Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

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Busyness is not just FROM the Devil, it IS the Devil (Carl Gustav Jung)

By Anita Mathias


 

An interesting idea to explore. I came across that statement about 25 years ago in Richard Foster’s classic, “Celebration of Discipline.” As someone who always has lots of books and movies she wants to read and see, places she wants to travel to, people she wants to hang out with, and things she wants to write, I have often been over-busy. Remembering this quote helps me to prune to increase fruitfulness.

Now, for the first time in our married life (22 years!), we are not over-busy. How wonderful that is, to allow the soul to breathe, to catch up with little domestic things we have long intended to do.
Busyness is indeed one of the great enemies of the spiritual life–like ambition, materialism, pride, oh, all those deadly seven…

And how does one become less busy. In the Biblical phrase, “Enquire of the Lord” before you commit to doing things, choose a book to read, choose a project to commit to, write a blog post.

And this will take a lifetime’s practice!!

Filed Under: In which I explore Living as a Christian

The Methodist Covenant Prayer: Beautiful, but Unnecessarily Extreme

By Anita Mathias


I am no longer my own but yours.
Put me to what you will,
Rank me with whom you will;
Put me to doing, put me to suffering;
Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you,
Exalted for you or brought low for you;
Let me be full, let me be empty,
Let me have all things, let me have nothing;
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
You are mine and I am yours.
So be it.
And the covenant made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.
I like this prayer. It’s beautiful. It’s sublime. It’s noble.
It’s not mine!! It’s not something I pray. And nor do I intend to pray it.
                                                      * * *
Put me to what you will. Rank me with whom you will. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you. Exalted for you or brought low for you. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
That’s, of course, understood in my relationship with Jesus. That I will love him, and do my utmost to have my heart filled with joy and praise and happiness and peace if I am put to things I did not choose, ranked lower than I would have wanted, put to suffering or laid aside, emptied and left with nothing.

I am not saying it would be easy, but, as far as I know myself, I think I would love God whatever, follow Christ whatever. What’s the alternative? Lord, to whom should we go? You have the words of eternal life.
                                             * * *
The Methodist Covenant Prayer was written in more fatalistic times, with a high expectation of infant mortality, of men dying young, of poverty descending in old age. It’s a bit too resigned and fatalistic for me.
And, while the Methodist Covenant Prayer is understood, of course, in one’s relationship with God, Jesus  taught us that our blue sky visions are possible because of him.
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matt 17:20)
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. (John 15:7)
Greater works than these you will do, because I go to My Father.” (John 14:12)
·      * *
So that’s another way of living a Christian life, of striving to live the wild dreams which God has placed in one’s heart, of trying to live in a brilliant, techni-colour world of colour and possibility and adventure and joy and variety (like the wild natural world God designed). Living in an exciting, dreams-coming-true world which an indulgent Papa is delighted to share with you, while accepting, of course, that should all the dire things the Methodist Covenant Prayer envisions happen to, you will still accept them as discipline from your Father’s hand.


Filed Under: random

Living in the Holy, Inspiring River of God (for Creative Writers)

By Anita Mathias

Waterfall Over Rocks  
Ezekiel 47 is my favourite Old Testament chapter, and probably one of the most life-giving chapters in the Bible.

