Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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Archives for March 2013

7 Quick Takes: Kew Gardens, Wisley, Leighton House, Univ. Parks, Oxford,Daughters, Progress on NY Goals,

By Anita Mathias

1 We are taking a walking course in London, with Joanna Hall of The Walking Diet.

With her walking technique, I am walking faster—much faster—and, more importantly, really, really enjoying it. I am walking about 4 miles a day around London, when I am there, and Oxford.

2 Leighton House

12-DSCN6434

Frederick, Lord Leighton was a Pre-Raphaelite artist who was immensely rich privileged and never needed to work for his living. Unlike othesr born to his happy state of affairs, however, he did make something of his life.

When he declared his intention of becoming an artist, his parents opposed it, unless he became a preeminent artist. And so he assured them he would become one of the preeminent artists of his generation. And he did—becoming the President of the Royal Academy.

Leighton, who was probably gay, never married. His gorgeous house is dedicated to beauty. There are beautiful Moorish rooms much like the Alhambra and the Topkapi Palace in Istanbul, all tiles, and gold mosaics and fountains. The light-flooded enormous studio is to die for!

And, in line with the aesthetic movement, beauty for beauty’s sake, he has a mishmash of  lovely things from throughout the world in every room—peacock fans, Japanese vases, inlaid ivory Ottoman chests!! There is even a Narcissus room, after the Narcissus room in the just-discovered Pompeii. His bedroom, oddly, is a near-monastic cell amid all this magnificence.

High stained glass window in the Arab Hall, Leighton House.

High stained glass window in the Arab Hall, Leighton House.

Dome, the Arab Hall, Leighton House.

Dome, the Arab Hall, Leighton House.

Tile panel, the Arab Hall, Leighton House.

Tile panel, the Arab Hall, Leighton House.

3 Britain’s glory is her gardens. The ponds with wild ducks, the spring bulbs, soft birdsong—oh, exploring them in early spring mid-week with all the retirees is an otherworldly, almost mystical experience.

Here are some images from Kew Gardens

Huge Chestnut, Kew Gardens.

Huge Chestnut, Kew Gardens.

A variety of  water birds.

A variety of water birds (Kew).

A drift of Crocus, Kew.

A drift of Crocus, Kew.

Squirrels are everywhere in London parks.

Squirrels are everywhere in London parks.

and the Oxford Botanic Garden

Crocus under a mossy tree, Oxford Botanical garden.

Crocus under a mossy tree, Oxford Botanic Garden.

Tulips planted at the base of a tree, Oxford Botanical Garden.

Tulips planted at the base of a tree, Oxford Botanic Garden.

 

Banana flower, greenhouse, Oxford Botanical Garden.

Banana flower, greenhouse, Oxford Botanic Garden.

Moored punts, filled with rain water, by Magdalen Bridge, Oxford Botanical Garden.

Moored punts, filled with rain water, by Magdalen Bridge, Oxford Botanic Garden.

 

A view from Christchurch Meadow.

A view from Christchurch Meadow.

4 And Wisley Garden in Surrey

Garden sculpture, Wisley.

Garden sculpture, Wisley. (iphone)

 

A colorful crocus drift, Wisley.

A colorful crocus drift, Wisley. (iphone)

With, equally colorful ducks.

With, equally colorful ducks. (iphone)

 

Miniature narcissus gazing into the water, Wisley.

Miniature narcissus gazing into the water, Wisley. (iphone)

5 We walked yesterday through a flooded University Parks in Oxford. What a strange half-watery, other-worldly place it was—familiar fields under water, the river and ponds having burst their banks, the meadows now the habitation of swans, ducks, coots and glebes. There were very few people around, and it felt like a thin place, other worlds very present.

Flooded fields by University Parks. (iphone pic)

Flooded fields by University Parks. (iphone pic)

The small duck pond has been engulfed by the flooding river (University Parks, Feb, 2013, iphone)

The small duck pond has been engulfed by the flooding river (University Parks, Feb, 2013, iphone)

Hopkins felt that about Oxford

Towery city and branchy between towers;
Cuckoo-echoing, bell-swarmèd, lark-charmèd, rook-racked, river-rounded;

Yet ah! this air I gather and I release
He lived on; these weeds and waters, these walls are what
He haunted who of all men most sways my spirits to peace;

He wrote that of Duns Scotus. I feel like that about him.

