Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

On Razor-Blade Millionaires; the Moon on a Chain and Being Content with What you Have

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 I am listening to Gustave Flaubert’s A Sentimental Education on my iPod as I walk.

It opens with a steamboat journey from Paris:

“The hill on the right bank of the Seine dropped out of sight, and another one loomed closer on the opposite side.

This hill was topped by trees dotted between bungalows with hipped roofs. They had sloping gardens separated by newly built walls, iron gates, lawns, greenhouses, and puts of geraniums set at regular intervals on terraces with parapets to lean on and enjoy the view.

As they caught glimpses of these small country villas, so charming and peaceful, more than one of the passengers thought longingly of owning one, and living out the rest of his days up there, with a nice billiard-room, their own motor launch, a wife, or some such dream.”

* * *

Have you ever dreamed such a dream? I sure have. We have been to Scandinavia for the last three summers—Norway first, then Sweden, then Denmark.

Scandinavians take summer very seriously, because it is so brief. Whenever there is a lake or a river or a fjord, you see these red-roofed houses, with a canoe tied to the mooring pad.

Roy and I look at each other, and we each know we are thinking, “I’d like a little summer house on a large lake, or by the ocean, or by a mountain tarn, and a little canoe to mess about in.”

* * *

When Roy retired early, two summers ago, we got some counselling so two intense people living together 24/7 would not provoke each other to distraction.

The counsellor was good, and offered us much insight into ourselves,though he ultimately drove me to distraction.

One issue which came up was that now that my gifted husband was home, I wanted him to do, well, simply everything.

I had a dream of living near a stream. “Roy, please could you get a water pump, and rocks and concrete, and construct a waterfall,  which will lead to a stream which will go around the garden.” Our garden is 1.5 acre, so this was no small task.

But no, I wasn’t joking, and I bought a whole pile of books which showed how one could construct an artificial waterfall and stream.

Roy got very stressed. He had his own list of Must-Dos, and Would-Love-To-Dos, and could not give me a date for when construction would commence on my waterfall and stream.

I got frustrated. I sulked. I felt a bit outraged. Roy had endless free hours. Why was he saying No to this small matter of a waterfall and stream which he wanted as much as I?

So I brought up his unreasonableness with the counsellor.

* * *

In reply, he told us two stories, which I thought were very foolish, and at which I did not smile.

But I remembered them, and puzzled over them, so, I guess, they were not that foolish after all. More like koan.

* * *

One was a story of man who wanted to be a millionaire. But alas, he realised that he lacked the intelligence, talent, education, drive and resources to become one.

So he thought, “Well, what do millionaires have that I might be able to afford?”

And he thought, “Ah, I bet a millionaire could afford to change his razor blade every day.”

And he resolved, “Well, I realize I am never going to be a millionaire, but I can afford a new razor blade every day. So I am going to be a razor-blade millionaire.”

Moral: Not everyone can achieve their dream. Only one person will be the most famous writer in the world; there will only be one richest man in the world.

However, most of us can achieve some of our dream. We can write, though we may not be wildly successful. We can travel some, even if we do not get to see all the beauty we want to.

                                                       * * *

Story Two was James Thurber’s magical incantatory story Many Moons. Spoiled princess Leonore cries for the moon, but is tricked into happiness by the moon on a necklace around her neck.

Examine the dreams you are convinced will make you happy. Perhaps a simulacrum of them will work just as well. Examine exactly what you want and see if a much simpler, easier thing will make you just as happy.

* * *

I saw magical homes on the Bosphorus Cruise we went on last April, winding between Europe and Asia–beach homes, mountain homes, lake houses. I sort of coveted some of these for the dream or illusion of peace they represent.

But heck, two houses to be furnished, kitted out, made comfortable, and kept clean. One is time-consuming enough.

So, while I have not totally given up the dream of the beach house, I have put on a very distant back-burner. I can be perfectly happy without it, which is, of course, the most persuasive reason not to save up to buy it.

