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Party Jitters and Seeking His Face

By Anita Mathias

The said table, flower-filled here after my birthday party!
Of late, I am trying to seek Christ’s face (2 Chron 7:14) in everything. And not to do things—little or big– before I have sought his face, and his wisdom on the matter.
Now this is no easy matter for me. By temperament, I am quick-thinking, quick-talking, decisive and energetic. And impulsive! With me, thought rapidly becomes action.
So seeking his face, for me, is a matter of slowing down, and growing in wisdom.
Seeking his face also means re-examining “the things I always do,” “the way I always do things,” and “just the way I am.”
Heck, I am a human being, not a fossil. If I am not doing things in the way Christ would want me to do them–the wisest and best way!–I can change.
                                                   * * *
So I guess, this is an anecdote about something I launched into without seeking his face, and how I sought his face midway.
Roy and I celebrate our birthdays once every ten years—you know, whenever a 0 appears in our ages. Our fortieth birthdays were great fun, and we have lovely memories.
And, well, there’s a birthday coming up next month. I devoted some thought to this. I wanted to invite lots of people, everyone I am friends with and liked, but the logistics of providing a meal for loads of people–cooking, heating, serving and clearing up—were too daunting. So after much thought, we are having an open house with cake, mince pies, mulled win and snacks—and NO cooking at all.
*                                                          * * *
So far, so good. Then, unfortunately, I remembered Flylady.
Sigh. This domestic diva for the born undomestic suggests seeing your house and your garden from the point of view of someone just entering for the first time.
So I look at the garden, and I see how the shrubs need a good pruning, and every thing needs cutting back. It’s a bit too overgrown. It’s too cold for me to do it and besides I’d rather write. I don’t have the heart to get Roy to go out to do it in the cold, so I hire a gardener to do 8 hours of work. Not cheap, but I will enjoy my garden more.
* * *
Step inside, look up, see cobwebs. Engage the cleaner for a special pre-party session.
And then start looking around at the conservatory furniture. Our cherry veneer table and white damask covered chairs were bought in 1993, before our first child was even serious considered. White damask seated chairs after 17 years of girls and their friends, and many, many pets?? Yeah, time for an upgrade.
I shop antique stores on line, and buy a beautiful Edwardian cherry mahogany dining table and matching chairs.
And then, I look at our coffee table positioned under a fig tree in our conservatory, which dropped figs on to it, which affected the veneer. It was too large anyway. I look at antique tables online.
Then I notice that rabbits have gnawed the bottom of our ten year old couch, and puppy paws (our puppy’s, and the cleaner’s who brings his puppy; yeah, I’m that kind of an employer!!) have frayed the fabric. I look online for leather couches.
You might have noticed that the party is becoming rather an expensive proposition by now.
Well, so did I.
· * * *
Time for me to seek his face!
And so I set my timer for an hour, and lie face down, and seek his face about this party, and how to do it, and how he wants me to do it.
· * *
If Jesus were to throw a party…
Everything in my life is coming down to this. How would that amazing, that most marvellous of men, that moral genius, that intellectual genius, that man who has so ravished my heart and my thinking–how would he do things?
How would Jesus handle a blog if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
How would Jesus handle Twitter if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
How would Jesus throw a party if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
·                                                                                                         * * *
Sigh. Relief. The bottom line is:
None of these things I am fretting about really matter. Doesn’t matter if the conservatory is not the cleanest, though I am going to pay for it to be cleaned. Doesn’t matter if the garden is not at its winter best, though, ditto.
Furniture? Doesn’t matter. No one who’s coming expects me to be a domestic goddess—and if they did, they’ll soon expect otherwise.
So peace…
* * *
What is a party about anyway–which we forget in our over-perfectionistic, too-perfect society?
It is not a performance, a time to show off your cooking skills.
It is not an occasion to get out your crystal and candles and pretend to be Martha Stewart—though no harm in a bit of bling, if you already own it.
It is not about you.
It is not about you.
*                                                              * * *
It is about love, most overused of words. It is about people.
It is about welcoming people, being delighted to see them, enjoying them.
and making sure they enjoy themselves.
* * *
And so, while I am probably going to upgrade the sofa and the coffee table before the party—we are going to do it anyway, so why not use the party as an inciting event?—I am going to relax about the party. I am going to enjoy it. I am going to look forward to having lots of my friends together, at the sameish time, though it’s a drop-in open house.
I am going to invite people into my less than perfect house, and accept the fact that I am a woman who loves reading, writing and thinking, but have, unfortunately, little talent or interest in the noble arts of interior decoration or cooking, or the throwing of flawless parties. So I am going to stop trying to appear what I am not
But just enjoy everyone who comes, and hope they enjoy it too.
And I am going to make a list of those who’ve RSVP’d and off and on, pray for them, pray for a blessed fortnight, and that they enjoy the party as much as we intend to. There is no surer way of feeling love for people than praying for them.
*                                                           * * *
Okay, I have a little story about the Edwardian cherry mahogany table and chairs. Roy and I love antique furniture of solid wood—but hate shopping. Which presents a problem!!
So we spend a day looking at dining tables and chairs online, and get very stressed. They are not cheap—the ones we were looking at ran from £500 for just the table to £2500 for the set. And go up another 2 grand, and oh, the lovely stuff! What to choose?
We both got stressed and confused, and I couldn’t hear God’s voice.
So I settled down to pray with a timer set for an hour, for wisdom re. the antique dining table and chairs, and general party wisdom and peace.
And I hear God say, “Seek my face, enjoy me, and after this, I will tell you what to buy.”
So I call out to Roy to stop looking. “I will choose something,” I say.
And then, I expectantly surf. I have heard God tell me he will help me choose something, but what, where? We have done our research over a day of fretting rather than praying, and now have a good idea of prices. But I know that God will tell me when I see it.
And I find it. I love it, Roy loves it. It’s a private sale. We get a price we couldn’t have dreamed of.
Oh, if only I had prayed first. How much trouble I could have saved.
Here it is. Solid cherry mahogany, and the last dining table and chairs, God willing, I will ever buy.
Now, how I wish I had prayed instead of stressing.
I am rather getting into the habit of saying this, aren’t I?

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Comments

  1. Anita says

    December 5, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    Thanks, Jen, thanks Tracy.
    @Jen, your beautiful house looks party-ready from the photos I've seen!

  2. Tracy says

    December 5, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Hi Anita – just wanted to come over and say thank you for linking up on winsome wednesday. Look forward to seeing you there again this week
    God bless
    Tracy

  3. Jennifer in OR says

    November 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    Gorgeous table.chairs!

    Was just thinking about hosting a Christmas party and had already gone down your road of thoughts in my mind, then came here and read this!

  4. Anita says

    November 30, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    Thank so much, Carol. I hope you find beautiful curtains! 🙂

  5. Carol says

    November 30, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    Oh Anita, I love your blog! I can so relate. I know that your lucky guests will thoroughly enjoy themselves at your party. I can tell just be reading your blog that you cherish your family and friends and they cannot help but feel it. Praying you will have a wonderful time.
    You have given me pause…I have been looking online for material for new curtains in my living room…maybe I need to start on my knees!
    Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us,
    Carol

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Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Recent Posts

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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