Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

Exponential: God’s Way

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I read, years ago, in a book on gardening about  planting a herby lawn, a lawn with herbs interplanted with grass, so that as you walk they release their sweet fragrance. We did not succeed in establishing herbs in our lawn in Virginia, as our gardening skills were unequal to their scorching summers and freezing winters.

However, in England’s mild climate, even though we have been careless and distracted gardeners, it has worked. The lemon balm and apple mint we planted in beds (yes, silly us,) has spread all over the lawn. I can’t wait to mow the grass now, to smell apple mint and the astringent-sweet lemon.

Mint all over the lawn. From what? Wispy, unpromising cuttings sowed 6 years ago!

That is God’s normal–the law of increase. Small good deeds yielding a mighty harvest. 

Multiplication–the exponential power of multiplication–is God’s normal way of doing things, 5000 fed from 5 loaves, seeds scattered bringing forth quite out of proportion to their tiny selves.

Bless and establish the work of our hands, O Lord!


Some of the loveliest visions of Julianna of Norwich

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‘God, for your goodness, give me yourself. For you are enough for me and I may not ask anything that is less, that may be fully worthy of you. And if I ask any thing that is less, I am always wanting. But only in you I have all.’
· · ·
It is God’s will that we have three things in our seeking of his gift. The first is, that we seek willingly and busily without sloth, as it may be with his grace gladly and merrily, without unskilfull heaviness and vain sorrow. The second, that we abide with him steadfastly for his love, without complaining and striving against him to our lives’ end, for it shall last only a while. The third is that we trust in him mightily with a fully sure faith, for it is his will that we shall know that he will appear suddenly and blessedfully to all his lovers, for his working is secret, and it will be perceived, and his appearing shall be swift and sudden, and he will be believed, for he is very able, humble and courteous, blessed must he be.
      After this,  I saw God in a point. That is to say in my understanding. But which sight I saw that he is all things. I beheld with advisement, seeing and knowing in that sight, that he does all that is done, be it never so little. And I saw that nothing is done by chance, nor by hazard, but all by the foreseeing of God’s wisdom.
And if it be chance or fortune in the sight of man, our blindness and our lack of foresight is the cause. Therefore, well I know that in sight of our lord God, there is not chance or happenstance. And therefore it needs behoove me to grant that all things that are done, are well done, because our Lord God does all. For in this time, the working of Creation was not showed but of our lord God, in Creation, for he is in the midpoint of all things, and he does all.
 ‘See, I am God. See, I am in all things. See, I do all things. See, I never left off the works of my hand, nor ever shall, without end. See, I lead all things to the end, to which I ordained them, from without beginning, by the same power, wisdom and love, that I made them with. How should then anything be amiss?’
                                                            · · ·
And this was shown in these words, ‘Are you well paid’ . By those other words that Christ said, ‘If you are paid, I am paid’. As if he had said, ‘It is joy and liking enough to me, and I ask nothing else of you for my travail, but that I might pay you’ . And it is this he brought to my mind. The property of a glad giver: a glad giver takes but little heed of the thing that he gives, but his desire is in all his intent, to please him and solace him to whom he gives it. And if the receiver takes the gift gladly and thankfully, then the courteous giver sets at nought all his cost and all his travail for joy and delight that he has, for he has so pleased and solaced him whom he loves. Plenteously and fully was this shown.
· · ·
Also our Lord showed for prayer, in which showing I saw two conditions in our Lord’s meaning. One is right full prayer. And the other is sure trust. But yet often our trust is not full, for we are not sure that God hears us, we think, because of our unworthiness, and because of that we feel nothing. For we are as barren and as dry often after our prayer, as we were before. And thus in our feeling, our folly is the cause of our weakness. For thus I have felt in myself.
      And all this brought our Lord suddenly to my mind and showed these words and said ,’I am ground of your seeking. First it is my will that you have it, and I make you to will it. How should it then be that you should not have your seeking of it, since I make you to seek it, and you seek it’ . 
       And furthermore he wills that we know that this dear worthy soul was preciously knit to him in the making. Which knot is so subtle and so mighty, that it is oned to God, in which oneing it is made endlessly holy. Furthermore, he wills that we know and understand, that all the souls that shall be saved in heaven without end are knitted in this knot, and oned in this oneing, and made holy in this holiness. And for great endless love that God has to all mankind, he makes no departing in love between the blessed soul of Christ and the least soul that shall be saved.
Highly ought we to enjoy that our God dwells in our soul, and much more highly we ought to enjoy that our soul dwells in God. A high understanding it is inwardly to see and to know that God which is our maker, dwells in our soul. And a higher understanding it is and more inwardly to see and to know our soul that is made dwells in God in substance.

