colon cancer | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

On The One True Diet and The One True Faith

I started gaining weight around puberty, at a time when, annoyingly, I stopping gaining height. Every few years, I’d step on the scales, and go, “OMG! Must do something.”

And so I tried Weight Watchers, but counting calories made me feel a bit crazy. I tried faith-based diets, which don’t work too well on your own, and then a totally crazy, totally wonderful faith-based diet with a group at Grace Presbyterian Church, Williamsburg, Virginia, Gwen Shamblin’s Weigh Down Workshop, whose tenet was—really! really!!– eat anything you want, as much as you want, but only eat when you are hungry (as defined by a growling stomach), and stop when you are full. I rapidly lost 10 pounds on it, and would have lost more…but it’s surprisingly hard to eat only when you are physiologically hungry.

I tried Overeaters Anonymous and lost 6 pounds on it, but, sadly, strayed from its austere discipline once I stopped attending group meetings. I also found all the intense spiritual inventory stuff intensely difficult.

I tried the Atkins/South Beach, and lost weight on that too. According to the Metabolic Typing Diet, I am a protein type, rare among Asians apparently. I don’t gain weight on meat and fish metabolizing them easily, but rapidly gain weight on carbohydrates. So I had lots of duck, lamb, beef, pork, sausages and bacon, lost weight, and gained colon cancer. Now, that didn’t work out too well for me, did it? Bowel Cancer is a risk of Atkins/South Beach/Paleo diets.

After the shock of the diagnosis, and the pain of surgery, I reverted to the diet that all my research suggested was healthiest, the Nutritarian diet advocated by Joel Fuhrman, Dr Dean Ornish, Dr. Colin Campbell…basically fruit, vegetables, beans and legumes with limited carbs, some fish, limited diary, no meat. Following this diet, with cheats and breaks (for it is no easier to follow a diet than to follow Christ) I’ve gradually lost 22 pounds.

As far as I am concerned, this diet of fruit, vegetables, beans, nuts and legumes is The One True Diet.

But I have learned something from the failed and abandoned diets . Gwen Shamblin’s Weigh Down Diet offered the concept of eating when one is hungry, and stopping when one is full. I have learned to ask myself, “Am I hungry?” Atkins/South Beach taught me that starchy carbs, which I love, are my downfall, and to limit them. Overeaters Anonymous made me aware of the times I eat when I am not hungry.

Learning from failed and nutty diets? God is merciful like that.

* * *

I am thinking about religions.

I believe Christianity is the One True Faith. I love several books of the Old Testament, but chiefly I love Jesus, and have discovered his way really works. Each time I obey him it’s like a great exchange from darkness, confusion, grumpiness and muddle to light, peace, guidance and joy.

But I also believe that God, that Jesus, is too kind and merciful to leave huge swathes of the world in darkness. So while there is One True Faith, I believe some of God’s goodness, light, and mercy shine on all who seek him, whether they have been taught to call him Jehovah, Rama, or Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.

A sincere follower of Judaism has the treasures of the story of David, the Psalms, the Proverbs, Isaiah, Jeremiah, the minor Prophets…great riches.

Islam requires prayer five times a day, a practice which apparently offers physical and mental health benefits. Muslims are forbidden to drink or gamble, which averts much family misery. Giving is a sacred duty, and this increases happiness, according to all happiness research. (Pakistanis and Bangladeshis, though significantly poorer than Indians, are more generous, which leads to Pakistan and Bangladesh ranking higher than India in the UN’s World Happiness Rankings).

Buddhism has the blessings of meditation, Zen, and vegetarianism; Hinduism has yoga and meditation, and many Hindus are vegetarian, which is good for people, animals and the planet. Mormons, whose faith requires them to eschew alcohol, tobacco and coffee; limit meat, and fast once a month (giving the money to the poor) have a high life expectancy.

Because of the goodness of God, all the world religions I know something about reflect some of his goodness.

* * *

But I am delighted to be a Jesus-follower. Following Jesus is, I am convinced, the One True Faith. Each year, I follow him, imperfectly, imperfectly, I can, at a moment’s notice, list ten reasons I am glad to be a Christ-follower, and why, oh, of course, following him is the One True Faith. The reasons expand and expand.

Today’s list of 10 randomly ordered reasons for why I believe following Jesus is the one true faith, the best way to live.

1 Because he said, “Be on your guard against all kinds of greed,” and that saves me time and stress, and keeps me focused on what’s important.

