generosity | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Giving: A Counter-Intuitive Secret to “Getting Ahead”

Adam Grant

I often think of a fascinating New York Times Magazine article “Is Giving the Secret to Getting Ahead,” I read a few months ago.

“Giving as the Secret to Getting Ahead,” profiles Adam Grant, 31, the youngest tenured professor at Wharton Business School, and author of “Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success,” who studies and practices generosity as a way of life and work. (This eccentric post is a sort of précis of the brilliant article, chock-full of direct quotes. Back to regular programming soon)

“For Adam Grant, helping is not the enemy of productivity, a time-sapping diversion from the actual work at hand; it is the mother lode, the motivator that spurs increased productivity and creativity.

“The greatest untapped source of motivation, he argues, is a sense of service to others; focusing on the contribution of our work to other people’s lives has the potential to make us more productive than thinking about helping ourselves.”

“Grant sees an in-box filled with requests not a task to be dispensed with perfunctorily (or worse, avoided); it’s an opportunity to help people, and therefore it’s an opportunity to feel good about yourself and your work.”

“The message sounds terrific: Feel good about your work, and get more of it done, and bask in the appreciation of all the people you help along the way. Nice guys can finish first! ’’ [Read more…]

Quit Worrying about your Savings Plan: Jesus

By Anita Mathias

Image credit

Jesus was a spectacularly loving person, caring and reaching out right through his crucifixion— so when he speaks about money, we’d be wise to listen up.

We’d be wise to listen because his desire, the reason he said he came, was for the fullest human flourishing, that we may have LIFE in abundance.

We’d be wise to listen because he only speaks in kindness.

* * *

I am re-reading the Sermon on the Mount. There has been a Christian conspiracy down the ages to quietly ignore parts of it.

But I bet Jesus meant it when he said “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, but rather store up for yourself treasures in heaven.” He’s consistent in this advice: Do not labour for food which perishes, but for food which endures to eternal life.

* * *

The standard financial advice is to keep 6 months salary in cash at all times, (and to have 10 times your final salary in cash or stocks by the time you retire).

In other words, save enough to ensure that you can live without needing to trust God, without needing to lean on his ingenious ideas, and without needing to see his miracles and deliverances.

There is no kindness nor God-wisdom in this advice, but a lot of self-imposed deprivation, of harsh treatment of the present.

Six months salary in cash at all times; ten times final salary squirrelled away–think of how much fun and adventure and experience and opportunities for kindness and generosity and hospitality we miss out on with this sterile focus on saving enough money so that we will never have to rely on God’s kindness or generosity. So that we can, completely erroneously, perceive ourselves to be invulnerable.

* * *

There is a popular cliché about work-life balance: Nobody on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office’. What is more likely is that nobody ever said on his deathbed, “I wish I had more money.”

But we may well wish we’d travelled more, seen more theatre, more film, read more books, taken more friends out to dinner, been more generous to our children, instead of working so darn hard, saving so much.

Stop worrying about saving for the future. And do not waste today worrying about the future.

This radical statement is, in fact, a sacred command. Do not worry about tomorrow Jesus says, setting us free, great liberator that he is.

* * *

The effects of 2008 world-wide credit crunch, and the subsequent contraction of economies are lingering. It’s probably a safe bet that many of my readers will not be on track to have ten times their final salary by the time they retire.

And neither am I!!

But, truthfully, I am not worried.

(If I received a cheque in the mail for ten years salary, I would bank most of it. But, in its absence, I would not deprive myself of travel or generosity or what is necessary for the flourishing of my work, or my family’s flourishing because I do not have 3-6 months salary in the bank and my retirement is not properly funded. I would not, however, go into debt, or put more on my credit card than I can pay in full this month for anything, except food.)

* * *

And that is why the Gospel is good news to the poor. Guys, do not worry, Jesus says, soaring into sublimity. The God who cares for the sparrows and lilies will care for you. Seek God today, and let Him worry about tomorrow.

