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Giving: A Counter-Intuitive Secret to “Getting Ahead”

By Anita Mathias

 Adam Grant

Adam Grant

I often think of a fascinating New York Times Magazine article “Is Giving the Secret to Getting Ahead,” I read a few months ago.

“Giving as the Secret to Getting Ahead,” profiles Adam Grant, 31, the youngest tenured professor at Wharton Business School, and author of “Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success,” who studies and practices generosity as a way of life and work. (This eccentric post is a sort of précis of the brilliant article, chock-full of direct quotes. Back to regular programming soon)

“For Adam Grant, helping is not the enemy of productivity, a time-sapping diversion from the actual work at hand; it is the mother lode, the motivator that spurs increased productivity and creativity.

“The greatest untapped source of motivation, he argues, is a sense of service to others; focusing on the contribution of our work to other people’s lives has the potential to make us more productive than thinking about helping ourselves.”

“Grant sees an in-box filled with requests not a task to be dispensed with perfunctorily (or worse, avoided); it’s an opportunity to help people, and therefore it’s an opportunity to feel good about yourself and your work.”

“The message sounds terrific: Feel good about your work, and get more of it done, and bask in the appreciation of all the people you help along the way. Nice guys can finish first! ’’ [Read more…]

Filed Under: random Tagged With: Adam Grant, generosity, Give and Take, giving

Quit Worrying about your Savings Plan: Jesus

By Anita Mathias

 Image credit

Jesus was a spectacularly loving person, caring and reaching out right through his crucifixion— so when he speaks about money, we’d be wise to listen up.

We’d be wise to listen because his desire, the reason he said he came, was for the fullest human flourishing, that we may have LIFE in abundance.

We’d be wise to listen because he only speaks in kindness.

* * *

I am re-reading the Sermon on the Mount. There has been a Christian conspiracy down the ages to quietly ignore parts of it.

But I bet Jesus meant it when he said “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, but rather store up for yourself treasures in heaven.” He’s consistent in this advice: Do not labour for food which perishes, but for food which endures to eternal life.

* * *

The standard financial advice is to keep 6 months salary in cash at all times, (and to have 10 times your final salary in cash or stocks by the time you retire).

In other words, save enough to ensure that you can live without needing to trust God, without needing to lean on his ingenious ideas, and without needing to see his miracles and deliverances.

There is no kindness nor God-wisdom in this advice, but a lot of self-imposed deprivation, of harsh treatment of the present.

Six months salary in cash at all times; ten times final salary squirrelled away–think of how much fun and adventure and experience and opportunities for kindness and generosity and hospitality we miss out on with this sterile focus on saving enough money so that we will never have to rely on God’s kindness or generosity. So that we can, completely erroneously, perceive ourselves to be invulnerable.

* * *

There is a popular cliché about work-life balance: Nobody on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office’.  What is more likely is that nobody ever said on his deathbed, “I wish I had more money.”

But we may well wish we’d travelled more, seen more theatre, more film, read more books, taken more friends out to dinner, been more generous to our children, instead of working so darn hard, saving so much.

Stop worrying about saving for the future. And do not waste today worrying about the future.

This radical statement is, in fact, a sacred command. Do not worry about tomorrow Jesus says, setting us free, great liberator that he is.

* * *

The effects of  2008 world-wide credit crunch, and the subsequent contraction of economies are lingering. It’s probably a safe bet that many of my readers will not be on track to have ten times their final salary by the time they retire.

And neither am I!!

But, truthfully, I am not worried.

(If I received a cheque in the mail for ten years salary, I would bank most of it. But, in its absence, I would not deprive myself of travel or generosity or what is necessary for the flourishing of my work, or my family’s flourishing because I do not have 3-6 months salary in the bank and my retirement is not properly funded. I would not, however, go into debt, or put more on my credit card than I can pay in full this month for anything, except food.)

* * *

And that is why the Gospel is good news to the poor. Guys, do not worry, Jesus says, soaring into sublimity. The God who cares for the sparrows and lilies will care for you. Seek God today, and let Him worry about tomorrow.

It is splendid advice, and, with God’s help, I intend to follow it.