One of the brilliant sentences from Richard Foster’s brilliant book   Celebration of Discipline which have lingered with me is this, We don’t need to possess things to enjoy them.

And now, when material temptation assails, I decide instead to be a razor-blade millionaire, revelling in the sea, and mountains and lakes from the large picture windows of my camper van, and renting the occasional idyllic cottage for a week, wearing the moon on a chain, being contented with all the goodness life offers me, sharp razor-blades, peace around my neck, and eternity in my heart!

Good Christian Blogging should be John-The-Baptist Blogging

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How can a Christian blogger make sure her writing is a blessing to her readers?

Not every post, of course. The word “blog” is an abbreviation of weblog, a diary, and there is a therapeutic, transformational element to  recording our lives in our blogs–who we are, and what we do and think. Without that, I think I would either bore-out or burn-out of blogging!!

However, if we aim to be a blessing to our readers, most posts should point to something to someone bigger and greater than ourselves.

To the ultimate rock-solid foundation for happiness: the  deep, deep love of Jesus

And that is the best gift we can give our readers, not just ourselves and our insights but a reminder of the deep sea joys of God, the sea in which alone we find rest.

* * *

“After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie,” Mark 1:7.

Oh, amazing John the Baptist–who, while surrounded by crowds, and much praise and adulation knew that he had nothing solid to offer them,  no solid foundation for people’s hope, or joy or bliss.

And, knowing this, the only honourable thing he could do was point them to the rock which would endure when all else crumbled; to the only hope which would not disappoint; to the only joy which would satisfy in a world in which everything else offers diminishing returns, so that we wearily need more and more achievement, acquisition or experience to fill the emptiness within.

But one thing and one thing alone satisfies our restless spirits completely: the living waters of God.

Oh Lord, help these letters to the world, which are our blogs, offer these living waters to the world.

Guest Post by Dick Woodward: Blessed are the Meek

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Dick Woodward founded and pastored both the Virginia Beach Community Chapel and the Williamsburg Community Chapel, where he remains as pastor emeritus. His Mini Bible College, available in print, audio and electronically, has been translated into more than 26 strategic languages and is disseminated by ICM around the world to nurture believers. The Mini Bible College is a survey and topical study of the Bible that teaches practical and devotional applications of every book of the Bible to our lives.


Read previous posts about Dick Woodward at “How to Change the World from Your Bed.” or here.
Dick Woodward’s blog is 4 Spiritual Secrets. Visit ICM at http://www.icm.org/

I am honoured to run this guest post by Dick Woodward!

Dick and Ginnie Woodward



THE MEEK

 Jesus says: “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5). What is meekness? Meekness is perhaps the most misunderstood and misapplied of these eight Beatitudes or “blessed attitudes”.

Meekness is not weakness. We hear Jesus say, “I am meek” (Matthew 11:29). When you get to know the Jesus Christ of the Scripture, you realize that He was a weak and milquetoast kind of man.
The Old Testament describes Moses as the meekest man who ever lived (Numbers 12:3). As you read the Old Testament and get to know Moses, does he impress you as a weak man? Jesus was not weak and Moses was not weak. They were meek.

We understand the biblical word “meek” if we think of a powerful horse that is unbroken. It is a very strong animal and it is strong-willed. People who are experts at this sort of thing will slowly slip a bridle over the head of that horse, carefully placing the bit in that horse’s mouth. They then strap a saddle on the horse’s back. When they finally reach the point where the horse accepts the control of the bit, the bridle and the person sitting in the saddle – when the horse’s will is broken or tamed – that horse is still powerful, but it is now meek. We might then paraphrase meekness as “strength under control.”

We could paraphrase the question the risen Christ asked Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus: “Why are you persecuting Me? Why are you pulling against the bit? It is so hard on you. It is tearing up your mouth” (Acts 9:4, 5).
But when Saul of Tarsus asked: “Lord, what will You have me to do?” he had accepted the control of the bit, which along with other things, was the will of the risen Christ for his life. That is when Saul of Tarsus became meek in the biblical sense of the word.
That is precisely what it means to be meek.