The Angel takes the Prophet deeper and deeper into the River of God which flows from the Sanctuary, first ankle-deep, then knee-deep, then waist-deep, and finally, deep into the “river no one could cross.” All one can do was glide in its currents, and let the river take us where it wills. The River has us.
I stop and wonder where I am in this Holy River. I am still an amphibian, rather than a salmon. I can clamber out on to shore and croak, but I am happiest swimming in its holy rapids
When I am on shore too long, not breathing in the wild life of God through the gills of my soul, I get bored and restless. I shrivel; I miss the exhilarating currents of the river directing me. And, oh what relief and joy it is to return to the unpredictable holy river of the Spirit, full of ideas, and sweetness and direction and insight and let its currents take me where they will.
Where the river empties into the Dead Sea, the water there becomes fresh.
Sometimes my heart feels as old as the sea.  Salty. Not much joy in it. Nothing fresh. Same old, same old, same old salt.
Tired salt. Living has temporarily lost its savour.
Ah, there is only one cure for this old salty heart which has lost enthusiasm: the bubbling spirit of God—en theos–within it.
And that is to once again position itself in the river, and let the river of God, the blessed Holy Spirit thoroughly pour through my soul, irrigate it, and make it fresh again.
And so I return to the waterfall. And in returning and in rest, I am saved. In quietness and in confidence is my strength.
I return. I rest. I ask for the fountain to again pour into this bored, cold, weary, sad, distracted, unfocused soul.
And slowly, in a trickle, then a stream, then a rivulet, and sometimes a mighty river, grace irrigates my soul again.
I am enthusiastic—filled with theos, with God—again.
                                             * * *
And the life-giving river brings life to us—and even a livelihood, the best kind!!—wherever it flows!
 Swarms of living creatures will live wherever the river flows. There will be large numbers of fish, because this water flows there and makes the salt water fresh; so where the river flows everything will live. 10 Fishermen will stand along the shore; The fish will be of many kinds
·      * *
12 Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.
Love this! The fruit trees which grow by the river are continuously fruitful. They bear fruit every month, because they are nourished by the water of the sanctuary.
Do you know of a tree which bears fruit every month? I don’t. It’s against the normal process of nature which requires budding and flowering before fruiting. But sometimes, God gives that supernatural instantaneous creativity, all at once as when Aaron’s staff, not only sprouted but had budded, blossomed and produced almonds overnight. (Num. 17:8). (And here are some secular creative examples—Milton, Rilke and Blake.)
                                                      * * *
And therein lies the secret of creativity without fatigue, creativity without burnout. Continuously positioning yourself in the waterfall of the God’s presence and power. Letting the Holy Spirit fill you. Returning to the waterfall when you are weary and heavy-laden and resting. Letting it restore your soul.
Letting God download ideas and sparkle and iridescence and life and joy and energy from his amazing crashing waterfall into your hungry soul, until you are full, you are full, and the joy and energy from the presence of God is still flowing, overflowing, splashing all those around you with the life which the Father is pouring, still pouring into your soul.
And these evergreen trees, whose leaves never wither, whose fruit does not fail, are a blessing. Their leaves provide healing, their fruit is food, because they are nourished and fed from the very best springs, the water from the sanctuary.
As a Christian writer learns to position herself in the waterfall of God’s presence, and power and ideas, she is in touch with an eternal source of wisdom, intelligence, beauty, ideas and creativity. And so she will never run dry.
                                             * * *
I have been fascinated with the passage for the last three years, and have been going deeper into it—ankle-deep, knee-deep, and now waist-deep and still wading.
R. T. Kendall in his book called “The Anointing,” says the Holy Spirit flowing through you, enables you to do what you could not on your own. But without fatigue, without strain
As I shared, I was in the audience when Mark Stibbe prayed for an anointing to write on us.
And I have received it. I have written almost double of what I used to, without fatigue, without strain. Returned to the memoir I had abandoned. Page views and unique visitors are at a height. And I think I’ve written some good posts.
And to continue writing like this, I will need to continually position myself in the waterfall of God’s presence, and power and ideas. In God’s Niagara which will never run dry.


Filed Under: In which I chase the wild goose of the Holy Spirit

Blackberries Everywhere, Sweet as the Goodness of God

By Anita Mathias


Blackberries growing wild outside my study.

I walk along the country footpaths around my house, the hedgerows full of blackberries. They’ve been out for weeks, and I’ve seen families gather them for jam or pies, but I, I’m trying to jog, and maintain my pace, or am engrossed in my audiobook, I rarely stop to taste them.

Today, I did, and oh, they were sweet, and delicious.

And ripe with allegory and metaphor.

* * *

Whole sections of our orchard have been taken over by these brambles running wild. We’ve lived here for 8 years now. What a task it’s going to be to tame it!!

Yeah, weeds grow more readily in the garden of life than apple trees; the unwanted proliferates, but in the midst of the jungle of the never-asked-for-this, don’t-want-it which is our life, there remain fat, black, sweet blackberries. In the middle of the thorniest, most ensnarled thicket.

* * *

And the question is, am I stupidly going to be too busy for the banquet?

Or am I going to slow down and savour sweetness in the midst of all the things which didn’t go according to plan, the brambles which have taken over my orchard?

Am I going to stop my mind in her I’ve-Got-To track—got to listen to this book, got to maintain my jogging pace, and instead, slowly savour this goodness given to me unasked, unbidden, freely, generously?

Fat, sweet, ripe delicious blackberries.

Today, I returned my face stained with Holy Communion. I ate those free gifts from the goodness of God.

“Abundance, I give you,” He says. “My own self, I give you. Come, eat.”