2 Because he commanded us not to worry about anything at all, since the God who looks after the birds and flowers will look after us

3 Because he condensed the law and the prophets to one counter-intuitive principle –Love, which is good for the heart, better than vegetarianism. What’s more, he’s practical. What is love? Do to others what you would have them do to you

Because obeying Jesus’s command, “Do not judge,” saves us from futilely meditating on our grievances.

Because Jesus protects us from useless conflict by telling us to turn the other cheek. He’s so gentle. He said the meek inherit the earth. And in all sorts of ways, they do.

4 Because he was an early feminist. He thought sitting at his feet and listening to his teaching was taking the better path, offering Martha liberation from her kitchen. Store-bought pita and hummus would do just fine.

5 Because he understood that prayer was mysterious magic, and he summoned us to it.

6 He was realistic about trouble, sin and suffering, and offered us ways to transcend them. “In the world you will have trouble, but in me, you will find peace.”

7 He told us the Holy Spirit was even better than he was, and that He would come, and the Spirit did, and was as life-changing as Jesus said he was

8 He is a genius. He tells us counter-intuitive things about life, and oh my goodness, he’s right. He who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbled himself will be exalted. In the long run, it’s true, and in the short run–what peace, time and energy are saved!!

9 Delaying gratification is the only decent way to live, contemporary psychiatrist Scott Peck writes in The Road Less Travelled. Jesus said the same thing 2000 years ago, bluntly and memorably. “Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. For whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses it will save it.” The grain of wheat, the comfortable old self, must be cracked open to come to new life.

10 He is treasure, and he offers treasure, though treasure found after searching and digging. “Joy, I give you. Peace, I leave you.”

Jesus is like a tardis. He gets bigger and bigger as you enter in, and in him is satisfaction for all our hungers and restlessness. “He who eats my flesh will never hunger, and he who believes in me will never thirst,” he promised. His difficult mysterious ways, like a magic carpet, transport us to an exciting life, with magic and adventure.

Just words? Nope; experiment with obeying Jesus as closely as possible, and see what happens

Putting the words of Christ into practice immediately begins to bring truth, goodness, strength and beauty into our lives. Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy.

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Many diets are good; plants are the best. Many faiths have goodness; following Jesus is best. NEW from @anitamathias1

On The One True Diet and The One True Faith. NEW POST from @anitamathias1

Obeying the words of Christ instantly brings truth, goodness, strength & beauty to our lives. NEW from @anitamathias1

Why I believe following Jesus is the one true faith. NEW from @anitamathias1

IMAGE: Christ Pantocrater, Palermo, Sicily.

One Work Goal for 2105: Focus

By Anita Mathias

I enjoy the One Word project. Instead of a resolution, one asks God for a prophetic word as a guide for the year.

My word for 2014 was alignment. I have chosen Joy as the word to return to this year. When I find myself stressed, distressed, angry, worried or simply sad, I am learning to stop what I am doing, and pray until peace and clarity returns, accepting the things I cannot change, changing the things I can…

One word, alas, can be constraining for a woman whose work is words…

* * *

My biggest trauma of 2014 was colon cancer. It was not metastatic, thankfully, but because lymph nodes were involved, I was given an estimate of my chances of being alive in 5 years!!

Anyway, fortunately, the median is not the message as Stephen Jay Gould wrote in this popular essay. He was given 8 months to live aged 40, and lived for 20 years, dying at 60 of an unrelated cancer. He writes

Attitude clearly matters in fighting cancer. We don’t know why (from my old-style materialistic perspective, I suspect that mental states feed back upon the immune system). But match people with the same cancer for age, class, health, socioeconomic status, and, in general, those with positive attitudes, with a strong will and purpose for living, with commitment to struggle, with an active response to aiding their own treatment and not just a passive acceptance of anything doctors say, tend to live longer. A few months later I asked Sir Peter Medawar, my personal scientific guru and a Nobelist in immunology, what the best prescription for success against cancer might be. “A sanguine personality,” he replied.

And God, the great mathematician, is known to upset human stats. (Consider Janet Walton given 104 billion to 1 odds of bearing healthy sextuplets. Which was exactly what she did.)

However, estimates of your chances of being alive—even decent odds, as in my case–focuses the mind. “Depend upon it, Sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.” Dr. Johnson wrote.