6 My daughters

Irene, 13, now has a blog, Life Among the Cupcakes. I begged her to have a blog about books, since she reads a lot and writes like an angel, but she sagely explained that she must be herself, and not me, and her passion is baking!! Humph!

Other Irene quotes—I think everyone should be a Buddhist. Even if they are a Christian.

Irene stayed home one day to work at our family business (a publishing company). It was a “take your daughter to work day,” but we work from home. And the phone kept ringing. The doorbell kept ringing. She was disgruntled and disgusted. “People don’t realize how important I am. They don’t realize I have stayed home from school just to work!” Work said with utter contempt compared with the sublimity of school, which she loves!

Zoe is doing a lot of talks at her school’s Christian Union which she runs, and at the Pathfinders (10-14) group at Church. She has been voted as “Most Likely to be the First Female Archbishop of Canterbury” for her school’s yearbook. Studying theology at Jesus College, Cambridge, however, is a more immediate item on her agenda.

7 New Year’s Resolutions

I now wish I had followed Zen Habits sage advice, and made just one resolution a month. Next year.

However, here is my progress on my resolutions.

Weight

Weight (lb) Cum. Loss
Jan 1st 233
Jan 13th 231.8 -1.2
Jan 20th 229.2 -3.8
Feb-29  227.8  -5.2
Mar-20  227.2 -5.8 lbs

 

Week of Goal Km Actually done KM
Jan-07 29.6
Jan-14 33.6 Ice 13.6
Jan-21 14.96 snow 16.4
Jan-28 19.69 23.36
Feb-28  25.69  28.37
Mar-10 31 35km

Linking up with The Conversion Diary–http://www.conversiondiary.com/

and Leigh Kramer–http://www.leighkramer.com/blog/2013/03/what-im-into-march-2013-edition.html

 

 

Organising my house

Before

Before

Before

After

After!!

After!!

Next week’s challenge

Mar 20 (Before)

Mar 20 (Before)

 

 

Filed Under: In which I Dream Beneath the Spires of Oxford, In which I Travel and Dream Tagged With: Goals, kew gardens, leighton house, university parks, walking, wisley

Two Cures for Too Much Theologizing

By Anita Mathias

starry-skies

                                                                                                       Image credit

1 The Stars

When I heard the learn’d astronomer,

When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,

When I was shown the charts and diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them,

When I sitting heard the astronomer where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,

How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,

Till rising and gliding out I wander’d off by myself,

In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,

Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.

Walt Whitman

 

2 The Living Word

In his famous Christmas sermon of 1522 (600 years ago!!) Martin Luther declared,

“O that God should desire that my interpretation and that of all teachers should disappear, and each Christian should come straight to the Scripture alone and to the pure word of God!

You see from this babbling of mine the immeasurable difference between the word of God and all human words, and how no man can adequately reach and explain a single word of God with all his words.

It is an eternal word and must be understood and contemplated with a quiet mind.

No one else can understand except a mind that contemplates in silence.

For anyone who could achieve this without commentary or interpretation, my commentaries and those of everyone else could not only be of no use, but merely a hindrance.

Go to the Bible itself, dear Christians, and let my expositions and those of all scholars be no more than a tool with which to build aright, so that we can understand, taste, and abide in the simple and pure word of God.”

Filed Under: random Tagged With: the word of God, theology

The Benefits of Optimism (and how Venting Anger makes you Feel Worse)

By Anita Mathias

Silver lining

I have been ruminating on positive thinking, and on particular, on whether it is better to express anger (vent!) or not, and so loved this article in The Atlantic by Emily Esfahani Smith: The Benefits of Optimism are Real.

Here are a few ideas from the article

1 “Having a positive outlook in difficult circumstances is not only an important predictor of resilience — how quickly people recover from adversity — but it is the most important predictor of it. People who are resilient tend to be more positive and optimistic compared to less-resilient folks; they are better able to regulate their emotions; and they are able to maintain their optimism through the most trying circumstances.”

2 Dwelling on anger and anxiety makes you feel worse

“For many years, psychologists, following Freud, thought that people simply needed to express their anger and anxiety — blow off some steam — to be happier. But this is wrong. Researchers, for example, asked people who were mildly-to-moderately depressed to dwell on their depression for eight minutes. The researchers found that such ruminating caused the depressed people to become significantly more depressed and for a longer period of time than people who simply distracted themselves thinking about something else. Senseless suffering — suffering that lacks a silver lining — viciously leads to more depression.”

