Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India. My new memoir

By Anita Mathias

 

Friends, I have written a new memoir. I would be so grateful for your support. It is available  wherever Amazon sells books, Amazon.com, of course, as well as  Amazon.co.uk.

Here are some reviews from distinguished writers

A beautifully written account of a childhood.  The textures, colours and, above all, the tastes of a particular world are lyrically but also precisely evoked. But, although Mathias rightly celebrates the richness of that world, she weaves through this magical remembrance of things past a skein of sadness that makes it haunting.  It’s lovely!

Francesca Kay, An Equal Stillness

Mathias invites us into a totally absorbing world of past and present marvels, generously laced with poetic and literary references and Dickensian levels of observation and detail. A beautifully written, important, and addictive book.

                                                                       Jenny Lewis, Gilgamesh Retold

 A dazzling, vibrant tale of the childhood of “the naughtiest girl in school” whose sweet tooth is exceeded only by her insatiable appetite for language and stories. Mathias conjures 1960s India, and her extended family in uproarious and heartbreaking detail.

Erin Hart, Haunted Ground

 Joining intelligent winsomeness with an engaging style, Anita Mathias writes with keen observation, lively insight and hard-earned wisdom about navigating the life of thoughtful faith in a world of cultural complexities. Her story bears witness to how God wastes nothing and redeems all. Her words sing of a spirit strong in courage, compassion and a pervasive dedication to the adventure of life. As a reader, I have been challenged and changed by her beautifully told and powerful story – so will you.

Carolyn Weber, Surprised by Oxford

Anita Mathias’s memoir is a remarkable account of a Catholic childhood in India. A treasure chest of sights, sounds and scents, it is full of food (always food), books (always books), a family with all its alliances and divisions, and many glimpses of a world which is at once exotic and familiar. A feat of memory and remembrance of a moment in Indian culture, still tinged by the English presence, which yet has universal qualities.

Philip Gooden, The Story of English

Anita Mathias’s beautiful childhood memoir reflects the rich complexities of India’s myriad minorities – in her case the Catholics of Jamshedpur, built by the Tata family, the first planned industrial city in India. The Church figures prominently; one of her childhood tortures is family rosary-saying. Secondly, this is a book about “food, always food,” described in mouth-watering detail. Anita’s reading is hugely wide-ranging (from the Panchatantra and Shakespeare to Dickens) and whenever there is trouble with her parents she plunges into her book. Gossip and social scandals run throughout the book, while at school, she indulges in characteristic naughtiness (locking her class into their classroom, for example). India’s wretched wealth-poverty polarisation forms a backdrop to her story. Tormented, passionate and often sad, this book is immensely readable.

Trevor Mostyn, Coming of Age in The Middle East

Rosaries takes us into the psyche of place, from an insider who has lived and breathed India yet stands at a distance from it, both as a constantly alert observer of the human condition, and as a Catholic negotiating a Hindu culture. This subtle balance of insider and outsider means we are treated to fascinating insights and angles on life in India – its tastes and smells, its quirks and eccentricities, preoccupations and prejudices, told with glorious detail, precision and humour.  Mathias reveals her evolution from naughty girl to writer: how she is shaped by inner and outer worlds to become the independent spirit and artist of language so deliciously demonstrated in this memoir.

Professor Jane Spiro, Testimony of Flight

 Born of extraordinary parents and raised in an Indian steel town, Anita Mathias was blessed with no shortage of brains. She spent her first nine years putting them to endless, delightful mischief, but not without making room for some very advanced learning. With an unprecedented appetite for reading, Anita tore through libraries and every volume she could lay her tiny hands on before leaving for boarding school at nine – which incidentally she adored. Her middle class homelife was a rich array of experiences: the copious quantities of gastronomic delicacies – oh the food! – a strict and strong creative mother, a learned and caring father, a close younger sister, and the large hinterland of an impressively accomplished family. Anita was undoubtedly a dazzling star in the red earth firmament of the industrial landscape of Jamshedpur, and her pluck and charm shine through every page of this beautifully crafted, comprehensive, and erudite memoir.