Filed Under: In which I'm amazed by the goodness of God

If Christianity were an Untrue Myth: Would “a Christian Life” still be beautiful?

By Anita Mathias


  • Photo of monks working in a garden

When I was teaching myself French, using BBC videos, I heard a French monk sum up his life of silence, community, service, work in the sun, prayer, discipline, regularity, simple eating, simple living, no private possessions, saying, “It’s a beautiful life in itself.”
I last read John Piper’s Desiring God when Irene was a baby, so I can’t quote verbatim, but Piper describes a similar statement by a French monk, and then quotes Paul,  “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.” He goes on to say it would be foolish to live a Christian life, and follow Christ, if Christ were not in fact the resurrected Lord.
                                             * * *
 In contrast is Puddleglum, the heroic Marshwiggle in The Silver Chair.
 Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things–trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. . .Then all I can say is, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one.
And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just four babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world.
I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can, even if there isn’t any Narnia ’ (The Silver Chair)
  * * *
I myself have absolutely no doubt of the existence of God, or of Jesus. And, when it comes down to it, it’s because of personal experience of them.
In one of her videos, American Bible teacher, Beth Moore, says she was asked, “How do you know that Christ is real?” She answered, “If he wasn’t, then I must be crazy, because I talk to him all the time, and he answers.”  
                                                      * * *
In the unlikely event that all the times small and astonishing miracles happened because I prayed; things changed; people changed; I changed—were just a coincidence; if the times when I came to prayer depressed and beaten down, and left full of joy, if all this too was illusory– it would still be worth following Christ.
Today, I read someone honestly saying what he wished on his high school bullying tormentors:
I used to wish bad things for those guys. I hoped that karma would get them. That they would be impotent. Or in unhappy marriages. Or living miserable lives. I wanted revenge but, alas, vengeance was not mine to be had.
Oh come on! Why would we choose to live in this angry mental state? This horrible turmoil. This impotent hatred. This evil, negative mental state.
How much better to follow Jesus’s instructions to “Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who persecute you.”
And be free. And live in a mental state of peace and good will and high energy.
                                                      * * *
“Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.”
Even if Jesus were not God, would it not be better for us to be women of your word, to be trusted and relied on, rather than lying, or changing our minds, or whinging our way out of things if something better came along?
·      * * *
“Do not worry. Do not be afraid, ” Jesus says many times, in many ways.  “I have worried about many things in my life, most of which never happened,” said Mark Twain. So have I. So have you. Wouldn’t it be better not to worry about many things most of which never happen–whether Jesus were God, or not?
                                             * * *
Gentleness–Jesus teaches. The Kingdom of God is within us, and so preserve your peace, and sweetness. Let there be honey within your soul.
Gentleness, he preaches: If someone forces you to go one mile, go two. If someone slaps you, don’t slap him back. He would retaliate, and you would both be bruised. Gently turn the other cheek.
Oh all this is sublime, almost to the point of insanity. Sublime, and wise. Isn’t it better to march two miles in love, and prayer, than one in hatred and resentment? Isn’t it better to have one hard, and one gentler slap, than retaliate, and end up with broken bones?
 * * *
Oh Jesus, you are sublime, and you are wise, and you are brilliant, and it makes total sense to follow you teachings whether you are God, or not.
But, oh, how delighted I am that you are indeed my Lord, and my God!


Filed Under: In Which I am again Amazed by Jesus

Can an Individual Change Another Through Prayer Alone?

By Anita Mathias


I have a good friend, who prays constantly. 


He married, when very young, a woman who’s “feisty,” in his words, and bossy and critical. (They have 6 children, and not much money, so my sympathies are with her).


Anyway, my friend told me that when he sees something he does not like about his wife, or one of his children, he makes a note of it on the little index cards he uses to pray, and takes it up with God.


For instance, he started praying that his wife would be more gentle with him. 


That his son, whose ambition it was to own Microsoft would love God more than money. 


That his children would be less mean to each other. 

                                           * * * 

And most of these things came to pass. 

But not without several changes in my friend himself. These included an emotional and nervous breakdown during which he was unable to work and accepted the Kingship of Jesus over himself (the very Lordship he had so wanted his children to acknowledge.)

                                                     * * * 

Back to my question. Can an individual change another through prayer alone?

Yes, I believe so.  

If prayer works, and is for real–and the whole thrust of Scripture tells us that does and is–than prayer can change anything, including the people we love.