The Christianization of Irene

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Irene, as a four year old, praying impromptu in Switzerland, thanking God for the Rhine Falls.
So Irene, 12, walks into Zoe’s room, asking for help with homework. Zoe, 17, doing her AS’s says, “No, go away.”
Then Irene realizes Zoe is sucking one of the three treasured candy canes she had squirreled away from Christmas.
“How did you get that?” she asked.
“I took it from your room when you weren’t there,” Zoe said.
“Oh. Would you like another?” Irene asked
“Yes,” Zoe said.
Irene meekly and sadly handed another one over.
* * *
We listened in amazement.
“Irene! What’s up?”
“Well, they taught us in children’s church this Sunday that if someone is bad to you, you should turn the other cheek.”
Awww.
And all three older Mathiases crowed in unision, “Irene is becoming a Christian!!”
(She’s the freest spirit, and freest thinker in our family!)
* * *
And blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. A very wise person once said that. So I am not sad for Irene.

Through Corridors of Light Where the Hours are Suns, Endless and Singing

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Shafts of light
Image Credit
Lord, you look at me with utter seriousness.
Your eyes are sober and direct.
They pierce to the depths of my soul.
You search me, and you know me.
What are you saying, Jesus?
* * *
The one thing I do know
 is that there is no bullshitting you.
And as you look at me, I see
Some of what you see.
And I will rectify this…
But help.
For I cannot save myself.
I need your hyssop, your precious blood
To wash me white as snow.
Oh, the paradox!
* * *
Your eyes are serious and calm
Because you see the end from the beginning.
When my faith was a slow germinating seed
When the seedling of my faith was tossed by winds,
Almost blighted by drought,
Trampled by a dog,
Watered with salty tears,
Fertilized with blood and sweat,
Over-fertilized in fits of enthusiasm,
Blighted by big freezes and the great sadness,
When it looked as if it wouldn’t make it,
You saw the tree I would become
And so you were not perturbed.
You looked at me and smiled
Because you beheld the end from the beginning
And you looked at me from eternity
“through corridors of light
where the hours are suns, endless and singing.”
You saw the end from the beginning
and so you say with utter certainty,
all shall be well, all shall be well
all manner of things shall be well.

A tale of four famous Christian siblings: When Christian children shipwreck, there’s still hope

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A tale of four famous Christian siblings.
A) His ex-wife “alleged that her husband not only abused drugs and alcohol and had inappropriate relations with other women, but also that he engaged in domestic violence and used pornography. 
In the meantime, he admitted becoming ever more dependent on alcohol. He was granted “board-approved time away” to deal with his alcohol dependency.  
On his return, tensions in his marriage and at the offices of the ministry he headed escalated when he began spending extended time with a young woman who had recently joined. He also had an ongoing intensive friendship with another female staff member.
Source: Christianity Today
B) The third of the five siblings has dealt with a daughter’s teen pregnancies, another daughter’s bulimia and a son’s drug use.
She struggled with suicidal thoughts herself in the wake of her first husband’s infidelity — a discovery that led to a “rebound marriage” of only five weeks.
Source  Columbus Dispatch
C) Both of C’s brothers rebelled, using drugs and alcohol.
And one of C’s sons grew so uncontrollable as a teen that his parents called the police to their home. He ran away at 16, spending several days and nights on the streets of Fort Lauderdale.
 C. has suffered bouts with depression.
After her divorce and remarriage, she was arrested for domestic abuse of her new husband
Source: Houston Chronicle, USA Today
D. In the news for taking “two full-time salaries and two retirement packages from two Christian family ministries. Last year his total compensation from the two Christian ministries was $1.2 million.”
All these individuals make their living through donor contributions to Christian ministries they run.
* * *
Okay, who are we taking about? A “white trash” family (to use a mean phrase I occasionally heard when I lived in America)? A ethnic minority family on welfare for generations? A feckless illegal immigrant family?
Actually, these are the children of one of the most respected men and Christians on the earth. Billy Graham.
A)   Ned. Christianity Today B) Ruth or Bunny Columbus Dispatch C) Virginia or Gigi , Houston Chronicle. USA Today D) Franklin—Thinking out Loud
·      * * *
As a young Christian, I read biographies of Billy Graham, and his books, including his autobiography, Just as I am. I admired and admire him. I tried to imitate Graham’s spiritual disciplines (unsuccessfully). I was charmed and impressed by Ruth, as she came across in her books. She was indeed an beautiful and remarkable woman.
I read out these news articles of Roy as I googled them and we were chilled.
How did their children shipwreck?
And, if they did, what hope is there for us unprofessional Christian parents, who know our Scripture less well, who do not have the additional safeguard of practising our faith on a world stage to keep us honest?
If that’s the parenting outcome of the undoubtedly godly Grahams, down to the third generation, who can stand?
However, Billy Graham is on record as saying that if he could go back and do anything differently he would “spend more time at home with my family, and I’d study more and preach less.”
   * * *
I think of one of my favourite Psalms, Ps. 130
1 Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;
 2 Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