Jesus declared, “I am meek” while He was giving one of His greatest invitations: “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
This invitation was addressed to people who were working themselves to the point of exhaustion to try to manage their very heavy burdens.
At first it sounds as if Jesus will simply give them the rest they obviously need. But when we study the invitation more carefully, we see that Jesus is inviting these people with their heavy burdens to come and learn. He is inviting them to learn about His burden, His heart and His yoke. He wants them to learn that His burden is light. This is amazing since He literally had the world on His shoulders. He wants them to learn that His heart is lowly or humble and meek and He wants them to learn that it is His yoke that makes His burden light and His life easy.

A yoke is not a burden. A yoke is an instrument that makes it possible for an animal like an ox to move a heavy burden.
Many of us have seen in the developing world oxcarts piled high with burdens that are being pulled by an ox. How is that ox to move that cart which is piled so high with cargo? Can it push the cart with its head? The yoke makes it possible for that very strong animal to have its strength aligned with the oxcart so that he can move that enormous burden with ease.
This simple and profound metaphor defines meekness. Meekness is strength under control. Essentially, Jesus is teaching: “I take the Yoke of my Father’s will upon Me every day.” Remember that He said, “I do always the things that please the Father” (John 8:29). That was the yoke Jesus wore. He submitted to the yoke of the Father and He was one hundred percent controlled by the Father one hundred percent of the time. That is the meekness Jesus is teaching His disciples.
The word Jesus used to describe the role of the Holy Spirit was the word translated as Comforter. The Greek word “paraclete” literally means “One who comes alongside us and attaches himself to us for the purpose of assisting us.” We are yoked together with the Holy Spirit when we attempt to follow God and our risen Lord Jesus Christ.
And remember, a yoke is not a burden but an instrument that makes it possible for us to move great burdens.
A yoke that fits well, and that was smoothly rubbed out by a good carpenter, made the animal’s life easy; it made its burden seem light. A carpenter like Jesus would have made yokes that fit very well, that would be smooth inside so they would not irritate the animal. Jesus teaches meekness because He knows the yoke He wears every day will make the burdens light and life easy for those who are struggling because they have no yoke. This is only one of four places in the Bible where the word “easy” is found.

When He teaches the third beatitude, Jesus is essentially saying: “There is a right way to live your life. If you will live life as I do, you will find that you will not be burdened, weary, nor working yourself to the point of exhaustion to manage your problems.” He was really saying, “Take life as I take it. If you accept My Yoke of meekness, you will discover that it can make your burden light and it can make your life easy, no matter how great your challenges.”

In summary, He is essentially teaching the people on the mountaintop: “Those people down there are suffering because they do not know how to pull the load of life and its many problems. They are not able to move the burdens because they have no Yoke. But if you will confess My values, live your life with My attitudes, and be trained by the spiritual disciplines I will show you as you follow Me, you will learn something about My burden, My heart and My Yoke that will give you rest in your soul.”

Meekness is the discipline of our “want to,” or our will. The word “disciple” and the word “discipline”come from the same root word Mathetes (math-ay-tes’); from NT:3129; a learner, i.e. pupil. The promise of Jesus that accompanies this blessed attitude is that the meek disciple will inherit the earth.

This simply means two things: (1) We should expect a disciple of Jesus to be a disciplined person, and (2) the disciplined disciple of Jesus gains everything when they have the Yoke of Jesus and His Father on their life, all day long every day.

One disciple I knew well after experiencing and practicing this beatitude for years said, “I wonder where my “want to” went to.”