We wait impatiently for the next episode – which will cover her continued rebellions at a Catholic boarding school before her own religious conversion and entry into Mother Teresa’s convent as a novice.

Ray Foulk, Picasso’s Revenge

 Mathias’s prose is lively and evocative. An enjoyable and accessible book.

Sylvia Vetta, Sculpting the Elephant

 A fascinating description of Mathias’s parents, education, and religious bringing. She is an accomplished writer.    Merryn Williams, Six Women Novelists

And here is a longish description of the book

Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India is a lyrical account of Anita Mathias’s rebellious Roman Catholic childhood in India. A vivid recreation of a vanished world.

Mathias was born Roman Catholic through historical accident: Portuguese missionaries converted her ancestral South Indian coastal town of Mangalore in the sixteenth century. However, she grew up in Jamshedpur, North India, “The Steel City,” site of India’s largest steel company, a company town benevolently run by the Zoroastrians of Tata Steel.

There the Catholic church run by American Jesuits provided an all-encompassing universe–Mass, communal rosary at the grotto, the small groups of the Catholic Family Movement and a tightly-knit social life. In a pre-TV world, visiting friends was entertainment, juicy gossip flowed with homemade wine, and children sang, danced, and recited for guests. The private clubs were the other nexus of small-town life–screening open-air Hindi, Hollywood, and European movies almost daily; hosting one-act play competitions, as well as the quiz competitions and flower, fruit and vegetable competitions her mother often won. The club libraries were a jumble of well-thumbed books and ubiquitous Enid Blyton.

Reading was a way of escape from volatile fights with her mother–Grimm and Andersen read repeatedly, Greek myths, Norse myths, and Indian epics in tattered editions and, always, British children’s classics. Her father, a Chartered Accountant, who had returned to India after eight years in England to become head of accounts at Tata Steel, read her beloved stories and poems, acting out Shakespeare plays during midnight feasts, from which she recited speeches at school, aged six, earning a “double promotion,” skipping a school year.

Though you woke and heard the birds croak in Jamshedpur, with its jagged industrial skyline and roaring blast furnaces, it was also a city of parks, gardens, rivers, restaurants rendered magical by childhood’s appetite, and sprawling open-air markets with ducks, chicken and crab sold live for the slaughter;  the ecstatic neon geometry of Indian sweets; mandatory browsing in jewellery shops, and the Mecca of a second-hand bookstore where she steadily traded books to build up an aspirational library of classics.

The dreamy one-acre garden which surrounded the house, with trees to climb with a book, was a paradise to escape to with her pet dogs, ducks and chickens–a jumble of bright flowers, rock gardens, thirty fruit trees,  and vegetable gardens.   To a child, the large bright, airy sixteen-roomed house, originally built for British executives and filled with eccentric books, like a repository of the British Raj, was a formative universe of random reading.

Food was almost a character, everything homemade­­–sweets, pickles, ham, ketchup, wines, liqueurs, squash, and our version of Coca-Cola–an enterprise which required a full-time live-in cook, as the daily battle with dust and laundry needed a full-time live-in housekeeper. Meals–five a day–were events, the day’s scaffolding, and local women best known for their recipes.

With her father’s post-retirement academic job, the family moved into faculty housing on the campus of Xavier Labour Relations Institute, an American Jesuit-run business school in Jamshedpur, whose library, well-stocked with classic American literature and contemporary international drama and poetry, provided an intellectual explosion.

Mathias, irrepressible and rebellious, known as the naughtiest girl in the school, was finally expelled from school, aged nine, for disrupting classes with mischief and continual attempts at running away, and went to a boarding school, St Mary’s Convent, Nainital, run by German nuns in the Himalayas. The virtual end of childhood­–and a new adventure.

