the meek comes instinctively to most human beings and is encoded in our natures (though not in everyone’s: there are bullies, among Christians as well as non-Christians).

In fact, the Earth belongs to those who have time for it

Isaiah saw the Lord, high and lifted up, while the seraphim flew around him and cried, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”

It throbs with it. It sings with it.

And to whom does this glorious earth belong?

Not to those who own hundreds of its acres but lack the time to step out in them.

Not to those who are so preoccupied with acquiring or maintaining their possessions that they have no time to enjoy in the great simple gifts given unasked: sunrise and sunset, maples blazing in autumn, the moon sailing through winter skies, daffodils and bluebells in spring, and late summer evenings, when the world is golden.

The earth belongs to those who have the time to enjoy it.

It’s not necessary to own land to enjoy it; you just need to be out in it, with a quiet heart, not one anxious or distracted.

The earth belongs to those who have time for it: to observe it, admire it, love it, and walk out on it.

The earth belongs to those whose heart is calm and stilled so they are able to slow down and appreciate the beauty of the earth, the ever-changing canvas of the skies, which, day by day, hour by hour, silently proclaims the glory of God.

And, mysteriously, Scripture tells us that the meek will inherit this earth. In a way we do not understand, it will be given to them.

* * *

The meek inherit the earth is one of Jesus’s apparently lunatic propositions like “Give and you shall receive, full measure, pressed down, flowing over.”

What kind of math is this? Addition by subtraction, gaining by losing, cracking yourself open like a grain of wheat to gain a mighty harvest.

It is the mysterious mathematics of the Kingdom of God, in which everything happens because of the X Factor, the secret power of God.

And that is the only way these paradoxes work: that in giving, we receive full measure; and that one might be mild and gentle, and still “inherit the earth.”

Religious people are sometimes accused of checking their brains by the front door. In this case, yes, I guess I am doing it.

I am taking it on faith that the meek inherit the earth because Jesus says they do, and whenever I have experimented with his words I have discovered that he is, indeed, absolutely right.

Read Part III here.

An excerpt from my ebook and paperback The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth available on kindle and paperback on

Amazon UK

Amazon.com

The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth

By Anita Mathias

I looked at the programme for “The Greenbelt Festival: Where Faith, Arts and Justice” collide, and blinked at the title of a talk: “The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth.” The description read: Based on the story of Naboth’s vineyard as a perennial tale of land and dispossession. The presentation takes us into the temple with Isaiah as he reaches the depths of despair, to the outer court of the temple as Jeremiah denounces the king, to the Peruvian rainforest as the army confronts indigenous people and to the Scottish Highlands as the people are cleared from the land to make way for sheep. It ends on the hillsides of Galilee”.

* * *

I was startled: What?

“Does anyone really believe that the meek inherit the earth?” I asked my husband, Roy.

Roy said, “Well, Jesus said they did. If you believe the words of Jesus, you’d believe it.”

Oh! I see.

These paradoxes are, indeed, a golden thread running through the teaching of Jesus: Those who give -time, energy, money- receive far more than they have given. Seed sown yields an exponential harvest. The greatest is she who blesses other people. Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who can take the lower place will be exalted by God.

* * *

But, you see, I once was young and now am middle-aged, and so my initial reaction is, “What? The meek inherit the earth?” Well, if that’s true, then perhaps I didn’t understand “meek,” “inherit” or “the earth!”

And so I settled down with a Bible, a journal, and a thermos of green tea for some deadly serious Jesus-and-me time.

Because what I believe about these questions is crucial: Do the meek inherit the earth, or don’t they? Is what Jesus says true, or isn’t it? My answers will determine the direction of my life and how I live it.

So what is meekness?

Meekness is a quality of soul and character, unrelated to economics, social status or education. The New Testament word “meek,” πραεις, praeis, describes those who have a mild, quiet, gentle spirit, in opposition to the proud and supercilious.

