In which I play in the fields of prayer | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

On Public Rewards for Private God-Chasing & on Prayer as the Root of a Life

I’ve been to some good church conferences, among them John Arnott’s International Leaders School of Ministry and Paul Miller’s A Praying Life and The Person of Jesus courses. However, the St Andrew’s church weekend away led by Rupert Charkham of Holy Trinity, Cambridge, was among the most refreshing and interesting among them.

Charkham talked about prayer, and about how prayer, by the strictest divine command, must be secret (Matthew 6:6). When we pray, or live a life of prayer, we are OHMSS, Oh His Majesty’s Secret Service, and none should know it but ourselves.

He went on to say that people–even (or especially!) the committed, bustling, ubiquitous church men and women, upfront, on stage, on every committee, running everything—are tempted to neglect the life of prayer because they feel “no one can tell.”

However, Charkham went on to say, “People can tell. Prayer has a profound effect on your life. And prayerlessness has a profound effect on your life. You can’t hide either of them.”

As 90 % of the bulk of an iceberg is below the water, so 90% of what happens in our lives, and what makes us the men and women we are, and makes our lives turn out the way they have, happens in the realm of prayer. Prayer is like the roots of our lives, hidden, but vital to the health and strength of the visible plant–or life.

That’s why there is a quietness about mature Christians. Their big work is done in prayer.

Like giving, like fasting, Jesus commands us to pray in secret, seen only by God (Matthew 6 1-18). As such, it is an act of pure faith, pure love.

We are promised a reward, though. A public reward—“and your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you openly.” (Matt. 6:6).

A reward from God. Wow, it makes me rub my hands in anticipation. I am happy to take whatever reward God chooses to give me–whether in the earthly realm of health, wealth and success, or the spiritual realm of good relationships, peace, joy, shalom and happiness. Or, God willing, both!!

The things we do in secret will be revealed openly, both the good things–our prayer lives, our giving, our fasting—and our hidden intrigues, manipulations, evil words and gossip. “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.” Luke 12:1-3

* * *

Converting a Gray Plot into Wild Spirals of Colour

By Anita Mathias

When the stream of our lives

Seems to vanish into desert sands,

and we wonder if we’ve lost our way,

When between our talent and output,

Between our aspiration and achievement.

Falls the shadow,

When we have reaped less than we’ve planted

And we wonder if we’ve given our children

Solid skills for this whirling world.

There is still hope. A lever

Which can change everything

And revise the plot

Of what seems like our wasted lives.

* * *

Prayer which can take the story of a life

Which seems hopelessly mired

Unpromising and bleak,

Oh, and just reverse the whole thing!!

Making it burst into colour,

Twists and turns, whirls and spirals

When we call out to the Lord in our despair

He comes,

Scouring our spirits with repentance

Filling them with his Spirit,

New ideas, new vision, new love.

Fresh grace, fresh strength, fresh fire.

* * *

And again and again, when my life

Seemed stymied, and my dreams

Have crashed, and sadness surrounds me,

When I seemed unable to do the simplest things,

Lose some weight

Write some words,

Parent well,

And I cried out to you in my despair,

You came, you came,

Flooding me with your tenderness

Bestowing new ideas, new grace!

* * *

Oh Lord, we see so little of reality:

We see the caterpillar,

Not the iridescent butterfly,

The acorn, not the oak.

But the drab apple seed

Is never the end of the story.

Help me remember, Lord,

That you take five loaves and two fish

And multiply and multiply.

So I give you my hopes,

I give you my dreams,

My weakness, my strength.

Take and receive, Oh Lord,

Breathe on them, transform them,

Bring fruitfulness from these seeds.

Disturb us, O Lord

By Anita Mathias

Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Via Christine Sine

Disturb us, O Lord

when we are too well-pleased with ourselves
when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little,
because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, O Lord

when with the abundance of things we possess,
we have lost our thirst for the water of life
when, having fallen in love with time,
we have ceased to dream of eternity
and in our efforts to build a new earth,
we have allowed our vision of Heaven to grow dim.