It is splendid advice, and, with God’s help, I intend to follow it.

* * *

I once read some research that tracked people’s thoughts through the day. The top things women thought about were 1) their hair!! 2) money. How much they have, how to save, what to buy, how to get bargains, how much money others have, how they got it. Women thought more about money and their hair than sex, the study observed. Men, on the other hand…

However, why not gradually shift our focus in the direction Jesus suggests–to focus on alternative eternal treasures—and fill our bodies with light? In Matthew 13, in a slew of metaphors, living in God’s kingdom is consistently referred to as treasure: the treasure in a field, the pearl of great price worth selling everything to buy.

Why not slowly develop the habit of eating Scripture, this treasure hidden from the busy? Develop the habit of Scripture meditation, an acquired taste in our fast-fast world of distraction. Start small, start with a short time, and increase it as the appetite grows for time with Jesus in quiet eternal realms which stretch and expand.

* * *

Scripture meditation yields great rewards. Paul Meier M.D. found in his study of the psychological and mental health and spiritual lives of evangelical seminary students that students who practiced almost daily Scripture meditation for three years or longer were significantly healthier and happier than students who did not meditate on Scripture daily.

Or as Jesus might have said, their whole body was full of light.

* * *

For what we focus on determines the course of our lives. If our eye is good (“good eye” opthalmos haplos in Greek, refers to generosity) our whole body is full of light. If on, the other hand, our eye is bad, (evil eye, Greek ophthalos poneros, refers to stinginess or greediness) our whole body is full of darkness.

When I think of the most generous people I know, there is a lightness and loveliness to them. And when I think of the most stingy, money-focused people I know—who cannot part with money, cannot force themselves to be generous, who will manipulate others into helping them, but rarely help others—there is a kind of darkness in their lives. The English word miser comes from the Latin miser, “unhappy, wretched, pitiable, in distress.” The focus on money clouds their hearts and lives in darkness.

Whoa, Jesus, so many things you say are literally true!!

Rich Christians and World Poverty. How much should we give?

By Anita Mathias

god we trust Tithing and the abundant life

So there is unbelievable poverty in the world. But most of us who live in the West have enough to satisfy all our needs and many of our wants.

And, often, the disparity gnaws at us.

How much should we give away?

We feel sad about the suffering of the poor. But we live in the West, we take on the coloration of the West, and our needs become Western, including the need to take a break from the pace of life (our children’s frenetic pace of life, if not ours) and escape distraction by distraction, in Eliot’s phrase. For instance, I don’t particularly covet things any more, but I do enjoy working hard/playing hard, and I love travel and exploration.

* * *

To think what you spend on coffee each could send an African girl to school; your holiday in Europe could support an African family for a year could poison your life with guilt—particularly if you do not in fact give away the money saved (which, I suspect, is often the case!)

But how much should we give away?

The Apostle Peter asked for a concrete figure to appease his conscience.

“How many times should I forgive my brother if he sins against me. Seven times?” he asks magnanimously.

But Jesus does not fall for this. When can I stop forgiving? he hears Peter asking

So he gives a rhetorical, hyperbolic figure, impossible to track. 70 times 7.

Infinitely.

(And I must say that I have probably forgiven Roy and my children that often!)

* * *

Giving away a large percentage of our money, something we have toiled for, worried about, and greatly desire because of the worlds and opportunities it opens to us, is as difficult as forgiveness perhaps.

And so those who lived under law were given a convenient, easily calculated figure–ten percent as a minimum. And then something over that, as their conscience led them, “offerings.”

* * *

For us, under grace, no figure has been given. No easy: “Okay then, ten percent is God’s, and 90 percent all mine.”

But giving ten percent is a useful rule, and will probably unleash much blessing in your life. I have read it in biographies, been told so by friends, and most persuasively, giving 10 percent has always unleashed miracles, windfalls, and unexpected blessing in my life.

