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On Using Anger as a Trigger to Transform Ourselves

By Anita Mathias 2 Comments

Dear friends, I am continuing my series of short meditations on the Gospel of Matthew. This one, the eight in the series, concludes the meditations on the sublime Sermon on the Mount. Thank you for reading along!

On Using Anger as a Trigger to Transform Ourselves

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged,” Jesus says. “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

And so, Jesus reiterates a law of life: sowing and reaping. “Those

who draw the sword will perish by the sword,” he says. The

swift to condemn will be judged more harshly. For the seeds we plant

in the garden of our lives–our secret thoughts, our words, and the

kindness or meanness of our actions determine our flourishing.

We reap what we have sown in unexpected ways and at unexpected

times, since God, the righteous Judge, observes both our generosity

and our unkindness towards those we judged powerless to help

or harm us, and God holds our lives in his hands.

 

Jesus does not condemn accurately reading character. That

is an essential life skill—to realise that not everyone is trustworthy,

honest, truthful or decent. Indeed, Jesus warns us about

deceptive, smooth-talking people–“wolves in sheep’s clothing,”

out to devour you. Assess people by the fruit of their lives,

he says; thornbushes don’t bear figs.

 

However, dwelling on another’s faults, while ignoring our own,

invites judgement, Jesus says. He recommends using our irritation

with annoying or evil people as a reminder and trigger for

self-examination. When we are bothered by a speck in another’s eyes,

Jesus recommends checking if we have a whole log of the same

failing or a greater one in our own eyes. (Interestingly, Freud says

we are most infuriated by our own faults mirrored in other people!).

Obsessive judging is wasted time and energy. We must train ourselves

to refocus that energy into transforming those blind spots, limps, and

cracks in our characters, which so often destroy the house of people’s lives.

 

Besides, fretting over others’ faults leads only to evil, as the Psalmist says.

We unconsciously imitate speech and character traits we dwell on!

Read a good stylist, and you write better; focus on another’s stinginess,

manipulativeness, or dishonest self-promotion, and you risk mirroring it.

 

And what of us who’ve been judgey and critical? When we

repent, we live “under the mercy,” in Charles Williams’ phrase.

Jesus forgave Peter, who betrayed him, and he will forgive us.

God devises a unique calling suited to both the naturally sweet and

the naturally outspoken and no-nonsense. Whatever seeds you

have sown into your life, thistles or grapes, place them in the hands

of the God of redemption. Ask him to make the garden of your life

bloom, and to help you do the work he has given you to do.

 

I would love you to read my memoir, fruit of much “blood, sweat, toil and tears.”

Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India in the UK, and in the US, here, well, and widely available, online, worldwide 🙂

If you’d like to follow these meditations the moment they appear, please subscribe to Christian Meditation with Anita Mathias at Apple Podcasts, Spotify or  

Amazon Music

or Audible. And I would be very  grateful for reviews and ratings!!

If you’d like to read my previous recorded meditations,

9 Do Not Worry About What To Eat: Jesus

8. Happy Are the Merciful for They Shall Be Shown Mercy

7 The Power of Christ’s Resurrection. For Us. Today

6 Each Individual’s Unique and Transforming Call and Vocation

5 Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts

4 Do not be Afraid–But be as Wise as a Serpent

3 Our Failures are the Cracks Through Which God’s Power Enters our Lives

2 The World is full of the Glory of God

1 Mindfulness is Remembering the Presence of Christ with us.

Thank you 🙂

Filed Under: Applying my heart unto wisdom, Blog Through the Bible Project., Matthew Tagged With: charles williams, Christian meditation, fretting, Gospel of Matthew, judging, sermon on the mount, Sigmund Freud, sowing and reaping

What We Sow, We Reap because God, the Great Mathematician, the Impartial Referee, Keeps Score

By Anita Mathias

jacob epstein jacob angel

Jacob Epstein, Jacob and the Angel

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matt 7:2).

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy. (Matt 5:7).

As a man sows, so shall he reap. (Gal 6:7).

These principles run though Scripture from Genesis to Revelation.