It takes a while, it takes faith–and since God has a sense of humour which borders on the perverse–it might often involves changes in the deep structure of our own personalities. 

                                                              * * *

Prayer is dynamite–explosive in its power–and we are invariably caught in the friendly fire of our prayer for another.

And change, the shedding of our dragon skin–is never without pain.

                                               * * * 

When I see a desperate need for change in someone else, which neither my advice, nagging, bullying or manipulation can bring about, I resort to prayer. (As I get wiser, I am glad to report, this is becoming more of a first resort rather than a last resort.)  And it does work, invariably, in surprising ways.

Hudson Taylor had this amazing goal and motto, “To Move Man, Through God, by Prayer Alone.” He used this in small things (when his employer forget to pay him) and in large, to raise tens of thousands of pounds for the China Inland Mission.

The hearts of people are in the hands of God, and he sways them how he wills. And an old adage goes, “Prayer is the hand which moves the hand of God.”


(An edited archive post)

Filed Under: In which I play in the fields of prayer

Why I go to Charismatic Festivals

By Anita Mathias


Georgian Bainov with his fiddle
Photo: Better photo of Heidi dancing here :)
Heidi Baker dancing in the River of God before her talk

I no longer attend a Charismatic church, but do occasionally go to Charismatic meeting or conferences. I’ve been to three this year, to RiverCamp, Revival Alliance and to listen to Patricia Bootsma, leader of Toronto church made famous by the Toronto Blessing.
A blog commentator seemed bemused as to why I do go. I am reasonably careful and intentional about my use of time—certainly lead an examined life!–so obviously wouldn’t go without good reason, but it’s good to try to verbalise the reasons.
1) Ah, this is perhaps the biggest reason: Worship.
 Sometimes, one’s spiritual life can get mind-centred, or me-centred. You know, praying about one’s concerns, praying for guidance, learning about God from the Bible, reading about the spiritual life. It is ME seeking God.
What setting aside a few days to worship God in community gives me is the experience of worship. Forgetting self, forgetting all the restless thoughts of a restless mind, forgetting everything, just submerging myself in the sea of God. Oh, how lovely that is, to forget self, leave self behind, and soak in the sea of God.
Oh, I love it, love worship, but worship is the weakest link in my spiritual life. I am not very good at it alone at home—simply because I have not practised enough. My mind takes over and talks to God. I tend to pause the worship music and meditate on the lyrics. But in the company of hundreds of others, I am carried away by the music, by the lack of distractions, by the fact that I can’t really escape from the room or pause the music–and oh, I worship God, and I find that my soul was craving for it!!

We are made for worship, that is what we will be doing in heaven, and, so worship fulfils a need of even the most cerebral soul.


2) People like Heidi Baker, John Arnott and Bill Johnson have a deeper faith and knowledge of God than I do. They write and speak well. So in listening to them, I see a high water mark of the joy, faith and miracles which, to my way of thinking are part of “the normal Christian life.” I realize there’s so much more. I want to strive for it.

2) My work–writing!!–is very intense, and so am I. I cannot go on writing for long weeks without a break. I could go to Europe, and do so, several times a year. So far in 2012, I’ve been on three trips to Istanbul, Ireland and Copenhagen, and to three Christian conferences.

I found both stimulating and very interesting, but the latter will have a far greater influence on the course of my life than the former. The latter have brought me more joy, and, more importantly for me, wisdom and direction.
I wouldn’t want to only go to retreats and conferences, but sometimes there is an emptiness in hedonistic travel, and I crave quietness, wisdom, and God. Ideally, I would construct holidays with time to seek God, as well as to explore.

3) I do pray most every day, but at home, I am mainly reading, writing and blogging. I am not setting aside long hours to seek God’s face, to seek his direction. At retreats and spiritual conferences, that’s all I do!

So I sometimes get direction for the year ahead, as when I received clear direction that it was time to return to writing and to wrap up my memoir in the course of the next 12 months.
This has only happened once, but we receiveda prophetic word which significantly changed my daughter Zoe’s confidence, emotional state, and sense of call and direction.
If a life is a work of art, always in flux, in spending time with God, I receive fresh direction; good ideas; ideas for tweaks to blogging, daily routines, financial practices etc; encouragement, guidance, and new inspiration. And occasionally a sentence or two or a clear direction from God.
If one thinks of time as a raw material, a resource, then investing your time, and more importantly, your whole will and spirit and soul into seeking God and God’s guidance is a great investment.

4 “Better is one day in your house than a 1000 elsewhere.”

