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A tale of four famous Christian siblings: When Christian children shipwreck, there’s still hope

By Anita Mathias

A tale of four famous Christian siblings.
A) His ex-wife “alleged that her husband not only abused drugs and alcohol and had inappropriate relations with other women, but also that he engaged in domestic violence and used pornography. 
In the meantime, he admitted becoming ever more dependent on alcohol. He was granted “board-approved time away” to deal with his alcohol dependency.  
On his return, tensions in his marriage and at the offices of the ministry he headed escalated when he began spending extended time with a young woman who had recently joined. He also had an ongoing intensive friendship with another female staff member.
Source: Christianity Today
B) The third of the five siblings has dealt with a daughter’s teen pregnancies, another daughter’s bulimia and a son’s drug use.
She struggled with suicidal thoughts herself in the wake of her first husband’s infidelity — a discovery that led to a “rebound marriage” of only five weeks.
Source  Columbus Dispatch
C) Both of C’s brothers rebelled, using drugs and alcohol.
And one of C’s sons grew so uncontrollable as a teen that his parents called the police to their home. He ran away at 16, spending several days and nights on the streets of Fort Lauderdale.
 C. has suffered bouts with depression.
After her divorce and remarriage, she was arrested for domestic abuse of her new husband
Source: Houston Chronicle, USA Today
D. In the news for taking “two full-time salaries and two retirement packages from two Christian family ministries. Last year his total compensation from the two Christian ministries was $1.2 million.”
All these individuals make their living through donor contributions to Christian ministries they run.
* * *
Okay, who are we taking about? A “white trash” family (to use a mean phrase I occasionally heard when I lived in America)? A ethnic minority family on welfare for generations? A feckless illegal immigrant family?
Actually, these are the children of one of the most respected men and Christians on the earth. Billy Graham.
A)   Ned. Christianity Today B) Ruth or Bunny Columbus Dispatch C) Virginia or Gigi , Houston Chronicle. USA Today D) Franklin—Thinking out Loud
·      * * *
As a young Christian, I read biographies of Billy Graham, and his books, including his autobiography, Just as I am. I admired and admire him. I tried to imitate Graham’s spiritual disciplines (unsuccessfully). I was charmed and impressed by Ruth, as she came across in her books. She was indeed an beautiful and remarkable woman.
I read out these news articles of Roy as I googled them and we were chilled.
How did their children shipwreck?
And, if they did, what hope is there for us unprofessional Christian parents, who know our Scripture less well, who do not have the additional safeguard of practising our faith on a world stage to keep us honest?
If that’s the parenting outcome of the undoubtedly godly Grahams, down to the third generation, who can stand?
However, Billy Graham is on record as saying that if he could go back and do anything differently he would “spend more time at home with my family, and I’d study more and preach less.”
   * * *
I think of one of my favourite Psalms, Ps. 130
1 Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;
 2 Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

 3 If you, LORD, kept a record of sins, 

   Lord, who could stand? 
4 But with you there is mercy, 

so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

Ah, that’s our hope for ourselves, our parenting, and our children. The mercy of God.

Hesed, the steadfast goodness, mercy and compassion of God which will follow us all our lives.
  * * *
And for each prominent Christian family which shipwrecks–and I can think of several off-hand–there are another 2 or 5 who do not.
I think of my friend Paul who was the son of Jack and Rosemarie Miller who founded World Harvest Mission. All five siblings are faithful Christians. As are Paul’s six children. In A Praying Life, he describes how he brought up his children– (one of whom was severely disabled) amid financial difficulties, great work stresses, working two jobs, and his own breakdown–by quietly, steadily, and specifically praying for each of them and their specific needs—and what amazing answers he saw!
He once told me that he asked his wife Jill what she wanted most, half afraid she would say, “A new kitchen.” And she said, “The mercy of God for our family.”
Ah that is what we all need!
    * * *
So, there is hope for us and our children, in the mercy of God. And, as I feel more convinced, the best thing we can do our children and family is pray for them. At red lights. When walking. During sleepless nights. While doing housework. In lines at grocery stores. Whenever. As much as we can.
And then trust the mercy of God.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my spirit.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my family.
Into your hands, oh Lord, I commit my children.

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Filed Under: In which I'm amazed by the goodness of God Tagged With: Billy Graham, Franklin Graham, Hesed, Mercy, the goodness of God

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Comments

  1. Anita says

    February 15, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    Thanks UK Viewer and Leah. I guess we all just have to rely on God's grace. If such luminaries had so many child-rearing failures–what chance do we have, except in prayer, and relying on the grace of God. And I guess trying to follow him the best we can!!

  2. Leah Atha says

    February 3, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    On a similar note, I read excerpts from two books by Frank Schaeffer, son of Francis & Edith, who were often in the public eye. I've heard it said that children have a “built in hypocrisy meter” and it seems that what he viewed as hypocritical about his parents, stuck with him.

    In this post and the excerpts, I was reminded of the importance of Christian character in my life and not just “spiritual knowledge that puffs up”. To clarify, I'm not condemning Graham or Shaeffer for being “puffed up”. 🙂

  3. UKViewer says

    January 31, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Anita,

    This seems to be a story that you read about Celebrity families, rather than the children of a Christian Pastor.

    But rebellion happens in most teen's, for a short period, but they eventually get over it and turn out as reasonable adults.

    From my own experience, despite a broken family, I made choices as a teen that I would take a path that avoided the things you describe here. I signed up to the Army at 17 and stayed for 43 years. As a young man, it provided a safe and disciplined environment, where you could learn and grow and achieve. Sure we had some failures, but for the most part, people from the worst background could turn their life around and make a fresh start.

    While I'm not saying that all should join the Army, it seems to me that families need to have some sort of framework that provides loving, nurture and development mixed with a light touch of discipline, which guides but doesn't oblige through fear or force.

    Above all, praying together as a family, attending worship together, socialising together and playing together to build bonds of love and trust between the whole family.

    If there is love and God in a marriage, his grace will be there alongside. If it's absent, what chance do the children have – little I suggest.

  4. Anita says

    January 31, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Thanks, Edward. My husband also suggested that I add that quote, but I didn't want to get into second-guessing that Christian giant. Have now done so, using your link. I think it's helpful advice for parents in the trenches as we are.
    Thanks!

  5. Edward Green says

    January 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    'Graham also said that if he could go back and do anything differently he would “spend more time at home with my family, and I'd study more and preach less.”'

    http://www.politicsdaily.com/2011/01/24/billy-grahams-regret-i-would-have-steered-clear-of-politics/

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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