Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

Zoe’s very long walk!

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A very tired and bedraggled Zoe has returned from a 48 km. hike with her friends in the Forest of Dean. Well, it was meant to 48 km, but longer as they got lost. The Duke of Edinburgh expedition!
At times, all 7 of them, 15 year old girls, sat in a circle and cried because they were so lost, so tired, and so fed up of almost everyone else.
In retrospect, these times are reckoned a bonding experience!
Amusing, Zoe skipped into my room singing, “Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning,” but after a few minutes of animation, limped out, and crashed!

Favourite Books

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Christian Books Which Have Most Influenced Me

(with links to the book on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk)

General

C. S. Lewis
Prayer
Autobiography/Memoir
Poetry
Holy Spirit
Other

Trials and Temptations, James 1

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Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
 13When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
 16Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:13-17

Sermon notes.
God is a giver of every good and perfect gift.
Trials are just that, as in a court of law. How will you come out? Pure as driven snow, or??
The Venerable Bede distinguished between two types of trials and testing.
Exterior trials and testing–poverty, illness, accident–may be sent by God to try and test us. He know how we’ll do. We may not.
Interior testing–temptations to lust, anger, unforgiveness, malice, untruthfulness, fretting, rage, greed–come from Satan.

Screwtape letters–It is in the troughs, in the valleys, in dull and boring periods, our downs, that Satan lurks, seeking to “get” us. So true!!
“It’s all very well letting oneself go, provided one can get oneself back!” Amen!

One of the things to do in a time of temptation to sin is to close the doors of temptation.

He talked about the coming of the Holy Spirit in “waves of liquid love, waves of liquid power.”
And about the importance of praying in tongues for intercession, intimacy, worship and spiritual warfare!

In Which God sends Ravens and Meat in the Wilderness

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Sermon on Elijah at St. Aldate’s  (1 Kings 17)

A mixture of the sermon notes and my thoughts

Elijah Fed by Ravens

1Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbea in Gilead, said to Ahab, “As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word.”
The Prophetic in the old-fashioned sense. God gives his servants a foreknowledge of what he is going to do. “Surely the Sovereign LORD does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets.” Amos 3:7

2Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: 3“Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan.4You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there.”

God’s way of dealing with his servants.
At one moment, enormous power, and exaltation to the courts of princes.
And then, “Hide in the Kerith Ravine.”
Without the hiding, they would burn out in the prince’s courts.
One might need to eschew visibility to find God. 
The downward mobility that is often part of God’s call.
 Downward mobility to prepare you for upward mobility.
Turning from visibility to the formative desert–AT and AFTER moments of high visibility.
If you are currently invisible, be comforted, be comfortable, rejoice, hide yourself in God.
If you are currently visible, make sure you hide yourself in God.
We are never invisible to God, and that is enough.
” A good man is never less alone, than when he is alone with God.”
In obscurity with God, life- and world changing encounters happen.  
5So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. 6The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.

 From visibility to hiddenness. From the courts of princes to being hidden.
The Prophetic comes at a cost. Neither dew nor rain for both Israel and Elijah himself.
Elijah was commanded by God to go the most barren and inhospitable place with no normal food supply to get food and water.
We talk so much about our needs, “the healing power of social support,” our needs for friendship, for community, and all these are valid needs.
And yet, what do we make of Elijah sent off to be alone in a desert place?
For sustained dialogue with God, the kind of sustained dialogue which leads to breakthrough and transformation of one’s life, one needs to be alone, one needs, perhaps, to be lonely, to have the sort of inner quietness within oneself in which one can hear God’s voice.
And so in our bleak seasons we’d do well to remember this prophet summoned to the wilderness, to a shortage of food and friendship, and approbation and attention.
And he was not the first person who discovered angels in the wilderness, in his case, ravens.
The Widow at Zarephath. Elijah challenges the woman close to death from inanition and starvation to first feed him. Come on, Elijah!!
She senses something of God in him, and does so (despite being a “pagan” woman).The law of the tides. When we give from our poverty of time, energy, resources, money, creativity, good ideas, God multiplies our resources.In fact, the best way to get more creativity, energy, time, resources is to generously give what you have.

Elijah is sent to the least of these in a foreign land.  “That is the Gospel, That God CARES about the penniless, lonely, forsaken and poor,” and about YOU and me.

And here is my response to the sermon, written that afternoon as I was mulling over it.