In the first shock and sadness after the diagnosis, I wandered through the house, looking at the books I had not yet read, but really wanted to; the documentaries I had not watched, but really wanted to; the books I had not written, but really wanted to; thinking of the places to which I had never travelled, but rather wanted to. I did not want to die. I was in love with life.

I was sad.

Then, who knows how, I snapped out of sadness.

* * *

I had prayed with faith for healing. Why should I proceed as if God was definitely ignore my prayers? That’s crazy behaviour for a believer. God is my Father; why should I hurt his feelings by doubting his goodness.

Fifty springs are little room to look at things in bloom, the poet A. C. Housman wrote. So since, in the Upper Room discourse at the Last Supper, Jesus repeatedly urges us to ask for anything we wish, I asked, playfully, for 50 additional years of life, which would get me to the age at which my great-grandmother Julianna died. (I come from a line of long-lived woman on both sides of the family, thriving into their nineties, often living past a hundred, women who lived on ancestral diets–not the Western diet I have indulged in for the last 30 years.)

And so, while I am steadily changing my diet in the direction of optimum nutrition, and steadily increasing my exercise, I decided to plunge back into work I really wanted to do. Work one loves–a great and mysterious extender of life.

* * *

I started work on a memoir in 1991—an account of a Catholic childhood in Jamshedpur, a Zoroashtrian company town; rebellious years in a boarding school in Nainital, in the foothills of the Himalayas, run by German and Irish nuns; and then working with Mother Teresa at Calcutta.

However, I shelved it numerous times: to write essays; to teach Creative Writing at The College of William and Mary in Williamsburg; for four years to establish a business; and then for another five years, I barely worked on it while I blogged.

Chapters have met with success. They have won a Fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts; a Minnesota State Arts Board fellowship; a Jerome Fellowship: have won “Writer of Unusual Promise” awards to writing conferences, have been published in Best Spiritual Writing, Commonweal, London Magazine, Virginia Quarterly Review, and Notre Dame Magazine. I am certain that it will be a good book–though a long one in the first draft (which will definitely need a good editor).

I realized that if I died without finishing it, and publishing it (I am thinking of indie publishing the first longer version) I would feel enormous, almost unbearable sadness and regret, because it took me time and sacrifice to get a good first draft.

But if I died without developing my blog to dizzy heights, so be it. C’est la vie. Blogging has been enormously rewarding in psychological, spiritual, creative, personal growth, social and career ways…a trip to Cambodia, for instance… Who would have guessed? It has brought me nearly 10,000 readers a month, some of whom have become real life friends. The confidence and support a large and steady readership brings cannot be underestimated.

* * *

So I will work on the memoir first, writing 500 words a day. A long memoir averages 120,000 words, which means I could be done with it in less than 8 months; much has already been written, and I already have a first draft. Sounds good, huh?

I will shoot for 500 words rather than 1000, for that will leave time for walking, gardening, housework, prayer, family life, friendships as well as gas in the tank for another day’s writing.

500 words… I might be able to write that in an hour if I focus. Perhaps two hours if I shoot for beautiful words. In a widely shared piece, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet attributed their success to that fact that they knew how to focus.

And that is my work goal for 2015: Focus

I am using an app called Freedom to turn off the internet when I write. I really enjoy the quiet and concentration of being in the zone, and get so much done when the internet is off.

So I will write my 500 words, and then blog–a blog or two or three a week as the Lord gives me strength and energy.

I had a mentor, whose book I edited. He said he would write as the Lord provided time. I thought privately, “One can’t write like that!” But both his books are still read in a world in which bloggers publish books to a three week buzz, books which are often dead in six months, and forgotten in a year.

Apparently relying on the Lord for words and time is a very good work strategy indeed!

Anita’s Belated 2014 Christmas Letter and Early New Year Letter

By Anita Mathias

Friends,

Happy New Year!! May it be a year of blessing and happiness for all of us

My Christmas letter has morphed into a New Year’s letter–which is kind of how my year went!

2014! What a year! Here it is:

January—I win an all-expense paid competition to go to … Cambodia with Tearfund.

Zoe gets an offer from Oxford University to read Theology. She worked in the Bridge in Gadsden, Alabama at the end of her gap year at the School of Ministry, Catch the Fire Toronto.

February—Family trip to France—Paris and the Loire Valley. Came back to find we had been burgled. Our car too and loads of stuff. A beautiful moment to discover that we had never got around to getting homeowner’s insurance!