3 Venting makes you feel worse

Counter-intuitively, another study found that facing down adversity by venting — hitting a punching bag or being vengeful toward someone who makes you angry — actually leads to people feeling far worse, not better. Actually, doing nothing at all in response to anger was more effective than expressing the anger in these destructive ways.

4 In another study, those who try to find meaning from trauma grow wiser, and experienced better health than those who simply vent about it. The stories people told themselves as they searched for a silver lining healed them.

5 Positive people are more resilient physically and emotionally. They a “revealed more happiness, interest, and eagerness” toward  solving their worst problems.

“When your mind starts soaring, you notice more and more positive things. This unleashes an upward spiral of positive emotions that opens people up to new ways of thinking and seeing the world — to new ways forward. This is yet another reason why positive people are resilient. They see opportunities that negative people don’t. Negativity, for adaptive reasons, puts you in defense mode, narrows your field of vision, and shuts you off to new possibilities since they’re seen as risks.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: random Tagged With: anger, Positive thinking, resilience, silver lining, venting

Set Free from Food Addiction Through Intimacy with God (A Guest Post by Lynda Alsford)

By Anita Mathias

Being known gull  2Freedom

I used to be a food addict. I love saying that sentence, so please indulge me as I say it again. I used to be a food addict…until Jesus set me free in March 2012.

My journey to freedom has taken many years and in that time I’ve learned many things. One that stands out to me is that in order to appreciate freedom fully, you first have to understand the preceding captivity. In my experience, the greater the darkness the brighter the light seems when it comes.

Part of my personal darkness was that I didn’t know how to deal with difficult emotions. I would do anything rather than feel them. I ate them away, piling on huge amounts of weight. Once I started eating I could not stop. Food was an anaesthetic and its anaesthetising powers had me imprisoned. It is near impossible to describe to someone who has never had an addiction what it actually feels like to be in the grip of one. The poem below is my attempt to put into words how I felt as I struggled with something that was beyond my control.

Captivity

Unbidden thoughts arise, so sorrowful and sad.
Volcanoes of pain that threaten to erupt.

Searing red-hot lava expands within my chest.
The god of addiction requires his sacrifice.

From somewhere deep within, he cries ‘appease me now’.
‘Appease me now or this pain I’ll surely spew’

This pain, I don’t doubt, will rip me quite apart
So I do what I must do this idol to placate.

At the start of my journey I didn’t realise how dark my darkness was. I thought I could overcome my problem with a little will power. But that was the problem. I thought I could overcome it. But I couldn’t. Eventually I realised I was fighting a losing battle. And that is when I realised just how dark my darkness was. I thought I was worthless and no good. I even made a list of all the things about me that I thought were not good enough for God. I gave God this list, expecting Him to agree with me. But all He did was tell me how much He loved me despite every last thing on my list. I wept that day. I was overwhelmed by His grace and compassion.

I started to seek freedom, hoping rather than knowing it was possible. I tried and failed to rid myself of the unhelpful addiction to food by pushing countless doors. Some opened and helped me take a small step forwards but many didn’t open at all. However, I didn’t give up my search. Jesus said, “Seek and you will find” (Matthew 7:7) so I kept seeking.

“Keep on keeping on” I told myself as I pushed yet another door.

In 2005, God in His mercy caused one of those wonderful God-incidences to occur. I discovered New ID (www.newid.org ), which is a 6 week Christian eating disorders course. It gave me the message that I was not alone and that freedom was definitely possible. I thank God for this course because He used it greatly in my life. However, it was another seven years before I would find freedom.

Ultimately, it was finding deeper intimacy with God that finally set me free. For years, I was seeking healing from my compulsive overeating. But I wasn’t seeking God Himself. I was seeking healing not seeking the healer. In 2009 I lost my faith for a year when I struggled with the devastation of broken dreams. I stopped believing in God but in an unexpected way it was this that set me on the final part of my journey to freedom. You see, I suddenly realised I missed God. I missed Him so much it hurt. And that made me start to seek Him, really seek Him for His own sake. And there is no prayer God is quicker to answer. Just like the father in the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15 at the first glimpse of our turning towards Him He is running with all His might to meet us and hold us in His loving divine embrace.