“The meek are those who quietly submit to God; who can bear insult; are silent, or return a soft answer; who, in their patience, keep possession of their own souls, when they can scarcely keep possession of anything else. These meek ones are happy, even in this world,” Matthew Henry’s Commentary.

* * *

Roy is a mathematician, and has a more logical mind than I do (or so he tells me!) He pointed out that I was puzzled by Jesus’ statement that the meek inherit the earth because I was instinctively equating the meek with the poor. But this is a false equation.

Poverty does not necessarily bring out meekness and gentleness. Friends who worked with Heidi Baker’s Iris Ministries in the bush of Mozambique wrote that though they had brought enough food to distribute, the desperately hungry people fought “like wolves” for the food, so they moved on, without distributing what they had.

Jan Sassenberg who works in Sierra Leone, one of the poorest countries in the world, wrote in a guest post on my blog “Dreaming Beneath the Spires” of being “overwhelmed by the vastness of the suffering around us. Children beaten mercilessly and dying needlessly.”

In contrast, we noticed during a recent holiday in Sweden, one of the richest countries in the world, that children were brought up affectionately and with good humour. (Sweden was, incidentally, in 1979, one of the first countries in the world to outlaw the spanking of children.)

The poor are not necessarily the meek. These countries lead the world in homicide rates—Honduras, El Salvador, Venezuela, Guatemala, Belize, Columbia, Trinidad, South Africa, and Brazil. The most dangerous countries for women are Afghanistan, The Democratic Republic of Congo, Pakistan, India and Somalia. And when it comes to physical abuse and economic exploitation of children, the worst countries include India, Nigeria, Zambia, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Thailand, Cambodia, Myanmar, Vietnam, and Laos. All these countries have a low per capita income.

Poverty can bring stress, anxiety, bitterness, jealousy, and increased temptations to dishonesty. It can also bring empathy, gratitude, an appreciation of simple pleasures, family bonding and closeness.

Some very poor people are meek and gentle, and some are not, just as some rich and successful people are meek and gentle, and some are not. I have met humble, gentle people at High Table in Oxford Colleges and at Oxford’s magical garden parties—as well as, of course, the opposite. And I have met prickly, arrogant poor people—as well as, of course, the opposite.

Why should I be meek?

Because I am a Christian, and Jesus wants to teach us meekness so our souls may find rest. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matt 11 28-30).

And rest is one of the pearls of great price in life. These include: health, love, friendship, fascinating work, and enough money to live a stimulating culture-filled, low-hassle life. And mental peace, shalom.

Without inner peace and well-being, shalom, one cannot fully enjoy the rest of these.

And Jesus promises–to those who are meek and humble like him–the rest and peace we need to enjoy the earth.

* * *

Meekness, like humility, is an abstract concept, best understood and illuminated by its opposite.

The opposite of humility is pride. Pride steals our rest and peace. It makes entertaining stressful. Wastes time and money in the effort to keep up appearances and impress. Leads to conflict in trivial things. It makes us overwork. It blights creativity with perfectionism instead of making peace with good enough. And adds a special twist of bitterness to failure, making it feel like death.

What’s the opposite of meekness? Being pushy, aggressive, loud and overbearing. Self-centred, manipulative, deceitful and scheming. Would you want to be like that? To achieve your heart’s desires? To gain the whole earth, so to speak.

I would not. I would loathe “unmeekness” as a way of life. The stress would not be worth it.

And people instinctively resist the pushy, aggressive and manipulative. Not only do you not find God on your side—for “God resists the proud,” as the Apostle James writes, you may well find the world of men resisting you.

Besides, it is safe to be meek.

There is really no need to be pushy, scheming, manipulative or aggressive.

Why?

Because we live in a world charged with the power of God, and so don’t need to push and shove, manoeuvre and intrigue our way through life.

Because the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof.

Because the whole earth throbs with his glory.

Because we do not have because we do not ask (James 4:3), and we have but to ask to receive (Matthew 7:7).