Stir us, O Lord

to dare more boldly, to venture into wider seas
where storms show Thy mastery,
where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.

In the name of Him who pushed back the horizons of our hopes
and invited the brave to follow.

Amen

By Bishop Desmond Tutu

Spiritual Gimmes: The Prayer of Bankruptcy

By Anita Mathias

Image: Albrecht Durer’s Praying Hands

Prayer is conversation for all seasons, and in the January season—when the cold and fog and grey have been stealthily trying to sneak into my soul despite my valiant efforts to evict them–my prayer-life becomes a child-like “gimme.”

Oh, pour your love into my heart, for on its own, it’s barren.

Oh, give me love for others, for I have none.

Oh, give me wisdom, for I am quite without it.

Oh, give me grace.

Oh, come into my heart.

Maranatha! Come Lord Jesus!

In Which I Learn to Return to the Quiet Land of Prayer when I am Stressed

By Anita Mathias

In 2003, Hurricane Isabel passed over Williamsburg, Virginia where I lived for 12 years.

Kingsmill, our neighbourhood, was particularly badly hit—we had, well, hurricane force winds buffet us for nearly 12 hours. The lights went out. Trees crashed on the roof, and broke the girls’ newly built tree house and playhouse. The laptops failed; there was nothing to do but watch the storm.

And suddenly, in the little woods behind our house, there was a still point of absolute calm, while around it, trees bent and swayed like ballerinas. “It’s the eye of the hurricane,” Roy said.

* * *

So I have been retreating ever more to the still point at the eye of the hurricane.

At the still point of the turning world.

At the still point, there the dance is. T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets.

* * *

And here is my favourite hiding place when the battle rages—hiding in the shelter of the Most High

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge. Psalm 91

* * *

Have you ever been hooked up to an IV? You lie passive on your hospital bed, while drip, drip, drip, life-giving fluids flow into you.

Increasingly, I retreat to that secret place, the shelter of the Most High, and hide in the shadow of the Almighty, relying on the steady drip-drip-drip of grace and peace and presence of mind to deal with the challenges as they surface.

And when I don’t—then, well, all hell breaks lose.

* * *

“My grace is sufficient for you,” Christ told the Apostle Paul. “For my power is made perfect in weakness.”

How do we avail ourselves of this power? Moment by moment, step by step.

By practice, we learn to pray.

I am learning to lean, to hook up to that immense waterfall of grace and power when I am tired, to learn that his grace, given minute by minute at the point of need, really is sufficient.

I am learning when stressed to return to the still point of prayer, that land which is so quiet.

Can an Individual Change Another Through Prayer Alone?

By Anita Mathias

I have a good friend, who prays constantly.

He married, when very young, a woman who’s “feisty,” in his words, and bossy and critical. (They have 6 children, and not much money, so my sympathies are with her).

Anyway, my friend told me that when he sees something he does not like about his wife, or one of his children, he makes a note of it on the little index cards he uses to pray, and takes it up with God.

For instance, he started praying that his wife would be more gentle with him.

That his son, whose ambition it was to own Microsoft would love God more than money.

That his children would be less mean to each other.
* * *

And most of these things came to pass.

But not without several changes in my friend himself. These included an emotional and nervous breakdown during which he was unable to work and accepted the Kingship of Jesus over himself (the very Lordship he had so wanted his children to acknowledge.)
* * *

Back to my question. Can an individual change another through prayer alone?

Yes, I believe so.

If prayer works, and is for real–and the whole thrust of Scripture tells us that does and is–than prayer can change anything, including the people we love.

It takes a while, it takes faith–and since God has a sense of humour which borders on the perverse–it might often involves changes in the deep structure of our own personalities.
* * *

Prayer is dynamite–explosive in its power–and we are invariably caught in the friendly fire of our prayer for another.

