Sometimes, when my tongue runs away with me, and I use my words to express anger rather than bestow grace, and those words steal life and strength and peace rather than lavish them, I see the red flag of Jesus, and am stopped dead in my tracks.
But sometimes, I don’t stop, and don’t listen to Jesus, and feel that I am out of control, a train rushing on…
I might eat whatever is quick and easy or delicious, rather than whatever is a blessing to my body.
Or my marriage might enter a vicious spiral of criticism, resentment, judgement and anger,
And there we go, rushing on, rushing on, knowing that no good can come from expressing runaway emotions, knowing that what one sows, one reaps…
On and on, we rush, speaking carelessly, heading for a train wreck, smashing past the level crossing, towards the other train.
And that’s when I understand grace and the mystery of the cross
What I sow I should reap, right? But that was before Jesus came.
* * *
Our train hurtles on, and Jesus sees that we are going to crash.
He steps in.
And our train still hurtles headlong; we are out of control.
And He absorbs the crash in himself.
And we crash into grace; we crash into Jesus.
I am redeemed.
My marriage is redeemed
Because of the grace Jesus died to bring me.
Because of grace.
* * *
He keeps me on track, he keeps my marriage on track,
Keeping me on the rails
Because he absorbed the impact at Calvary,
Of all this foolish, headlong sin.
Oh, I trust grace
I trust mercy.
* * *
If the world were governed by dreary cause and effect,
And a woman could reap only what she sows,
Lord, who would stand?
But you stand between us and destruction,
For this we revere you.
For it’s not a mere mechanical world of crime and punishment.
It is a world of miracles.
It is the world of Jesus where he lives.
It is a world where Jesus stands in front of us,
Absorbs the impact of our bullet trains
Speeding at a million miles an hour towards self-destruction
And in that resurrection is hope that I, who live in him, shall also rise.
* * *
Lord, sharpen my eyesight
Help me to see your red flags in time,
To repent in time
And when I do not,
When I crash,
Let me crash into grace!
The seventy times seventh chance,
The four hundred and ninetieth chance,
The infinite chances you lavish on me in the land of the living,
Because you love me!