Because he can give me what he pleases without my having to scheme how to get or grab it.

Because when I look out for myself, he lets me.

But when I let him look out for me, he lets me, too.

And I know which is better.

* * *

An excerpt from my ebook and paperback The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth available on kindle and paperback on

Amazon UK

Amazon.com

Part II: The Earth Belongs to Those who Take the Time to Enjoy It.

In which Birds Teach us Not to Worry

By Anita Mathias

We can worship God in church, and we can worship God while walking through the spectacular natural world he made, which is full of clues to his character. The heavens declare God’s glory, without words.

Trees, the ocean, the day and the seasons tell of a God who loves beauty, who made all things well, who offers us rhythms as a gift, alternating periods of blazing bright and quiescence, when we gather strength for the next period of full flourishing.

* * *

I think Christ uses examples from the natural world most tenderly when he assures us that the Father feeds the birds of the air, who do not sow or reap or store away in barns, (Matt 6: 25-34).

Or that he clothes in glory the lilies of the field who do not labour and spin. He watches the sparrow, his eyes full of delight.

And we are more valuable.

So do not worry about your life, about the future, Jesus says. Your father is watching you, as you, with delight, watch the finches at your feeder, for whom you’ve laid out food and fat and water. You are under his protection.

* * *

Do not worry.

Not worrying is a mental discipline we learn with practice, just as writing well, or running fast are creative and physical disciplines we learn with practice.

So I am training myself to be calm, relaxed and super-chilled, to go through my day peacefully.

* * *

Norman Vincent Peale describes, in one of his Positive Thinking books, being hustled from event to event at a conference he was speaking at. He was finally gets to his room, and is told, “Dinner in 10 minutes.” “Yes, yes,” he says nervously, and looks around stressed. Then he realises he doesn’t care if he missed dinner. He could get room service.

He lies down, falls asleep, wakes up twenty minutes later, refreshed, calmly snaps on his bow-tie, and goes to dinner. He had only missed the pre-dinner speaker and the soup, and by all accounts neither was good.

* * *

Kathleen Chesto writes, “A story is told of a safari in the Serengeti. A researcher was rushing to the mating grounds of the African elephant. He had started late and pushed his porters relentlessly to arrive by mating season. On the fourth day, the porters sat down and refused to move. The translator explained they would go no farther until they had given their spirits time to catch up with them.”

Peale waited for his spirit to catch up with him, only missed the soup, and did his evening peacefully

* * *

One thing I have learned from the Peale story, which I think of every time I am running late is that rushing and stress are simply not worth it. If I am running late, I don’t look at the clock at home, or in the car. I get there when I get there, and enjoy it, and if I’ve missed the soup, so be it.

(Must add though, that having been the girl who always ran late all my life, in mid-life I have realised that being late is a choice, which I don’t need to make. It’s stressful, and a bit rude. Am getting my act together and re-configuring things so that I am late less often.)

* * *

Another area in which I have decided not to worry is my blog. Interestingly, we cannot control the most important factor in the success of our blogs: i.e. how many people read it. Normally, the number of my readers or “Unique Monthly Visitors” in blog and Google parlance rises, month on month. When it drops, in summer or December, I wonder if I should write more.

However, I cannot, at present, see how I could write more, or devote more time to my blog without neglecting the other things God has given me to do—I want to work on a book. I am a wife, and mother, own a house and a garden and a body which I need to exercise. I am a spiritual being, and I need to nurture my relationship with God from which, truly, everything flows.

And so, having spent 30 minutes drafting a blog, I need to lay it aside for the day, and when I am worried that it is static, I need to pray about it as I go about my day.

For it is a Christian blog, and the meat of good Christian writing comes from surrender, from burrowing more deeply into the holy things of God and reporting your findings, and that can be done while gardening or walking.

And so if I find myself worrying if my blog will ever grow, I pray instead that I may know Christ more, and that he may bless my blog, and give me whatever ideas he may have for its growth. For he is kind, and his ideas will lead to energy, not exhaustion.