I’d be so honoured if you would buy a copy. Thank you

https://amzn.to/3qahEn3

 

 

Filed Under: Memoir, Writing Tagged With: Indian Catholics, Indian childhood, Indian women, Jamshedpur, Mangalore, memoir, Mumbai, reading, salvation by reading

My Experience of The Baptism in the Holy Spirit and of Speaking in Tongues

By Anita Mathias

So here I am, stressed and anxious. Or happy, at peace and joyful.

And almost without realizing it, I find myself praying. In tongues.

* * *

How do I find myself in Oxford, England, in the 21st century, praying in tongues, this ancient First Century gift vividly described in The Acts of the Apostles?

Well, 30ish years ago, when I was 17, I was visiting my grandmother in Mangalore, a pretty Catholic seacoast town on the west coast of India, where my family was “from.”

And there was a visiting Spanish priest called Marcellino Iragui who was running a Charismatic retreat.

It was a little like the Alpha course. We went through forgiveness, repentance, renouncing occult involvement, and on the last evening, the priest prayed for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.

Well, I gulped it all up; I drank it all in. Not so my father, who was amused, sceptical, bored—he was 63 and there was no way he was going to take up any new enthusiasms. He flatly refused to take me to the Charismatic Crusade for another day.

* * *

And so I asked a friend who knew the priest to introduce me, and asked him for the Baptism in the Holy Spirit there and then.

(I have an instinctive distaste for rules–Anita Antinomian, my friend Paul called me–and it amuses me that even in this most holy encounter, I sought to jump the queue, and do it my way.)

“Is she hungry?” he asked my friend, Joyce Fernandes, who later became a nun at Mother Teresa’s convent. “ Oh yes!” she assured him, having no idea at all. (Indian women can be very nice!)

And so we went through the theory: forgiveness, gifts of the spirit, fruits of the spirit, and then he laid his hands on me, and prayed for the Baptism of the Spirit, having me repeat the prayers after them after him. He asked for all sorts of wonderful gifts—prophecy, healing, miracles, wisdom, knowledge. All this I was game for.

When he came to, “And Lord, please give me the gift of tongues,” I interrupted him.

“I don’t want that,” I said. “It would be too embarrassing. My family would tease me.”

“You can’t pick and choose among the gifts of God,” he said sternly.

And so we prayed. I felt nothing. I was both disappointed– a  bit “Oh well, it would have been exciting had it worked,”–and relieved.

I re-joined my father. “So are you now a Charismatic?” he said, amused by the whole business. “Have you the gift of tongues?”

“No,” I said.

We returned to my grandmother’s. “Do you have the gift of tongues?” everyone asked.

“No,” I said, with complete truthfulness.

* * *

Well, I spoke too soon. I woke that night with rushing, gushing joy, a river that felt like it would burst my heart. It was overwhelming: joy so ecstatic, so seismic, it was akin to pain.

I knelt by the side of my bed, and prayed, praising God for the beauty of the world, for Himself, for his goodness–strange, barbarous-sounding unintelligible language bursting out of me. I was praying in tongues

I prayed in tongues, and I prayed with my mind, in rapture, with emotions new to me, prayed in English and in my new spirit-language, thanking God for his incomprehensible loveliness, which I suddenly perceived. For himself

“Oh, Lord, I just praise you, I praise you, I praise you.”

* * *

And well, that language never left me. A month later, I was in Mother Teresa’s convent, as an aspirant, training to be a nun.

I asked her in a personal meeting, “Mother, what do you think about speaking in tongues?”

“One tongue is enough for a woman,” she said brusquely.

And that was that!

* * *

Well, but I still prayed in tongues; I couldn’t help it—remember that Anita Antinomian bit?–and have done so for the last 30 years.

Tense: I find myself praying in tongues. Anxious: Are we going to catch that plane?–I find myself praying in tongues.

And when my spirit soars, swells, and for no good reason I am unreasonably happy, I find myself again praying in tongues.

When I am joyful and exhilarated in my garden, or by the seashore, or on a mountain, I find myself praying in ecstatic tongues. And, more restrained but slowly coursing into peace, I pray in tongues when I am miserable

It is the greatest mood-changer, and wisdom-infuser I know. The greatest shortcut to joy.