After coming back to faith in January 2011, I was finally seeking God for who He is not for what He could give me. I longed to know His love. I longed to find more intimacy with Him as Father. I devoured books about the Fatherhood of God. I listened time and again to Christian meditation CD’s that drew me into God’s presence (my favourite is Liz Babbs, A Quiet Place).

One day in March 2012, while sitting in Church, I knew I finally trusted Father God enough to let Him remove my food addiction for good. A wise Christian friend, Wendy, listened to me as I prayed, asking God to take it away. She then prayed for me too. I haven’t binged since then. Not once. The temptation to stuff myself with food still came knocking at the door of my mind occasionally. But when it did I found that if I went to the fridge I didn’t want to eat. It is a miracle!

Over the last year I’ve lost 2 ½ stone in weight without trying, and the weight is still coming off, very slowly but I am losing it. There have been hard lessons to learn as well. I’ve learned to sit with the difficult emotions and feel them rather than eat them away. This first year has been very challenging while I have learned this new skill, but it’s been so wonderful too.

I’ve been a Christian for over thirty years and it is only in the last year that I’ve found freedom from my addiction. It’s been a long painful journey. It has taken patience, dedication and a great deal of hard work but it’s also the most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life so far. The thing that has been so challenging is learning to trust Father God with the very deepest part of me, learning to live in intimacy with Father. Once I did that, He took the addiction from me, because I trusted Him enough to let Him do so. I don’t know what Father has in store for me but one thing I do know. Freedom tastes so very good!

Lynda Alsford

Lynda Alsford

Bio

Lynda Alsford is a Church Army Evangelist and lives in Sussex very near the sea which she loves. She enjoys various creative crafts and loves reading. She went through a major crisis of faith in 2009-2010 when despite being a trained evangelist she stopped believing in God. Her first book, ‘He Never Let Go’, describes how she evangelised herself back to faith once more. She is currently working on her second book, ‘Being Known’, which portrays her struggles with, and eventual freedom from, food addiction through finding deeper intimacy with Father God. Find out more about her and her books at her website and blog.

Filed Under: In which I Pursue Personal Transformation or Sanctification Tagged With: deliverance, food addiction, freedom, Lynda Alsford, the fatherhood of God, the grace of God

The Light and Easy Way of Sanctification or Transformation

By Anita Mathias

    

I strayed onto an acquaintance’s blog, and started feeling tired.

Oh, it was all so bossy, so prescriptive. 10 ways to be a better wife; 10 ways to be a better mum; 10 ways to lose weight in a Biblical way; 10 ways to read more spiritual books.

It made me feel so tired. I scrolled through the blogs she had  blogrolled, even more prescriptive and bossy, and began to feel even more tired.

* * *

18 years ago, when I lived in Williamsburg, Virginia, I had taken a theological course called Sonship developed by the brilliant Westminister Seminary Professor and founder of World Harvest Mission Jack Miller. It was the most heavily theological material I had encountered to date, and gave me a taste for theology!

At the outset, Miller reports someone raving about Richard Foster’s“The Celebration of Discipline.”

And Miller, a big, hearty, larger-than-life man, laughs a big booming laugh and says, “I am too big a sinner to be fooled by the Celebration of Discipline.”

* * *

Huh? I did not understand what he meant then, but understand it perfectly now. Discipline cannot save us. 10 ways to study scripture, fast, give, serve are not going to change our selfish, self-seeking, ambitious, twisty old hearts. If anything they might just make us more self-righteous. For our hearts to change, we need a heart transplant. We need God to pour his Holy Spirit into us and give us a new heart (Ez 36:26).

* * *

We do need strategies—for ensuring we pray every day, spent time soaking in Scripture everyday, and for our own particular battles: eating healthily is one of mine.

But strategies cannot save us. For me at least, lists of food rules, or domesticity rules or spiritual rules or time-management rules get a bit boring and feel like too much of a strait-jacket and I soon drop them. They are the law, a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear? Acts 15:10.

What helps me, and fills my days with sweetness is going through my day with Jesus, sharing the easy yoke.

* * *

I do have food rules, as for much of my adult life, I have medicated boredom, low spirits, stress, anxiety, and even happiness with food. So my two rules are: Limit eating what is not a blessing to your body (sugar, white carbs, chocolate). Do not eat when you are not hungry.

I was energized when I first formulated them, but now, especially that I am walking 6 km. a day, I sometimes buy chocolate or pizza or Indian takeaway after a long walk. The law, my strategies, weren’t strong enough to save me. On the other hand, slowing down, and asking Jesus for help and grace and the filling of his spirit does help me to resist things which are a curse to my body.

