Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

Archives for November 2011

Party Jitters and Seeking His Face

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The said table, flower-filled here after my birthday party!
Of late, I am trying to seek Christ’s face (2 Chron 7:14) in everything. And not to do things—little or big– before I have sought his face, and his wisdom on the matter.
Now this is no easy matter for me. By temperament, I am quick-thinking, quick-talking, decisive and energetic. And impulsive! With me, thought rapidly becomes action.
So seeking his face, for me, is a matter of slowing down, and growing in wisdom.
Seeking his face also means re-examining “the things I always do,” “the way I always do things,” and “just the way I am.”
Heck, I am a human being, not a fossil. If I am not doing things in the way Christ would want me to do them–the wisest and best way!–I can change.
                                                   * * *
So I guess, this is an anecdote about something I launched into without seeking his face, and how I sought his face midway.
Roy and I celebrate our birthdays once every ten years—you know, whenever a 0 appears in our ages. Our fortieth birthdays were great fun, and we have lovely memories.
And, well, there’s a birthday coming up next month. I devoted some thought to this. I wanted to invite lots of people, everyone I am friends with and liked, but the logistics of providing a meal for loads of people–cooking, heating, serving and clearing up—were too daunting. So after much thought, we are having an open house with cake, mince pies, mulled win and snacks—and NO cooking at all.
*                                                          * * *
So far, so good. Then, unfortunately, I remembered Flylady.
Sigh. This domestic diva for the born undomestic suggests seeing your house and your garden from the point of view of someone just entering for the first time.
So I look at the garden, and I see how the shrubs need a good pruning, and every thing needs cutting back. It’s a bit too overgrown. It’s too cold for me to do it and besides I’d rather write. I don’t have the heart to get Roy to go out to do it in the cold, so I hire a gardener to do 8 hours of work. Not cheap, but I will enjoy my garden more.
* * *
Step inside, look up, see cobwebs. Engage the cleaner for a special pre-party session.
And then start looking around at the conservatory furniture. Our cherry veneer table and white damask covered chairs were bought in 1993, before our first child was even serious considered. White damask seated chairs after 17 years of girls and their friends, and many, many pets?? Yeah, time for an upgrade.
I shop antique stores on line, and buy a beautiful Edwardian cherry mahogany dining table and matching chairs.
And then, I look at our coffee table positioned under a fig tree in our conservatory, which dropped figs on to it, which affected the veneer. It was too large anyway. I look at antique tables online.
Then I notice that rabbits have gnawed the bottom of our ten year old couch, and puppy paws (our puppy’s, and the cleaner’s who brings his puppy; yeah, I’m that kind of an employer!!) have frayed the fabric. I look online for leather couches.
You might have noticed that the party is becoming rather an expensive proposition by now.
Well, so did I.
· * * *
Time for me to seek his face!
And so I set my timer for an hour, and lie face down, and seek his face about this party, and how to do it, and how he wants me to do it.
· * *
If Jesus were to throw a party…
Everything in my life is coming down to this. How would that amazing, that most marvellous of men, that moral genius, that intellectual genius, that man who has so ravished my heart and my thinking–how would he do things?
How would Jesus handle a blog if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
How would Jesus handle Twitter if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
How would Jesus throw a party if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
·                                                                                                         * * *
Sigh. Relief. The bottom line is:
None of these things I am fretting about really matter. Doesn’t matter if the conservatory is not the cleanest, though I am going to pay for it to be cleaned. Doesn’t matter if the garden is not at its winter best, though, ditto.
Furniture? Doesn’t matter. No one who’s coming expects me to be a domestic goddess—and if they did, they’ll soon expect otherwise.
So peace…
* * *
What is a party about anyway–which we forget in our over-perfectionistic, too-perfect society?
It is not a performance, a time to show off your cooking skills.
It is not an occasion to get out your crystal and candles and pretend to be Martha Stewart—though no harm in a bit of bling, if you already own it.
It is not about you.
It is not about you.
*                                                              * * *
It is about love, most overused of words. It is about people.
It is about welcoming people, being delighted to see them, enjoying them.
and making sure they enjoy themselves.
* * *
And so, while I am probably going to upgrade the sofa and the coffee table before the party—we are going to do it anyway, so why not use the party as an inciting event?—I am going to relax about the party. I am going to enjoy it. I am going to look forward to having lots of my friends together, at the sameish time, though it’s a drop-in open house.
I am going to invite people into my less than perfect house, and accept the fact that I am a woman who loves reading, writing and thinking, but have, unfortunately, little talent or interest in the noble arts of interior decoration or cooking, or the throwing of flawless parties. So I am going to stop trying to appear what I am not
But just enjoy everyone who comes, and hope they enjoy it too.
And I am going to make a list of those who’ve RSVP’d and off and on, pray for them, pray for a blessed fortnight, and that they enjoy the party as much as we intend to. There is no surer way of feeling love for people than praying for them.
*                                                           * * *
Okay, I have a little story about the Edwardian cherry mahogany table and chairs. Roy and I love antique furniture of solid wood—but hate shopping. Which presents a problem!!
So we spend a day looking at dining tables and chairs online, and get very stressed. They are not cheap—the ones we were looking at ran from £500 for just the table to £2500 for the set. And go up another 2 grand, and oh, the lovely stuff! What to choose?
We both got stressed and confused, and I couldn’t hear God’s voice.
So I settled down to pray with a timer set for an hour, for wisdom re. the antique dining table and chairs, and general party wisdom and peace.
And I hear God say, “Seek my face, enjoy me, and after this, I will tell you what to buy.”
So I call out to Roy to stop looking. “I will choose something,” I say.
And then, I expectantly surf. I have heard God tell me he will help me choose something, but what, where? We have done our research over a day of fretting rather than praying, and now have a good idea of prices. But I know that God will tell me when I see it.
And I find it. I love it, Roy loves it. It’s a private sale. We get a price we couldn’t have dreamed of.
Oh, if only I had prayed first. How much trouble I could have saved.
Here it is. Solid cherry mahogany, and the last dining table and chairs, God willing, I will ever buy.
Now, how I wish I had prayed instead of stressing.
I am rather getting into the habit of saying this, aren’t I?