* * *

And sadly, my spirit-tongue hasn’t changed, and, sadly, it sounds rather ugly to my years, barbaric even. It’s not Greek, or Latin, or French, languages I love. I heard a Vicar in Oxford sing in tongues once, and it sounded like Persian, something vaguely Byzantine, definitely sophisticated.

Mine, it’s a cave man tongue, heavy glottals.

And that’s just as well, for if I spoke Old French or Medieval Latin, I would have been tempted to show off about my lovely spirit language. Instead, I have kept quiet about it, and prayed quietly as God meant, no doubt, for the last thirty years.

Some people say that one’s spirit language develops as we mature. Well, I have matured spiritually (ask Roy what an angel I can be when he is impossible. Well, sometimes!), but my language has basically stayed static.

And isn’t it strange that the one gift I specifically said I didn’t want was the one gift I got? (Though, about 20 years ago, the gift of prophetic knowledge and insight began to manifest itself in me, and be recognised by others, and is now my most treasured spiritual gift.)

* * *

Rejoice always, pray constantly, in everything give thanks. How on earth is that possible?

Well, praying in tongues is one way. I pray when I go on a long walk, and flag. Or do manual work. Or in the winter when the night finds me too tired to read or write, too tired to pray coherently, but not tired enough to fall asleep.

And then the Spirit, left within my spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing my inheritance, prays in rough-hewn sounds without any words I understand, and God hears His intercession, and so I know that all will be well, all will be well, all manner of things will be well.

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Filed Under: In which I chase the wild goose of the Holy Spirit Tagged With: glossolalia, Mangalore, Marcellino Iragui, Mother Teresa, Speaking in Tongues, The Baptism in the Holy Spirit

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Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India

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Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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  • All Those Who Exalt Themselves Will Be Humbled & the Humble Will Be Exalted
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  • Don’t Walk Away From Jesus, but if You Do, He Still Looks at You and Loves You
  • How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
  • The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God!
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Practicing the Way
John Mark Comer

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Olive Kitteridge
Elizabeth Strout

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The Long Loneliness:
The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist
Dorothy Day

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The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry:
How to stay emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world
John Mark Comer

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Country Girl
Edna O'Brien

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My Latest Five Podcast Meditations

