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A tale of four famous Christian siblings: When Christian children shipwreck, there’s still hope

By Anita Mathias

A tale of four famous Christian siblings.
A) His ex-wife “alleged that her husband not only abused drugs and alcohol and had inappropriate relations with other women, but also that he engaged in domestic violence and used pornography. 
In the meantime, he admitted becoming ever more dependent on alcohol. He was granted “board-approved time away” to deal with his alcohol dependency.  
On his return, tensions in his marriage and at the offices of the ministry he headed escalated when he began spending extended time with a young woman who had recently joined. He also had an ongoing intensive friendship with another female staff member.
Source: Christianity Today
B) The third of the five siblings has dealt with a daughter’s teen pregnancies, another daughter’s bulimia and a son’s drug use.
She struggled with suicidal thoughts herself in the wake of her first husband’s infidelity — a discovery that led to a “rebound marriage” of only five weeks.
Source  Columbus Dispatch
C) Both of C’s brothers rebelled, using drugs and alcohol.
And one of C’s sons grew so uncontrollable as a teen that his parents called the police to their home. He ran away at 16, spending several days and nights on the streets of Fort Lauderdale.
 C. has suffered bouts with depression.
After her divorce and remarriage, she was arrested for domestic abuse of her new husband
Source: Houston Chronicle, USA Today
D. In the news for taking “two full-time salaries and two retirement packages from two Christian family ministries. Last year his total compensation from the two Christian ministries was $1.2 million.”
All these individuals make their living through donor contributions to Christian ministries they run.
* * *
Okay, who are we taking about? A “white trash” family (to use a mean phrase I occasionally heard when I lived in America)? A ethnic minority family on welfare for generations? A feckless illegal immigrant family?
Actually, these are the children of one of the most respected men and Christians on the earth. Billy Graham.
A)   Ned. Christianity Today B) Ruth or Bunny Columbus Dispatch C) Virginia or Gigi , Houston Chronicle. USA Today D) Franklin—Thinking out Loud
·      * * *
As a young Christian, I read biographies of Billy Graham, and his books, including his autobiography, Just as I am. I admired and admire him. I tried to imitate Graham’s spiritual disciplines (unsuccessfully). I was charmed and impressed by Ruth, as she came across in her books. She was indeed an beautiful and remarkable woman.
I read out these news articles of Roy as I googled them and we were chilled.
How did their children shipwreck?
And, if they did, what hope is there for us unprofessional Christian parents, who know our Scripture less well, who do not have the additional safeguard of practising our faith on a world stage to keep us honest?
If that’s the parenting outcome of the undoubtedly godly Grahams, down to the third generation, who can stand?
However, Billy Graham is on record as saying that if he could go back and do anything differently he would “spend more time at home with my family, and I’d study more and preach less.”
   * * *
I think of one of my favourite Psalms, Ps. 130
1 Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;
 2 Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

 3 If you, LORD, kept a record of sins, 

   Lord, who could stand? 
4 But with you there is mercy, 

so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

Ah, that’s our hope for ourselves, our parenting, and our children. The mercy of God.

Hesed, the steadfast goodness, mercy and compassion of God which will follow us all our lives.
  * * *
And for each prominent Christian family which shipwrecks–and I can think of several off-hand–there are another 2 or 5 who do not.
I think of my friend Paul who was the son of Jack and Rosemarie Miller who founded World Harvest Mission. All five siblings are faithful Christians. As are Paul’s six children. In A Praying Life, he describes how he brought up his children– (one of whom was severely disabled) amid financial difficulties, great work stresses, working two jobs, and his own breakdown–by quietly, steadily, and specifically praying for each of them and their specific needs—and what amazing answers he saw!
He once told me that he asked his wife Jill what she wanted most, half afraid she would say, “A new kitchen.” And she said, “The mercy of God for our family.”
Ah that is what we all need!
    * * *
So, there is hope for us and our children, in the mercy of God. And, as I feel more convinced, the best thing we can do our children and family is pray for them. At red lights. When walking. During sleepless nights. While doing housework. In lines at grocery stores. Whenever. As much as we can.
And then trust the mercy of God.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my spirit.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my family.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my children.

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Filed Under: In which I'm amazed by the goodness of God Tagged With: Billy Graham, Franklin Graham, Hesed, Mercy, the goodness of God

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Comments

  1. Anita says

    February 15, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    Thanks UK Viewer and Leah. I guess we all just have to rely on God's grace. If such luminaries had so many child-rearing failures–what chance do we have, except in prayer, and relying on the grace of God. And I guess trying to follow him the best we can!!

