Have you ever experienced a vicious circle?
You know: Feel sad. Eat chocolate or sugary treats. Feel hyper or aggressive. It wears off. Feel sad. And grumpy and defeated about the weight gain. Eat chocolate to help you feel better. And then…
Or: Get stressed and tired. Let things lie where they fall. House gets messy. You get too stressed and low-spirited to pick it up. Things get lost and replaced. You feel bad about the mess and the waste of money, and that it would take too much energy to invite your friends over. Tidying would barely make a dent in the mess, so you don’t, and mess grows. And …
Or: Wake late, keep looking at the time. The day is slipping away without much getting done, feel depressed and defeated. Drink coffee, get a second wind, stay up late, aimlessly surfing Facebook, blogs, twitter, newspapers. So can’t wake early the next day. And so…sense defeat through the day.
Very, very sadly, I have slipped into each of these circles for years, even decades of my life!! I do confess it. Thankfully, though, I am not in any of these vicious circles at the moment!
Drawing Prayer Circles: Ways to change a vicious circle to a virtuous one
I am reading Mark Batterson’s The Circle-Maker. Mark talks about drawing figurative circles around your Jericho, the one dream you have longed for all your life, the dream your life has always tended towards, and pray bold, fervent, consistent prayers over it. Powerful prayers need to be specific, he says, just as powerful writing does.
I recently read a fascinating book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg which mentions keystone habits, which set up a cascade of positive changes in one’s life. One of these is exercise, which is scientifically proven to make you feel better through the release of endorphins, so that you sleep better, work better, feel happier, and have better relationships. Other keystone habits, unsurprisingly, are waking early, and domestic order.
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So one way to change a vicious circle to a virtuous one is to circle it in prayer–pray circles around it. The habit you want to change will be uppermost in your mind, and grace will be given you to make the tiny necessary changes, which will start a virtuous circle in place of the vicious one.
I have started circling many areas of my life in prayer— my husband, children, memoir, blog, writing plans, weight, home, garden, career, finances, love of travel etc.
And in each of these I am praying for a virtuous circle—where each action creates momentum and leverage, making the next virtuous action easier.
My Personal Jericho
Can you put a due date on the walls of Jericho crumbling? In Joshua 6, it was on the seventh day.
I’ve set a date for my Jericho to collapse—September 29th, 2016. It would be the day I first arrived in England, full of dreams and hopes and ambition, which have not been fulfilled, but life is long, and sometimes, God prioritises changes in you before he lets your dreams come true.
So these are the walls of Jericho which I would like to collapse by September 29th, 2016.
1) I would like to finish my memoir, which is now in a polished second draft (while not neglecting my blog).
2) I would like to get healthy. I am currently 84 pounds overweight, and I would like to get to a healthy weight
3) I would like to get the house decluttered, with everything in its place, and everything not beautiful or useful donated or chucked. (We’ve been tidying and decluttering weekly since summer 2008, so have made huge progress on this).
4) I would like to wake at 5 a.m.
Am I biting off more than I can chew? Who knows, but with God’s help, I believe the walls of this Jericho will crumble.
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Synergy
And I hope these goals are synergistic, and will set up a virtuous circle in my life
1 Exercise will help me sleep better, be clear-headed for writing, and feel happy. It will, also, God willing, build up muscles which will boost my metabolism.
I am planning to continue losing weight through Dr. Furhman’s Eat to Live diet as a template (with some deviations), and have already lost 18 pounds on it. It is a nutritarian diet, so, God willing, I will continue to rarely be ill, and to have high levels of energy.
2) Waking early will give me more time to exercise, to tidy the house, and to write, and will give me an increased sense of well-being and shalom.
3) Keeping the house orderly and tidy will increase my shalom and mental wealth. And increase focus for writing.
4) Writing–well that’s in a category in itself! The way it could help my other goals would be through the happiness it gives me. Though Julia Cameron suggests that writing down your words daily helps you lose weight.
So that’s it. That’s the Jericho I am praying around. If you think of me, pray for me, please?
Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
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My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) or UK
Elizabeth Jones says
Hello, Anita.
I just read this post. Boy, can I relate . . .
I have many of the same struggles, with many of the same areas of my life. Thankfully, I have been keeping up with my exercise (three times a week at the YMCA gym!). But my struggles with ministry and my periodic wondering about ordination make me downhearted and glum. And because I’m an emotional eater, I eat. (Sometimes. Sometimes God grants me strength, and I don’t!) On top of everything else, I am struggling with spotty employment. Underemployment. All of which add up to a big, vicious circle.
On the positive side, I’ve been praying and also encouraging others to pray for more years than I can remember. Using some God-inspired initiative, I started a blog at wordpress.com called matterofprayer the last week of October. I joined the Twitter-sphere less than two weeks ago, and am wading into the waters of the social media online world.
Thank you so much for sharing your struggles with your readers. I will certainly pray for you! I will appreciate your prayers for me, when you think of it. That’s usually how I pray, since the devil has found a quick and easy way to get under my skin is to make me really guilty when I forget to pray with a prayer list. (This doesn’t work when I moderate and facilitate said prayer list, however! So I am sending out the weekly prayer list at my UCC church in the Chicago suburbs.) God be with you as you strive to walk more closely with the Holy One.
Grace and peace,
Elizabeth
Anita Mathias says
Elizabeth, thank you. I share my struggles with my readers partly because, oddly, once I name them (several times, sometimes), and have them out in the open, I begin to find ways to resolve the struggles. Partly through prayers of kind readers like yourself, partly because naming them makes me very conscious that there is no need to sabotage my body and health with unhealthy food when I can pray and walk. Like you, I succeed sometimes, and fail sometimes, but the rate of success is growing!!
Ali Harrison says
I’m also right there with you! If only you could read my prayer journal to see the parallels. As I pray my circles I’ll think of you too. Keep us updated! Blessings x
Anita Mathias says
Wow! I will. Keep me updated too, please, Ali!
Kathy says
There are always Jerichos that we need to surround with praise and prayer. The walls will collapse as our focus on the Lord and His Word will bring us victory. I’m with you about targeting our areas of need with the goal of overcoming the impossible (to us). I’ll be praying with you about the small steps to gain victory in this coming year. The verse from Phil. 2:13 comes to mind: “For it is God who operates in you both the willing and the working for His good pleasure.”
May we both have the goal of achieving God’s good pleasure.
Anita Mathias says
Thanks so much, Kathy! Indeed!
Adriana says
Anita, I am with you on this. Our personal Jerichos are pretty much the same. You have my prayer support. Absolutely! I will be watching closely for updates. I can just hear those walls crashing down!!!
Love & Blessings!
Adriana
Anita Mathias says
Thank you, Adriana. It will be interesting to track the collapse of your Jericho too. Let me know now and then 🙂
Adriana says
I will, starting with this: Last night when I read your blog post it was around 4AM here in the States. I was up with my four year old son who had wet the bed. After bathing him and changing his sheets I considered all I needed to accomplish for the rest of the day and decided to stay up and get busy . . .
But after reading your post, I changed my mind. Nothing was really more important at that moment than sleep. Now I feel refreshed and ABLE to handle this day with a smile. 🙂
Anita Mathias says
That’s wonderful, Adriana. And you definitely made the right choice! 🙂