And so I lean in, and listen instead of worrying–and ideas come.

So that is my rule for myself vis-à-vis my blog: I am not allowed to worry. I am allowed to pray, for blessing, for ideas, for strategy. And, oddly, that simple rule will work for every area of my life.

It was like a Church to me: Port Meadow, Oxford, at Sunset

By Anita Mathias

Port Meadow (Oxford) at Sunset.

Port Meadow (Oxford) at Sunset.

I walked last night on Port Meadow. An extraordinary experience! The blazing ball of sun slowly floated into the Thames, colouring it crimson.

An amazing natural event I have too often missed! Spectacular beauty lavished on anyone who would take a few minutes to observe it.

Wild geese arrived honking, with a beating of wings, settling in to their night homes on the river. Seagulls flew overhead, dropping shells, having eaten the mussel.

Graceful swans with impossibly elongated necks tucked them under their wings, ready to sleep. Baby ducks followed their mothers. Golden retrievers bounded.

There was perfect peace.

The sky stretched huge massive and endless over the flat expanse of Port Meadow. It reminded me of the Big Sky when we drove through Montana.

And I kept thinking:
The Heavens declare the glory of God
The firmament shows forth the work of his hands
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world. (Psalm 19)

Port Meadow (Oxford) at Sunset.

And here’s a poem by R. S. Thomas, about a similar experience

The Moor

It was like a church to me.
I entered it on soft foot,
Breath held like a cap in the hand.
It was quiet.
What God there was made himself felt,
Not listened to, in clean colours
That brought a moistening of the eye,
In a movement of the wind over grass.

There were no prayers said. But stillness
Of the heart’s passions — that was praise
Enough; and the mind’s cession
Of its kingdom. I walked on,
Simple and poor, while the air crumbled
And broke on me generously as bread.

What I Am Up To

By Anita Mathias

Coffee with some lovely women from my St. Andrew’s women’s group

It’s well and truly summer. At last, and long overdue. School broke up on the 12^th of July, which does seem very late, doesn’t it?

The Cwmbran Revival

We went as a family to the revival meetings at Cwmbran, Wales on a Saturday. It was moving to see the hall packed with people, praying, worshipping God. Whether it is a revival or not is irrelevant; that’s just semantics. What I enjoyed was spending hours worshipping God, hours in the presence of God, and I received a vision/image of the future of my work which was encouraging and energizing. In the presence of God is creativity, reassurance that you are on the right path, and guidance. And love, so much love.

My sense is that it is going to take continued surrender, humility and repentance on the part of the leaders of the Cwmbran revival to make sure the revival remains spirit-led, not ambition-led. I think we should adopt the approach of Gamaliel, “For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

* * *

I went to a Festival of Prayer at Ripon College, Cuddeson. Quite a treat to see robed Benedictine and Franciscan monks, Anglican Franciscans. Would have thought that was a contradiction in terms.

Enjoyed the sessions on contemplative prayer, especially the Jesus prayer which we said together like the waves of a sea, rising and falling, profoundly calming.

* * *

Enjoyed coffee with Malcolm Guite, brilliant poet, priest, theologian, and writer. A fountain of free-associating ideas from poetry and theology. What a treat. He invited me to listen to his talk at the Inklings Conference on the treasures of the Kingdom, which was also a treat.

And I’ve visited William Morris’s house, Kelmscott Manor with Writers in Oxford. Beautiful furniture, and a very spacious roomy house—Morris had inherited money, and used it well to support his owncreativity and that of others. Which is a Godly thing to do. The very first thing we are told about God, in the first line of the Bible, is this: In the Beginning, God Created!

* * *

I took part in Oxford’s Race for Life—Wow!! Very ra-ra-ra, all war metaphors, Cancer, we are coming to get you, Cancer, we are kicking your butt.

Six thousand women gathered together for a common cause. I found being there, part of the great democracy of women quite an emotional experience, because I am usually an introvert who avoids crowds.