Slowing down. I wondering if that is a major secret of the spiritual life.

It’s the same with exercise. I know I will be stronger if I do it. I know I will be happier if I break up my writing with housework breaks (pomodoros) but this is very hard for me, for really, I like to work till done—and if what I am working on takes 3 to 4 hours it is quite painful almost for me to leave it and switch gear. So I need Jesus’s help to get up and get moving more than rules.

* * *

Hudson Taylor after continued spiritual failure, and self-excoriation stumbled upon the secret of abiding, which is known as Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret. He writes:

“Not a striving to have faith, but a looking off to the Faithful One seems all we need.”

Here, I feel, is the secret : not asking how I am to get sap out of the vine into myself, but remembering that Jesus is the Vine-the root, stem, branches, twigs, leaves, flowers, fruit, all indeed. Aye, and far  more too! He is the soil and sunshine, air and rain-more than we can  ask, think, or desire. Let us not then want to get anything out of Him, but rejoice in being ourselves in Him-one with Him, and, consequently, with all His fulness. 

” I have not got to make myself a branch. The Lord Jesus tells me I am a branch. I am part of Him, and have just to believe it and act upon it. If I go to the bank in Shanghai, having an account, and ask for fifty dollars, the clerk cannot refuse it to my outstretched hand and say that it belongs to Mr. Taylor. What belongs to Mr. Taylor my hand may take. It is a member of my body. And I am a member of Christ, and may take all I need of His fulness.”

Perhaps this is the easy way of sanctification—to see yourself as a branch in the vine of Jesus, and pray,  relying and drawing on the wells of his strength and sweet life when tempted to indulge your temper, your gluttony, your laziness, or any of the deadly seven temptations.

 

 

Filed Under: In which I Pursue Personal Transformation or Sanctification Tagged With: abiding, change, easy yoke, sanctification, trusting

Starlight (A guest post by Angela Shupe, La Bella Verita)

By Anita Mathias

shutterstock_95537227

Starlight

Sleepless, I walked through the dark to my kitchen to peer out the windows at our backyard meadow cradled by woods. The strain of life had led me to feel things were more chaos than calm. Looking up, I saw the dark night sky speckled with tiny flickering lights. A moment of wonder turned into a half hour of stargazing. Stars carrying names from their Maker hung overhead. If that One, that Maker, could bring order to a sea of glimmering lights, surely He could bring order to my perceived chaos. I returned to bed, falling asleep in a room lit softly by starlight that soon gave way to dawn. Peaceful.

But, life is unpredictable. And I had no way of knowing as I gazed at the stars, that in a few hours, I would lose my closest friend. The one like a sister to me would wake up after dawn and breathe her last breath, only hours before I was to visit her. With her passing, a part of me died, as well.

Two months into my grieving, my husband decided it was time to take a trip. “I want you to get away…somewhere different,” he said. We drove five hours to a place we’d never been before, to be together, to mend a numbed and grieving heart. Get out into nature, hike along trails of dirt, dust and rock, deep into the woods. Years before, we’d backpacked into the wild, immersing ourselves in nature’s unspoiled beauty. His act of love and compassion moved me greatly. He was grieving, too, but watching me grieve deeply for one so loved, was difficult.

We arrived at our destination, a little inn perched on a hill with cabins scattered in the surrounding trees. On our first hike I stood breathless from the scenery, the otherworldly beauty a shock to my senses. Trees shot up from emerald green moss-covered rock. Bubbling alongside was a creek lined with delicate ferns that led the way deep into caverns carved into towering sandstone. Waterfalls spilled over the highest edges.

After a full day of hiking, we walked from our cabin to the inn for a quiet dinner by candlelight. Everything seemed hushed and intimate, the quiet necessary for a heart in pain.

We walked back to our cabin, hand in hand, after dinner. The trail was rocky and we’d not brought anything to light our way. We walked with eyes fixed on the path, to not lose our footing. Something made me stop suddenly and as we stood, I looked up.

Above us, the dark velvet sky was overflowing with starlight. A blanket of lights spread thickly over us like a canopy. Every square inch was covered in stunning brightness. Lights hung so low, so close, I stretched out my arm, sure my fingertips could just reach. In our focus to keep our footing, we’d almost missed it – until that moment. Beauty poured forth in starlight. And we stood in awe, beholding its intensity in a silent act of worship.