 3 If you, LORD, kept a record of sins, 

   Lord, who could stand? 
4 But with you there is mercy, 

so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

Ah, that’s our hope for ourselves, our parenting, and our children. The mercy of God.

Hesed, the steadfast goodness, mercy and compassion of God which will follow us all our lives.
  * * *
And for each prominent Christian family which shipwrecks–and I can think of several off-hand–there are another 2 or 5 who do not.
I think of my friend Paul who was the son of Jack and Rosemarie Miller who founded World Harvest Mission. All five siblings are faithful Christians. As are Paul’s six children. In A Praying Life, he describes how he brought up his children– (one of whom was severely disabled) amid financial difficulties, great work stresses, working two jobs, and his own breakdown–by quietly, steadily, and specifically praying for each of them and their specific needs—and what amazing answers he saw!
He once told me that he asked his wife Jill what she wanted most, half afraid she would say, “A new kitchen.” And she said, “The mercy of God for our family.”
Ah that is what we all need!
    * * *
So, there is hope for us and our children, in the mercy of God. And, as I feel more convinced, the best thing we can do our children and family is pray for them. At red lights. When walking. During sleepless nights. While doing housework. In lines at grocery stores. Whenever. As much as we can.
And then trust the mercy of God.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my spirit.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my family.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my children.

Make it New: By being Rigorously Honest in our Writing, we Find Originality.

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 Sometimes, when I am tired and grumpy and find myself scanning my Twitter feed or the blogs I follow, I find myself saying, “Platitude, platitude, platitude. YES!” Yes, I say, when someone expresses an old truth in a fresh way, so that it strikes me afresh. Or shares a new insight on an old truth.What are platitudes? At best, using someone else’s words and language to describe your own experience. At worst, using someone else’s words to describe experiences, which you have not yet experienced.

* * *

 Matt Redman says, “Every authentic response in worship comes from revelation. When you become a Christian, you commit your life to God. And then from that moment on, everything you see of God, everything that is revealed to you, everything you find in His Word, everything you realize when you gather with the believers, every time you take a walk under a night sky and gaze up at the stars above is revelation. It’s like fuel for the fire of worship.”  

In this amazing diverse world, no two zebras have the same stripes, no two roses, or snowflakes, or fingerprints, or the iris of eyes have the same pattern.  Each African penguin has a unique spot pattern on its chest, which zoo-keepers—and other penguins—soon get to recognise.

So too, God shares different revelations, different aspects of his personality, to each of his beloved. God is always speaking, A. W. Tozer says. His voice rises above the din and clatter of the world around us. 

Just as we instinctively adjust our description of an idea or experience to our audience, the Spirit who created vast diversity  reminds us of ancient truths in unique words and images, differing in emphasis, colour and music, geared towards each of our Myers-Briggs personality, IQ, culture and life-experience, our spiritual age, if you like, and our capacity to be changed by our insights.

And the fresh insights the Spirit gives us, the new wine he pours, needs new words, a fresh expression. New wineskins for New Wine.

* * *

Make it New was Ezra Pound’s slogan, adopted by the Modernist movement.

To write in the fewest possible words, as clearly as possible, exactly what one meant—that was his only lesson in the art of writing, Virginia Woolf wrote of her father, brilliant literary scholar Lesley Stephen, who home-educated her.

