Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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On Quitting Things…and Breaking Free

By Anita Mathias

I’ve read that Indians catch monkeys by placing a peanut (called “monkey nut” in India) in a bottle. The monkey plunges its slender paw into the bottle, grasps the peanut, tries to withdraw its clenched paw clasping the nut, but cannot. He thrashes around; the noise alerts the homeowner, who captures him, as a pet, as a performing monkey, or simply kills him to stop relentless thefts from fruit trees. The thing is: all the monkey has to do to be free is to let go of the peanut. If he could do that, he could have the whole world…but not the peanut. It’s as easy…and momentarily difficult…as that.

It’s a metaphor for how letting go of the things that consume too much of our time, energy, emotion, and attention, that have us thrashing around like a flustered, bewildered, infuriated monkey…is easier than we think, though, of course, costly.

I’ve been on a journey over the last few months of quitting habits I have had for years. For instance, I had 2 tablets of Nightol (an herbal concoction) to sleep for about ten years. Then I read that while it helps you drift off more rapidly, it affects the REM sleep in which the dreaming necessary for mental, emotional and spiritual health occurs, and in which memory consolidation and creative problem-solving occurs. In which emotions are processed, often resolved, and catharsis occurs. The REM sleep vital to mental health. So I decided to cut all sleeping aids cold turkey. It was hard for a few days, but now I use a meditation and deep breathing tape to help me drift off, and it works just as well, in fact better, and,  my sleep is indeed deeper and more refreshing, as I had hoped.

Similarly, I had used the herb St. John’s Wort, maximum dose, as a mood uplifter for the same ten years. On learning that it affected the depth of sleep, as well as precious REM sleep, I went off it on the first day of holiday in Dubrovnik this Easter, when the sights and stimulation and adventure were enough to distract me from needing the herbal “high.” I missed it for a week or two, but that’s it.

I used to be addicted to chocolate, then cut it down to a bar a week, then to a little Green and Blacks bar a day, 85 calories, which could become two bars. But then, since my present goal is 1200 calories a day, mainly from vegetables, that little bar didn’t bring the most blessing to my body, and kept me dependent on the crutch of sugar, and chocolate, and calories to boost my brain chemistry and mood. So, with the encouragement of a health coach, I cut chocolate, just like that, and used a meditation app when I craved chocolate, and now after several weeks, by the grace of God, I no longer crave it.

Quitting chocolate was followed by quitting sugar. Keeping food charts revealed all the little treats of cookies, cheese cake, ice cream, biscuits, desserts, cake, dried fruit I had been consuming in a course of a week, so I resolved to quit buying them and two months later I hardly ever crave them. (I do have them on social occasions, but just a little because they now adversely affect my emotions and brain), Again, I tried movement, a run, or tidying my room, or guided meditation and deep breathing to snap my brain out of the restlessness of craving sweet things.

The biggest shift, which changed the whole way I eat, was cutting out carbs. Bread, rice, potatoes, noodles, pasta–sayonara. All gone. Bye-bye crisps, and crackers on cheese, and sandwiches, and garlic bread and baked potatoes. This is not necessary for everyone, of course, but the extra weight I was carrying led to sciatica (now 95% gone). Cutting carbs necessarily led to having to eat in a new way… a little fish or meat at each meal, nuts at some, and lots of vegetables and fruit. Basically, Atkins or Keto. It’s time-consuming for us… finding new recipes, and counting those darn calories, but I have lost 19 pounds over the last months, simply by cutting the things that were not a blessing to my body. (I have more to lose, by the way, but am 42 pounds down from where I was six years ago).

The hardest, the hardest thing to cut was caffeine. Dr Fuhrman, who wrote the best book on diet I know Eat to Live, says “More than a cup of coffee can interfere with your health, and your weight loss goals,” and Lisa, my health coach strongly recommended it. I was rarely without a cup of tea near my reading chair and had several cups of cappuccino or coffee a day… how many exactly became clear when I started keeping food charts. It’s almost two months since I reduced that to two cups a day, occasionally lapsing into three, and I am still struggling with that, though less than I used to. But I can still concentrate and read and write, though more slowly and less pleasurably than when caffeine made concentration razor-sharp. But without the caffeine-aided focus and speed, the artificial mountain top, there is less of a descent into the valley of sleepiness, grogginess and lost focus, which leads one craving another cup, and another. The caffeine-induced vicious circle. It is taking me a while to get used to two or three cups of either coffee or tea rather than chain-drinking tea, but God-willing, I will ultimately become a happy peppermint-tea fuelled girl.