March—Intense trip to Cambodia. Images here.

April—I publish my first children’s book: Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man who Gave Too Much

Merry Labradoodle joins our family.

May—Still exhausted after Cambodia, so go on a retreat to shake it off to El Palmeral, Spain, a retreat centre run by charming Mike and Julie Jowett.

(In fact, I have aggressive cancer, not that easily shaken off by rest and retreats!)

July—Irene wins the Anne Hogg Prize for Modern Foreign Languages (French and Spanish).

Lovely family holiday in Helsinki. (See images) I walk, walk, walk.

August— Suddenly exhausted. I surprise Roy by continually murmuring, “I think I have cancer.” Take up running to feel better—but do not outrun cancer…

Irene goes to Poland and Germany on a school trip, and Zoe and Irene visit my mother in India.

Roy and I go to David’s Tent, a 72 hour worship festival. I’d like to go next year too. This prophecy I received was VERY significant for me, though it may seem heartbreakingly ironic in the light of the rest of year.

September—Interview by Maria Rodrigues at Premier Radio, Women to Women Show.

http://www.premierchristianradio.com/Shows/Weekday/Woman-to-Woman/Episodes/Woman-to-Woman80

I’m on at 34:30 and the interview is 55 minutes!

October—Nice trip to France at half-term.

Zoe starts at Oxford University reading theology. She has a great first term, throwing herself into all manner of activities, from Cuppers drama, to Christian Union, Christian Theologians Society, Just Love (social justice), Just Lunch (Freshers studying the Book of Amos), Family of Friends (Charismatic Oxford students) and… oh, my head’s spinning already.

Jake the Collie, who was once “obese,” (thanks vet!!), gets thinner and thinner, until he has to be carried downstairs, limps painfully, and we say a tearful goodbye. It was cancer. Not to be taken lightly

I am still tired. See doctor. Severe anemia. Colonoscopy. Visually, it looks like cancer, the endoscopist says. It quacks like cancer…

November— I am the runner-up for “Tweeter of the Year,” in the Christian New Media Awards, and attend a glamorous awards dinner in London.

Roy and I celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary.

Biopsy in. And it is…colon cancer! I have surgery on November 25.

December—

Biopsy in again. Fresh horrors. 45% of the lymph nodes removed have tested positive for cancer. Chemotherapy is advised. I am envious of my friends who had cancer at the same stage, declined chemo and are alive to tell the tale.

I don’t have peace declining chemo, because to go by the three oncologists I’ve spoken to, and the medical papers I’ve read, taking chemo will dramatically reduce my odds of getting cancer again, and will increase my odds of 5 year survival. Also, if it returns it may be metastatic and virtually incurable. Horrors!

So I guess I am going to go ahead with chemo next month.

10-20% of people who take the chemo combination suggested for me do not have side-effects. If you’d like to pray for me, please pray that I am among them.

I am also learning about mega-nutrition via juices and smoothies to strengthen my immune system to withstand chemo, and vanquish cancer.

Some people come out stronger at the end of chemotherapy and cancer because they start exercising and eat beautifully, my friend Azmy, a GP tells me. God willing, I will be one of them.

Stephen Jay Gould writes in his beautiful essay on his cancer, “The Median is not the Message,” “Attitude clearly matters in fighting cancer. We don’t know why (from my old-style materialistic perspective, I suspect that mental states feed back upon the immune system). But match people with the same cancer for age, class, health, socioeconomic status, and, in general, those with positive attitudes, with a strong will and purpose for living, with commitment to struggle, with an active response to aiding their own treatment and not just a passive acceptance of anything doctors say, tend to live longer. A few months later I asked Sir Peter Medawar, my personal scientific guru and a Nobelist in immunology, what the best prescription for success against cancer might be. “A sanguine personality,” he replied.”

What a year! Dear God, I don’t want to hurt your pride, or show off or anything, but I think I could have done a better job editing it! But whey-hey, I am just in the middle of the story and I do not know how God is going to work it out.

Oh yes, I was going to be positive, wasn’t I? There is a message in the bottle of cancer, and, next year, I am going to decode it. In Oxford, England, on December 21, the winter solstice, we had 16 hours 18 minutes of darkness, but also had 7 hours 42 minutes of daylight. Always some brightness on the darkest day. Next year, I will be looking for it, and cultivating a joyful and grateful heart.

The whole earth IS full of his glory.

Happy New Year, everyone

Love,

Anita