 Elijah

Now Elijah the Tishbite, said to Ahab,
“As the Lord, the God of Israel, lives,
Whom I serve,
There will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years
Except at my word.” 1 Kings 17
The Lord exalts his prophets to the court of princes,
He tells him what is to happen,
Giving him power one cannot fathom.
Which can make him seem crazed.
And how does he equip his prophet
To deal with the electricity
Of the knowledge of what is to come,
The burden of being thought a fool
Which can belong to those who hear the word of God?
After seasons of great visibility,
He moves him to hiddenness.
Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: 
“Leave here, turn eastward
and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan.
“The Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, Lord?
But I heard you call me to the court of the King
I thought that was my vocation.”
“You did.
I did.
It was.
But I now call you to something different.”
“But the  Kerith Ravine is barren,
It has no food.
No one lives there.
I have heard men tell of the healing power of social support
I have read that it is not good for man to be alone.
I have heard that iron sharpens iron,
That you show each man a slightly
Different diamond-facet of your face,
So that in community, the jigsaw
Of your revelation of yourself is complete
‘Go alone to the Kerith Ravine.’
I might be lonely there.”
“You might, Elijah, you might.
But I will meet you there,
Teach you there,
Comfort you there.
Can I be heard amidst the pomp of Ahab’s court,
The adulation of the people of Israel
The laughter, warmth and happy
 after-echoes of friendship?
When you talk all the time
When people talk to you all the time
When conversation echoes in your ears
And you leave head whirring with yeasty talk,
Can you still hear my voice,
My gentle whisper?
It is more difficult.
You might well be lonely.
But I who created you
And know the secret roots within you
Which neither you nor the world has guessed,
I will be your friend.
I will nourish you,
Teach you of the joy of my presence,
Fill you with laughter as I draw near,
Flow through you in waves of liquid love,
Make you drunk with the wine of my spirit.
I will teach you that though I am a giver
And love to give you the good things I have created
I am, in fact, enough.
And you will know that for sure
When all you have is me.
I am enough.
I am even practical.
You will drink from the brook,
And I have ordered the ravens to feed you there.
Providing for you though what your people reckon unclean.
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  So Elijah went to the Kerith Ravine,
and the ravens brought him bread and meat
and he drank from the brook.
 Some time later, the brook dried up
 Because there had been no rain in the land. 
“Lord, did I not hear you command me to drink from this brook,
And it is now dry.
Lord?  Lord?”
“You did, Elijah,
I did.
And it is indeed now dry.
But, though you may not suspect me of it,
I am, in fact, intensely practical.
When necessary, I speak new words.
Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there.
 I have commanded a widow to supply you with food.
Yes, I know it is the centre of Baal worship.
But I will again provide for you through the least
Of those you reckon unclean
Blessing them and you
In the circle of blessing in which I delight. ”
“But I had heard you call me to be a hermit by the brook.
I have grown to rather like it here.
I thought that was my vocation.”
“You did.
I did.
It was.
But today is a new day,
And I come to you with a new word.
As I will keep coming as long as you live
Shaking you with new wisdom, new challenges,
And mercies new every morning.”
So Elijah went to Zarephath.

The Sweet Coming of the Holy Spirit–“When the Spirit Comes”

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“Which of you fathers, if your son asks forf a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” Luke 11

You know what I want more than anything?

Really, truly, it is coming and filling of the Holy Spirit, beautifully described by Charles Finney and others as “waves of liquid love.” I think I heard Dick Woodward use that phrase for his own spiritual experience, and googled it. It is amazing, and uncanny to see how many people have used the same phrase for this glorious experience.

The Holy Spirit guiding you, inspiring you, directing you has to be life’s best experience, and it is well-worth repenting of anything which might be a barrier or stumbling block in His path.

Hiding yourself in God, Psalm 57

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Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the danger has passed. Psalm 57.

I love how the Psalms tune and sensitise my spirit, make me aware of thoughts and emotions I am barely conscious of.

I love praying. It is one of my very favourite things to do. I love how prayer flushes out and irrigates my soul. I love how I can hide myself in God until the danger has passed. And that is a very safe place to be.

Interestingly, really serious prayer, for me, a serious seeking of God’s face, that kind of prayer which clears my thoughts, and helps me to see things clearly, requires me to be on my knees.

Another aspect of the body-mind connection.

“More things are wrought by prayer,” Tennyson, Morte D’Arthur

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I love this passage from Tennyson’s Morte D’Arthur
And slowly answer’d Arthur from the barge:

 “The old order changeth, yielding place to new,
 And God fulfils Himself in many ways,
 Lest one good custom should corrupt the world.
 Comfort thyself: what comfort is in me?
 I have lived my life, and that which I have done
 May He within Himself make pure! but thou,
 If thou shouldst never see my face again,
 Pray for my soul. More things are wrought by prayer
 Than this world dreams of. Wherefore, let thy voice
 Rise like a fountain for me night and day.
 For what are men better than sheep or goats
 That nourish a blind life within the brain,
 If, knowing God, they lift not hands of prayer
 Both for themselves and those who call them friend?
 For so the whole round earth is every way
 Bound by gold chains about the feet of God.

How I am Navigating Facebook

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I started using Facebook last year, in 2009, when it was 4 years old. It’s an amazing success story, and I do love it for how it connects me to people from my past, from various phases and stages of my life.

It’s amazing–an amazing way to tap the zeitgeist, to find out what your social circle, or once and future circle of peers are eating, buying, thinking, reading, watching, dreaming. A good source of information.

I have 386 “friends.” Perhaps 12 of them are real “I’m honest with you/You’re honest with me;” “I know the true wrinkles and blemishes of your life, and vice-versa” friends.

Some are old enemies who have sent me “friend” requests a couple of times, until I said, “What the heck!”

If the thought of them reading my updates bothers me too much again, I’ll delete them.

Sometimes, you have “friends” who can be hostile. The tone of your posts annoys them, or they are annoyed with how your life has panned out compared to theirs. This hostility shows in their comments on your posts.

There are people like that in my daily life, whom I cannot delete at the touch of a button.

But here’s an old classmate who annoys me by hostile comments on my posts, or her comments on my comments on her posts, (which I am sure can also be snarky). I do not remember hating her, just indifference. Perhaps her reaction to me was stronger.

There are as many Facebooks as there are people. And I want my Facebook to be a source of mutual encouragement, inspiration, enlightenment, information, fun.  A negativity-free zone.

I want my Facebook to be a positive, fun place. I hide those whose posts are consistently negative, or depressing, or vulgar.

And if they insist on commenting in a hostile way on my posts, I delete them. You are deleted, old classmate. Good riddance!

Amazing what can be done by pressing a button.

Would it were that easy to order the rest of my world.

But redemption is possible, for anyone.

Guess what I’ll do if that particular friend request resurfaces.