Sometimes we define ourselves by things we do… I need carbs, I am addicted to chocolate, I have a sweet tooth, I need… I am… but if these self-definitions, these evil stories, these vicious narratives do not serve us, we must change them. It takes time and effort to write a new story on paper as in life, but we can always begin. It’s murder for a week or so when it comes to sugar or chocolate or carbs, longer when it comes to caffeine, but then we are out of the cave of powerlessness and helplessness, and into the light.

The creative Bob Goff quits something every Thursday. He quit Bible studies, concluding that he had enough knowledge already to follow Christ, and he now actually needed to DO something, and instead has a Bible Doing with a couple of friends, discussing how they can practice what they just learnt. He quit all Boards of which he was a member of… and so on. Quitting dead-weight things is a good habit. This is what I’ve quit over the last few month… herbal sleeping pills, herbal mood uplifts, caffeine, chocolate, sugary treats, bread, noodles, pasta, pizza, rice, potatoes, crisps.

I am still quitting one thing a week. For instance, I am limiting my internet use with the help of the web-blockers, Cold Turkey and Freedom, cutting either the entire web for four hours at a time, or  just the social media and news. I am also decluttering a little.  This has begun to release time for more life-giving things, reading, writing, learning German, gardening, yoga, and a bit of running. Like Bob Goff, I plan to quit one thing, big or small, each week, and as time shows up, add new practices and habits, big or small, that are nourishing and life-giving. Wish me luck!!

P.S. Of course  there has been an element of the chairos time, and the grace of God involved. If breaking free from bad habits were as easy as just stopping it, I would have done so long ago; we all would have. And perhaps, it is. (Though watch this)

But there is also, as the Bible says, an enemy of our souls, and dark forces who adore sin and bondage. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying.” Ephesians 6 10-18

There is hope for the battle in Jesus, who takes our hands as we walk on the waters of what we once considered impossible. All things are possible if we hold the hand of Jesus, and for just thirty seconds take one step in the right direction. And then, take a deep breath, and still holding onto to the hand of Jesus, take another thirty-second step into the light, towards Jesus, and health, and wholeness, and happiness.

Love, Anita

A couple of favourite and related books I’d like to recommend

Matthew Walker’s brilliant book on better sleep: Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk

Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk  

(affiliate links 🙂

Filed Under: Habits, Habits Tagged With: Bob Goff, breaking free, coffee, diet, freedom, habits, meditation, quitting things, waking early

The Best Way to Develop Shiny New Habits

By Anita Mathias

 

Blogging almost daily for three and a half years has led to self-awareness. I have grown bored of boasting of my weaknesses.

There is a time for self-analysis, and a time for acting on that analysis, and that time came!  

And so I am in the process of developing shiny new habits. These are not yet jelled, but the trajectory is looking good.

* * *

The best way I know to form new habits is the most boring, but the most certain.

Start where you are. [Read more…]

Filed Under: In which I celebrate discipline Tagged With: decluttering, discipline, exercise, Gardening, habits, reading, waking early, writing

How Circling Prayer can Convert a Vicious Circle to a Virtuous Circle

By Anita Mathias

Have you ever experienced a vicious circle?

You know: Feel sad. Eat chocolate or sugary treats. Feel hyper or aggressive. It wears off. Feel sad. And grumpy and defeated about the weight gain. Eat chocolate to help you feel better. And then…

Or: Get stressed and tired. Let things lie where they fall. House gets messy. You get too stressed and low-spirited to pick it up. Things get lost and replaced. You feel bad about the mess and the waste of money, and that it would take too much energy to invite your friends over. Tidying would barely make a dent in the mess, so you don’t, and mess grows. And …

Or: Wake late, keep looking at the time. The day is slipping away without much getting done, feel depressed and defeated. Drink coffee, get a second wind, stay up late, aimlessly surfing Facebook, blogs, twitter, newspapers. So can’t wake early the next day. And so…sense defeat through the day.

Very, very sadly, I have slipped into each of these circles for years, even decades of my life!! I do confess it. Thankfully, though, I am not in any of these vicious circles at the moment!

Drawing Prayer Circles: Ways to change a vicious circle to a virtuous one

 I am reading Mark Batterson’s The Circle-Maker. Mark talks about drawing figurative circles around your Jericho, the one dream you have longed for all your life, the dream your life has always tended towards, and pray bold, fervent, consistent prayers over it. Powerful prayers need to be specific, he says, just as powerful writing does.

I recently read a fascinating book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg which mentions keystone habits, which set up a cascade of positive changes in one’s life. One of these is exercise, which is scientifically proven to make you feel better through the release of endorphins, so that you sleep better, work better, feel happier, and have better relationships. Other keystone habits, unsurprisingly, are waking early, and domestic order.