Well, is it true, or isn’t it true? If it’s true, why not act accordingly?

I guess by choosing to spend days in praise and worship and listening to Bible talks from those far deeper in the holy river of God, I am making this choice: that a day in God’s house is better than a thousand elsewhere.
6 It’s a great experience for children to spend time thinking of spiritual things, and to develop a depth to their own spiritual lives. Being young, being impressionable, they have had spiritual experiences, like being slain in the spirit, which I have not had.
7 My theology on this is borrowed. However, I first received the Holy Spirit and the gift of tongues when someone prayed for me to. I experientially know that I am more likely to be touched and refilled with the Spirit when someone deeper in the River prays for me to, or when I spend a long time in God’s presence seeking this. And being filled to overflowing with God’s spirit is a prize well worth seeking!!

 I have two retreats planned, one in Germany, one in Wales, which will combine a rest, long walks, some exploration, and much time resting, learning and being strengthened in the holy river of God.


Filed Under: In which I chase the wild goose of the Holy Spirit

In which I Practise Praying Every Ten Minutes: The Ten Minute Worship Revolution

By Anita Mathias

Irene, delighted with and thankful for the sash of her new dress!


I have attended two conferences organized by John Arnott, on whose beat the hugely influential Toronto Revival was born.  They have influenced the course of my life—deeply introducing me the love of the Father; immersing me in soaking prayer ; and, most recently, introducing me to a ten minute worship timer.
A worship timer?
Carol Arnott was incurably ill, and went to the Community without Walls in Germany, where Rolland Baker was healed of dementia and cerebral malaria.
There Dr. Arne Elsen suggested the 10 minute worship revolution, using a timer or a buzzer which goes off every ten minutes, when you stop everything and worship. He cures five terminally ill patients, mainly cancer patients a week, through this infusion of positivity, joy, thankfulness, worship and praise.
Well, I was interested. I have seen 3-4 people bedbound with ME, who have been cured by stopping spiralling negative thoughts (I am too ill to do this—talking will tire me—walking will exhaust me etc.) and exchanging them with positive self-talk through the Lightning Process (a highly effective neuro-linguistic programming course, which I haven’t been on. Not religious as far as I know. )
So, this every ten-minute worship really should bring an infusion of the positive thinking which is  a neglected aspect of Jesus’ teaching, not to mention joy and praisefulness (both things I have sought) into one’s day to day life.
Zoe and I bought one the day we heard of it. I adore it and have used it every day for the last two weeks.
It’s will probably take 3 weeks to fully get into the habit of it, and for new neural pathways to be created. And I will report on any changes in my temperament and emotional state in about six months.
But the first two weeks (which is about how long it takes to get the hang of it, and to begin reaping the benefits, according to successful users) have been peaceful and happy. I don’t know how I will be able to live without it. If I turn it off for a nap or while having coffee with a friend, and then forget to switch it back, something feels wrong. I am less productive, time seems more lumpy and stolid instead of flowing in a grace-infused stream.
                                                               * * *
 So here’s my experience. I haven’t been using it exclusively to worship, though, increasingly, that is what I am doing every ten minutes.
1) Thankfullness
I usually stop when my ten minute timer goes, and thank God for something. Often something I may not have otherwise thanked God for. New people following my blog on Facebook or Google Friend Connect. The blog’s growth. The success of my children. The sweetness of Roy. The glory of my dog, and ducks and rabbits (okay, I adore animals!!). Blue skies. The orchids in the room. Time to pray. To read. To study the Bible. To write. Gratitude that earning a living is not all-consuming, but leaves us time to be organised and peaceful and quiet.
And my mental state slowly changes through this discipline of praise every ten minutes. Becomes more positive, more ebullient.
2) My Use of Time Significantly Improves
I have never worked full-time, and have worked part-time for about 3 years, teaching at Ohio State University, Binghamton University, and William and Mary, as a Graduate Teaching Assistant, and Adjunct Professor variously.
So my work habits have really been those of a dreamy, dilatory, distractible writer than a professional.
But, my goodness, this timer really helps. So, I am reading articles in the New York Times or the Guardian. But really should be writing. The buzzer goes; I worship. And, if by the time the buzzer goes again, I am still dilly-dallying, well then, I know something is seriously wrong, and settle down to work.
Yeah, you just can’t procrastinate and waste time that much when you are going to pray every ten minutes!!
It keeps me on track—with what I intend to do, what I have done, what I am going to do that day. Sort of gets me back into the river of surrender and discipline.
3) It keeps me positive. Roy, who is used to, and loves, working for hours with intense concentration was appalled at the thought of being interrupted every ten minutes.
However, once, when I was telling him off (very gently, and most justifiably:-), he burst into a huge grin. “Now you will never be annoyed with me for more than ten minutes at a time,” he said. Yeah,  it’s very annoying when you are telling someone off and timer goes off telling you it’s time to worship God, and you have to drop your moaning. And praise God!!