* * *

I’ve been following Christ with increasing seriousness for 24 years now–but have loved Christ for much longer.

However, I no longer play Scripture roulette—try to find a verse which will tell me what to do and will provide a way out of the maze of decision.

When I don’t know what to do, I seek the face of Jesus and the voice of the Holy Spirit. And then, or concurrently, I look for principles running through scripture.

* * *

And this is one: that what a man sows, he shall reap.

Believing it is a practical version of what Proverbs calls, “the fear of the Lord.” We are careful in our behaviour, especially when no one is watching, when we can get away with things, because God is watching, and what a man sows, he shall reap.

When we have the upper hand, when we can get away with things, when no one will ever know, when we can, with impunity, be mean, cruel or dishonest—the secret good or evil we then do determines the course of our lives, and the sweetness or bitterness of them. It determines the things that happen to us. It determines our destiny.

How so? Because a very good mathematician is keeping score. Because an impartial referee is watching the game.

* * *

Jacob cons Esau out of his birthright and his blessing because he could, because he could get away with it, he thought.

And yes, well, desperate with hunger Esau promises that Jacob could have his birthright as the eldest son (a double share of the inheritance). And Jacob then lies to Isaac, claiming to be Esau, so getting the blessing Isaac intended for Esau.

And God watches it all, and God does not like it. Instead of receiving the blessing Isaac intended for Esau, Jacob goes through 20 years of unhappiness as a hired man, while Esau stays home and becomes very rich, being blessed in exactly the way his father wanted him to be.

* * *

Jacob falls in love with Rachel, “who is lovely and form and beautiful”. Leah, we are told, had weak eyes, which, in the years before corrective lenses, probably affected her facial expression as she scrunched up her eyes to see better, and her posture as she stooped to see.

And Jacob, after serving seven years to pay the bride price for  Rachel, gets Leah, whom he neither loves nor wants.  He then has to serve yet another seven years for Rachel whom he does love and want. Fourteen years to pay bride prices while Esau stayed at home hunting, and marrying a third wife with family wealth, building up a small army of 400 men (Gen. 32:6).

Jacob is tricked in a way ironically parallel to his own deceptions. He who tried to trick his older brother out of his birthright  now is tricked out of seven years salary for a older sister he does not want.

But Laban had no idea of how Jacob had tricked Isaac and Esau. It wasn’t exactly dinner table conversation. But God who watched everything allowed Laban to deceive Jacob as Jacob had deceived Esau and Isaac.

* * *

We reap what we sow because character is destiny, I feel convinced. Have you come across a lovely kind person whom everyone likes? Talking to them you largely hear good things about people, about how people were lovely to him. Were Jacob such a person would Laban have had the heart to trick him so cruelly? Very likely not.

Do you know bitter, abrasive, power-hungry, manipulative people? They are angry about many things, cross with many people. In a weird way, like appears to be attracting like.

The universe reflects your character, measure for measure. Your life often serves up to you what you are, measure for measure. Now, this perhaps sounds like something from The Secret.

But, in fact, it runs through the Bible: what a man sows he shall reap. The measure we give is the measure we shall receive. Measure for measure.

* * *

Jacob whose name means deceiver is deceived and things do not go well for him until he seeks to be blessed by the source of all blessing who blesses him with the ambiguous blessing of a limp, a reminder in his flesh that if he, Jacob, the manipulator, is going to live the rest of life under God’s blessing, he MUST rely on the source of all goodness and blessing for blessing, and not on his own ingenious tricks and stratagems.

Filed Under: Blog Through The Bible Project, Matthew Tagged With: blog through the bible, Genesis, sowing and reaping, the justice of God, Theoldicy

In which sowing goodness leads to a more abundant harvest that we could have imagined

By Anita Mathias

In late 2006, we planted bare rooted twigs in our orchard–cherries, and plums, yellow, red, and purple. This week we have harvested hundreds of plums off these bare rooted twigs that cost less than a pound each.

And in the years to come, God willing, those twigs, which grew from a single seed, will give us thousands of fruit.

That is the rate of increase God has built into nature.