* * *

I read in late 2003 in the World Vision magazine, about struggling cherry farmers in Washington State, who wanted to do something about world poverty. They decided to tithe to World Vision, though their business was precarious. And then increased it. Soon, the amount they gave away in tithes each year was the same as their annual salary the year they had started giving. Their income had increased ten-fold, and they were giving away substantial sums! God blessed their business because he trusted them to be a conduit of blessing.

I was so inspired by the fact that ordinary individuals could dent poverty on a small scale, that I decided to increase our base tithe by a percentage point each time we got a financial windfall, a grant, a cash prize, a cash gift. So we were giving 16 percent by the time we left America in 2004. The generosity unleashed blessing.

And then we moved to England, and money was tighter—significantly higher house prices, taxes, and we went private for schooling. Though we had tithed for all our Christian lives, we stopped. We gave, of course, but not ten percent. I led Bible studies as my service to the church.

And we financially struggled for the first two and a half years that I ran my small business–and for the only time in our lives. I wonder now what would have happened if we had tithed!! It wouldn’t surprise me if God would have blessed us with good ideas and good luck, and the tide would have turned sooner.

But there is a toughness and tensile strength of character which is best forged in the school of suffering, and so I do not regret its lessons.

* * *

Though the Old Testament tithe is no longer a requirement to us who are redeemed by the blood of Christ, and live under grace, it is a good starting point. Easy to calculate, and not difficult for almost everyone in the West, and many people in the majority world too. And then, offerings over that, as our heart is moved by specific needs.

I think world poverty would be significantly dented if Christians tithed.

* * *

But we do need to tithe way beyond our little church. The Old Testament tithe supported widows, orphans and aliens in addition to the Levites (Deut 14:28).

If we all gave ten percent of our income to the church we attend, we’ll soon have obscenely overpaid fat-cat pastors in affluent areas, and the money would provide a show on Sunday to rival a concert, and the church could become a club with aerobics classes, weight loss classes, coffee mornings and pamper evenings, being ever more appealing and ever richer, while the poor in the majority world become poorer and poorer. As Larry Burkett points out, tithing in rich, inward-focused, growth-focused churches is essentially tithing to yourself and your church family!!

Not every pitch you hear from the pulpit is motivated by real need. Some are motivated by the pastor’s ambition for glory. Learn to distinguish between what pastors legitimately need to preach the gospel, and which appeals are motivated by ambitious profile-boosting and empire-building. For these sort of appeals will never end.

On the other hand, if we followed the Old Testament model and ensured that 2.5 percent of our income goes to support the local church, and 7.5 goes to support the poor, including “aliens,” our economy will be closer to the one God envisioned, and perhaps there would be few poor among us.

* * *

We ourselves, of course, may have less money than if we did not give. Though not necessarily. Gretchen Rubin, a secular writer who writes on happiness, cites studies that the more one gives, the more one’s wealth increases—perhaps because of the positive feelings that giving and generosity provide, and other people’s respect for the generous. Roy and I first started tithing in 1990, and were amazed at all the little miracles of financial provision which suddenly followed us, seemingly as a consequence.

And if tithing leaves us with less money than we would have had? So what? Less money=less stuff, less distraction, more simple pleasures, and a quieter life. Money truly does not buy happiness beyond a certain point, and most of us, if we track our times of deepest happiness, may discover that they were times of simple pleasures which did not require very much money at all.