* * *

I once read some research that tracked people’s thoughts through the day. The top things women thought about were 1) their hair!! 2) money. How much they have, how to save, what to buy, how to get bargains, how much money others have, how they got it. Women thought more about money and their hair than sex, the study observed. Men, on the other hand…

However, why not gradually shift our focus in the direction Jesus suggests–to focus on alternative eternal treasures—and fill our bodies with light? In Matthew 13, in a slew of metaphors, living in God’s kingdom is consistently referred to as treasure: the treasure in a field, the pearl of great price worth selling everything to buy.

Why not slowly develop the habit of eating Scripture, this treasure hidden from the busy? Develop the habit of Scripture meditation, an acquired taste in our fast-fast world of distraction. Start small, start with a short time, and increase it as the appetite grows for time with Jesus in quiet eternal realms which stretch and expand.

* * *

Scripture meditation yields great rewards. Paul Meier M.D. found in his study of the psychological and mental health and spiritual lives of evangelical seminary students that students who practiced almost daily Scripture meditation for three years or longer were significantly healthier and happier than students who did not meditate on Scripture daily.

Or as Jesus might have said, their whole body was full of light.

* * *

For what we focus on determines the course of our lives. If our eye is good (“good eye” opthalmos haplos in Greek, refers to generosity) our whole body is full of light. If on, the other hand, our eye is bad, (evil eye, Greek ophthalos poneros, refers to stinginess or greediness) our whole body is full of darkness.

When I think of the most generous people I know, there is a lightness and loveliness to them. And when I think of the most stingy, money-focused people I know—who cannot part with money, cannot force themselves to be generous, who will manipulate others into helping them, but rarely help others—there is a kind of darkness in their lives. The English word miser comes from the Latin miser, “unhappy, wretched, pitiable, in distress.” The focus on money clouds their hearts and lives in darkness.

Whoa, Jesus, so many things you say are literally true!!

 

 

Filed Under: Blog Through The Bible Project, Matthew Tagged With: focus, generosity, giving, matthew 6, money, not worrying, saving

In which Christ Lures us to Secret Prayer, and Promises us a Reward for it.

By Anita Mathias

 “Come you apart from them and be secret,” Christ calls out to us. (Matt. 6 1-18)

We live in a world governed by “the rules,” described by Brene Brown in Daring Greatly: For women, “be naturally beautiful, thin, and perfect at everything, especially motherhood. Be sweet, stay quiet; be perfect moms and wives; don’t own your power.”

For men: “stop feeling, start earning, climb the way to the top, or die trying. Winning, emotional control, risk-taking, dominance, self-reliance, primacy of work, pursuit of status.”

And in the microcosm of church, do these rules still apply? Sure. Men who are wealthy, successful, dominant are feted, and elected as elders, never mind when they last opened their Bibles, or settled down for a time of prayer. For women, being fit, pretty, well-presented, and a perfect mom and housekeeper has become a subset of spirituality in a way the medieval mystics would not have recognized.

But we also uneasily respect those rare birds in our churches: the prayer warriors, the Bible mavens, the mission freaks. They may not be entirely accepted by the cool Christians to whom Sunday morning services are a respite from a week of getting and spending and managing, but we respect them in the way fifth century Christians respected St. Simon Stylites who spent 37 years on a pillar to escape worldly distractions.

But Jesus does not permit us to use our devotion to him as yet another means of gaining status and attention. He advises: Don’t publicly donate or serve on every board to gain a reputation for philanthropy. You might get the respect shallow people accord the rich if you do so, but not the unspecified (but undoubtedly marvellous) reward which your Father will give you. Give generously, but so secretly that your left hand does not know what your right hand is doing. Give for your Father’s reward, which will be wonderful, whether it be the success you crave, the wealth you need, the family closeness you want, or health, or, best of all, peace.

* * *

Similarly, with prayer.  We might hold sway in prayer meetings, with long prayers whose secret, perhaps unconscious, objective includes impressing people with our soft heart, our passion for Christ, our theological understanding–or even to gossip through the tidbits we drop in, or subtly manipulate people by the things we pray for them. And people may be impressed by our long prayers. And that is all the reward we get. Pretty paltry, huh?