And change, the shedding of our dragon skin–is never without pain.
* * *

When I see a desperate need for change in someone else, which neither my advice, nagging, bullying or manipulation can bring about, I resort to prayer. (As I get wiser, I am glad to report, this is becoming more of a first resort rather than a last resort.) And it does work, invariably, in surprising ways.

Hudson Taylor had this amazing goal and motto, “To Move Man, Through God, by Prayer Alone.” He used this in small things (when his employer forget to pay him) and in large, to raise tens of thousands of pounds for the China Inland Mission.

The hearts of people are in the hands of God, and he sways them how he wills. And an old adage goes, “Prayer is the hand which moves the hand of God.”

(An edited archive post)

In which I Practise Praying Every Ten Minutes: The Ten Minute Worship Revolution

By Anita Mathias

Irene, delighted with and thankful for the sash of her new dress!

I have attended two conferences organized by John Arnott, on whose beat the hugely influential Toronto Revival was born. They have influenced the course of my life—deeply introducing me the love of the Father; immersing me in soaking prayer ; and, most recently, introducing me to a ten minute worship timer.

A worship timer?

Carol Arnott was incurably ill, and went to the Community without Walls in Germany, where Rolland Baker was healed of dementia and cerebral malaria.

There Dr. Arne Elsen suggested the 10 minute worship revolution, using a timer or a buzzer which goes off every ten minutes, when you stop everything and worship. He cures five terminally ill patients, mainly cancer patients a week, through this infusion of positivity, joy, thankfulness, worship and praise.

Well, I was interested. I have seen 3-4 people bedbound with ME, who have been cured by stopping spiralling negative thoughts (I am too ill to do this—talking will tire me—walking will exhaust me etc.) and exchanging them with positive self-talk through the Lightning Process (a highly effective neuro-linguistic programming course, which I haven’t been on. Not religious as far as I know. )

So, this every ten-minute worship really should bring an infusion of the positive thinking which is a neglected aspect of Jesus’ teaching, not to mention joy and praisefulness (both things I have sought) into one’s day to day life.

Zoe and I bought one the day we heard of it. I adore it and have used it every day for the last two weeks.

It’s will probably take 3 weeks to fully get into the habit of it, and for new neural pathways to be created. And I will report on any changes in my temperament and emotional state in about six months.

But the first two weeks (which is about how long it takes to get the hang of it, and to begin reaping the benefits, according to successful users) have been peaceful and happy. I don’t know how I will be able to live without it. If I turn it off for a nap or while having coffee with a friend, and then forget to switch it back, something feels wrong. I am less productive, time seems more lumpy and stolid instead of flowing in a grace-infused stream.

* * *

So here’s my experience. I haven’t been using it exclusively to worship, though, increasingly, that is what I am doing every ten minutes.

1) Thankfullness

I usually stop when my ten minute timer goes, and thank God for something. Often something I may not have otherwise thanked God for. New people following my blog on Facebook or Google Friend Connect. The blog’s growth. The success of my children. The sweetness of Roy. The glory of my dog, and ducks and rabbits (okay, I adore animals!!). Blue skies. The orchids in the room. Time to pray. To read. To study the Bible. To write. Gratitude that earning a living is not all-consuming, but leaves us time to be organised and peaceful and quiet.

And my mental state slowly changes through this discipline of praise every ten minutes. Becomes more positive, more ebullient.

2) My Use of Time Significantly Improves

I have never worked full-time, and have worked part-time for about 3 years, teaching at Ohio State University, Binghamton University, and William and Mary, as a Graduate Teaching Assistant, and Adjunct Professor variously.

So my work habits have really been those of a dreamy, dilatory, distractible writer than a professional.

But, my goodness, this timer really helps. So, I am reading articles in the New York Times or the Guardian. But really should be writing. The buzzer goes; I worship. And, if by the time the buzzer goes again, I am still dilly-dallying, well then, I know something is seriously wrong, and settle down to work.