Wow. I wonder if we would have the same rate of return if we sowed good deeds into the soil of life, like the good turn Boy Scouts were encouraged to do without any hope of return. Would that yield a mighty and inevitable harvest of blessing? I believe so–sowing blessings into other people’s lives is a sure way to be blessed ourselves, will  yield a inevitable tide, or circle of  blessing in our own lives.

 

Filed Under: random Tagged With: blessing, sowing and reaping

The Family For Whom Everything Went Wrong

By Anita Mathias

I once knew a family for whom everything went wrong. Consistently. For instance, the father of the family decided to retile the leaky roof on his house. But when winter came, it wasn’t done, and they all crowded into one room, and all got ill.
They had a massive vegetable garden, kept chickens (this was in America!) but somehow there was never any money. The mother of the family kept telling everyone how many years it was since she had bought a new dress.
If there was illness going around, they caught it. The children were scrawny and sickly. The mother had frequent psychosomatic illnesses which made it painful to her to move, and periodically the church pitched in, taking them meals and cleaning the house. |And then, the house was clean and the children well fed.
The father worked, but was adolescent, demanding home-made blueberry pies for dessert, for instance. The mother was overwhelmed. The children consequently were not particularly brought up, rarely helping about the house.
They switched churches frequently, once they guiltily felt they had exhausted the resources of love and compassion and helpfulness of their current church.
The father had a dead-end, low wage job. He wasn’t particularly bright, and probably didn’t have the greatest career prospects whichever field he entered.  And then he got a destructive promotion to an itsy-bitsy managerial position, which meant no paid overtime, which sent the family further downhill. They were never able to keep any cash in the bank.
I and my friends often discussed this family, and wondered why they were financially struggling, when apparently they worked as hard, or harder than other people.

* * *

Interestingly, there was another family in the same church we attended, whose sole breadwinner had exactly the same job. Neither man was particularly brilliant, and the second family had two more children.

Yet, this family thrived. The children worked hard and brought in money from their part-time jobs doing baby-sitting, and yard work. The mother was a genius of thrift. They had many friends who helped them.

What was the difference? Energy, survival smarts, practical intelligence?

And another small thing. I knew both families, and did various small favours for the first family—took meals over, gave them things, hired their kids at overly-generous rates. Nothing helped very much. The other family, when I thought of it, helped me, though I was better off–introducing me to writers they happened to know; giving me useful information on the town I was new to; and lots of practical tips.

The other was essentially a selfish family, never to my knowledge helping anyone, always absorbing the help of others, while not appearing grateful, simply because all the help was just a drop in the bucket compared to their needs. I don’t mean to imply that they decided to be selfish; I mean the struggle to keep their heads above water, and compete—for the mum did have aspirations for her children—absorbed all their energies.

Recently, I put my finger on the essential difference between two families. One was selfish, only looking out for itself. The family that sought to bless other with what they had, even if it was just information and connections, was blessed. They eventually bought a large house in a good part of town on one limited income. The children all went to college. The family that just looked out for itself, never volunteered in church, for instance, did not thrive.

But when I came upon that difference it was an ah-ha moment. Was the selfishness linked to the fact that there was no flow of blessings in their life? I thought of other families I knew, who may have had money, but did not have blessing, as defined by friends who love you, a loving family, an enjoyment of life, health, well-being, shalom.  They were all selfish.

Conversely, the families I knew, whether Christian or not, who were blessed with versions of the good life, which is, to my mind, a combination of success to some extent, financial sufficiency, friends, good family relationships, being respected for the content of one’s character, internal peace, were giving families, both on a personal level, and in involvement through volunteerism with the church, community and schools.

It’s the law of the tides. Give even when you are busy and overwhelmed, and blessings come back to you. What you sow, you reap.  But to sow sparingly or not at all in the field of life, means a meagre or non-existent harvest. And the surest way to be blessed is to bless.

I realised that the hardest, least blessed times in our family’s life was when we were selfish as a family, trying to conserve time, money and resources, chiefly because we were overwhelmed. Things changed when we decided to be generous and to bless other people in small ways, mainly with money, but also with time and energy.