  2. Leah Atha says

    February 3, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    On a similar note, I read excerpts from two books by Frank Schaeffer, son of Francis & Edith, who were often in the public eye. I've heard it said that children have a “built in hypocrisy meter” and it seems that what he viewed as hypocritical about his parents, stuck with him.

    In this post and the excerpts, I was reminded of the importance of Christian character in my life and not just “spiritual knowledge that puffs up”. To clarify, I'm not condemning Graham or Shaeffer for being “puffed up”. 🙂

  3. UKViewer says

    January 31, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Anita,

    This seems to be a story that you read about Celebrity families, rather than the children of a Christian Pastor.

    But rebellion happens in most teen's, for a short period, but they eventually get over it and turn out as reasonable adults.

    From my own experience, despite a broken family, I made choices as a teen that I would take a path that avoided the things you describe here. I signed up to the Army at 17 and stayed for 43 years. As a young man, it provided a safe and disciplined environment, where you could learn and grow and achieve. Sure we had some failures, but for the most part, people from the worst background could turn their life around and make a fresh start.

    While I'm not saying that all should join the Army, it seems to me that families need to have some sort of framework that provides loving, nurture and development mixed with a light touch of discipline, which guides but doesn't oblige through fear or force.

    Above all, praying together as a family, attending worship together, socialising together and playing together to build bonds of love and trust between the whole family.

    If there is love and God in a marriage, his grace will be there alongside. If it's absent, what chance do the children have – little I suggest.

  4. Anita says

    January 31, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Thanks, Edward. My husband also suggested that I add that quote, but I didn't want to get into second-guessing that Christian giant. Have now done so, using your link. I think it's helpful advice for parents in the trenches as we are.
    Thanks!

  5. Edward Green says

    January 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    'Graham also said that if he could go back and do anything differently he would “spend more time at home with my family, and I'd study more and preach less.”'

    http://www.politicsdaily.com/2011/01/24/billy-grahams-regret-i-would-have-steered-clear-of-politics/

