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Who can Stand Before Jealousy?

By Anita Mathias

Jealousy

Who can Stand Before Jealousy? (Prov. 27:4).

If Joseph, whose story in Genesis I am re-reading, realised the dangers of provoking jealousy, he could have avoided 20 hard years.

Joseph, his father’s favourite, given an glorious robe…. His brothers, of course, “hated him, and could not speak a kind word to him.”

Joseph, whose dreams are prescient. He is gifted prophetically–but not yet gifted in wisdom or prudence or sensitivity or insight into human nature.

These he will develop in the school of experience.

* * *

 My sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.

Was this a dream to share with jealous brothers?

“And they hated him all the more because of his dream.” (Gen 37:8). Of course, they did,

His next naïve revelation, “the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me,” dooms him.

“Here comes that dreamer. Let’s kill him,” his brothers say.

There is a reason God speaks to us in dreams, when the world is still and quiet, and there are no witnesses.

Dreams are meant to be kept secret. There is power in secrecy; power in containment.

* * *

 I sympathise with Joseph. All my life, I have been a Joseph-Tigger-Kanga who bounds up to share good news—a prize, a publication, a financial windfall, career breakthrough… I often still do, instinctively.

It’s an extrovert’s reflex—joy seems more real when shared.

But is it safe? Not really. I have had things blocked by jealous people by sharing them before everything was signed and sealed. Sometimes, I can see a frenemy’s irritation rise as I share a success—pursed lips, a put down, the topic abruptly changed, a quick trip to the loo.

I understand Joseph’s impulse, but I do not want to land up in a well.

So the Tigger-impulse  must be tempered by other principles.

1) The Golden Rule. Love Does not Boast (1 Cor. 13:4)

 How do I feel about other’s success? If it’s a friend whom I, or my children, don’t feel competitive with–happy.

However, when old writing friends do far better than I—as many have done!!–I am happy if they are better writers, and disgruntled, if they are worse. I do confess it!

When old friends become famous, as some have done, I wish them well, but sometimes find it hard to continue the friendship as it was. Their success exacerbates my own guilt about my disorganisation, wasted time, time lost to turbulent emotions which I should have sorted out through scripture, prayer and surrender.

My joy at a friend’s success is not unmixed with sadness at my own relative failure. So why should I expect greater nobility out of everyone else?

2) Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips. (Prov. 27:2)

This is something I often say to myself, both when tempted to show off, even obliquely, and when I hear someone praise themselves on social media.   

 Russell Baker in his memoir Growing Up, reported his mother’s aphorism, “If you don’t blow your trumpet who’ll blow it for you?”

Yes, what if another man’s lips don’t praise you?

 So be it. So be it.  Obscurity develops character just as much as celebrity, no doubt, does.  “Humility, like darkness, reveals the heavenly lights” Thoreau wrote. Or, to quote Proverbs, “Humility comes before honour.” The way of humility has mysterious power, as the way of forgiveness does.

3) Boasting Cheats You of the Chance to Learn

Christian Twitter comedian Sammy Rhodes satirizes circuitous showing off: “This rain is really coming down. Speaking of rain, did I ever tell you about that time Rainn Wilson defended me on Twitter?”

It is a better use of time to turn the conversation around to the unique individual I am talking to and learn everything interesting about them, since I already know everything interesting about myself (well–until I go to therapy!)

As Estelle in Great Expectations was raised to break men’s hearts, I was raised to achieve, to be Amazing Me.

Ah, the freedom of leaving that behind me, and instead being who I am: the Beloved. To have relationships based on who I am, not what I’ve done.

4) Jesus

Jesus, ah Jesus, our role-model! How modest and discreet he was, secretive even. How he adjured people not to tell others about his miraculous deeds. How he was scolded by his disciples for acting in secret. How he left the region when people came hunting for him, seeking miracles, seeking to make him king.

I often think of what my friend Paul who discipled me said, “90% of wisdom is keeping your mouth shut.”

The sun, moon and eleven stars would have bowed to Joseph, anyway, for that was his destiny. He was gifted; he had impressive administrative gifts, integrity and, eventually, people skills too.

Joseph learned wisdom and prudence through twenty years of suffering.

But his story is recorded so we may learn without pits, wells and dungeons.