The Family For Whom Everything Went Wrong

By Anita Mathias

I once knew a family for whom everything went wrong. Consistently. For instance, the father of the family decided to retile the leaky roof on his house. But when winter came, it wasn’t done, and they all crowded into one room, and all got ill.
They had a massive vegetable garden, kept chickens (this was in America!) but somehow there was never any money. The mother of the family kept telling everyone how many years it was since she had bought a new dress.
If there was illness going around, they caught it. The children were scrawny and sickly. The mother had frequent psychosomatic illnesses which made it painful to her to move, and periodically the church pitched in, taking them meals and cleaning the house. |And then, the house was clean and the children well fed.
The father worked, but was adolescent, demanding home-made blueberry pies for dessert, for instance. The mother was overwhelmed. The children consequently were not particularly brought up, rarely helping about the house.
They switched churches frequently, once they guiltily felt they had exhausted the resources of love and compassion and helpfulness of their current church.
The father had a dead-end, low wage job. He wasn’t particularly bright, and probably didn’t have the greatest career prospects whichever field he entered. And then he got a destructive promotion to an itsy-bitsy managerial position, which meant no paid overtime, which sent the family further downhill. They were never able to keep any cash in the bank.
I and my friends often discussed this family, and wondered why they were financially struggling, when apparently they worked as hard, or harder than other people.

* * *

Interestingly, there was another family in the same church we attended, whose sole breadwinner had exactly the same job. Neither man was particularly brilliant, and the second family had two more children.

Yet, this family thrived. The children worked hard and brought in money from their part-time jobs doing baby-sitting, and yard work. The mother was a genius of thrift. They had many friends who helped them.

What was the difference? Energy, survival smarts, practical intelligence?

And another small thing. I knew both families, and did various small favours for the first family—took meals over, gave them things, hired their kids at overly-generous rates. Nothing helped very much. The other family, when I thought of it, helped me, though I was better off–introducing me to writers they happened to know; giving me useful information on the town I was new to; and lots of practical tips.

The other was essentially a selfish family, never to my knowledge helping anyone, always absorbing the help of others, while not appearing grateful, simply because all the help was just a drop in the bucket compared to their needs. I don’t mean to imply that they decided to be selfish; I mean the struggle to keep their heads above water, and compete—for the mum did have aspirations for her children—absorbed all their energies.

Recently, I put my finger on the essential difference between two families. One was selfish, only looking out for itself. The family that sought to bless other with what they had, even if it was just information and connections, was blessed. They eventually bought a large house in a good part of town on one limited income. The children all went to college. The family that just looked out for itself, never volunteered in church, for instance, did not thrive.

But when I came upon that difference it was an ah-ha moment. Was the selfishness linked to the fact that there was no flow of blessings in their life? I thought of other families I knew, who may have had money, but did not have blessing, as defined by friends who love you, a loving family, an enjoyment of life, health, well-being, shalom. They were all selfish.

Conversely, the families I knew, whether Christian or not, who were blessed with versions of the good life, which is, to my mind, a combination of success to some extent, financial sufficiency, friends, good family relationships, being respected for the content of one’s character, internal peace, were giving families, both on a personal level, and in involvement through volunteerism with the church, community and schools.

It’s the law of the tides. Give even when you are busy and overwhelmed, and blessings come back to you. What you sow, you reap. But to sow sparingly or not at all in the field of life, means a meagre or non-existent harvest. And the surest way to be blessed is to bless.

I realised that the hardest, least blessed times in our family’s life was when we were selfish as a family, trying to conserve time, money and resources, chiefly because we were overwhelmed. Things changed when we decided to be generous and to bless other people in small ways, mainly with money, but also with time and energy.

And I became determined that we would certainly NOT be a selfish family. I began, to look out for small ways our family could bless others. Lending things, giving our things to people we knew who needed them (even buying a replacement on occasion!!), rigorously giving away things we no longer needed, storing things for people, giving money, having people over for meals, helping people move, just sowing good seed into the field of life. Partly because one of the things I really want in life is God’s blessing, and it is in blessing that we are blessed; it is in giving that we receivel it is in sowing that we reap.

Sometimes, when one is busy and overwhelmed, one almost has to decide to, by faith, take the time to help and bless, knowing that that is the sure way to be blessed with the time, energy and blessing one desires oneself.