Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

Mike Rizzo of IHOP (International House of Prayer), Kansas, guest-posts on Smuggling Eden into Marriages

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Mike Rizzo introduces Longing for Eden  
















Over the last thirty plus years of pastoral ministry, I can’t remember a single instance of a husband and wife being in severe conflict (talking divorce) while at the same time being spiritually vibrant. The disconnect between husband and wife is always a manifestation of a “God disconnect.” In other words, every marriage problem is ultimately a God problem. 

Naturally, we will have minor differences to iron out, stemming from personality differences, cultural backgrounds, and personal preferences, etc… But if we have agreement on in our core values and vision, and consistent renewal in the Spirit, then our one flesh covenant union should never be broken.
My wife and I pray that “Longing for Eden” will renew a fresh vision in both singles, engaged, and married couples. The fourteen chapters are roughly divided into three parts: having a vision in marriage, the importance of healing the heart, and the eternal vision that should be in the crosshairs of every Christian. Please enjoy the excerpt below: Chapter Thirteen.
 “Partners in Longing”
Marriage is the most affirming relationship on the planet. Just to think that someone loves me to the extent that they want to spend the rest of their earthly life with me, is overwhelming. This is a glorious shadow, cast by the greatest affirmation of all. Jesus has chosen me to do the same, not only in this age but for all eternity.

The longing to be enjoyed by God is a chip implanted in every human soul. He already enjoys me; I need to learn how to live with this reality. It must go from head to heart in understanding. This is the longing that the devil exploits every which way he can to divert attention away from the Son of God. Even within Christian marriage we must be vigilant to keep Jesus as our primary passion. Like Joseph’s dream, all the sheaves must bow.  
Married life is good when we’re both sitting at the King’s table. Connecting with God’s enjoyment of us releases a joy into our friendship. Another foundational desire that we have is the longing to be fascinated.
“One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.”  Psalms 27:4
My wife and I have prayed that our partnership would be a marriage of “one thing.” The beauty of the Lord is absolutely transforming. Even “seeing through a glass darkly” has made us different people. (1Cor.13:12) Over the course of his life King David studied the personality and emotions of God. This great warrior and worship leader was caught up with the beauty of God. He also knew the diabolical power of being caught up with the forbidden beauty of another man’s wife. Like Adam he ate of a forbidden fruit. Like that which they sought at Babel, David had already made a name for himself and he wielded that kingly power to meet his dark longings. That’s why the “one thing” must be the one thing. Dark fascination has the same bulls’ eye as godly fascination – the center of our hearts. Its power is derived from spiritual stagnation, boredom, and unbridled lust. A fascinated man does not need pornography; a fascinated woman doesn’t need to escape into romance novels.
If fascination came easy to the average believer, our churches could not contain the masses wanting to get in, as they recognized the abiding joy we manifested. As I look back over the landscape of battles I’ve fought in, one that comes to mind is depression. I’m not speaking of major depression (requiring medication) but of what is called “low grade depression.” Because the symptoms are considered mild, most people don’t seek help; they just plod on through it. That was me over a period of years. I remember looking forward to the end of the day so that I could escape into sleep.
I fought against hopelessness and low motivation. By God’s grace I was able to continue in my duties as husband, father, and pastor. But it was wearing me down. A major factor in the breakthrough I experienced was the revelation of two things: the beauty of God, and the promise of the age to come. Beyond some ethereal world, life after death became revealed to me as a continuation of partnering in ministry with Jesus. My hope-less became hope-full. These concepts made the trek from my head to the center of my heart. The enemy’s attack was fierce, trying to convince me that I would still be sad even in heaven! He’s quite brash isn’t he? Praise God, truth prevailed and the dark clouds parted. In the meantime, I “borrowed” from my wife’s joy.
God unveils his beauty to the hungry heart. His hiding of the deep things is for our protection and humility. The process of unveiling creates ownership on our part and rehabs our damaged emotions in the process. I focused more and more on the personality of God and meditated on portions of scripture that spoke of His attributes and revealed His glory. (E.G. Revelation, chapters 4 & 5, Ezekiel ch.1) The divine treasure chest is unlocked as we seek and search. When I’m filled to overflowing my marriage gets the spillover.  The more beautiful God looks to me, the more beautiful my wife looks to me.
God’s beauty is a powerful force that empowers the heart of a husband and wife to love one another. A spouse that strays into adultery has ceased to be fascinated not only with their marriage partner, but also with God. Think back to what originally attracted you to your spouse. You may or may not have known that it was the beauty of God reflected like light through a prism that fascinated your heart to want that “one” for life. The beauty you saw, the force that fascinated, was a longing being fulfilled. I encourage you to sign up again to be “partners in longing.”
“Longing for Eden: Embracing God’s vision in your marriage” by Mike Rizzo with Anne Rizzo, is a newly released inspirational book that will challenge couples and inspire singles, to more clearly see God’s intent for marriage. The authors write from thirty years of pastoral experience, much of which has been in the realm of marital and pre-marital counseling. Their passion is to see husbands and wives dwell together as “married disciples.” Small Group Study Guide (covers all 14 chapters) is included in the book. Over 170 questions, designed for individual couples or small groups to study together. Author info: http://mikerizzo.wordpress.com/ )