  • * * *

 This was first published at  my friend Kris Camealy’s beautiful blog

Filed Under: Blog Through The Bible Project, Genesis Tagged With: Genesis, Jealousy, Joseph

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Instagram post 2187417055488451246_1686032450 My day: admiring a Christmas cactus that my friend Judy gave me last year, photographing winter trees from the bedroom window, lunch with Danny, coffee and food with Irene at Brown’s. Some reading, some writing, some weights, a good day.
I am trying to get back into weight-lifting. It reminds me that life is probably designed to have hard, challenging and difficult stuff to keep us strong. Muscle not used simply disappears. The body reabsorbs it! Muscle used paradoxically gets stronger and makes the tasks of our days and lives so much easier. So here’s to a spot of weights, and breathing in and out through them and life’s seasons, challenges and joys... so help us, God
Instagram post 2186714755975443652_1686032450 A sunny day in Porto and Coimbra.
Now back home, back to Yoga classes and the like.
I find if I get a spot up front near the instructor and next to someone accomplished, and follow them as bravely and gaspingly as I can, I get a thorough workout, totally break a sweat, do things I was certain I could not do, and get so much stronger in the process.
A bit like following Christ. Read what he said, take a deep breath and do it as exactly as you can, and you will slowly find yourself becoming a little bit stronger, wiser and yes, happier! My thought for the day 🙂
#porto #portugal #ilovetravel #happiness
Instagram post 2185957583540871908_1686032450 Images from our week in Porto.
Both my grandmothers, for as long as I knew them, were homebodies, spending their days in just one or two rooms.
I love travel, and excitement, and living as big and expansive life as I can.
But I too spend several hours every day in a quiet room, reading, writing, thinking, praying... And in the quiet room, one can interact the best thoughts of men and women down the ages, and more with infinity.. God, The sweet Spirit, The Lord Christ. #porto #portugal #travel #novembersun #marriage #marriedlife #beaches #portoribeira #fun
Instagram post 2180132061531496763_1686032450 Images from the Ashmolean Museum’s exhibition in Pompeii, death suddenly arriving in the middle of hectic life. Leaving in its aftermath particularly fertile volcanic soil.
When we become stuck in bitterness, when we recount the same sad story, again and again, in our own minds and to others... we forget that EVERY death has the potential for resurrection.
Have you suffered financial loss, financial injustice, completely untrue slander, deep sadness, failure? I have. Many humans have.
Give it to God. Give it to God of resurrection. Ask him to bring beauty from those sad, dead things.
The soil in the aftermath of a volcanic explosion is particularly fertile.
God can bring new life and beauty from dead things.
He calls out to sad hearts, "Come alive. Come alive!" #pompeii # Ashmolean
Instagram post 2175440736861042753_1686032450 Thoughts on avoiding the holes we habitually fall into, and BELATED images from one of my favourite active holidays https://anitamathias.com/2019/11/11/an-autobiography-in-five-chapters-and-avoiding-habitual-holes/
Instagram post 2156925313647782363_1686032450 I am inspired and moved by the story of Dirk Willems, a hero of the Reformation who lost his life to save his enemy, and have written a little book about him. 
It's on http://Amazon.co.uk  https://amzn.to/2Bk9Shl  and on http://Amazon.com  https://amzn.to/2VQOSYN 
Please do consider reading it & reviewing it. I would be immensely grateful.  Thank you!
Instagram post 2156141167803371501_1686032450 Okay, an unabashed Latergram on our first day in Iceland in Thingvellir National Park. Isn’t it dramatic.  And a short blog  https://anitamathias.com/2019/10/16/on-checking-in-before-you-fly/ #thingvellirnationalpark #iceland #travel #beauty #joy #adventure #life
Instagram post 2148813562469383835_1686032450 Family walks in assorted parks and gardens.  On my new spiritual discipline of Bible-walking, listening to and engaging with Scripture on the hoof.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/10/06/the-spiritual-practice-of-bible-walking/ #walkingandpraying #walkingwiththeword #biblewalking #walkingwiththelord
Instagram post 2134504882437551900_1686032450 I am in New York for a couple of weeks, for my niece Kristina’s wedding. We are having an amazing time, and I have taken a zillion pictures, and it is hot. So here’s a #latergram album from our trip to cool Iceland last month.  I have also blogged on experiencing deep peace in times of political turmoil.
https://anitamathias.com/2019/09/17/deep-peace-in-times-of-political-turmoil/  #iceland  #ringroad #icebergs #glaciers #glaciallagoon #beauty
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