Best Blogs for Teenagers

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Irene’s room has a rotating series of inspirational quotes
I am compiling a list of blogs to recommend to my teenagers, ones they can subscribe to on Facebook—so their Facebook newsfeed has something of substance.
Fun-loving Irene, 13, has grown very keen on organization, efficiency and productivity, and blogging, so this is skewing my list.
1 Michael Hyatt—THE productivity, efficiency and intentional living guru. Very sensible and practical. And a Christian.
2 Zen Habits—On living efficiently and meaningfully and intentionally. Tips on everything from writing books quickly, to packing, to tweaking daily routines.
3 Life Hacker—Again, lots of practical efficiency and productivity tips and research. A bit on the techy side.
4 Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project—Another of those “good life” blogs, but in this case, focused on a happier life. Very sensible and practical. A happy life, according to Rubin (and me) includes exercise, reading, organisation, tidiness, creative work, friends and good family relationships. (And I would add God, Bible study, and prayer.)
5 Flylady. Net. Never too early to learn to be tidy, disciplined and organised. So, if you can stand it, teenagers, here’s one which help you keep your room tidy, and your life organised. Far better for moms, however.
6 A Holy Experience—I would prefer Ann to come to the point more quickly, and with fewer photographs, but her blog is the most God-filled, Christ-filled “real thing” I have encountered. She avoids controversy, and gives us Jesus and his Father and his Spirit every day. Wow!!
7 And the most brilliant Bible in a Year blog from Nicky Gumbel at Holy Trinity Brompton.
It’s my dream to blog through the Bible—I am going to have another bash next year. Nicky’s is an intimidating model of elegance and brilliance.
8 And if they are interested in health, healthy eating, healthy living and exercise, as Irene, in particular, is, I’d recommend Rick Warren’s The Daniel Plan.
Please tell me what you would suggest for serious-minded Christian teens!

Now or Never: How our Spiritual Destiny Hinges on Prompt Obedience

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 “Come follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men. At once, they left their nets and followed him.” Matthew 4:19

At once. That is the operative word. Would they have done it if they had thought about it? Written out the pros and cons? Sought advice? Prayed about it? Wondered if it could possibly be God’s will for them to NOT provide for their wives and children? To abandon the vocation for which they had trained all their lives? And all their assets? To follow someone they had never heard of? With no reputation or references?

No sensible person would have done that.

When we hear Jesus speak, it’s safest to obey him at once. Once we get into wondering if what we have heard him say “makes sense,” we often end up not doing it.

Because why should it make sense to us? God often hands over just one piece of the jigsaw at a time, illuminates just the stretch of the road on which we are to walk.

* * *

Our friend Paul discipled Roy and I over a five year period during which I was struggling with two things–to break the hold of writerly ambition over my heart; and to do my fair share of housework. The former we decided could only be done by laying that ambition on the altar for God to do with what he pleased.

I was most unsuccessful in both these projects. I’d lay my writing down one day; take it back the next day. Be the perfect helpmate and housewife one day. Not do a stitch of housework next week.

I used to send in several typed sheets of homework to Paul weekly. (We studied two courses he had written together–Sonship and The Love Course.)

Finally, he said quietly, “Anita, your insights are priceless. You should publish them. But if you do not obey God’s voice, he will take them away and not give you any more.”

I was silent. And chilled.

And my ability to obey God’s voice, even when it is difficult and costly began to grow.

* * *

Jesus issued his invitation to Peter, Andrew, James, John, Matthew. And moved on. If they dilly-dallied or refused initially, they might have missed the adventure of their lives. 

The risk of not obeying what we hear God say, when we hear him say it, is that “later” too often becomes never.

There’s an adage, “God is a gentleman and soon gives up speaking to those who do not hear his voice.” I don’t know if that’s true or not. But if we continually ignore God’s promptings to be kind, generous, or self-sacrificial in specific ways, we harden our hearts, deafen our ears, and train ourselves to shut out God’s voice.

And the greatest risk of often saying “no” is that we can lose our ability to know for sure what God’s voice sounds like. Is that God? Or not? We are unsure.

