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| The said table, flower-filled here after my birthday party! |
Of late, I am trying to seek Christ’s face (2 Chron 7:14) in everything. And not to do things—little or big– before I have sought his face, and his wisdom on the matter.
Now this is no easy matter for me. By temperament, I am quick-thinking, quick-talking, decisive and energetic. And impulsive! With me, thought rapidly becomes action.
So seeking his face, for me, is a matter of slowing down, and growing in wisdom.
Seeking his face also means re-examining “the things I always do,” “the way I always do things,” and “just the way I am.”
Heck, I am a human being, not a fossil. If I am not doing things in the way Christ would want me to do them–the wisest and best way!–I can change.
* * *
So I guess, this is an anecdote about something I launched into without seeking his face, and how I sought his face midway.
So I guess, this is an anecdote about something I launched into without seeking his face, and how I sought his face midway.
Roy and I celebrate our birthdays once every ten years—you know, whenever a 0 appears in our ages. Our fortieth birthdays were great fun, and we have lovely memories.
And, well, there’s a birthday coming up next month. I devoted some thought to this. I wanted to invite lots of people, everyone I am friends with and liked, but the logistics of providing a meal for loads of people–cooking, heating, serving and clearing up—were too daunting. So after much thought, we are having an open house with cake, mince pies, mulled win and snacks—and NO cooking at all.
* * * *
* * * *
So far, so good. Then, unfortunately, I remembered Flylady.
Sigh. This domestic diva for the born undomestic suggests seeing your house and your garden from the point of view of someone just entering for the first time.
So I look at the garden, and I see how the shrubs need a good pruning, and every thing needs cutting back. It’s a bit too overgrown. It’s too cold for me to do it and besides I’d rather write. I don’t have the heart to get Roy to go out to do it in the cold, so I hire a gardener to do 8 hours of work. Not cheap, but I will enjoy my garden more.
* * *
Step inside, look up, see cobwebs. Engage the cleaner for a special pre-party session.
* * *
Step inside, look up, see cobwebs. Engage the cleaner for a special pre-party session.
And then start looking around at the conservatory furniture. Our cherry veneer table and white damask covered chairs were bought in 1993, before our first child was even serious considered. White damask seated chairs after 17 years of girls and their friends, and many, many pets?? Yeah, time for an upgrade.
I shop antique stores on line, and buy a beautiful Edwardian cherry mahogany dining table and matching chairs.
And then, I look at our coffee table positioned under a fig tree in our conservatory, which dropped figs on to it, which affected the veneer. It was too large anyway. I look at antique tables online.
Then I notice that rabbits have gnawed the bottom of our ten year old couch, and puppy paws (our puppy’s, and the cleaner’s who brings his puppy; yeah, I’m that kind of an employer!!) have frayed the fabric. I look online for leather couches.
You might have noticed that the party is becoming rather an expensive proposition by now.
Well, so did I.
· * * *
Time for me to seek his face!
· * * *
Time for me to seek his face!
And so I set my timer for an hour, and lie face down, and seek his face about this party, and how to do it, and how he wants me to do it.
· * *
If Jesus were to throw a party…
· * *
If Jesus were to throw a party…
Everything in my life is coming down to this. How would that amazing, that most marvellous of men, that moral genius, that intellectual genius, that man who has so ravished my heart and my thinking–how would he do things?
How would Jesus handle a blog if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
How would Jesus handle Twitter if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
How would Jesus throw a party if he were me? How does he want me to do it?
· * * *
Sigh. Relief. The bottom line is:
· * * *
Sigh. Relief. The bottom line is:
None of these things I am fretting about really matter. Doesn’t matter if the conservatory is not the cleanest, though I am going to pay for it to be cleaned. Doesn’t matter if the garden is not at its winter best, though, ditto.
Furniture? Doesn’t matter. No one who’s coming expects me to be a domestic goddess—and if they did, they’ll soon expect otherwise.
So peace…
* * *
So peace…
* * *
What is a party about anyway–which we forget in our over-perfectionistic, too-perfect society?
It is not a performance, a time to show off your cooking skills.
It is not an occasion to get out your crystal and candles and pretend to be Martha Stewart—though no harm in a bit of bling, if you already own it.
It is not about you.
It is not about you.
* * * *
* * * *
It is about love, most overused of words. It is about people.
It is about welcoming people, being delighted to see them, enjoying them.
and making sure they enjoy themselves.
* * *
* * *
And so, while I am probably going to upgrade the sofa and the coffee table before the party—we are going to do it anyway, so why not use the party as an inciting event?—I am going to relax about the party. I am going to enjoy it. I am going to look forward to having lots of my friends together, at the sameish time, though it’s a drop-in open house.
I am going to invite people into my less than perfect house, and accept the fact that I am a woman who loves reading, writing and thinking, but have, unfortunately, little talent or interest in the noble arts of interior decoration or cooking, or the throwing of flawless parties. So I am going to stop trying to appear what I am not
But just enjoy everyone who comes, and hope they enjoy it too.
And I am going to make a list of those who’ve RSVP’d and off and on, pray for them, pray for a blessed fortnight, and that they enjoy the party as much as we intend to. There is no surer way of feeling love for people than praying for them.
* * * *
* * * *
Okay, I have a little story about the Edwardian cherry mahogany table and chairs. Roy and I love antique furniture of solid wood—but hate shopping. Which presents a problem!!
So we spend a day looking at dining tables and chairs online, and get very stressed. They are not cheap—the ones we were looking at ran from £500 for just the table to £2500 for the set. And go up another 2 grand, and oh, the lovely stuff! What to choose?
We both got stressed and confused, and I couldn’t hear God’s voice.
So I settled down to pray with a timer set for an hour, for wisdom re. the antique dining table and chairs, and general party wisdom and peace.
And I hear God say, “Seek my face, enjoy me, and after this, I will tell you what to buy.”
So I call out to Roy to stop looking. “I will choose something,” I say.
And then, I expectantly surf. I have heard God tell me he will help me choose something, but what, where? We have done our research over a day of fretting rather than praying, and now have a good idea of prices. But I know that God will tell me when I see it.
And I find it. I love it, Roy loves it. It’s a private sale. We get a price we couldn’t have dreamed of.
Oh, if only I had prayed first. How much trouble I could have saved.
Here it is. Solid cherry mahogany, and the last dining table and chairs, God willing, I will ever buy.
Now, how I wish I had prayed instead of stressing.
I am rather getting into the habit of saying this, aren’t I?
I am rather getting into the habit of saying this, aren’t I?
Anita says
December 5, 2011 at 8:55 pmThanks, Jen, thanks Tracy.
@Jen, your beautiful house looks party-ready from the photos I've seen!
Tracy says
December 5, 2011 at 10:47 amHi Anita – just wanted to come over and say thank you for linking up on winsome wednesday. Look forward to seeing you there again this week
God bless
Tracy
Jennifer in OR says
November 30, 2011 at 7:17 pmGorgeous table.chairs!
Was just thinking about hosting a Christmas party and had already gone down your road of thoughts in my mind, then came here and read this!
Anita says
November 30, 2011 at 6:13 pmThank so much, Carol. I hope you find beautiful curtains! 🙂
Carol says
November 30, 2011 at 5:38 pmOh Anita, I love your blog! I can so relate. I know that your lucky guests will thoroughly enjoy themselves at your party. I can tell just be reading your blog that you cherish your family and friends and they cannot help but feel it. Praying you will have a wonderful time.
You have given me pause…I have been looking online for material for new curtains in my living room…maybe I need to start on my knees!
Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us,
Carol