We do not need to strain after newness. By being brave and honest and telling the truth the way we see it, we will be fresh. And by trying to say as clearly as possible, exactly what we mean, in our own words, not anyone else’s, we will be unique.

And so no two Christian writers or bloggers writing about prayer, or hearing God’s voice, or loving one another should say the same thing in the same way, because, you see, our experience will be slightly different. No two people will have an identical spiritual experience; different things will strike each of us with gale force.

 Last season’s fruit is eaten

 And the fulfilled beast shall kick the empty pail. 

  For last year’s words belong to last year’s language

   And next year’s words await another voice

 To purify the dialect of the tribe (T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding)

* * *

 When I expressed my dream of a Blog through the Bible project last year, my daughter Zoe said dubiously, “Do you know Mike Pilavachi is doing that too? Nicky Gumbel is doing that too?”

At first you feel “Why bother”? Nicky Gumbel is cleverer, theologically trained, experienced. Why read me if you can read him?

But God gives each of us unique circles of influence, unique tribes. And our life-experience, personalities, and ways of expressing ourselves speak to our own tribe, in a way someone else’s might not.

And so we continue “writing down the revelation and make it plain that he may run who reads it,” (Hab 2:20), continue recording what we hear the Spirit say, even while John, Mark, Luke Matthew, James, Peter, Paul, Nicky and Mike are doing it too, and doing it better.

* * *

Fortunately, the eight authors of the New Testament were not deterred by the fact that Paul and Luke were clearly better educated and more intelligent and better writers than Peter or Matthew or James or Mark, because all eight of them contribute richly to our New Testament, and we each have a favourite book, and those who have no time for Paul have a lot of time for John or Luke.  And vice-versa.

 

Take a handful. Yes, really! (Guest Post by Jo Royal)

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Image Credit
She offered the tin of Celebrations to my son.  Chocolates!  He shuffled to the edge of his seat, and peered into the open tin.  His eyes widened as he examined the full tin of brightly coloured favourites.  

His hand hovered over the chocolates.  He paused, looked up, wordlessly asking, ‘How many am I allowed to take?’  With astute perception, she answered ‘Take a handful.’  And that is what he did!  A rather huge handful!  

When my embarrassment subsided, I considered my son’s literal interpretation of ‘take a handful‘.  To him this provided an opportunity to scoop up as many chocolates into his hand as he could physically manage.  Why wouldn’t he?  He loves chocolate!  It makes sense.  

Would we have done the same?  I am not so sure.  To most adults (myself included) the same phrase usually triggers a different response.  ‘Take a handful‘ – becomes interpreted as ‘take a few because you don’t want to look greedy.’  The consequence of this interpretation results in the adult taking their hands out of the offered tin with only one or two chocolates.  How polite!

So, whilst children get to enjoy their acquired feast, adults are left with a tantalising taste of chocolate in their mouth.  Politeness aside – why do we do this?  If we are offered a handful of chocolates, why do we not take it literally and grab as many as we like?  After all, the offer is there and we love chocolate!

* * *

As I reflected on this response, it dawned on me that the inclination to settle for less does not stop with chocolates.  It may have an impact on an untold number of experiences in our lives.  Take a handful, go for it, follow your dreams …


But we don’t.

We tell ourselves that we are not good enough.

We believe that we do not deserve it.

We assume that the offer is not really meant for us.

Nonsense!  Why do we think this way?

These incorrect understandings are often deeply embedded in our lives, resulting in mediocrity being accepted as norm.  Our ability to learn, to enjoy life, to love and be loved, is hindered as the ‘take only a few’ reaction kicks in.  We stifle our experiences and our ability to fully participate in life, and say that this is ok.

However, Jesus came to give us ‘life to the full’ (John 10:10).  Not a life living in the shadows or accepting second best.

This fullness of life includes being offered total forgiveness of sins, unconditional love and full acceptance into God’s family.  And yet, our immediate response can result in us being unable to fully accept this.   

Let’s find out and understand what God is offering, and reach in and grab all we can.  Jesus died in order to make this possible for us.  God will not be offended or think we are greedy if we ‘take a handful‘ – because when he offers it to us he really means it.  He loves us and wants us to experience all he has for us – so we can live our life to the full with him. 

Ready to grab a handful? 🙂

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Jo Royal is the Assistant Pastor at Wessex Christian Fellowship in Basingstoke, Hampshire. She blogs at All in Day.
Thanks, Jo:-)