Mike Rizzo
Mike and Anne Rizzo
Mike and Anne say

Our current ministry assignment is two-fold: 1) To dedicate our lives to the prayer movement (at the International House of Prayer, Kansas City); to see kings and priests take their rightful place before the Throne in intercession. 2) To work with married and pre-marital couples; to see the prophetic picture of Christ and the church reflected in every marriage. 

In which I forgive a pair of ecclesiastical rascals, and my soul finds peace

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The Happiness of Those who Walk in Forgiveness, Irene at 5.

   Okay, so I am at this Revival Alliance Conference, listening to amazing speakers like Bill Johnson, John Arnott and Heidi Baker whom I’ve heard before and whose vision, talks and books I love, and Randy Clark, Che Ahn and Georgian Banov who are new to me. Amazing music by Martin Smith of Delirious.

                                        § § §
And the girls save a space for us, and the Rector of our old church which we attended for six and a half years, sits in front of them, turns around, and says, “Oh Golly!”
“I’m Zoe, Anita’s daughter,” my older teen says.
“I know,” he says. “Is she here?”
“Yes.”
“Oh golly!! Oh golly,” he says, and does not sound pleased.  Is on the phone to his wife, disappears. She comes and retrieves their jackets. They sit somewhere else.
                                                   § § §
I had seen them earlier, was bouncing up to say Hi, then remembered my oblique posts dealing with the post-traumatic stress of being in that church, which had been so toxic for me, stopped mid-step, and turned round.
The girls tell me of their encounter in high amusement. I say, “Golly!” (Does anyone still say golly? Apparently so!) “They still haven’t forgiven me.” And feel a bit surprised and shocked.
And I ask myself a counter-question. Have I forgiven them?
Oh dear!!
                                                   § § §
And if I haven’t, I decide I absolutely have to–to  progress in my spiritual walk.
Carol Arnott, introducing the Arnott’s book Grace and Forgiveness says learning to forgive is worth a trillion dollars.
Okay then, let’s put some of that trillion dollars in my wallet.
                                                   § § §
On what point would you split company with Jesus? What is his most difficult saying?
The saying of Jesus which I find most outrageous, unfair, blood-boiling, ridiculous, and sublime is from the Sermon on the Mount.
It’s made me grit my teeth so often that I know it by heart:
Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who persecute you.
                                                   § § §
But, but, but, but, but… Should you do good to your enemies when they sin against you? Should you not rather expose the deeds of darkness? Won’t keeping things silent perpetuate abusive behaviourso that others suffer?
How can you bless them, when you are powerless, and they are not, and you desperately want God to see justice done? And now, instead of asking God to blow the whistle on them, and soon, you are to bless them?
Pray for them? Not pray that God punishes them? But pray for them?
And do good to those who’ve harmed you?
And, talk about going to extremes, love them?
                                          * * *
Phil Vischer of Jellyfish Productions (and Creator of VeggieTales) said he wants to be a jellyfish in the tides of God, taking what God gives him, now riding a wave high, now resting.
Forgiveness is like that. You are leaving justice and vengeance and fairness to God; you are just floating in the ocean of God’s love. Perhaps, your eyes will see his justice on this earth. Perhaps not.
We can forgive if we change our focus.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
        Look full in His wonderful face,

                           And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

                                           In the light of His glory and grace.