* * *

So one way to change a vicious circle to a virtuous one is to circle it in prayer–pray circles around it. The habit you want to change will be uppermost in your mind, and grace will be given you to make the tiny necessary changes, which will start a virtuous circle in place of the vicious one.

I have started circling many areas of my life in prayer— my husband, children, memoir, blog, writing plans, weight, home, garden, career, finances, love of travel etc.

And in each of these I am praying for a virtuous circle—where each action creates momentum and leverage, making the next virtuous action easier.

My Personal Jericho

Can you put a due date on the walls of Jericho crumbling? In Joshua 6, it was on the seventh day.

I’ve set a date for my Jericho to collapse—September 29th, 2016. It would be the day I first arrived in England, full of dreams and hopes and ambition, which have not been fulfilled, but life is long, and sometimes, God prioritises changes in you before he lets your dreams come true.

So these are the walls of Jericho which I would like to collapse by September 29th, 2016.

1)   I would like to finish my memoir, which is now in a polished second draft (while not neglecting my blog).

2)    I would like to get healthy. I am currently 84 pounds overweight, and I would like to get to a healthy weight

3)   I would like to get the house decluttered, with everything in its place, and everything not beautiful or useful donated or chucked. (We’ve been tidying and decluttering weekly since summer 2008, so have made huge progress on this).

4)   I would like to wake at 5 a.m.

Am I biting off more than I can chew? Who knows, but with God’s help, I believe the walls of this Jericho will crumble.

* * *

Synergy

And I hope these goals are synergistic, and will set up a virtuous circle in my life

1 Exercise will help me sleep better, be clear-headed for writing, and feel happy. It will, also, God willing, build up muscles which will boost my metabolism.

I am planning to continue losing weight through Dr. Furhman’s Eat to Live diet as a template (with some deviations), and have already lost 18 pounds on it. It is a nutritarian diet, so, God willing, I will continue to rarely be ill, and to have high levels of energy.

2) Waking early will give me more time to exercise, to tidy the house, and to write, and will give me an increased sense of well-being and shalom.

3) Keeping the house orderly and tidy will increase my shalom and mental wealth. And increase focus for writing.

4) Writing–well that’s in a category in itself! The way it could help my other goals would be through the happiness it gives me. Though Julia Cameron suggests that writing down your words daily helps you lose weight.

So that’s it. That’s the Jericho I am praying around. If you think of me, pray for me, please?

Filed Under: In which I get serious about health and diet and fitness and exercise (really), In which I Pursue Personal Transformation or Sanctification Tagged With: change, changing habits, charles duehigg, circle maker, exercise, Mark Batterson, order and tidying, Prayer, the power of habit, tranformation, vicious circles, virtuous circles, waking early, writing

Fail Better: Only Do Not Go Backwards

By Anita Mathias

Image Credit

The aged Abraham sends his servant back to Ur to get a wife for Isaac with these instructions, “Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. “Only do not take my son back there.” (Gen. 24:8).

Straight ahead lay the land of promise, the land to which he had specifically been called. Ur was the land he had been called out of.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. 

― Samuel Beckett, Worstward Ho.

Only do not go backwards.

* * *

Failing Better with the Bible

I am reading this Genesis passage because it is my third (and final and God willing successful) attempt at blogging through the Bible. My first, in 2011, failed because I make the mistake of attempting to comment on every passage, not just on what most spoke to me in the readings of the day.

My second attempt, this January, failed because I again tried to keep up with the readings of the day, an impossible, quixotic endeavour. Blogging through the Bible on a standard reading plan of 4 passages a day involves writing 1460 posts a year. Who could write that many? And who could read them?!!

So I am trying again, taking my time, listening to what scripture is saying to me, writing that down, 2-3 posts a week at best. It will be a marathon, but reading scripture is not a sprint. It is a way of spiritual transformation.

* * *

Failing Better with Diet and Weight Loss

Sometimes success consists of just hanging in there, through plateaus. Jon Acuff writes somewhere that the diet that helped him lose 30 pounds was the diet he stuck to. There’s something to that.

But there is also something in learning from your past failures: studying what worked, and what did not work, and devising a plan likely to set you up for success.

Staying in the ring, and failing better and better until you succeed!

 

I have learned something from each dieting failure, for instance.

1 Weight Watchers. Ugh. Emphasis on calorie restriction kept me focused on food. Also calorie restriction may not work long term: it lowers your metabolism so that when you resume normal eating, you gain it all back!