But what if we waste time with God, and–instead of earning, organizing, working, networking, promoting ourselves–spend time in prayer so secretly that no one knows, and no one will guess?

We get God’s reward.

Again, unspecified, but I think it will be really, really cool. It will be the right reward for us, and for our lives. He might crown our efforts with success. Grant us health like Caleb, who claimed he was as strong and vigorous at 85 as at 40 (Joshua 14:11).

He might bless our family with love. Deliver us from evil. Make our plans succeed. Guide us.

* * *

When Roy and I were newly-wed and newly committed to Christ, we joined a Christian “young marrieds” group.

Some of those people have soared the heights—were named by Christianity Today as young pastors to watch, became passionate career missionaries. Others just chugged along, same old, same old…

I noticed the same in Christian friends I’ve known for decades. A few have taken enormous spiritual strides, becoming people of wisdom and spiritual wealth with which to bless others; others remained apparently stagnant.

What makes the difference between a passionate Christian and an average one? I used to think it was whether one actually obeyed the “rhema” word of God–when God highlights certain passages of scripture to your spirit, or clearly speaks to you. And that’s part of it.

But the other thing which makes Christians sweet, rather than sour, and a pleasure to be with, like cool spring water on a hot day, is their hidden life of prayer.

Prayer running through the day like a quiet, underground river, guarding your heart, keeping you calm, giving you guidance.

Walking with Christ, an invisible friend, a secret sharer, who will  at crucial times whisper, “This is the way; walk in it.”

And this guidance and direction makes all the difference between one life and another, between a blessed life and another.

* * *

The rewards of prayer include a quieter spirit, a more loving spirit, being saved from sin, God’s blessing, God’s guidance. These  we can guess at.

But perhaps, once it’s all over, and the last curtain falls, we will see all the difference our secret life of prayer made to our actual life amid the hurly-burly. We will see all the blessings that came as a result of our secret life of prayer which we were unaware of; all the things we were saved from; all the times life-changing guidance welled up within our spirits–and how grateful we will be that we cultivated the habit of prayer that grew to be so sweet and necessary that we would have done it for its own sake.

But, in fact, God, who is infinitely generous, had rewarded us for our secret times with him in myriad ways we never guessed at on earth, but now see clearly.

Filed Under: Blog Through The Bible Project, In which I play in the fields of prayer, Matthew Tagged With: blog through the Bible project, giving, God's rewards, Matthew, Prayer, secrecy

Rich Christians and World Poverty. How much should we give?

By Anita Mathias

god we trust Tithing and the abundant life

So there is unbelievable poverty in the world. But most of us who live in the West have enough to satisfy all our needs and many of our wants.

And, often, the disparity gnaws at us.

How much should we give away?

We feel sad about the suffering of the poor.  But we live in the West, we take on the coloration of the West, and our needs become Western, including the need to take a break from the pace of life (our children’s frenetic pace of life, if not ours) and escape distraction by distraction, in Eliot’s phrase. For instance, I don’t particularly covet things any more, but I do enjoy working hard/playing hard, and I love travel and exploration.

* * *

To think  what you spend on coffee each  could send an African girl to school; your holiday in Europe could support an African family for a year could poison your life with guilt—particularly if you do not in fact give away the money saved (which, I suspect, is often the case!)

But how much should we give away?

The Apostle Peter asked for a concrete figure to appease his conscience.

“How many times should I forgive my brother if he sins against me. Seven times?” he asks magnanimously.

But Jesus does not fall for this.  When can I stop forgiving? he hears Peter asking

So he gives a rhetorical, hyperbolic figure, impossible to track. 70 times 7.

Infinitely.

(And I must say that I have probably forgiven Roy and my children that often!)

* * *

Giving away a large percentage of our money, something we have toiled for, worried about, and greatly desire because of the worlds and opportunities it opens to us, is as difficult as forgiveness perhaps.

And so those who lived under law were given a convenient, easily calculated figure–ten percent as a minimum. And then something over that, as their conscience led them, “offerings.”

* * *

For us, under grace, no figure has been given. No easy: “Okay then, ten percent is God’s, and 90 percent all mine.”