                                                       § § §
Ah, no more pussy-footing around.
I would either in obedience have to decide to do good to my enemies, bless them, and pray for them
Or part company with Jesus on this issue, quit following him who commanded me to  “whenever I stand praying release aught against any”
Who warned me that I would be tormented if I could not let go of the ways people had sinned against me—and that somehow my own sins would not be erased either (Mt. 18).
 There is a connection between forgiveness and creativity.  When I abide in the waterfall of God’s love and have it flow through me without meeting impediments of old grudges and old scores, God’s creativity is also more likely to flow through me.
                                                   * * *

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who persecute you.
How hard that sounds!! But that’s the paradox of following Jesus: he turns the bitter sweet. The cross, symbol of shame, becomes a symbol of blessing.
Jesus could just as easily have said:
Don’t hold on to anger; it will make you gain weight.
Don’t hold on to hatred; it will affect your sleep.
Don’t hold on to grudges; it’s uncreative.
Don’t hold on—you will become bitter; you’ll be less fun to be with.
Don’t hold on. Keep your palms open to the flow of God’s love.
So then, am I going to forgive these two ecclesiastical rascals?
Yes, once and for all, and completely. This is the last blog they are inspiring!! I am forgiving them, not for their sakes, but for my own.
                                                   § § §
 Oh, how I wrestled to forgive them, and then suddenly forgiveness comes like a sweet stream.
And if I remember stuff again, will I struggle to forgive again?
 Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers says it takes 10,000 hours to master a craft. Well, it takes 10,000 steps to forgive.
But just as I persisted in the 10,000 hours it took to learn to write well, even though I fell backwards sometimes, and took long, long, breaks from writing, I will persist in the 10,000 steps it takes to forgive. And if I take one step backwards, and I will repent and take two steps forwards.
                                                   § § §
So, goodbye, I will no longer write about you, barring clear direction from the Lord.
 Goodbye, and I bless you with a return to your first love.
Goodbye, and I pray God uses you to bless those in your church as long as he is pleased to leave you there.
Goodbye, and I bless you with the Spirit of Sonship, that you may turn to the Father for the gifts you covet, and never seek to block the springs of giftedness in others, but may instead unblock the springs of the Father’s gifts in other people. I bless you with the Spirit of Sonship that trusts the Father for what you need, instead of using others to get what you want.
Goodbye, you who have blessed me with your prayers, your preaching, your counsel, and even your injustices which blocked the stream of my gifts, made them run underground and come up even stronger. Which forced me into the Father’s love, so that I came up even stronger.
Goodbye, for what you meant for evil, God meant for good.
Good bye, for bringing this sad, sordid and painful interlude of my church life to a conclusion beings me much peace
Good bye, God bless you, and I forgive you, and pray for you in the name of Jesus. Goodbye! 