Women of every age, from toddlers to determined grannies, of several races, and of every social class, judging by the snatches of overheard conversations as I plodded along, and by the accents, for in England, though less so that than previously, accent is a still an indicator of social class.

Thousands of women in pink, some with pink gauzy skirts, angel wings, anteannae, babies in buggies.

I imagine Pentecost happened to such a polyglot motley crew.

It was a triumph of organization. Could churches get together like this, to raise money, say for global universal literacy, perhaps as in Britain’s original Sunday Schools which used the Bible as a textbook for learning to read? Ah, dreaming now…

* * *

Film

We enjoyed “The Way,” a beautifully shot film about the Camino de Santiago, the 500 mile pilgrimage route to Santiago de Compostela in Spain, the reputed site of the bones of the Apostle James. It seemed spectacularly beautiful, redolent of history. We want to do part of all of it.

Interesting theme. Most of the characters encountered on the Way had unlived lives, and had not chased their dreams for fear of poverty or failure or being different.

The four main characters had varying degrees of psychological distress because they were holding on to false images of themselves. Jack, the writer, thought he was blocked and could not write, because he was writing what he thought would sell not what he really wanted to. Sarah, the brassy angry Canadian, consumed by anger over her forced abortion and violent marriage, gets in touch with her heart. Joost, an obese kindly Dutchman, is walking to lose some weight, but realizes he really does love food, just not in excess, and makes peace with himself, and his weight. And the grieving father, victim of the American way of work, work, work, and then you die, who has suppressed huge areas of himself, sees other ways of living, explores his unexplored potential.

We are also tremendously enjoying the B.B.C’s “Desperate Romantics” about the Pre-Raphaelite painters.

With our friends, Russ and Malissa Kilpatrick

And Zoe, 18, has well and truly graduated from High School. She won the Head’s Award for Academic Excellence, her school’s Award for Academic Excellence in Religious Studies, and a Commendation for Achievement in Philosophy–a fistful of book tokens.

We put Zoe and Irene in private school after buying our dream house, and I ended up founding a small publishing company to pay the fees. Roy was a mathematician at the time, and I was an aspiring writer. 7 years on, Roy has taken early retirement from Maths (in 2010) and is running the company full time, and I am a blogger, as well as a writer. The kids’ education has taken our whole family on an unexpected adventure!

Zoe has an offer to read Theology at Jesus College, Cambridge. On to the next chapter!

Next on her schedule, though, is an internship at Catch the Fire, Toronto starting in September. Interns come from a minimum of 10 countries, so it should be an amazing experience for her.

* * *

Last week, Irene went on a school trip to the First World War battlefields in France and Belgium which she found profoundly moving. She’s now at a Christian camp at Lymington Rushmore, part of the The Titus Trust outreach to girls and boys at private schools nationwide. A strategy, incidentally, that works.

Irene, 14, is an all-rounder academically. Her reports commented on her intelligence beyond her years! Her passion is reading and English. I am trying to talk her into taking up theology like her sister (unsuccessfully, so far!).

* * *

Favourite book this month—Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly

Linking up with Leigh Kramer

Quit Worrying about your Savings Plan: Jesus

By Anita Mathias

Image credit

Jesus was a spectacularly loving person, caring and reaching out right through his crucifixion— so when he speaks about money, we’d be wise to listen up.

We’d be wise to listen because his desire, the reason he said he came, was for the fullest human flourishing, that we may have LIFE in abundance.

We’d be wise to listen because he only speaks in kindness.

* * *

I am re-reading the Sermon on the Mount. There has been a Christian conspiracy down the ages to quietly ignore parts of it.

But I bet Jesus meant it when he said “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, but rather store up for yourself treasures in heaven.” He’s consistent in this advice: Do not labour for food which perishes, but for food which endures to eternal life.