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anita.mathias

Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/16/the-silver-coi https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/16/the-silver-coin-in-the-mouth-of-a-fish-never-underestimate-god/
I've recorded a podcast on how Jesus guided Peter to find the necessary tax money in a fish.
The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God
So the taxman comes for Peter: Does Jesus pay the voluntary,
but expected tax for the upkeep of the grand temple and its
priests)? And, as he often does, Jesus asks Peter what he thinks because as a friend, he's interested,and as a brilliant teacher, he wants Peter to think for himself..
Sons do not pay tax to their fathers, they both agree. 
Then, Christ,who repeatedly referred to his powerful body
as God’s temple on earth, decides to pay temple tax anyway
to avoid a skandalon, offence.
And Jesus instructs Peter to cast a line and a hook–as amateur
fishermen did–insulting for a professional with boats and nets.
And Christ again demonstrates that he knows best even in Peter’s
one area of professional expertise. And Christ knows best in our
areas of giftedness. His call often involves working just outside
our zone of competence, forcing us to function with the magic of
God’s spirit and energy. The grain of pride must die for resurrection.
And Peter finds silver in a fish. When you lack the money to fulfil
the dream God has placed in your heart, do not rule out His
wonder-working power. Pray for God’s miraculous provision, or
for Christ’s surprising strategies to create wealth, rather than work
yourself to a breakdown, or manipulate or use others to get money.
Will God tell us, on request, which fish in the multitudinous seas
has swallowed silver? He sometimes might, for he hates waste. But
not always. Tim Keller writes, “People think if God has called
you to something, he’s promising you success. But He might be
calling you to fail to prepare you for something else through the failure.
To work all night and catch nothing, as Peter did, strengthens our
character and endurance so that we are capable of becoming fishers of
humans, and, if God pleases, sometimes, perhaps even fishers of money.
Hi, I've recorded a new podcast. Here's the link. Hi, I've recorded a new podcast. Here's the link. https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/06/following-jesus-is-costly-and-the-very-best-thing-we-can-do/
Jesus is blazingly honest about the cost of following him. It’s our most brilliant, golden choice, though it does mean we can no longer follow ourselves. We dance instead to his other-worldly, life-changing music, asking at each transition point of our day or life, “Jesus, what is your assignment? How do I do it your way?” 
For me (descriptive, not prescriptive), shouldering my cross includes eliminating sugar and starchy carbs (to lose excess weight!), not watching TV (extreme!), keep my house and garden organised and pretty enough. And, also, taming anger and outspokenness! And refusing to sing a song of worry, or linger in anger, training myself to sing instead a song of trust, praise, and gratitude. 
While following Jesus is electric, and joyful, following
ourselves could entail ruining our health with addictive foods, caffeine,overwork, or the siren-call of our phones. Following Jesus does not mean relinquishing our goals and ambitions, but surrendering them to Him. We do not own
our work; God does. And so, we must repent when we overwork, get too intense about success, or try to impress others with it. For competitive cravings for success, fame, money,
or popularity wreck relationships, and mental, spiritual, and physical health, and never satisfy, for the ladder of success has no end, and climbing it means exhausting ourselves for nothing. We’re still restless.
You have made us for yourself, Oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you, St. Augustine wrote. If we do not try to obey the Great Commandment: to love God, and Christ’s second commandment:  to love our neighbour as ourselves, we could, one day,open the treasure box of our lives and find only ashes. Nothing!
C.S. Lewis: “Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/19/persistent-pra https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/19/persistent-prayer-turns-christs-silence-his-no-and-absolutely-not-to-yes/
So, a Syro-Phoenician woman comes to Jesus, crying out,
“Lord, have mercy on me. My daughter is suffering terribly.” But 
Jesus remains silent. Undeterred, she keeps crying out.
And Jesus snubs her: “I was sent only to the lost
sheep of Israel.” But she can’t believe “No” could be
his final word. “Lord, help me,” she says simply. And
then, a crushing rebuff. “It is not right to take
the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” But hitting
rock bottom makes your prayers strangely powerful. “Yes,
it is right, Lord,” she contradicts him, “Even dogs eat crumbs
that fall.” Dogs, hungry, humble, grateful, happy.
And Jesus praises her dogged faith 
which catalyses the miracle she longs for. 
He says, "Your request is granted.” 
Never passively accept any apparently intractable situations.
Reality is infinitely malleable in the hands of God. We pray,
and people change, circumstances change. We change. So
keep praying until little drops of the kindness of God
soften and change the impossible situation and your heart. 
Take your little mustard seed of mountain-moving faith,
and pray, seeing the kind Jesus in your mind’s eye.
Continue praying, past God’s silence, his “No,” and “Absolutely Not,” 
until Christ, charmed, says, “Yes. It’s time! Go, girl, go. This way.”
Dream big and wide like childless Abraham stepping outside,