Back from a Week of Camping by the River of God

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 Some decidedly Pentecostal moments from River Camp.
A lovely little boy bouncing in the mud puddles. Another one cheerfully calls, “Malachi, there’s more water here.”
Malachi. We looked around, startled. One of the themes of River Camp is Sonship and the Father Heart of God (Romans 8:15) so we’ve been hearing Malachi 4:6 rather a lot!
                                                      * * *
Soaking Prayer. As we leave, we heard a lady tell her friends in excitement. “The anointing! It fell on me in the tent. I couldn’t stop shaking.” And she shows them. She is indeed shaking.
I am reading a book called The Anointingby R.C. Kendall, and am very interested in it. I suspect though this lady was using “The Anointing” as a synonym for the Holy Spirit.
Yes, how simply and naturally she spoke of it. “Naturally Supernatural,” indeed.
·      * *
The camper van I bought in July has saved my life once or twice. I wouldn’t have got through this in a tent! Anyway, I look through the camper’s huge picture windows, and watch a woman and a man pray for another woman with the utmost concentration and passion. One kneels, touches her feet. One touches her, the other hand up to heaven. I read, look up, they still they are at it. Praying, praying for the longest time I’ve seen prayer ministry continue.
I feel tearful. Oh, how intensely they are asking. Could God bear not to hear them? I call Roy to surreptitiously watch too, and grow vicariously anxious.
And was so relieved at last to hear the Hallelujah! Hallelujah indeed.
Prayer ministry is my favourite and beloved form of Church ministry—and I felt sad watching them. I lack the love, energy, and faith to press in like that for well over 30 minutes. On the other hand, I believe a 5 minute prayer is heard if you have told your Father everything in your heart, so maybe the extended version is not essential.
                                             * * *
Walking back to my camper at night, I pass a whole lot of 13-14 year olds from the youth group, walking around singing, “Love-Joy_Peace-Patience-Kindness-Goodness-Faithfulness-Gentleness.”
No, I jest not. What am I in? An alternative universe?
                                            * * *
I went bone-tired, mentally, physically and intellectually–and have come back refreshed, full of vigour, and excitement and joy and vision and energy.

We could have gone to Tuscany in our new camper van, and instead decided to soak by the River of God. I wondered if I were being foolish, because I would have loved to wander around Tuscany and Umbria.

Turned out, no, we were absolutely not foolish. 

I have got clear and life-changing direction for what to do in the next year of my life; my kids have encountered God and are talking about him naturally, being naturally supernatural. Irene has had some “life-changingly good” sermons and encounters, and Zoe has gone deeper in her faith, worshipping with the others for long hours. 

And Roy, Roy has had an amazing time, loving the worship, the talks, and soaking prayer to which he went most diligently of the four of us. He definitely enjoyed it the most, as he was least affected by the loss of creature and electronic comforts!


Lonnie Frisbee, the Most Influential Gay Christian in the Last Century

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Today at River Camp, this lovely Irish guy called Simon Foster, who looks a bit like Hugh Grant, walks on stage to preach, and something about his bleached blonde hair, his walk, his face, alerts my gaydar.

I whisper to Roy, “He’s gay.”

“Ssssh,” Roy says.

And then Simon sweetly giggles a little bit. Laughs. Says a few sentences, flings his head back, then bursts into song in the most gorgeous singing voice .

There’s an indefinable something…

“He’s definitely gay,” I whisper to Roy.

Roy says, “Sssh. He’s an Elim Pentecostal leader.”

I am chastened. So did my gaydar gave a false reading?

Nope.

And then Simon says, “Well, I was trapped in a homosexual lifestyle from many years, but now am married.”

“What did I say, Roy?” I whisper triumphantly, and now Roy looks properly flabbergasted.

                                             * * *

Simon Foster has told his story here. He was a Eurovision contestant, and came 10th with his band, the Duskeys, and then stepped into a life of show-biz, singing in nightclubs and cruises, drinking, substance abuse and homosexuality, which he gives up after an encounter with the love of God, and after he reads the Bible verses about homosexuality which he becomes convinced is sin.

In his case, the move was definitely a blessing. It released him to a fruitful ministry (prophecy, healing, and preaching) in the body of Christ, which is unavailable to non-celibate gays in most every Christian denomination.

He said yesterday, “All my life I have been waiting for a man to ravish me. And in Jesus, I’ve found him”

What? Several people look affronted, and Simon laughed and said, “Oh, I see your religious spirit rising.”