Yeah, you just can’t procrastinate and waste time that much when you are going to pray every ten minutes!!

It keeps me on track—with what I intend to do, what I have done, what I am going to do that day. Sort of gets me back into the river of surrender and discipline.

3) It keeps me positive. Roy, who is used to, and loves, working for hours with intense concentration was appalled at the thought of being interrupted every ten minutes.

However, once, when I was telling him off (very gently, and most justifiably:-), he burst into a huge grin. “Now you will never be annoyed with me for more than ten minutes at a time,” he said. Yeah, it’s very annoying when you are telling someone off and timer goes off telling you it’s time to worship God, and you have to drop your moaning. And praise God!!

Seriously though, the first few days, my timer often caught me thinking something negative about something or someone, and instead I found something to be thankful for in that person or situation.

The second week, it’s been rarer to be caught out thinking negatively by my timer. It is truly beginning to change the tenor of my emotional life.

4) Impact on Family Life

We have long, leisurely family meals, which last nearly an hour. And the buzzer goes off several times during dinner. And we all go round the table and thank God for one thing we are grateful for.

And of course, consciously expressing gratitude makes you more grateful.

5) Praying in Tongues adds a depth to one’s prayer life, especially in areas in which one may not quite understand why one is stymied, or what or how one should pray. I usually pray in tongues haphazardly, when my heart is full, though I do so most days. Now I have a little slot for it.

6) Prayer to be filled with the Spirit is a prayer which is always answered (Luke 11:13). And to be filled with the Spirit is one of the desires of my heart—both to experience the joy and wisdom of the filling, and to be able to bless people from the overflow of God’s life in me. My timer reminds me to pray for this.

7) Awareness of God’s Presence. Again, using the worship timer helps me to be more aware of the presence of Christ, right here in the room with me, and in his hands a stream of bubbling waters which he offers to anyone who is thirsty and comes to him to drink.

Praying briefly every ten minutes incorporates prayer into the rhythms of my real and emotional life. I find that I am frequently living and working in an ambient state of praise and prayer, coming a tiny step closer to the injunction to pray continuously.

8) Worship is a weaker element of my spiritual life. I need the tides of communal worship to really lift my spirits into self-forgetful worship. I haven’t practised worshiping alone that much. So the worship timer is introducing this neglected dimension into my prayer life.

9) Visualization—Praying every ten minutes is a rich practice. Sometimes, I just relax and visualize. Me dancing with Jesus. Jesus breathing the Holy Spirit on me. (John 20:22). Me dancing in the waterfall of God’s presence and power and creativity.

10) Big Asks—I am using this exercise to be thankful, praiseful and to worship, to just love God and be, rather than for big-wrestling change-my-life kind of prayer. But if I am conscious of a need as my buzzer goes—I am stuck with my writing; worried about a kid, I send up celestial smoke signals, of course. Please help.

Incorporating it into work and exercise—If the buzzer goes off while I am reading or writing, which I often am, I pause, thank, praise, pray, and resume. If it goes off while I am walking and listening to a novel, or an easy theological book, rather than search through all my pockets for my iPhone, pause it, pray, then rewind to get into the flow, I simply multitask, and silently thank God for the book, the glory of the day and the fields around us, while the narrator continues reading me the book.

Yeah, so I am happier, more on track, more peaceful since I started using the ten minute worship timer. I recommend it.

(And here’s the link to Catch the Fire timer I use.)

When Should we Quit Praying? Or, How to Pray for Impossible Things.

By Anita Mathias

Nik Wallenda performs a walk on a tightrope during a training session in a wind-driven mist at Niagara Falls, New York, on Monday.

Image Credit

I’ve know a lovely man who, a few years ago, fell off a ladder, and broke his back, severing his spinal cord. As a result of that tragic minute, he became a paraplegic, wheelchair bound. They have been told the spinal cord damage is irreversible.