2 Vegetarianism. Because I love carbs, I didn’t lose as much as I should have on this, and, nutritionally, substituting carbs for meat and dairy and eggs probably had dubious nutritional value.

3 Metabolic Typing Diet. Turned out that I, unusually for Asians, am a “protein type.” (A throwback to my paternal grandmother’s Portuguese grandmother, and the Portuguese on my mother’s side too?) Which means I do not metabolize carbs as easily as protein, more easily gaining weight with carbs than with meat or fish.

4 Atkins/South Beach. Being a protein type, I lose weight on these, but find it hard to get through the first two weeks!!

5 The Weigh Down Diet. The Presbyterian church I attended for a few years in Williamsburg had a Sunday School class on this eccentric diet! It was eat anything you want, as much as you want, when you are hungry, and stop when you are full.

By allowing chocolate, cookies and cheesecake, the diet aims at removing them as objects of lust. Oddly, I lost 10 pounds on this. But, nutritionally, it was nuts!

* * *

However, instead of viewing these discarded diets as failures, I have decided to view them as learning experiences. I have been very slowly losing weight (13 pounds over the last 9 months) through life-style change for life,  designing a diet which includes things I’ve learned from each of my diets

1. I no longer set out to restrict calories as that lowers my metabolism, but, in effect, do so by trying to have a green smoothie and a salad at most meals.

Because of the impressive nutritional and immunological  benefits of largely vegan and vegetarian meals, I am trying  to eat a diet that’s largely fruit and vegetables, with some protein, according to my body’s felt needs.

2. I limit sugar, chocolate and nutritionally empty white flour or white rice.

3. I try to do a 3.5 mile walk every second day, which probably works wonders for my metabolism.

4. From the Weigh-Down Diet, I’ve learned that it’s okay to have   occasional favourite meals, Indian and Chinese takeaway etc., and the occasional sweet treat. Knowing these are permitted on occasion, I do not get discouraged and resume undisciplined eating after one of these treats.

5 Another Weigh-Down Principle: Never use food as a recreational activity or for emotional needs. The risks to health are not worth it.

So I am trying to find appropriate interventions when sad, angry, bored, stressed, which do not involve calories. I am also trying to break a lifelong habit of grazing through the day, and am trying to train myself not to eat between meals unless I am truly hungry. Knowing I am not going to eat until the next meal gives me the same sense of peace and freedom as when I lock myself out of facebook, twitter, email, and newspapers!

Weight loss has been slow with many plateaus, because I am overcoming the engrained bad eating habits of a lifetime, reacquainting myself with what physical hunger feels like, learning not to eat absent-mindedly.  But I am determined, whatever I do, not to go backwards.

* * *

Failing Better with Early Rising

I have, for many years, had a romantic desire to wake at 5 o’clock, and enjoy sunrise and sunset in the same day.

However, I have my most concentrated periods of thinking , writing and reading in the evenings.  So cutting out a beloved productive time by going to sleep at 9 to wake at 5 felt a bit stupid to me, and my attempts to wake at 5 were short-lived.

My latest wake-early attempt began in late May, and I am now waking at 6.40 a.m., pushing it back 15 minutes every 4 days then maintaining it a bit. Should get there.

I have learned from my failures. Telling myself I have to get to bed early stresses my evening, and deprives me of productive time. So I am using bi-phasic sleeping which works very well for me: less than 8 hours at night, but a longish nap in the afternoon between two periods of work. Iris Murdoch in The Good Apprentice calls this getting two days for the price of one!

* * *

In any enterprise, running an orderly house, learning to write, becoming formidably well-read: keep proceeding, even by millimetres in the direction of your dreams, and you will achieve a success you did not dream of in lesser hours.

If you can’t proceed, rest at a plateau; just do not go backwards.

And then try again, though not using the same strategy which just failed (one definition of insanity). Instead, keep what worked, examine what failed, see how to replace it with something better, and try again, failing better until you succeed.

How about you? Are there areas in which you’ve learned from failure, and are now failing better? Or even succeeding?

 

Filed Under: Genesis Tagged With: blog through the bible, diet, failing better, Genesis, learning from failure, waking early, weight loss

Decluttering: An Easy Way to Start a Virtuous Circle in Your Life

By Anita Mathias

Vermeer, Music Lesson,

 

Until 2008, one of our greatest sources of sadness and irritation was the fact that we were rather messy and disorganised. And, as for the girls, well, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

But we have gradually changed. If you show up unannounced, or better still, with 15 minutes warning, you will find an acceptable house, not immaculate or even particularly tidy, but not disgraceful either.

* * *

 What changed? Partly getting a cleaner which motivated us to get everything in the right place for them to clean. And going through the house, tidying every room, once a week, motivated us to begin getting rid of things.