* * *

This is how Simon explains his homosexuality  “I was set up for homosexuality through circumstances of life. I had a dysfunctional relationship with my dad, which left me feeling unloved and unwanted. My attempt to connect with others boys at school failed which only compounded my feeling that males rejected me. The name-calling and continued rejection left me with nowhere to belong. 

Years of living with this identity problem produced a fantasy life in which I dreamed of men desiring me. The pull to engage with men sexually followed. The father I desired became the man of my dreams and led me to develop homosexual relationships.”

I am sure he believes this narrative of his childhood leading to his homosexuality, but that does not explain how within minutes of observing his face, his hairstyle, make-up, gait, demeanour, speech, voice, laugh, I realised he was a gay man–or post-gay in this case.

It seemed an ontological, as well as circumstantial part of his identity to me.

However, for each Christian gay man or woman who marries and becomes heterosexual, there are many who fail in their quest to do so, to their own heart-brokenness (and their spouses’).

And I thought of Lonnie Frisbee, the most influential gay man in twentieth century Christianity, a key person in the Jesus People or Jesus Freak movement, who unleashed a wave of the Holy Spirit which was instrumental in the founding, and phenomenal growth of  two major Christian denominations, the Calvary Chapel, where he attracted thousands to his Bible Study, and  the Vineyard, which was established after Lonnie Frisbee asked youth, 25 and under, to come forward, then prayed, “Come Holy Spirit.” And those so filled, baptised others in hot tubs and swimming pools!!

Lonnie resisted his homosexuality, to the point of marrying a woman who left him after she had an affair with their pastor; was sad and guilty about his repeated homosexual flings; was rejected by both denominations he helped found and flourish when his homosexuality became obvious; and died broken-hearted of AIDS, yet forgiving those whose careers and denominations he had established, but who ostracised him and almost wrote him out of their histories for a sin he could not shake.

And yet he  was responsible for thousands of people being converted and filled with the Holy Spirit,  and changed the direction of twentieth century Christianity through the millions influenced by the Calvary Chapel and the Vineyard Movement.

God’s blessing and anointing was on his life, perhaps because of his brokenness; perhaps because his unsuccessful struggle with his homosexual longings convinced him he needed a saviour and needed forgiveness, and led him to intensely love the one who forgave him.

* * *

What interests me is that Lonnie partied on Saturday, including promiscuous gay sex, and preached powerfully on Sunday.

I doubt he was a hypocrite. I fancy it’s like the overweight who eat chocolate, and then preach; or those who have a drink too many and then preach; or those who are foul to their spouses and kids and bully their parishioners, and then preach.

And sometimes God blesses their preaching for the sake of those who will listen to them, as he blessed Lonnie Frisbee. Or because we see the one sin and are shocked, but God sees their hearts, the whole man or woman, and sees someone he can use as his conduit of grace.

We see sin on a continuum with abortion and homosexuality at the far end of the spectrum. Jesus did not see sin on a continuum.  One should not murder nor be angry, he teaches. One should not commit adultery nor lust, he teaches. (Matt 5 21-27).

Perhaps Jesus did not see Frisbee’s sin of promiscuous gay sex as worse than the gossip, pettiness, envy and meanness which good church people are guilty of.

Of all the people he could have chosen to unleash the wave of the spirit which reached the nations through the Vineyard, he chose a tormented gay person, Lonnie Frisbee.

Was He perhaps trying to tell us something?

 

A Letter to an Aspiring Writer

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I am writing this for an anthology to appear in October. And here is my first version, which I have decided not to use. I include it here for those who might be interested.