And I became determined that we would certainly NOT be a selfish family. I began, to look out for small ways our family could bless others. Lending things, giving our things to people we knew who needed them (even buying a replacement on occasion!!),  rigorously giving away things we no longer needed, storing things for people, giving money, having people over for meals, helping people move, just sowing good seed into the field of life. Partly because one of the things I really want in life is God’s blessing, and it is in blessing that we are blessed; it is in giving that we receivel it is in sowing that we reap.

Sometimes, when one is busy and overwhelmed, one almost has to decide to, by faith, take the time to help and bless, knowing that that is the sure way to be blessed with the time, energy and blessing one desires oneself.

 

Filed Under: random Tagged With: generosity, sowing and reaping, the law of the tides

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  • Believing Is Seeing (Miracles): “According to Your Faith, Let It Be Done to You.”
  • Jesus Knows the Best Way to Do What You Are Best At
  • On Using Anger as a Trigger to Transform Ourselves
  • Do Not Worry About What To Eat: Jesus
  • Happy Are the Merciful for They Shall Be Shown Mercy
  • The Power of Christ’s Resurrection. For Us. Today
  • Our Unique and Transforming Call and Vocation
  • Change your Life by Changing Your Thoughts
  • Do Not Be Afraid–But Be as Wise as a Serpent
  • Our Failures are the Cracks through which God’s Light Enters
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Jesus was the only person in the Bible who restored the sight of blind men. The two blind men called out a simple prayer, known as the Jesus prayer, “Jesus, have mercy on us. And their faith activated a miracle when Christ replied, “According to your faith, be it done to you.” And healed them!
The same simple prayer changes things in our lives, too; the transcript of our prayers often becomes the transcript of our lives. However, we live in the “already-not yet” Kingdom. We often see answered prayer but not always, because God often has a happier biography in mind for us than our scripts, which might involve endless scrambling up ladders of striving, success and ever-more. Faith also involves leaving these worries in his hands.
A recent walk around Oxford—Christ Church and Ma A recent walk around Oxford—Christ Church and Magdalen College in particular, with my cousin, Dr. Prem Pais, recently retired Dean of St. John’s Medical College, Bangalore, and his wife, Dr. Nalini Pais. It was lovely seeing them, and showing them beautiful Oxford.
And I’m excited that my little meditation podcast is listened to in 167 cities in 14 countries. A bit astonished, really, and humbled!
Here’s the latest one, on how Christ always knows the best way to do what you are best at. https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/20/jesus-knows-the-best-way-to-do-what-you-are-best-at/
When we are out of our depths and bewildered, Jesus can take the wheel, and add a 1 to our zeroes. But if we manage to surrender our strengths to him, then he can astonish us with exponential growth, adding zeroes after our 1. And, of course, surrendering everything to his wise, kind Lordship is the very best way to live.
https://anitamathias.com/.../jesus-knows-the-best- https://anitamathias.com/.../jesus-knows-the-best-way-to.../
LINK IN BIO!
Jesus knows the best way to do what you are best at!!
Simon Peter was a professional fisherman. And Jesus keeps teaching him, again and again, that he, Jesus, has greater mastery over fishing. And over everything else. After fruitless nights of fishing, Jesus tells Peter where to cast his nets, for an astounding catch. Jesus walks on water, calms sea storms.
It’s easy to pray in desperation when we feel hard-pressed and incompetent, and, often,
Christ rescues us in our distress, adds a 1 before our zeroes.
However, it’s equally important to turn over our strengths to him, so he can add zeroes after our 1. And the more we can surrender our strengths to his management, the more he works in those areas, and blesses them.
A walk around beautiful Magdalen College, Oxford, A walk around beautiful Magdalen College, Oxford, with a camera.
And, if you missed it, my latest podcast meditation, on Jesus’s advice on refocusing energy away from judging and critiquing others into self-transformation. https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/11/on-using-anger-as-a-trigger-to-transform-ourselves/
https://anitamathias.com/.../on-using-anger-as-a-t https://anitamathias.com/.../on-using-anger-as-a-trigger.../ link in bio
Hi friends, Here's my latest podcast meditation. I'm meditating through the Gospel of Matthew.
Do not judge, Jesus says, and you too will escape harsh judgement. So once again, he reiterates a law of human life and of the natural world—sowing and reaping. 