Seriously though, the first few days, my timer often caught me thinking something negative about something or someone, and instead I found something to be thankful for in that person or situation.
The second week, it’s been rarer to be caught out thinking negatively by my timer. It is truly beginning to change the tenor of my emotional life.
4) Impact on Family Life
We have long, leisurely family meals, which last nearly an hour. And the buzzer goes off several times during dinner. And we all go round the table and thank God for one thing we are grateful for.
And of course, consciously expressing gratitude makes you more grateful.
5) Praying in Tongues adds a depth to one’s prayer life, especially in areas in which one may not quite understand why one is stymied, or what or how one should pray. I usually pray in tongues haphazardly, when my heart is full, though I do so most days. Now I have a little slot for it.
6) Prayer to be filled with the Spirit is a prayer which is always answered (Luke 11:13). And to be filled with the Spirit is one of the desires of my heart—both to experience the joy and wisdom of the filling, and to be able to bless people from the overflow of God’s life in me. My timer reminds me to pray for this.
7) Awareness of God’s Presence. Again, using the worship timer helps me to be more aware of the presence of Christ, right here in the room with me, and in his hands a stream of bubbling waters which he offers to anyone who is thirsty and comes to him to drink.
Praying briefly every ten minutes incorporates prayer into the rhythms of my real and emotional life. I find that I am frequently living and working in an ambient state of praise and prayer, coming a tiny step closer to the injunction to pray continuously.
8) Worship is a weaker element of my spiritual life. I need the tides of communal worship to really lift my spirits into self-forgetful worship. I haven’t practised worshiping alone that much. So the worship timer is introducing this neglected dimension into my prayer life.
9) Visualization—Praying every ten minutes is a rich practice. Sometimes, I just relax and visualize. Me dancing with Jesus. Jesus breathing the Holy Spirit on me. (John 20:22). Me dancing in the waterfall of God’s presence and power and creativity.
10) Big Asks—I am using this exercise to be thankful, praiseful and to worship, to just love God and be, rather than for big-wrestling change-my-life kind of prayer. But if I am conscious of a need as my buzzer goes—I am stuck with my writing; worried about a kid, I send up celestial smoke signals, of course. Please help.
Incorporating it into work and exercise—If the buzzer goes off while I am reading or writing, which I often am, I pause, thank, praise, pray, and resume. If it goes off while I am walking and listening to a novel, or an easy theological book, rather than search through all my pockets for my iPhone, pause it, pray, then rewind to get into the flow, I simply multitask, and silently thank God for the book, the glory of the day and the fields around us, while the narrator continues reading me the book.
Yeah, so I am happier, more on track, more peaceful since I started using the ten minute worship timer. I recommend it.
(And here’s the link to Catch the Fire timer I use.)
  
  

Filed Under: In which I bow my knee in praise and worship, In which I play in the fields of prayer

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Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India

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Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

Wandering Between Two Worlds
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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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My Latest Meditation

Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

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Recent Posts

  • The Kingdom of God is Here Already, Yet Not Yet Here
  • All Those Who Exalt Themselves Will Be Humbled & the Humble Will Be Exalted
  • Christ’s Great Golden Triad to Guide Our Actions and Decisions
  • How Jesus Dealt With Hostility and Enemies
  • Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
  • For Scoundrels, Scallywags, and Rascals—Christ Came
  • How to Lead an Extremely Significant Life
  • Don’t Walk Away From Jesus, but if You Do, He Still Looks at You and Loves You
  • How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
  • The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God!
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

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What I’m Reading


Practicing the Way
John Mark Comer

Practicing the Way --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Olive Kitteridge
Elizabeth Strout

Olive Kitteridge --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Long Loneliness:
The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist
Dorothy Day

The Long Loneliness --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry:
How to stay emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world
John Mark Comer

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Country Girl
Edna O'Brien

Country Girl  - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

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My Latest Five Podcast Meditations

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anita.mathias

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets https://amzn.to/42xgL9t
Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
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