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In Which I Tell You about a Weighty Battle

By Anita Mathias

 Obesity Influences

Have you had “one step forward, one and half step backward” struggles, otherwise known as the dread vicious circle?

I am delighted to say that, at the moment, I do not have any vicious circles in my life—those nightmare phases of life where everything you do has unintended negative consequences.

You know: You rush, and so you create a mess, and the mess stresses you, and so you eat some chocolate, overlooking the fact that chocolate will not tidy your house for you, and you cannot find things, so you own 6 pairs of scissors, and tweezers and combs and nail-clippers, more clutter, and you realise you are wasting money, and you feel bad about that and the stress of the mess and chocolate-weight makes you sleep a little bit extra, so you are late to things, and feel worse about yourself, and you pick up another chocolate bar and crisps as you rush, and now you are heavier, and feel even worse about yourself, and fall out with your spouse, and feel even worse, and need comfort and order a pizza, which has every one of the 1800 calories you were meant to consume all day. And then you don’t have the energy to tidy, or wake early or exercise, and so–guess what? Tomorrow you will need comfort again. Hello chocolate, my old friend.

Well, I have been in vicious circles like that—and that best way out of them is take one habit, just one, and stick at it, and slowly build self-confidence and energy and gumption. Flylady, overweight, depressed, in deep mess and debt, started an upward spiral by shining her sink daily–just that–which meant washing the dishes in it, and then she swiped the counters around it, and so on, and now has a house which can be made guest-ready in 15 minutes. Swoon.

Consistency and persistence will overcome any vicious circle or bad habit.

* * *

At the moment, however, I am tacking four areas of falling-short-of-the-glory-of-God, not generally advised, but on the other hand, I am enjoying the process of change and am energized by it.

I am waking at 6.35 a.m., but slowly pushing the alarm back. My Holy Grail goal is 5 a.m. Will I reach it? I believe so. This time round, waking early is easy, because I set an alarm at 9.35 p.m. to simmer down (yoga, tidy bedroom, read) for a whole hour before the second alarm goes at 10.35 p.m. for lights out. For the whole family, teenagers included.

I want a clutter-free house, and spend a couple of hours a week decluttering and tidying while the cleaner is here, doing the 365 less things project (getting rid of one thing a day) which has been paradigm-shifting. Asking: do I REALLY need this, rather than where should I stash it away?

Writing…. I am thinking of doing Jeff Goins 500 words project in February. I am sad to confess I did not write anything NEAR 500 words a day on my memoir this month, though I blogged. A lot. Yes, I did!

Weight. Ah, weight!! I have lost 15 pounds since I resolved to eat more healthily in November 2012, but that was 15 months ago. Very slow, very steady!

* * *

Ah weight! I left boarding school weighing 116 pounds, at 5’ 2” –considering myself overweight, since so many girls weighed 100, though looking at photographs, I see I wasn’t overweight, or particularly plumper than anyone else.

But I had a negative body-image—that I was fat–reinforced by nagging parents, so I sort of gave up, and steadily gained about 3 pounds a year since leaving school.

I broke that cycle in November 2012, and since then have lost a pound a month, 22 in all.

It’s not easy, but I plan to stay in the battle, aiming at losing half a pound a week, 26 in a year, and am meeting with a dietician to that end.

Being overweight is a mixture of dozens of bad food habits–what you eat, how much, when, why, where–and exercise habits. (See the Obesity Influences Map at the head of this post). It’s a difficult dragon to slay—because you must put dozens of good habits in place, but it’s a worthwhile dragon to slay.

Health risks increase with each additional pound. Overweight people are negatively perceived, which can drag you down.

And most significantly, just as the self-confidence from achieving one goal enables us to achieve others, discouragement about being unable to lose weight can affect our confidence when it comes to achieving other goals. And spiritually, the Enemy of our Soul will use this to drag us down.

* * *

Dr. Samuel Johnson, was a Christian, and great 18th century writer, lexicography and polymath–though he is oddly best-known for  being the hero of Boswell’s Life of Johnson, a sycophantic recounting of every bon mot which crossed the great man’s lips and there were several:

Boswell: I told him I had been that morning at a meeting of the people called Quakers, where I had heard a woman preach. Johnson: “Sir, a woman’s preaching is like a dog’s walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.”