But giving ten percent is a useful rule, and will probably unleash much blessing in your life. I have read it in biographies, been told so by friends, and most persuasively, giving 10 percent has always unleashed miracles, windfalls, and unexpected blessing in my life.

* * *

I read in late 2003 in the World Vision magazine, about struggling cherry farmers in Washington State, who wanted to do something about world poverty. They decided to tithe to World Vision, though their business was precarious. And then increased it. Soon, the amount they gave away in tithes each year was the same as their annual salary the year they had started giving. Their income had increased ten-fold, and they were giving away substantial sums! God blessed their business because he trusted them to be a conduit of blessing.

I was so inspired by the fact that ordinary individuals could dent poverty on a small scale, that I decided to increase our base tithe by a percentage point each time we got a financial windfall, a grant, a cash prize, a cash gift. So we were giving 16 percent by the time we left America in 2004. The generosity unleashed blessing.

And then we moved to England, and money was tighter—significantly higher house prices, taxes, and we went private for schooling. Though we had tithed for all our Christian lives, we stopped. We gave, of course, but not ten percent. I led Bible studies as my service to the church.

And we financially struggled for the first two and a half years that I ran my small business–and for the only time in our lives. I wonder now what would have happened if we had tithed!! It wouldn’t surprise me if God would have blessed us with good ideas and good luck, and the tide would have turned sooner.

But there is a toughness and tensile strength of character which is best forged in the school of suffering, and so I do not regret its lessons.

* * *

Though the Old Testament tithe is no longer a requirement to us who are redeemed by the blood of Christ, and live under grace, it is a good starting point. Easy to calculate, and not difficult for almost everyone in the West, and many people in the majority world too. And then, offerings over that, as our heart is moved by specific needs.

I think world poverty would be significantly dented if Christians tithed.

* * *

But we do need to tithe way beyond our little church. The Old Testament tithe supported widows, orphans and aliens in addition to the Levites (Deut 14:28).

If we all gave ten percent of our income to the church we attend, we’ll soon have obscenely overpaid fat-cat pastors in affluent areas, and the money would provide a show on Sunday to rival a concert, and the church could become a club with aerobics classes, weight loss classes, coffee mornings and pamper evenings, being ever more appealing and ever richer, while the poor in the majority world become poorer and poorer. As Larry Burkett points out, tithing in rich, inward-focused, growth-focused churches is essentially tithing to yourself and your church family!!

Not every pitch you hear from the pulpit is motivated by real need. Some are motivated by the pastor’s ambition for glory. Learn to distinguish between what pastors legitimately need to preach the gospel, and which appeals are motivated by ambitious profile-boosting and empire-building. For these sort of appeals will never end.

On the other hand, if we followed the Old Testament model and ensured that 2.5 percent of our income goes to support the local church, and 7.5 goes to support the poor, including “aliens,” our economy will be closer to the one God envisioned, and perhaps there would be few poor among us.

* * *

We ourselves, of course, may have less money than if we did not give. Though not necessarily. Gretchen Rubin, a secular writer who writes on happiness, cites studies that the more one gives, the more one’s wealth increases—perhaps because of the positive feelings that  giving and generosity provide, and other people’s respect for the generous. Roy and I first started tithing in 1990, and were amazed at all the little miracles of financial provision which suddenly followed us, seemingly as a consequence.

And if tithing leaves us with less money than we would have had? So what? Less money=less stuff, less distraction, more simple pleasures, and a quieter life. Money truly does not buy happiness beyond a certain point, and most of us, if we track our times of deepest happiness, may discover that they were times of simple pleasures which did not require very much money at all.

Filed Under: random Tagged With: blessing, generosity, giving, tithe

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Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

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My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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The Story of Dirk Willems

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
  • Trust: A Message of Christmas
  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner
  • On Loving That Which Love You Back
  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
  • Shining Faith in Action: Dirk Willems on the Ice
  • The Story of Dirk Willems: The Man who Died to Save His Enemy

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What I’m Reading

Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance
Barak Obama

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H Is for Hawk
Helen MacDonald

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Tiny Habits
B. J. Fogg

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The Regeneration Trilogy
Pat Barker

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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