This has been near impossible for his loving wife, in particular, to accept. Prayer for healing has consumed their lives. Going to healing prayer centres, getting people through the country to pray. They have found it hard to be in home groups, because most members lacked the faith to continue praying for complete healing, which, is, apparently a medical impossibility.

But faith that he will be healed has shaped their lives. When they remodelled their kitchen, they put counters at the usual level, not handicapped accessible. She galvanized everyone to pray for healing in time for their daughter’s wedding, so he could walk the bride down the aisle, but, alas, that did not happen.

But she remains convinced her husband will be healed.

* * *

I salute her faith.

However, I have long been on prayer ministry teams, but do not pray for things I lack faith to believe will happen. When a much childless older woman asks me to pray for a baby, I think biology and fertility and inexorable facts, and try to get someone with more faith to pray for her.

To my shame, I lack faith to pray for healing when people in wheelchairs ask me to pray that they will walk again, or near-blind people ask me to pray that they will see. Technically, I believe in miracles; practically, if I can’t “see” it happen, I don’t want to toy with their faith, and damage it further. To pray for something I do not have the faith to believe will happen feels almost like mocking God, and so I get help.

Heidi Baker says the blind have seen and the lame have walked when she has prayed for them, and I believe her. These miracles have been attested by eyewitnesses from many nations. But that is her “anointing,” what she has faith to believe will happen, and so what she sees happen, again and again.

My faith, far weaker than hers, is strong in different realms.

* * *

There is a saying in Charismatic circles: You must see it to receive it.

I frowned the first time I heard that; it sounded as if it came from a productivity book. But I now think it’s true.

Secular people would call it “creative visualization.” Perhaps, you must somehow “see” it happening in the spiritual realm to be able to believe it will happen –and then to later see it actually happen in the physical realm. And so I never pray with people for things I cannot “see” happen or believe will happen.

· * * *

Faith, however, does move mountains. My husband’s small group has been consistently praying for Tamsyn, the Manic Mum, who is a friend of the leader. As you can read, her husband Alex suffered a minor brain injury playing rugby in France with friends, which through a series of unfortunate medical mistakes, led to brain swelling, epilepsy, blindness, drastically impaired speech and movement. The French doctors delicately said he would be “a vegetable.” The English doctors delicately suggested she put him in a long-term nursing home, and get on with life.

As Dr. Dean Ornish comments, the speed and even the possibility of recovery from brain injury depends on love, depends on how much time people are willing to invest in helping you rehabilitate.

Tamsyn, a Christian, refused to accept the predictions and has been helping Alex try to speak, move, respond, cross one minuscule milestone after another, as you can read on her blog.

* * *

And the power of faith and prayer should never be under-estimated. A mum in a small group I went to was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme, the most deadly kind of brain tumour, and given two years max to live. Most people die within six months of diagnosis.

She got intensive prayer from our whole church, and is alive, functioning and even travelling, four and a half years later, despite some physical and mental deterioration.

I put this down to the power of prayer.

* * *

So how do we pray for impossible things?

I think the only way we can pray for impossible things with peace are the twin prayers Jesus prayed in Gethsemane. “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

And then, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

Ah, how hard, how inexpressibly hard it is to believe in the good story God is writing in your life when it involves pits and dungeons, as with Joseph; dens and lions as with Daniel. The valleys and depths in which one is prepared for the mountain-tops of glory and spiritual promotion!!

But, hey, ultimately, we are only co-authors of the story of our lives. We need the humility and flexibility to accept it when God appears to be writing a different plot, a different story, than the one we had dreamed of, and hoped for. Accept the plot change, even while we continue to pray for the plot we want.

Oh, this tight-rope walk of faith!! We only get through it without broken hearts because He, whom we love and trust, is our balancing wire as we cross the Niagara Falls of our lives with faith and hope. And a smile!

anita.mathias