And space and order is addictive. Once you start decluttering, it becomes a habit to ask “Do I really need this? Is it beautiful? Is it useful?”

And how old were we when we finally got our acts together, and became tidy grown-ups? Mid-forties!!

Which shows it’s never too late to change.

* * *

And, interestingly, the last five years have also been a period of blessing and productivity for us, in many ways.

Messy, disorganized people will never achieve as much as they could, though they may be achieving enough!

* * *

 One of my inspirations was Marla Cilley, Flylady. Marla in her mid-forties was depressed, overweight, in debt, and surrounded by chaos, mess and clutter.

“Enough,” she said, one day. There was too much clutter and mess for her to clean it all up in a day, or a week, or a month, and, besides, she was depressed! However, she shone her sink, and resolved that she would continue shining her sink, if it killed her. Gradually, she began picking up the dishes around the sink, sticking them in the dishwasher, and order and beauty spread outwards.

She attributes her success at becoming a tidy, organised home-dweller to two things—consistency and persistence.  Anyone she says can run a tidy, organised home, if they work at it with consistency and persistence.

Her website flylady.net is full of practical ideas. She will email these to you if you would like to follow her way to domestic order and peace. She has worked out where to start to get out of chaos, and the most leveraged first steps. Her way definitely works!!

* * *

 Which of her tips have helped me?

1)  Anyone can do anything for 15 minutes at a time. So when a room gets messy, or when there are rooms I have never tidied properly, like the library or the garage, or the barn, I set a timer for 15 minutes. I never do more than 15 minutes on a room, so there is no risk of boredom setting in.

2)  She has cool suggestions for crisis cleaning–if guests are due, for example. Work on 3 separate rooms for 15 minutes each, take a 15 minute break. Repeat.

3) She also suggests focusing on hot spots—you know, where clutter gathers all by itself. We don’t have these any more, since we work on them weekly.

4) Most useful of all, perhaps is the concept of baby steps. Your house didn’t get messy in a day, and won’t get tidy in a day. Take small, but consistently maintained steps to get it all tidy again.

The confidence she gained in getting her domestic act together spilled over into a writing ministry. She next tackled her overweight body, “cluttered” she called it, and wrote a book about that too.  She got out of debt.

It’s amazing how confidence breeds confidence. For instance, I’ve noticed this syndrome in several people, and have sunk into it myself (except for the debt): sleeping in, a messy house, being overweight, and substantially in debt.

How to get out of it? The answer is: Start anywhere. Start with what bugs you most. Getting your house tidy or waking early will give you the time and confidence to lose weight. And the discipline and organizational skills and confidence you gain in one area will spill over to others.

* * *

For myself, getting our family business into profit gave me the confidence to get the house together (and helped pay for the cleaner) which gave me the peace and mental space to launch a reasonably successful blog, which gave me the confidence and drive to wake earlier, which gave me extra time, and I am now working on the weight, and have lost 16 pounds! You see, a virtuous circle!!

Anyway, have a look at Flylady.net. You will be entertained, and perhaps educated!!

 

Filed Under: Finding God in Domesticity Tagged With: decluttering, domesticity, Flylady, housework, losing weight, waking early

In which I Resolve to Wake Early

By Anita Mathias

I remember a talk by Jack Miller of World Harvest Mission which made fun of Samuel Johnson (Dr. Johnson’s) resolutions to wake earlier. “I am resolved to wake at noon tomorrow. Though it be late, it is still earlier than the time I work today–which was noon”
And so it goes, through the decades, going to bed at 2, or 3 or 4, waking up in the afternoon, excoriating himself, resolutions, failure.
The audience roared with laughter.  I found it tragic.
Miller concluded that that this cycle of resolution and failure was because Johnson, a Christian, did not know how to rely on the power of God.
Perhaps…
I do know I have rarely succeeded in waking early for any length of time.
Steve Pavlina in his personal development blog suggests that the usual advice given–sleep at the same time, wake at the same time–is faulty. He suggests instead sleeping only when one is really, really sleepy–but waking at the same time, daily.
I should try it. After all, what can be lost by waking up when one is still tired? One can always nap.
I am going to put my alarm 5 minutes earlier tomorrow than it was today, and so on everyday, until I am waking up early.
Stay tuned.

Filed Under: In which I celebrate discipline Tagged With: Steve Pavlina, waking early

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John Mark Comer

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Elizabeth Strout

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The Long Loneliness:
The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist
Dorothy Day

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The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry:
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John Mark Comer

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anita.mathias

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets https://amzn.to/42xgL9t
Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
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