dazzled by an immensity of stars, and believing God’s power
could give him as many descendants. But don’t waste your
passion and dream-energy. Pray for things that will bring you
joy, yes, but will also bless myriad others, creating something,
in Milton’s phrase, that the world will not willingly let die.
Each of Jesus’s prayers were not answered affirmatively; neither
will each of our requests be granted. We are not wise enough
to know what best to pray for. But prayer, incredibly, does change
things. So keep praying for the shimmering dream which makes
your heart burn and quiver; pray past apparent impossibility until
the heavens open, the Spirit descends, and you live
and create with God’s spirit energising and filling you.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/08/grab-christs-h https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/08/grab-christs-hand-when-you-are-sinking/
LINK in profile
Hi friends, I’ve recorded a podcast meditation. Pls listen should you have time.
Sometimes, the little boat of your life is tossed in the darkness, in a storm-swept lake, far from shore,
And a dark figure looms, walking on water, and you cannot see his face, and you do not know his name, and you are terrified.
And in the encircling gloom, Christ always speaks the same magnificent words, “Take courage. It is I. Do not be afraid.”
He comes to us in the darkness, a future that looks bleak, with unsolvable relational difficulties or financial difficulties, or when intellect, energy, and organisation feel puny, matched with our dreams and calling. But it is Christ. Do not be afraid.
And Peter, the risk-taker, from an overabundance of love and impulsivity, says, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” And Jesus speaks another of his great words, “Come.”
Jesus, the merciful, did not ask Peter to do something that transcended the humanly possible and Peter’s faith, but
since Peter wanted to get to Jesus as quickly as possible, and to do whatever Jesus did, he gives him permission to walk on water.
We sometimes yearn to do things for which we know we don’t have the money, time, abundant gifting, or even the character. Never begin them before you’ve prayed, “Lord, tell me to do it.” And if he says, “Come,” start tackling the impossibility, immediately.
And Peter walks on water, until he sees the almost visible wind, is afraid, and begins to sink. Fear paralyses, sinks, and destroys.
And Peter prays a powerful prayer, “Lord, save me.” And immediately, Jesus reaches out his hand and catches him, scolding, “Oligopistos. You of little faith. Why did you doubt?”
And the wind dies down, and Peter learns to keep his eyes on Jesus and his power when he attempts the impossible, and to cry out for Jesus’s help when he begins to sink.
Help us, Jesus, you who control the wind and waves, and all things, when we are sinking in the darkness, and all seems impossible. Tell the wind to be quiet.
Take my hand, precious Lord. Lead me on. Let me stand. Amen.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/01/how-to-find-li https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/01/how-to-find-life-changing-hidden-treasure/
Podcast link in profile
Hi Friends, I've recorded a new podcast meditation on Jesus's statement that following him is like discovering priceless treasure hidden in a field. The finder would joyfully sell everything to buy it, as should we!
Jesus speaks of living in the Kingdom of God, living with him as our High King and Lord, as a treasure, worth selling everything we have to gain.
He describes it as experiencing peace, joy, and operating in the power of the Holy Spirit.
As literally selling everything we have would take time, so too will adjusting our lives to living in Christ's invisible Kingdom.
It requires a slow, steady but definite adjustment of each area of our lives: relationships, what we read and watch, consumption and production of social media, travel, leisure, our spending and giving, time spent on food prep and exercise, on prayer and scripture, on reading and the news, on home and garden maintenance, on church activities and volunteering. Some of us will spend less time on these, others will spend more, for we each have a unique shape and calling.
Entering into the kingdom of God is a very individual pilgrim's progress; we each have a different starting point. Rick Warren of The Purpose Driven Life suggests that those seeking to change anything change their bodies first, by getting their exercise and diet under control... which is where I am starting!!
While following Christ is costly, for sure, it's costlier to follow what Tim Keller called Counterfeit Gods --“money, the seduction of success, the power and the glory,” climbing a cruel ladder which has no end, and never satisfies for long. 
In a remarkable account, Bill Bright, founder of Cru, describes his surrender to God as abandoning his puny little plans for God's magnificent plans. Once done, he said the future seemed brighter than ever before... And it undoubtedly was! Jesus's promise that the things the unbelieving world chases will added to those who seek his Kingdom first came true in Bright’s life, as it will in ours as we pursue Christ.
I’ve seen these Pre-Raphaelite paintings in Tate I’ve seen these Pre-Raphaelite paintings in Tate Britain several times, and they delight me each time. What a gorgeous museum!
And here is this week’s podcast meditation-- https://anitamathias.com/2023/06/18/the-spirit-helps-us-speak-creative-words-of-energy-and-life/ (link in Instagram bio)
On how we need the Spirit’s help to speak creative words of energy and life, not darkness and devastation.
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