A Letter to an Aspiring Writer
Hi Anita,
So when you were twenty-one, you decided to become a writer.
If you could have looked forward through the mists of time, and seen how relatively little you have written twenty-nine years later, would you still have set your face to become a writer?
* * *
Oh, yes! There was nothing else that really interested you, you see.
You read that Rajiv Gandhi, later Prime Minister of India, said, “I had rather create history than study it.” And you felt like that about literature.
* * *
 Ah, but Anita, how many wrong turnings. I wish I, having discovered my first grey hair, could have counselled you. Many did —and their advice slowed you down—for advice is a double-edged sword.
Not everyone who has failed wishes you to succeed. The successful are not necessarily cheerleaders. There is a fine line between a mentor and a tormentor. Advice can be offered from malice and envy. Remember Iago.
Accept no advice without praying through it. For the most important, the vital, voice you need to learn to hear is your heavenly Father’s.
                                             * * *
Theories abound in quasi-magical fields like writing or creativity or prayer. You must find, by trial and error, the right ones for you.
You learn writing by studying the masters, but, if you have the ear for it, the gift for it, you ultimately learn to write by writing. Reading and practice, that’s all it takes, though good teachers save you time by the embarrassment of their criticism, and the encouragement of their praise!
Did you overdo the education and classes in the days of abounding energy, when you should have been writing?  A BA and then an MA from Somerville College, Oxford; an MA in English and creative writing from Ohio State; Ph.D classes in Creative Writing at SUNY-Binghamton; more graduate classes at the university of Minnesota. Working with famous writers, one on one as with Carol Bly, or at the Loft Literary Centre in Minneapolis, or at writers’ conferences and colonies.                                                                                                          * * *
What was that silly thing you heard? About connections being the third wing of the writers’ life: reading, writing, and connections. That stressed you out, for you were living in small, boring Williamsburg, Virginia. And so you wasted time going to conferences–Bread Loaf, Squaw Valley, Wesleyan, Chenango Valley, Mount Holyoke, hoping to learn yes, but also to meet other writers.  And for magic.
Ah you had a mental script for the writer’s life, which involved a fairy tale–discovery by fairy godmothers: an editor and an agent. And a happily ever after,
But Anita, good writing leaps off the page. It makes its own connections, its own magic.  Write the rabbit for the magicians to flourish.
Christianity is a fairy tale filled with surprises, reversals, redemption, and happiness ever after. And so I believe you will see a fairy tale in your writing, because a good God who loves you and called you to write is ultimately writing the script, not you. And that fairy tale will include an essential element of fairy tales—surprise!
                                                  * * *
You attended writers’ groups for praise and camaraderie, when you should have been holed up writing. Your writing conditions weren’t bad, but seeking validation and the stimulation of creative people you applied for fellowships to writers’ colonies–Vermont Studio Center and the Virginia Centre for Creative Arts.
Colony life is magic, is paradise–lunch brought to your door at VCCA; organic deliciousness eaten with artists at Vermont, and you read and wrote all day, but oh, how you missed your husband and young ones.
And you learnt that, though long uncommitted hours obviously increase the odds of getting work done, art that flows from a life grounded in home, garden, family and friends is more sustainable in the long run.
·      * * *
Seeking validation, you entered essay, creative non-fiction and memoir competitions for cash but more–the glory. And you won some, including a magical $20,000 National Endowment for the Arts award, $6000 from the Minnesota State Arts Board, travel grants and essay prizes.
But all those successful applications for prizes, grants, awards and fellowships to writers’ colonies and conferences meant that the showcase chapters got polished to perfection before the rest of the manuscript was written.
Oh, privilege the first draft. Keep it moving. “First get it down, then get it right,” is sage advice, but sadly you need to get each paragraph—even those you’re later going to jettison—somewhat right before writing the next one. It’s not the most efficient way of writing. But it’s yours!!
And, please learn to outline before you write. It will save you hours in the long run!
                                         * * *
How badly you wanted validation, glory, and general impressiveness to slip into conversation to explain what you spent your time doing.  You yearned to publish a big successful book to prove how special, interesting and gifted you were. Justification by writing!
But how much better to just relax and be yourself, and be appreciated and accepted for who you are, not what you do.  And prolonged failure taught you this.
If you seek validation through fame and success, you will need more and more of it. Instead, as Rilke says,  “Draw close to those things that will not ever leave you.” Learn to find happiness in simple things: ingardening, nature, travel, family, friends, reading, writing and God.