Well, Johnson produced a fraction of what he was capable of, much of his brilliance flowing into said bon mots in pubs and coffee-houses.

But as a Christian, and an ambitious one, he wanted to wake early, at 6 a.m. and write. This was difficult because he returned home in the early hours of the morning, and lay abed till 2 p.m.!!

But he never stopped trying.

Jack Miller in his Sonship course, which I went through, one-on-one with Jack’s son Paul Miller,   describes Johnson’s efforts.

1738: “Oh Lord, enable me to redeem the time which I have spent in sloth.”

1757: (19 years later) “Oh mighty God, enable me to shake off sloth and redeem the time misspent in idleness and sin by diligent application of the days yet remaining.”

1759: “Enable me to shake off idleness and sloth.”

1761: “I have resolved until I have resolved that I am afraid to resolve again.”

1764: “My indolence since my last reception of the sacrament has sunk into grossest sluggishness. My purpose is from this time to avoid idleness and to rise early.”

1764: (5 months later) He resolves to rise early, “not later than 6 if I can.”

1765: “I purpose to rise at 8 because, though, I shall not rise early it will be much earlier than I now rise for I often lie until 2.”

1769: “I am not yet in a state to form any resolutions. I purpose and hope to rise early in the morning, by 8, and by degrees, at 6.”

1775: “When I look back upon resolution of improvement and amendments which have, year after year, been made and broken, why do I yet try to resolve again? I try because reformation is necessary and despair is criminal.” He resolves again to rise at 8.

1781: (3 years before his death) “I will not despair, help me, help me, oh my God.” He resolves to rise at 8 or sooner to avoid idleness.

* * *

Jack Miller put Dr. Johnson’s failure down to the fact that he had never learnt to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit.

* * *

Ouch. Touche.

My life blossomed in my forties when circumstances forced me to rely on God. I founded a business which I found exhausting, and was so outside my experience and knowledge and interests that I was forced to pray constantly.

And then I began to blog—I who had written careful, much-revised pieces.

My goal for my blog was steady month-on-month growth. And for that, I needed to rely on God. For blog growth depends on rapid writing and good posts, but far more, on people reading your posts, and sharing your posts, and you can do nothing to induce them to do either, but trust, and lean deeper into God from whom all good blogs flow.

* * *

And losing weight and getting physically healthy, an issue which has bugged me since my teens (unnecessarily so, at first)–How come I tried to do it by will-power?

Will power is over-rated. I am done with will power.

I am still in the battle to lose weight, because as Charles Duhigg says in his brilliant book “The Power of Habit,” each change you make makes a whole lot of other, unrelated changes possible. In study after study, people who’ve done one of these—lost weight, started budgeting, woken early, got organised—have found the strength, almost unconsciously, to progress in all the other areas. And that has been my experience.

I am hoping to lose weight as a branch in the vine, relying on God’s power, asking him for it, trusting that he will give it to me.

“Not by might, not by power, but by my spirit,” says the Lord (Zech 4:6).

To tell, the truth—I have never relied on God’s power, asking him for it, trusting that he will give it to me in the area of weight loss, though I do it when I write, for instance, or when I struggle to keep my temper, or to forgive.

So losing weight by surrendering the struggle to God, relying on his power, and trusting him to give me strength will be entirely new territory for me. For instance, I have been shutting my laptop and praying, just enjoying God, whenever I get tired or bored and I crave chocolate.

I will be blogging on this battle. And prayer for strength or victory will be appreciated.

 

 

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Filed Under: In which I get serious about health and diet and fitness and exercise (really) Tagged With: fitness, relying on the Spirit, Samuel Johnson, the power of habit, trusting God, weight loss

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Comments

  1. Bev Murrill says

    February 2, 2014 at 9:09 am

    It’s a battle, isn’t it. And more frustrating as you grow older, regarding weight.

    As to waking earlier… I do wake early, but I go to bed late too, and I read that Cortisol is increased when you don’t get enough sleep… stress puts weight around your stomach.

    • Anita Mathias says

      February 2, 2014 at 10:40 am

      Hi Bev, thanks for the visit
      Maybe weight-lifting is the way forward as one grows older, or somehow increasing one’s activity levels (which, in my case, won’t be hard since I was particularly active in past decades!).