Being an immensely practical human, Jesus realises that we are often most “triggered” when we observe our own faults in other people. And the more we dwell on the horrid traits of people we know in real life, politicians, or the media or internet-famous, the more we risk mirroring their unattractive traits. 
So, Jesus suggests that, whenever we are intensely annoyed by other people to immediately check if we have the very same fault. And to resolve to change that irritating trait in ourselves. 
Then, instead of wasting time in fruitless judging, we will experience personal change.
And as for us who have been judgey, we still live “under the mercy” in Charles Williams’ phrase. We must place the seeds we have sown into the garden of our lives so far into God’s hands and ask him to let the thistles and thorns wither and the figs and grapes bloom. May it be so!
Spring in England= Joy=Bluebells=Singing birds. I Spring in England= Joy=Bluebells=Singing birds. I love it.
Here are some images of Shotover Park, close to C. S. Lewis's house, and which inspired bits of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings. Today, however, it's covered in bluebells, and loud with singing birds.
And, friends, I've been recording weekly podcast meditations on the Gospel of Matthew. It's been fun, and challenging to settle down and think deeply, and I hope you'll enjoy them.
I'm now in the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus details all the things we are not to worry about at all, one of which is food--too little, or too much, too low in calories, or too high. We are, instead, to do everything we do in his way (seek first the Kingdom and its righteousness, and all this will fall into place!).
Have a listen: https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/ and link in bio
“See how the flowers of the field grow. They do “See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labour or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. Or a king on his coronation day.
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” 
Of course, today, we are more likely to worry that sugary ultra-processed foods everywhere will lead to weight gain and compromise our health. But Jesus says, “Don’t worry,” and in the same sermon (on the mount), suggests other strategies…like fasting, which brings a blessing from God, for instance, while burning stored fat. And seeking God’s kingdom, as Jesus recommends, could involve getting fit on long solitary prayer walks, or while walking with friends, as well as while keeping up with a spare essentialist house, and a gloriously over-crowded garden. Wild birds eat intuitively and never gain weight; perhaps, the Spirit, on request, will guide us to the right foods for our metabolisms. 
I’ve recorded a meditation on these themes (with a transcript!). https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-a https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
Jesus advised his listeners--struggling fishermen, people living on the edge, without enough food for guests, not to worry about what they were going to eat. Which, of course, is still shiningly relevant today for many. 
However, today, with immense societal pressure to be slender, along with an obesogenic food environment, sugary and carby food everywhere, at every social occasion, Jesus’s counsel about not worrying about what we will eat takes on an additional relevance. Eat what is set about you, he advised his disciples, as they went out to preach the Gospel. In this age of diet culture and weight obsession, Jesus still shows us how to live lightly, offering strategies like fasting (which he promises brings us a reward from God). 
What would Jesus’s way of getting fitter and healthier be? Fasting? Intuitive spirit-guided eating? Obeying the great commandment to love God by praying as we walk? Listening to Scripture or excellent Christian literature as we walk, thanks to nifty headphones. And what about the second commandment, like the first—to love our neighbour as ourselves? Could we get fitter running an essentialist household? Keeping up with the garden? Walking with friends? Exercising to be fit enough to do what God has called us to do?
This meditation explores these concerns. #dietculture #jesus #sermononthemount #meditation #excercise #thegreatcommandment #dontworry 
https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
Kefalonia—it was a magical island. Goats and she Kefalonia—it was a magical island. Goats and sheep with their musical bells; a general ambience of relaxation; perfect, pristine, beaches; deserted mountains to hike; miles of aimless wandering in landscapes of spring flowers. I loved it!
And, while I work on a new meditation, perhaps have a listen to this one… which I am meditating on because I need to learn it better… Jesus’s tips on how to be blessed by God, and become happy!! https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the-merciful-for-they-shall-be-shown-mercy/ #kefalonia #family #meditation #goats
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