* * *

The standard financial advice is to keep 6 months salary in cash at all times, (and to have 10 times your final salary in cash or stocks by the time you retire).

In other words, save enough to ensure that you can live without needing to trust God, without needing to lean on his ingenious ideas, and without needing to see his miracles and deliverances.

There is no kindness nor God-wisdom in this advice, but a lot of self-imposed deprivation, of harsh treatment of the present.

Six months salary in cash at all times; ten times final salary squirrelled away–think of how much fun and adventure and experience and opportunities for kindness and generosity and hospitality we miss out on with this sterile focus on saving enough money so that we will never have to rely on God’s kindness or generosity. So that we can, completely erroneously, perceive ourselves to be invulnerable.

* * *

There is a popular cliché about work-life balance: Nobody on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office’. What is more likely is that nobody ever said on his deathbed, “I wish I had more money.”

But we may well wish we’d travelled more, seen more theatre, more film, read more books, taken more friends out to dinner, been more generous to our children, instead of working so darn hard, saving so much.

Stop worrying about saving for the future. And do not waste today worrying about the future.

This radical statement is, in fact, a sacred command. Do not worry about tomorrow Jesus says, setting us free, great liberator that he is.

* * *

The effects of 2008 world-wide credit crunch, and the subsequent contraction of economies are lingering. It’s probably a safe bet that many of my readers will not be on track to have ten times their final salary by the time they retire.

And neither am I!!

But, truthfully, I am not worried.

(If I received a cheque in the mail for ten years salary, I would bank most of it. But, in its absence, I would not deprive myself of travel or generosity or what is necessary for the flourishing of my work, or my family’s flourishing because I do not have 3-6 months salary in the bank and my retirement is not properly funded. I would not, however, go into debt, or put more on my credit card than I can pay in full this month for anything, except food.)

* * *

And that is why the Gospel is good news to the poor. Guys, do not worry, Jesus says, soaring into sublimity. The God who cares for the sparrows and lilies will care for you. Seek God today, and let Him worry about tomorrow.

It is splendid advice, and, with God’s help, I intend to follow it.

* * *

I once read some research that tracked people’s thoughts through the day. The top things women thought about were 1) their hair!! 2) money. How much they have, how to save, what to buy, how to get bargains, how much money others have, how they got it. Women thought more about money and their hair than sex, the study observed. Men, on the other hand…

However, why not gradually shift our focus in the direction Jesus suggests–to focus on alternative eternal treasures—and fill our bodies with light? In Matthew 13, in a slew of metaphors, living in God’s kingdom is consistently referred to as treasure: the treasure in a field, the pearl of great price worth selling everything to buy.

Why not slowly develop the habit of eating Scripture, this treasure hidden from the busy? Develop the habit of Scripture meditation, an acquired taste in our fast-fast world of distraction. Start small, start with a short time, and increase it as the appetite grows for time with Jesus in quiet eternal realms which stretch and expand.

* * *

Scripture meditation yields great rewards. Paul Meier M.D. found in his study of the psychological and mental health and spiritual lives of evangelical seminary students that students who practiced almost daily Scripture meditation for three years or longer were significantly healthier and happier than students who did not meditate on Scripture daily.

Or as Jesus might have said, their whole body was full of light.

* * *

For what we focus on determines the course of our lives. If our eye is good (“good eye” opthalmos haplos in Greek, refers to generosity) our whole body is full of light. If on, the other hand, our eye is bad, (evil eye, Greek ophthalos poneros, refers to stinginess or greediness) our whole body is full of darkness.

When I think of the most generous people I know, there is a lightness and loveliness to them. And when I think of the most stingy, money-focused people I know—who cannot part with money, cannot force themselves to be generous, who will manipulate others into helping them, but rarely help others—there is a kind of darkness in their lives. The English word miser comes from the Latin miser, “unhappy, wretched, pitiable, in distress.” The focus on money clouds their hearts and lives in darkness.

Whoa, Jesus, so many things you say are literally true!!

anita.mathias