But the more we obey, the more we hear his voice with crystalline clarity.

“How you know it’s God?” one might be asked. Because I have often heard him before. I recognise the timbre of his voice. His accent.

* * *

I sped-read Living at the Edge the autobiography of David Pytches a few years ago. He had saved money for university, and then, as a young man in the army was lovingly mentored and discipled by an older couple who lived in an abandoned railway carriage, and poured themselves into the young servicemen. He hears God tell him to give all the money he had saved to the older Christian. He does so, potentially giving up his opportunity to go to university.

Later on, David has amazing adventures with God, is instrumental in introducing the Charismatic renewal and John Wimber to Anglicanism, and in founding New Wine, Soul Survivor, you name it. Mike Pilavachi emerged from his mentoring, as did Matt Redman. His own children are key players in the charismatic revival in England.

“Wow,” I thought. “How scary.” What if David Pytches had refused to give away his college money at God’s prompting? What if he had procrastinated? What if he let himself believe he had imagined it?

Then the next time he heard God speak, he could again have told himself that he imagined it, that obeying God in such things was something impulsive hotheads did. That other people did.

He might have left sad so many times that he would no longer know God’s voice, no longer be able to pick up the still whisper from the noise around him.

He would have lost the ability to be absolutely sure that the voice he heard was God’s. Or not.

And so might have missed the adventure of following that voice, calling. Calling him to adventure. As he calls all of us.

Oh, Lord, strengthen my resolve to obey you promptly.

In which I ponder False Starts & Dead Ends, & God says, “Come, Dance.”

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 I set aside a few hours one day a week to declutter.My maternal grandparents left a house full of a lifetime’s stuff which neither they, nor their three unmarried children who lived at home, had ever dealt with.And the accumulation made their house seem small and cramped and dark.

Oh, how much space it took up. Whole corridors and large sections of rooms!!

And my father died, prematurely, after a few dreadful months of sorting it out, tossing it, selling or trying to find homes for it. He didn’t even get to enjoy or use the stuff!!

* * *

Yesterday, I heard my friend, David, the son of John Bendor-Samuel, the founder of Wycliffe Bible Translators, UK, say in his Sunday sermon that his brilliant father was a hoarder and left two rooms full of papers, magazines, sermon notes, lecture notes, and journals, which David is stolidly dealing with.

I can’t stand the thought of leaving mess and papers for someone else to sort out. It’s just plain wrong. And so, I declutter once a week.

* * *

It’s a bit of a sad exercise, really. I see projects started with enthusiasm, which proved abortive. Courses I took which were a red herringish waste of time. Diaries filled with “Lunch with X and coffee with Y,” and you know what, twenty years later, I don’t remember  who on earth these people were. I look at To Do lists: “Reply to A, email B, thank C.” Who are these people? They are all out of my life.

I look at projects taken up and abandoned. I love French, but early into my French classes, I bought the complete Remembrance of Things Past in French. Oh-uh!!

How many hobbies and interests I plunged into by buying a pile of books on the subject!!

How much I tried to do with my own strength instead of relying on God!

How long it took me to focus on my writing!

* * *

And, the odd thing is, when I look at these things I poured my intensity into which were unfruitful, which failed, or disappointed me; things I wanted so badly which I did not get, or which I got, but which did not satisfy me; false starts, dead ends, I have the same overwhelming sensation.

And it is not sadness.

It is someone saying, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

I sense God’s overflowing love.

What?

Well, when does a good parent love their child most? Feel most protective? When they have aced their exams, or when they have truly blown it, and are down in the dumps? When they experience rejection, failure and sadness, or when all is sunny?

And he who is melding the shards of my life—wasted time, wasted energy, wasted intensity–into a beautiful stained glass window sees me turn over these scraps of wasted things  sadly, and says, “I will let nothing be wasted.”

And he says, “Yeah, I know. I know: you did all that in your silliness without enquiring of me. I love you anyway. I love you.”