Martin Luther didn’t say that, did he? Yes, he did!

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“You have as much laughter as you have faith.”

“The dog is the most faithful of animals and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest.”

“Be thou comforted, little dog, Thou too in Resurrection shall have a little golden tail”

“If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write.”

“Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.”

“A unjust law, is no law at all.”

 “I know not the way God leads me, but well do I know my Guide.”
Be a sinner and sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly.”
Spare the rod and spoil the child – that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well.” Martin Luther
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.
I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all, but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.
God writes the Gospel, not in the Bible alone, but also on tree, and in the flowers, and clouds, and stars.

 Work, work, from morning until late at night. In fact, I have so much to do that I shall have to spend the first three hours in prayer. – Martin Luther

What do you want? John 1:37

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What do you want?

Image Credit

What do you want? John 1:37
And no-nonsense, getting down to business,
the first thing you ask us.
in this most beautiful of books.
is a question.
What do you want?
I am today ashamed of the smallness
of my desire.
But here it is.
I place it in your hands.
Please grant it.
But if you transform it,
or deny it,
still, be thou blessed.
Just give me your joy.
Give me yourself.

What Do You Really Want? (John 1:37)

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Image Credit

What do you want? John 1:37

 

And no-nonsense, getting down to business,

the first thing you ask us,

in this most beautiful of books.

is a question.

What do you want?

 

I am today ashamed of the smallness

of my desire.

But I must be honest about it.

Here it is.

I place it in your hands.

Please grant it.

 

But if you transform it,

or deny it,

still, be thou blessed.

 

Just give me your joy.

Give me yourself.

 

A Famine of the Word of God

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Sweeter than honey; stronger than a lion (Image credit)

11 “The days are coming,” declares the Sovereign LORD,
“when I will send a famine through the land—
not a famine of food or a thirst for water,
but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.
12 People will stagger from sea to sea
and wander from north to east,
searching for the word of the LORD,
but they will not find it. Amos 8
I was immersed in Scripture until July this year, since I was attempting to Blog Through the Bible.
I had gone through a rough time emotionally last year, and turned to Scripture to put myself together. I was inspired by how Martin Luther was delivered from his religious perfectionism and guilt by lecturing through the Bible as a Catholic seminary professor at Wittenberg University (thereby stumbling upon the great truth that a man is saved by grace, through faith alone).
Scripture rescues him again from adrenal fatigue, nervous exhaustion, fear and depression–what we would today call a nervous breakdown–through his project of translating Scripture in the Wartburg.
I probably went at my Blog Through the Bible project too whole-heartedly, and was exhausted by July. My nerves needed a break from the project, though I didn’t realise the break would stretch to four and a half months!
For the last three months, I have felt an almost physical longing to be soaked in scripture. I have been feeling famished for it. We’ve been playing it in the car, and in rooms I tidy.
It’s the longest time I have gone without daily study of scripture in my almost 23 years as a Christian.
Well, it’s Advent, the start of the Church Year, and I am celebrating it by blogging through the Gospel of John–just looking at the words of Jesus. I will be sharing it on this blog, and here’s the first post.

 

Decluttering: An Easy Way to Start a Virtuous Circle in Your Life

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Vermeer, Music Lesson,

 

Until 2008, one of our greatest sources of sadness and irritation was the fact that we were rather messy and disorganised. And, as for the girls, well, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

But we have gradually changed. If you show up unannounced, or better still, with 15 minutes warning, you will find an acceptable house, not immaculate or even particularly tidy, but not disgraceful either.

* * *

 What changed? Partly getting a cleaner which motivated us to get everything in the right place for them to clean. And going through the house, tidying every room, once a week, motivated us to begin getting rid of things.