My mind returned to that sleepless night months before, the flickering stars and the reminder that God is a god of order, not chaos. He most certainly could order my world spinning from grief. Stars that were called out by name, marched into position and shone vibrantly, warming my grieving heart and reminding me that my friend is not so far away.

After arriving back at our cabin, we stood on the tiny deck trying to capture the night sky on film. No picture could do justice to those stars now shining brilliantly in the not so far recesses of my memory.

Although I wouldn’t choose the pain of great loss, it’s a part of life on this side of the veil. After grief, we’re never the same. Perhaps out of the deep ruts of grief come understanding and knowledge that simply will come no other way. Joy after grief is deeper and richer, scars and all. We become more pliable, more teachable and the muscles of our faith are strengthened. We can stand on the other side of our battles with adversity, with questions yet unanswered, more certain of the goodness of a loving God, who stoops to intervene in the smallest of ways and sometimes brings the starlight to woo us.

 

Angela Shupe

Angela Shupe

Angela M. Shupe writes about life and faith on her blog, Bella Verita: Beautiful Truth at www.bellaverita.wordpress.com. Her writing has appeared in Women’s Adventure Magazine, Beliefnet.com, Today’s Christian Woman/Kyria, Relevant Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine and Radiant Magazine. Her writing has also been recognized by Biographile and Travelers’ Tales.

Filed Under: In which I proudly introduce my guest posters

Deliver us from Evil

By Anita Mathias

When I try to pray while walking, or in the car, I use the Lord’s Prayer (Matt. 6 9-13) to organize my thoughts, and am often astonished again by its richness. Forgiving aught against any as a condition for receiving the Lord’s forgiveness, for instance.

“Do not bring us to the test,” the Lord instructs us to pray. Would he instruct us to pray this if testing were inevitable? Is it possible that one might be spared soul-wringing and heart-wrenching testing if one prays to avoid it?

And then, the lovely sentence, “Deliver us from evil.” Would Jesus instruct us to pray to be delivered from evil if he did not intend to deliver those who requested deliverance? So deliverance from evil is a strong probability for those who pray for it.

* * *

I am reminded of Jabez’s outrageous prayer,  “Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request. (1 Chron 4:10)

Be free from pain? What a huge prayer! And it was granted simply because Jabez asked.

I feel sad I have not asked more that I might not be led into temptation, not be brought to the test and that I might be delivered from evil and “be free from pain”. But these are prayers I will assiduously pray for the rest of my life.

Isn’t it scary to think that the life we lead might just bear a faint resemblance to the life we could have had if we prayed more?

Oh, what grace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer

But it is never too late to ask God to wrap our lives in his protection. And I am going to ask him to right now!

Filed Under: In which I play in the fields of Scripture Tagged With: Deliver us from evil, The Lord's Prayer

On Public Rewards for Private God-Chasing & on Prayer as the Root of a Life

By Anita Mathias


I’ve been to some good church conferences, among them John Arnott’s International Leaders School of Ministry and Paul Miller’s A Praying Life and The Person of Jesus courses. However, the St Andrew’s church weekend away led by Rupert Charkham of Holy Trinity, Cambridge, was among the most refreshing and interesting among them.

Charkham talked about prayer, and about how prayer, by the strictest divine command, must be secret (Matthew 6:6). When we pray, or live a life of prayer, we are OHMSS, Oh His Majesty’s Secret Service, and none should know it but ourselves.

He went on to say that people–even (or especially!) the committed, bustling, ubiquitous church men and women, upfront, on stage, on every committee, running everything—are tempted to neglect the life of prayer because they feel “no one can tell.”

However, Charkham went on to say, “People can tell. Prayer has a profound effect on your life. And prayerlessness has a profound effect on your life. You can’t hide either of them.”

As 90 % of the bulk of an iceberg is below the water, so 90% of what happens in our lives, and what makes us the men and women we are, and makes our lives turn out the way they have, happens in the realm of prayer. Prayer is like the roots of our lives, hidden, but vital to the health and strength of the visible plant–or life.

That’s why there is a quietness about mature Christians. Their big work is done in prayer.

Like giving, like fasting, Jesus commands us to pray in secret, seen only by God (Matthew 6 1-18). As such, it is an act of pure faith, pure love.

