I have long been fascinated by the link before the mind and emotions and bodily health.

The pop anthropologist, Desmond Morris explains in Man-Watching that when one has had entirely too much, people tend to get ill. They take to bed, and are babied. People talk to them in soft and gentle voices, and give them the food of babies–bland foods, soups…

I often get a cold under stress, and, under protracted stress, get a chesty cough which settles. I was doing entirely too much this term  and consequently was having trouble fighting off my cold and cough.

And so, I cut one thing. French language classes at the University, deciding instead to get a tutor to come to me. And so, instead of having to do homework today, I had a free day. And a very much clearer schedule.

And miraculously, am shaking the cough, just with the sheer reduction of tension and pressure.

In those Should-I/Should-I-Not dilemmas of life, a question I would often ask myself was, “Well, what will I gain–or not gain from this?”

It’s not a stupid, or even a selfish question, necessarily. We are responsible for the stewardship of our lives.

I often add an additional question now. If I have a choice between two activities, I ask, which will be a greater blessing to myself and others?

For instance, I blogged yesterday about feeling over-extended and burnt out. I have two choices for this evening. I have been invited to a large literary party at which a group of writers I have known and enjoyed for six years will be at. I know I will have a good time, laugh, learn, come back buzzy.

Or I could stay home, go to the gym, play a family game, watch a documentary on DVD, write, read, blog. Might this be a greater blessing to my family, my body (writers’ gatherings are winey!!) and myself?

Balancing extroversion and introversion, one’s need for healing silences and other people’s companionship: one of life’s great arts!!

The Comfort of Good Men (and Women!)


“It is true, indeed, that good men are seen to be the sources of no small comfort to others in this world. For if we be harassed by poverty, or saddened by bereavement, or disquieted by bodily pain, or pining in exile, or vexed by any kind of calamity, let good men visit us, men who can not only rejoice with them that rejoice, but also weep with them that weep, and who know how to give profitable counsel, and win us to express our feelings in conversation: the effect is, that rough things become smooth, heavy burdens are lightened, and difficulties vanquished most wonderfully. But this is done in and through them by Him who has made them good by His Spirit.” Letter 130 to Proba (St. Augustine of Hippo) 

Woe to you when All Men Praise you: The Upside of Disapproval


Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets. Whoa! Unintentional homonymic pun!


This is one of Jesus’s harder saying because we humans are social animals, we are gregarious, we instinctively like other people (which is one explanation for the success of Facebook, for instance).  We need approval.  And so much of human endeavour is motivated by the desire for approval.  People at the receiving end of the Amish practice of “shunning” developed depression, mental illness, and died before their time.


The moon has its dark side, and so do most things on earth. People’s approval, for instance. I led women’s groups over a period of seven years. This blog would never have been successful if I had still been leading them. (Is it successful? Well, it’s in the top 25 religion blogs according to Wikio’s rankings released yesterday and it is not yet 7 months old.)


The blog might not have been particularly unique or interesting if I had still been teaching women’s groups. Now I am just a voice crying in the wilderness (sometimes, literally, on both counts!) Some groups I taught had 25 women.  If I were still teaching, I would have been afraid to share my struggles and doubts and sadnesses and failures openly for fear that it may not have been inspiring or edifying, that it may have been discouraging, that it may lead to second-guessing me when I did teach, and so what I taught might have been less effective.


Since churches are lead by human beings (i.e. by sinners), no church gets everything right. I would not have been able to point out where I thought we were deviating from the plumbline if I felt I was leading something and was under authority. There is one issue on which I deviate from orthodox Christian doctrine. I would not have been able to blog about that issue. (And I still haven’t–coward!!–but soon will. I think.)


When everyone approves of you–and I have noticed this in other people as well as in myself–to some extent, you lose yourself. You pretend to be nicer, sweeter, smilier than you really are. My own danger signal that I am acting nicer and sweeter than I really am is when my cheek muscles start hurting. I am smiling so much in a not entirely natural way!


And when I sense disapproval? Well, I return to the healing fountain, to the one who knows the worst and still accepts me. I allow him to cleanse me and fill me. I say, “Well, this is what they 
think of me.  There may well be some truth in it. But what do you think of me? And thank you for loving me, whatever you think of me. Fill me again with your spirit, to overflowing. Help me to follow you.” 

“I care very little if I am judged; indeed, I do not even judge myself”


 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. ⁴ My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. ⁵ Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. I Cor 4


We are listening to the New Living Bible in the car. This passage stood out from 1 Cor.4.


It would be wonderful to truly reach this spiritual level– I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. ⁴ My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.


And when, on occasion, I do reach it, it is a place of freedom and joy. Few people are subtle enough that what they feel or think about another is entirely hidden. We generally instinctively know who likes or respects us–and who does not (though there are always awful revelations–when one suddenly loses power, position, money, one’s faculties etc.).


Being judged by another is painful–because you have been judged in a court of no appeal, and for a crime you do not know. It’s Kafkaesque territory.


What should one do when one senses the weight of not entirely favourable judgement? 


What one should always do: return to the fountain of mercy and acceptance. Cleave to him whether everyone praises you–or no one does.


And what of the painful times when our hearts condemn us (which, interestingly, does not always coincide with external praise or blame).


 ¹⁹ This is how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
 1 John 4


We are not our own, we belong to Christ. So we throw ourselves on his mercy, whether we stand or fall, and whether everyone else believes we have stood–or fallen! 

Alice Munro

My favourite short story writer, hands down, is Alice Munro. I love her jewelly miniaturist’s art, her contorted sentences, the elegaic tone which pervades her work, her sharp eye, her sense of hard-won wisdom, the sadness and beauty which breathes through her work.