And he says, “All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well.”

And he says, “Come, beloved. Want to dance?”

Blessed are the Meek — A Guest Post by Jo of Travelling the Circle Line

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Jo blogs at Travelling the Circle Line. Do visit her.

Thank you, Jo.

‘Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.’ Matthew5:5
Meek is not a word that is used much these days. When it isit tends to have a passive nuance: timid, mild, docile. In the bible meek is used to describe Jesus (Matthew 11:29,1Peter 2:19-22)) and those are not words that I associate with Him. I think that the Bible must mean something quite different by the word meek.
Biblical meekness is defined as patience when one has been slighted or injured. It is the very opposite of sudden anger, malice andvengeance. It is a quiet and gentle spirit rather than haughty highmindness.The English word comes from the Greek word meaning companion or equal; the meek person is willing to walk alongside others without judgement, superior to none,she knows that everything she has and all that she is comes from God. One commentator described the meek person as one who ’carry themselvescourteously’. I like that.
This is the person who will inherit the earth. Is this inheritance eternal only or can it be claimed here and now?
So much of ourfaith is bound by the tension of the here and the not yet – the piquant combination of current joy and patient anticipation. In the Old Testament, the land is clearly linked to blessing but also to just and responsible living.
The New Testament teaches us that we can aspire to another sort of wealth, even more precious. Godly living, we are told leads to benefits in this life and the next (1 Tim 4:8). Meekness produces peace too great to be moved by small insults and I suggest that leads to contentment. We are free to enjoy everything God has given without grasping,without ambition, without demanding rights. We are joint heirs with Christ of the earth and everything in it, both spiritual and physical, now and in what is yet to be, if we are prepared to replace retaliation with peace, anger with courtesy and vengeance with love.

When Faith falls into Place like a Jigsaw, Piece by Piece

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Jigsaw Puzzle Tabgha - Bread and Fish Mosaic
 As I was writing on the cosmic significance of the Cross of Christ, I realised that though I was born Catholic, remaining so until I was 21 and was, sometimes, a serious Catholic–even a novice in Mother Teresa’s Convent for 14 months–I had never understood why Jesus had to die. If I committed a mortal sin, I would go to hell–if I had not had the chance to go to confession and be absolved before I died (Do you see how this strengthens the power of the priesthood?)

If I only committed venial sins, I would go to Purgatory, and then after a period there, shortened if people prayed or paid, offering Masses on my behalf, I would go to heaven. Just as if Jesus had not died?

And when–after a six year period in my twenties of not really believing anything very much–I decided to recommit to following Christ, I went to serious Bible-believing Protestant churches.

And when the Atonement was first explained to me, I am afraid I did not really believe it.

Why? Because it could not really be proven.

I had, similarly, not really believed in heaven and hell for those six years, because, for all I knew they were theological inventions, theological fairy tales. I had decided not do anything for desire for heaven or fear of hell, because there was no proof for either of these.

* * *

As an undergraduate at Oxford, I had listened to lectures on Lord Raglan’s The Hero and was struck at the resemblances the life of Jesus bore to these mythical heroes across cultures.

1. Hero’s mother is a royal virgin;
2. His father is a king, and
3 4. The circumstances of his conception are unusual, and
5. He is also reputed to be the son of a god.
6. At birth an attempt is made,   to kill him, but
7. he is spirited away, and
8. Reared by foster -parents in a far country.
9. We are told nothing of his childhood, but
10. On reaching manhood he returns or goes to his future Kingdom.
14. For a time he reigns uneventfully and
15. Prescribes laws, but
16. Later he loses favour with the gods and/or his subjects, and
17. Is driven from the throne and city, after which
18. He meets with a mysterious death,
19. Often at the top of a hill,
20. His children, if any do not succeed him.
21. His body is not buried, but nevertheless
22. He has one or more holy sepulchres.