And space and order is addictive. Once you start decluttering, it becomes a habit to ask “Do I really need this? Is it beautiful? Is it useful?”

And how old were we when we finally got our acts together, and became tidy grown-ups? Mid-forties!!

Which shows it’s never too late to change.

* * *

And, interestingly, the last five years have also been a period of blessing and productivity for us, in many ways.

Messy, disorganized people will never achieve as much as they could, though they may be achieving enough!

* * *

 One of my inspirations was Marla Cilley, Flylady. Marla in her mid-forties was depressed, overweight, in debt, and surrounded by chaos, mess and clutter.

“Enough,” she said, one day. There was too much clutter and mess for her to clean it all up in a day, or a week, or a month, and, besides, she was depressed! However, she shone her sink, and resolved that she would continue shining her sink, if it killed her. Gradually, she began picking up the dishes around the sink, sticking them in the dishwasher, and order and beauty spread outwards.

She attributes her success at becoming a tidy, organised home-dweller to two things—consistency and persistence.  Anyone she says can run a tidy, organised home, if they work at it with consistency and persistence.

Her website flylady.net is full of practical ideas. She will email these to you if you would like to follow her way to domestic order and peace. She has worked out where to start to get out of chaos, and the most leveraged first steps. Her way definitely works!!

* * *

 Which of her tips have helped me?

1)  Anyone can do anything for 15 minutes at a time. So when a room gets messy, or when there are rooms I have never tidied properly, like the library or the garage, or the barn, I set a timer for 15 minutes. I never do more than 15 minutes on a room, so there is no risk of boredom setting in.

2)  She has cool suggestions for crisis cleaning–if guests are due, for example. Work on 3 separate rooms for 15 minutes each, take a 15 minute break. Repeat.

3) She also suggests focusing on hot spots—you know, where clutter gathers all by itself. We don’t have these any more, since we work on them weekly.

4) Most useful of all, perhaps is the concept of baby steps. Your house didn’t get messy in a day, and won’t get tidy in a day. Take small, but consistently maintained steps to get it all tidy again.

The confidence she gained in getting her domestic act together spilled over into a writing ministry. She next tackled her overweight body, “cluttered” she called it, and wrote a book about that too.  She got out of debt.

It’s amazing how confidence breeds confidence. For instance, I’ve noticed this syndrome in several people, and have sunk into it myself (except for the debt): sleeping in, a messy house, being overweight, and substantially in debt.

How to get out of it? The answer is: Start anywhere. Start with what bugs you most. Getting your house tidy or waking early will give you the time and confidence to lose weight. And the discipline and organizational skills and confidence you gain in one area will spill over to others.

* * *

For myself, getting our family business into profit gave me the confidence to get the house together (and helped pay for the cleaner) which gave me the peace and mental space to launch a reasonably successful blog, which gave me the confidence and drive to wake earlier, which gave me extra time, and I am now working on the weight, and have lost 16 pounds! You see, a virtuous circle!!

Anyway, have a look at Flylady.net. You will be entertained, and perhaps educated!!

 

The Nasrid Palace at the Alhambra (Granada, Spain)

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Detail from a courtyard wall at the Alhambra (stucco above, tile below)

(Thanks, Roy Mathias, for all your help with photographs and writing for this post.)

Click, or right click, on an image to see a larger version.

We have had wanted to visit the Alhambra for many years, and this dream came true in December 2010, while Granada, and the rest of Europe was enduring its coldest winter for years.  Granada is a rugged mountain city with steep winding roads.  The Alhambra is at the top of one of these, and is a large complex including a place, mosque, fort and extensive gardens.

Nasrid Palace (Palacios Nazaries)

The Nasrid Palace is the star attraction.  One enters through a rather disappointing entrance and into a dark hall with a carved wooden ceiling and plaster work.

However, one soon sees the real Alhambra. Here is the first courtyard

and one walks through courtyard after courtyard (details shown later)

Alcove at the Alhambra

(I never did find out what the white bowls were for.)

Water played an important role in Moorish architecture.

Alhambra (Harem courtyard)
Same view of the Harem courtyard at the Alhambra from furtherback.
Alhambra stucco work

Apparently the Alhambra was designed to be renewed and redecorated by successive rulers.  Much of the decoration is plaster, and in parts, which naturally I didn’t bother photographing, on can see it in a state of decay.  The patterns were a combination of geometric patterns, as well as Islamic inscriptions.    For example “The is no Conqueror but God”, the one time battle cry of the Nasrids, is repeated over and over again on the walls.    Here are some details.  One is surrounded by these and can spend a whole day studying the patterns, if if one can’t read the inscriptions.

larger scale view of the same

The top of a pillar — one can see remiains of blue paint.
A little hard to see, but this is a ceiling
Wooden ceiling

Towards the end of the tour one comes to the Courtyard of Lions.  Unfortunately it was undergoing repairs and we saw it only through scaffolding.  These pictures are from the web

A long day pleasant day, with only a few places to sit.