  2. Mollie Lyon says

    February 2, 2014 at 5:05 am

    You have written another great and timely piece, hitting many people’s nails on the head. That is wonderful on the fifteen pound weight loss. This life is always a journey and I believe depending on the Holy Spirit will lead you to the life Jesus had planned for you.

    • Anita Mathias says

      February 2, 2014 at 2:23 pm

      Yes. “I believe depending on the Holy Spirit will lead you to the life Jesus had planned for you.”
      It’s incredible that I embarked on this on my own strength, praying “help me,” but very much doing it on my own. No wonder I would fail in a few weeks or months!
      “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to work and to act according to his good purpose” (Phil 2:13). I am trying to understand what this means, and what it means to rely on Jesus and the HOly Spirit within me, eating and not eating and exercising according to their directives, relying on the presence of GOD himself within me.

  3. Rhoda says

    February 1, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    Well done on losing that 15lbs! I too am slowly losing, but I find I need prayer for it more than ever, and need to break the habits – once they’re broken it gets easier. On the other hand once I have a day where I eat what I like I almost go back to square 1!

    • Anita Mathias says

      February 1, 2014 at 9:55 pm

      On the other hand once I have a day where I eat what I like I almost go back to square 1!
      Me, too. Not square 1, but I can gain 3-5 pounds on a week’s holiday which is a serious setback. We are going to France next month, and I am determined to somehow not allow myself to gain any weight!

  4. Kathleen McAnear Smith says

    February 1, 2014 at 8:42 am

    Anita, thank yo SO much for this blog entry. Having had years of gaining/needing to gain strength in trusting the Holy Spirit for my life…oh, the courage of trusting!; this year I believe I am to focus on healing in body. So, I am working on healthy eating and having time to enjoy the Lord. Jesus is amazing, which I know is an incredible understatement, but I am learning. I look forward to your entries on the weight loss topic, and I too; am figuring out how to get to the love I have of writing my blog. Happy February.

    • Anita Mathias says

      February 1, 2014 at 9:11 am

      Thanks, Kathleen, and welcome to my blog. I know we are friends on Twitter.
      YES, I am excited about LEARNING how to “live by the spirit” and experience the Holy Spirit in this most intimate of areas, a struggle we have several times a day–wouldn’t it be exciting to experience God in it?

  5. Adriana says

    February 1, 2014 at 3:15 am

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for recommending The Power of Habit. I read it last month and I’ve been working on a few keystone habits as well!

    I also follow Fly Lady’s advice often. Shining my sink is so much better than merely keeping up on the dishes! It feels like polishing a trophy! Hooray for me! 🙂 My hot spot is a daily challenge. Seven people live in my house; I usually clean it off two to three times a day. I’ve been trying to strive for what Auntie Leila from Like Mother Like Daughter calls “The Reasonably Clean House.” http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/?s=reasonably+clean+house

    My house will probably never be “company ready” in 15 minutes! But the BEST kind of company doesn’t mind a bit of clutter here and there, right?

    I’ve fallen out of my old habit of rising at 5AM and I need to revive it. I love mornings more than any other time of day.

    Losing weight is hard! I’m following your progress because I can use all the inspiration I can get. I started using an app on my smart phone (Android) called “Lose It” which is basically a food journal, but I can scan bar codes and save “My Foods” to log in the future. I am ALWAYS more successful with weight loss when I keep a food journal. I need to exercise more consistently too.

    Thank you for being transparent about your weight loss journey. To be honest though, now that I think about it, I believe I was first drawn to your blog because I thought you looked like a real-live, motherly, kind woman! Then I read a few of your posts and thought, “Wow! She’s smart and wise too!” So much for negative perception!

    With Love,

    Adriana

    • Anita Mathias says

      February 1, 2014 at 6:54 am

      Hi Adriana, YES, losing weight is SO hard. This time, I am determined to stick at it, no matter how slowly I lose it, because I really think the physical, emotional and spiritual benefits of losing it through exercise and healthy diet will be worth it.

      Also, just as a limp in an otherwise healthy body can slow you down and make you stumble, I guess this weakness could cause myriad unwanted consequences.So I would like to try and win this time round.

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Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

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