Numerous heroes fit into this archetype, including Krishna, Moses, Romulus, King Arthur, Perseus, Heracles, Mohammed, Beowulf, Buddha, Zeus, Samson, Achilles, and Odysseus.  

And so I wondered: Was Jesus God? Was there a God?

* * *

When C.S. Lewis was troubled by the same thing, in Oxford, 45 year earlier, Tolkein sorted him out by explaining that Christianity is simply a true myth: a myth working on us in the same way as the others, but with this tremendous difference that it really happened:

Lewis writes to his friend, Arthur Greeves,

  My puzzle was about the whole doctrine of Redemption: in what sense the life and death of Christ “saved” or “opened salvation to” the world. I could see how miraculous salvation might be necessary. What I couldn’t see was how the life and death of Someone Else (whoever he was) two thousand years ago could help us here and now — except in so far as his example helped us.

 And the example business, tho’ true and important, is not Christianity: right in the centre of Christianity, in the Gospels and St Paul, you keep on getting something quite different and very mysterious expressed in those phrases I have so often ridiculed (“propitiation” — “sacrifice” — “the blood of the Lamb”) — expressions which I could only interpret in senses that seemed to me either silly or shocking.

Now what Dyson and Tolkien showed me was this: that if I met the idea of sacrifice in a Pagan story I didn’t mind it at all: again, that if I met the idea of a God sacrificing himself to himself, I liked it very much and was mysteriously moved by it. 

Again, the idea of the dying and reviving god (Balder, Adonis, Bacchus) similarly moved me, provided I met it anywhere except in the Gospels. The reason was that in Pagan stories I was prepared to feel the myth as profound and suggestive of meanings beyond my grasp even tho’ I could not say in cold prose “what it meant.”

Now the story of Christ is simply a true myth: a myth working on us in the same way as the others, but with this tremendous difference that it really happened: and one must be content to accept it in the same way, remembering that it is God’s myth where the others are men’s myths: i.e. the Pagan stories are God expressing Himself through the minds of poets, using such images as He found there, while Christianity is God expressing Himself through what we call “real things”. Therefore it is true, not in the sense of being a “description” of God (that no finite mind could take in) but in the sense of being the way in which God chooses to (or can) appear to our faculties.

 The “doctrines” we get out of the true myth are translations into our concepts and ideas of that wh. God has already expressed in a language more adequate, namely the actual incarnation, crucifixion, and resurrection.  At any rate I am now certain (a) That this Christian story is to be approached, in a sense, as I approached the other myths. (b) That it is the most important and full of meaning. I am also certain that it really happened…  

Ah, but I then had no Tolkein to sort me out!

* * *

In my mid-twenties, I yearned to return to faith because my life was not working elegantly, and I thought I had made rather a mess of it. Surely I would do better if I followed Christ, I thought.

When I longed for faith again a North Star to guide; when, you might say, I missed Jesus; a friend, Peggy Goetz, suggested I try to do what Jesus said, and see if it was true or not.

“If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own,” John 7:17 was Jesus’s own apologetic, the proof he offered of whether his words were from God, or his own.

So I started giving to everyone who asked of me; lending and not asking back; praying and keeping a list of my prayer requests. And there was a tidal wave of answers, sweeping me into the Kingdom. Little odd things: I had just moved into an unfurnished house for my Ph. D and realized I’d need to buy a mattress. What a hassle without a car! I prayed I’d be given one, and a student returning to Korea offered me hers the next day. Several coincidences like that! Wow!

And so, real faith slowly slipped into place like pieces in a jigsaw.

* * *

Does anyone become a Christian and then instantly believe all its doctrines? Or do they fall into place, step by step as they did for me? Do we construct our creeds gradually? Yeah, I believe in the Resurrection. Yes, I believe in the Atonement. Yeah, I believe in Hell, because Jesus talked so much about it, though I am uncertain of its demographics. Yeah, I believe in Heaven–ditto!!

I believe!