                                                      * * *
Things changed when you learned to soak in the love of the Father, and his love strengthened and healed you, and gave you the validation you needed.
Things changed when you began to love writing for itself, when you were willing to self-publish to get the work out there, when the possibility of self-publishing made failure lose its terror. Your work wouldsee the light.
Perhaps the desperate longing to succeed had to die for you to discover the deep play of writing. To learn you had to write
As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves—goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying Whát I do is me: for that I came.
Whát I do is me: for that I came, Hopkins imagines everything crying. And writing was you, the way you discovered what you thought and felt. Writing was natural and instinctive as breathing.
                                                      * * *
Blogging was the best thing that happened in your writing life.
When your writing stalled, and you despaired of finishing your big book, and despaired of finding a publisher; or readers if you self-published, you heard God suggest blogging on April 10th, 2010.
After trying to write unassailably well for so long, the discipline of daily blogging taught you to write swiftly and to make peace with imperfection. You gained more readers, and made more connections in two years of blogging than in two decades of publishing in magazines, journals and newspapers.
And your first twenty-eight months as a blogger have been full of stimulation, creative breakthrough, increasing confidence, affirmation, connections and new friendships.
                                                      * * *
Henry James famously said, “If one desires to do the best one can with one’s pen, there is one word you must inscribe upon your banner, and that word is Loneliness”.’
And so you passed up church, school and neighbourhood social events. And when loneliness hit—and you remembered the healing power of social support–you went to everything, and then regretted the stiff forced smile, the pretence of interest, the uncomfortable bored encounter when you could have been home, reading and writing.
It took experimentation to learn the right amount of friendship and social life for you. Two intense lunches or coffees with friends per week are ideal. For deep conversation sparks your creativity. Less than that, and you begin to get a bit bored and restless with just family and writing. More than that is distracting, and you enjoy social life less.
Once you have more friends than you can keep up with, as you now have, pass up group events for one-on-one conversations!
                                                   * * *
“Be patient with the seasons,” everyone tell young mums–but no ambitious young mum wants to hear that. You could not accept this necessary slowing down when your children were little, and so worked, and worse, worried yourself into exhaustion.
You refused to wait for time to become spacious again—as it now has. You limped on with your writing while Rome burned. Wrote on amid marital discord and domestic mess. Ah, but one is far less productive under such conditions—and what a psychological price it exerts!!
Far better to put first things first. Now that you are at peace with God and man, words flow easily, like honey.
                                                      * * *
Though you were a Christian for twenty-three of your writing years, how long it took for the Christian and the writer to be one and the same!
To learn to lean on your heavenly Father, and to let his creative power flow through you. To learn to do things through Christ who strengthens you. To entrust your writing to God. The great laws of the spiritual life operate in writing: Do not be afraid. Trust in the Father.  Trust also in Jesus.


Simple Pleasures–Or, Cutting off your Nose to have more Room on your Face.

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Irene, as a clown, aged 5
 “Cutting off my nose to have more room on my face.” That’s how my daughter Irene describes one of my simple pleasures: Decluttering.The pleasure we get from owning less, from uncluttered empty space, is a simple, easily accessible pleasure. One way I am enjoying this is by donating or chucking one thing a day, 365 a year.

I have resolved to own no more clothes that fit comfortably in our bedroom’s two built in dressers, the one built-in closet which belongs to me, and the beautiful antique tall-boy with inlaid woods I was given. That’s actually a lot of clothes, and I have decided never going to own more than can fit in this space.

So each time, I succumb to temptation on our travels and buy a beautiful hand-knitted sweater or shawl or scarf or shirt, something must go.

Irene watches this process of chucking or donation with bemusement, especially when she realised that the only reason I am donating my least favourite item, or chucking the most worn-out is to have unstuffed dresser drawers.

“That’s like cutting off your nose to make more room on your face,” she observes.

Perhaps. However, though I am just a beginner in the journey of decluttering and minimalism, I can definitely testify that it greatly helps mental focus and inner tranquillity.

Who would have expected such gains from the simple mental health/wealth pleasure of decluttering?