We are promised a reward, though. A public reward—“and your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you openly.” (Matt. 6:6).

A reward from God. Wow, it makes me rub my hands in anticipation. I am happy to take whatever reward God chooses to give me–whether in the earthly realm of health, wealth and success, or the spiritual realm of good relationships, peace, joy, shalom and happiness. Or, God willing, both!!

The things we do in secret will be revealed openly, both the good things–our prayer lives, our giving, our fasting—and our hidden intrigues, manipulations, evil words and gossip. “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.” Luke 12:1-3

* * *

 

 

Filed Under: In which I play in the fields of prayer Tagged With: God's rewards, Prayer, rupert charkham, secrecy, sermon on the mount

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Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

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Recent Posts

  • At the Cross, God Forgives Us Completely
  • Using God’s Gift of Our Talents: A Path to Joy and Abundance
  • The Kingdom of God is Here Already, Yet Not Yet Here
  • All Those Who Exalt Themselves Will Be Humbled & the Humble Will Be Exalted
  • Christ’s Great Golden Triad to Guide Our Actions and Decisions
  • How Jesus Dealt With Hostility and Enemies
  • Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
  • For Scoundrels, Scallywags, and Rascals—Christ Came
  • How to Lead an Extremely Significant Life
  • Don’t Walk Away From Jesus, but if You Do, He Still Looks at You and Loves You
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

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What I’m Reading


Wolf Hall
Hilary Mantel

Wolf Hall --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Silence and Honey Cakes:
The Wisdom Of The Desert
Rowan Williams

Silence and Honey Cakes --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Long Loneliness:
The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist
Dorothy Day

The Long Loneliness --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Country Girl
Edna O'Brien

Country Girl  - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

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My Latest Five Podcast Meditations

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anita.mathias

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets https://amzn.to/42xgL9t
Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Looking at photos from our week in beautiful Sevil Looking at photos from our week in beautiful Seville and Cordoba over New Year with Irene, who had a week off.
And, ICYMI, here’s my latest meditation on the Gospel of Matthew… I’ve recorded it, should you want a few minutes of peace.
https://anitamathias.com/2026/04/29/gods-complete-forgiveness/
Hello Friends, I'm resumed recording my meditation Hello Friends, I'm resumed recording my meditations on the Gospel of Matthew. Do click on this link to listen. 
https://anitamathias.com/.../29/gods-complete-forgiveness/
Christ is the most influential figure in the history of the world, though his life ended in shame, humiliation and failure. But he so completely turned things round in his great reversal that the cross on which he died when all seemed hopeless is now the most common, and revered, symbol in history.
He emerged from and was anchored in Judaism. And as the sins of the people were laid on the scapegoat who was sent into the wilderness to perish, Christ died as the lamb of God voluntarily bearing the guilt of the wrongdoing of the whole world. He paid the price for our forgiveness with his life-blood--in accordance with the iron law of the physical and moral universe, of sowing and reaping, cause and effect. 
And so, God, who appeared as flames of fire to Moses, can now dwell within us, purifying us, whose hearts have darkness and shards of ice. 
And now that Christ was crucified, died, but rose again, His Spirit, no longer contained within his earthly body, is poured out like living water onto all humans, at our humble request. The Spirit pours the love of God into us; he reminds us of the words of Jesus and slowly writes Christ’s sweet law on our hearts. This transfusion of grace helps us do hard things we previously couldn’t do. Our dance with the Spirit gradually breaks the power of sin over us. It transforms us.
Now we, the forgiven, protected by the blood of Jesus poured out over us, and filled with His Spirit, who sings within us, Abba, Father, are adopted by God as his children in his joyful new covenant. We are cells grafted into the vine of our new family--Father, Son, Spirit—who now live in us as we live in them. As we choose by our thoughts and actions to continue living in the vine of Jesus, their energy pulsing through us makes us fruitful. And now, all our prayers which flow in the river of God’s good purposes are kindly heard. Waves of love and power flood from the cross! 
Thank you!
Well, hello friends! Breaking radio silence to let Well, hello friends! Breaking radio silence to let you know that I have taped a meditation for you on Christ’s famous Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25. https://anitamathias.com/2025/11/05/using-gods-gift-of-our-talents-a-path-to-joy-and-abundance/
Here you are, click the play button in the blog post for a brief meditation, and some moments of peace, and, perhaps, inspiration in your day 🙂
Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
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