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LINK IN BIO!
Jesus knows the best way to do what you are best at!!
Simon Peter was a professional fisherman. And Jesus keeps teaching him, again and again, that he, Jesus, has greater mastery over fishing. And over everything else. After fruitless nights of fishing, Jesus tells Peter where to cast his nets, for an astounding catch. Jesus walks on water, calms sea storms.
It’s easy to pray in desperation when we feel hard-pressed and incompetent, and, often,
Christ rescues us in our distress, adds a 1 before our zeroes.
However, it’s equally important to turn over our strengths to him, so he can add zeroes after our 1. And the more we can surrender our strengths to his management, the more he works in those areas, and blesses them.
A walk around beautiful Magdalen College, Oxford, A walk around beautiful Magdalen College, Oxford, with a camera.
And, if you missed it, my latest podcast meditation, on Jesus’s advice on refocusing energy away from judging and critiquing others into self-transformation. https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/11/on-using-anger-as-a-trigger-to-transform-ourselves/
https://anitamathias.com/.../on-using-anger-as-a-t https://anitamathias.com/.../on-using-anger-as-a-trigger.../ link in bio
Hi friends, Here's my latest podcast meditation. I'm meditating through the Gospel of Matthew.
Do not judge, Jesus says, and you too will escape harsh judgement. So once again, he reiterates a law of human life and of the natural world—sowing and reaping. 
Being an immensely practical human, Jesus realises that we are often most “triggered” when we observe our own faults in other people. And the more we dwell on the horrid traits of people we know in real life, politicians, or the media or internet-famous, the more we risk mirroring their unattractive traits. 
So, Jesus suggests that, whenever we are intensely annoyed by other people to immediately check if we have the very same fault. And to resolve to change that irritating trait in ourselves. 
Then, instead of wasting time in fruitless judging, we will experience personal change.
And as for us who have been judgey, we still live “under the mercy” in Charles Williams’ phrase. We must place the seeds we have sown into the garden of our lives so far into God’s hands and ask him to let the thistles and thorns wither and the figs and grapes bloom. May it be so!
Spring in England= Joy=Bluebells=Singing birds. I Spring in England= Joy=Bluebells=Singing birds. I love it.
Here are some images of Shotover Park, close to C. S. Lewis's house, and which inspired bits of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings. Today, however, it's covered in bluebells, and loud with singing birds.
And, friends, I've been recording weekly podcast meditations on the Gospel of Matthew. It's been fun, and challenging to settle down and think deeply, and I hope you'll enjoy them.
I'm now in the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus details all the things we are not to worry about at all, one of which is food--too little, or too much, too low in calories, or too high. We are, instead, to do everything we do in his way (seek first the Kingdom and its righteousness, and all this will fall into place!).
Have a listen: https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/ and link in bio
“See how the flowers of the field grow. They do “See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labour or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. Or a king on his coronation day.
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” 
Of course, today, we are more likely to worry that sugary ultra-processed foods everywhere will lead to weight gain and compromise our health. But Jesus says, “Don’t worry,” and in the same sermon (on the mount), suggests other strategies…like fasting, which brings a blessing from God, for instance, while burning stored fat. And seeking God’s kingdom, as Jesus recommends, could involve getting fit on long solitary prayer walks, or while walking with friends, as well as while keeping up with a spare essentialist house, and a gloriously over-crowded garden. Wild birds eat intuitively and never gain weight; perhaps, the Spirit, on request, will guide us to the right foods for our metabolisms. 
I’ve recorded a meditation on these themes (with a transcript!). https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-a https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
Jesus advised his listeners--struggling fishermen, people living on the edge, without enough food for guests, not to worry about what they were going to eat. Which, of course, is still shiningly relevant today for many. 
However, today, with immense societal pressure to be slender, along with an obesogenic food environment, sugary and carby food everywhere, at every social occasion, Jesus’s counsel about not worrying about what we will eat takes on an additional relevance. Eat what is set about you, he advised his disciples, as they went out to preach the Gospel. In this age of diet culture and weight obsession, Jesus still shows us how to live lightly, offering strategies like fasting (which he promises brings us a reward from God). 
What would Jesus’s way of getting fitter and healthier be? Fasting? Intuitive spirit-guided eating? Obeying the great commandment to love God by praying as we walk? Listening to Scripture or excellent Christian literature as we walk, thanks to nifty headphones. And what about the second commandment, like the first—to love our neighbour as ourselves? Could we get fitter running an essentialist household? Keeping up with the garden? Walking with friends? Exercising to be fit enough to do what God has called us to do?
This meditation explores these concerns. #dietculture #jesus #sermononthemount #meditation #excercise #thegreatcommandment #dontworry 
https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
Kefalonia—it was a magical island. Goats and she Kefalonia—it was a magical island. Goats and sheep with their musical bells; a general ambience of relaxation; perfect, pristine, beaches; deserted mountains to hike; miles of aimless wandering in landscapes of spring flowers. I loved it!
And, while I work on a new meditation, perhaps have a listen to this one… which I am meditating on because I need to learn it better… Jesus’s tips on how to be blessed by God, and become happy!! https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the-merciful-for-they-shall-be-shown-mercy/ #kefalonia #family #meditation #goats
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I hadn’t realised that I needed a break, but having got there, I sighed deeply… and relaxed. A beautiful island.
And now… we’re back, rested. It’s always good to sink into the words of Jesus, and I just have. Here’s a meditation on Jesus’s famous Beatitudes, his statements on who is really happy or blessed, which turns our value judgements on their heads. I’d love it if you listened or read it. Thanks, friends.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the-merciful-for-they-shall-be-shown-mercy/
#kefalonia #beatitudes #meditation #family #sun #fun
https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the- https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the-merciful-for-they-shall-be-shown-mercy/
Meditating on a “beatitude.”… Happy, makarios, or blessed are the merciful, Jesus says, articulating the laws of sowing and reaping which underlie the universe, and human life.
Those who dish out mercy, and go through life gently and kindly, have a happier, less stressful experience of life, though they are not immune from the perils of our broken planet, human greed polluting our environment and our very cells, deceiving and swindling us. The merciless and unkind, however, sooner or later, find the darkness and trouble they dish out, haunting them in turn.
Sowing and reaping, is, of course, a terrifying message for us who have not always been kind and merciful!
But the Gospel!... the tender Fatherhood of God, the fact that the Lord Christ offered to bear the sentence, the punishment for the sins of the world-proportionate because of his sinlessness.  And in that divine exchange, streams of mercy now flow to us, slowly changing the deep structure of our hearts, minds, and characters.
And so, we can go through life gently and mercifully, relying on Jesus and his Holy Spirit to begin and complete the work of transformation in us, as we increasingly become gentle, radiant children of God.
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