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For our griefs, failures, tears, Christ’s desire is “Let nothing, nothing be wasted”

By Anita Mathias

So, yesterday, my labradoodle, Merry, who is three quarters poodle, a hunting breed, came home from her walk with Roy, tail wagging, and with a present for me… a beautiful, quite adorable rabbit–perfectly dead.

I screamed! I love rabbits, and we’ve had several as pets over the years. In fact, this was probably a descendant of the ones which got away!

Most domestic dogs no longer have the enzymes to digest raw meat, so, frustratingly, Merry would not eat her rabbit. We left it at the bottom of the garden. As I sat in my conservatory, writing, watching, a red kite appeared overhead, swooped down.  At dusk, the dogs went mad. I saw a shadowy fox disappear, a rabbit in its mouth.

* * *

Nothing, nothing, is wasted. The dead rabbit fed the kites and the foxes, as she had fed on grass enriched by their droppings. The apples which we lacked the diligence to harvest fall, and become next year’s harvest. “We are but dust, and to dust we shall return,” fertilising the soil, which has fed and fertilised us.

“Let nothing be wasted,” Jesus said, after–like a brilliant entrepreneur–he created great abundance out of almost nothing, feeding 5000 from five barley loaves, and two small fish. But, at his request, they gathered the left-over scraps of bread, filling twelve baskets.

 

If that is his desire for scraps of bread, how much more with our lives! Almost all lives are composed of false starts, dead ends, practice or abandoned projects, and vanished things—friendships, relationships, stuff, languages we once learnt, books we started writing. A room full of half-finished canvases, statues, books and poems… with perhaps a few shining examples, perfectly finished. Many of our lives look like that.

But Jesus wants nothing to be wasted. I have lived my life and that which I have done…may He within himself make pure, Tennyson has the dying Arthur pray that Christ will redeem all things. So, all we can do is give him the little we have, the five loaves and two fish, and the fragments, the twelve baskets of broken pieces. And trust him… to use the false starts in writing to make one true work; the broken or neglected friendships to build true friendships which might last; to use our failures in faith, hope and love to teach us faith, hope and love, and to use all our yesterdays as tuition for a tomorrow in which we shall focus on the only two things  which truly matter in God’s eyes–to love God wholly, with all our mind, all our heart, all our spirit, and all our strength, and to  live in kindness towards ourselves and others, in Jesus’s words “to love our neighbour as we love ourselves.”

I love reading memoirs, and autobiographies, and I am often amazed by how God uses false starts and dead ends to form people’s characters, and life work. Our miseries become our ministry, perhaps even our callings and vocations.  Unless we too have bled, it is difficult to speak or write words which matter to someone struggling with a difficult marriage, a health problem, an eating disorder, debt, or tricky relationships. Reading memoirs, I am struck too by how, in the end, it’s not the all the travel, adventure, success, or wealth which make a beautiful and meaningful life, but just two, perhaps three things…. to love something big–and what could be bigger than God?–and to live in love and kindness towards others. (And if we are very lucky, to create something that “the world will not willingly let die,” in John Milton’s old beautiful phrase.)

 

More from my site

  • Keeping our Small Boat Afloat: Thoughts on Redemption, Giving up Regret, and my Thirty Year MarriageKeeping our Small Boat Afloat: Thoughts on Redemption, Giving up Regret, and my Thirty Year Marriage
  • Mud and the Breath of God: That is What We AreMud and the Breath of God: That is What We Are
  • At the End of Broken Dreams, an Open DoorAt the End of Broken Dreams, an Open Door
  • In which God Creates Beauty from My MistakesIn which God Creates Beauty from My Mistakes
  • I don’t have time to maintain these regrets   I don’t have time to maintain these regrets  
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Filed Under: redemption Tagged With: redemption

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Comments

  1. Bill Wassner says

    November 26, 2018 at 12:17 am

    Beautiful

    • Anita Mathias says

      November 26, 2018 at 7:15 am

      Thanks,Bill!

  2. Angela Meer says

    November 22, 2018 at 6:06 am

    Wept through this post. Thank you for sharing. Often we want a fresh start, but God prefers mending the broken things instead.

    • Anita Mathias says

      November 22, 2018 at 8:29 pm

      Thank you, Angela. I think sometimes God does mend the broken things, but more often, like a creative artist, he REDEEMS them… takes little bits of things we’ve learnt and done and suffered from all the things that have come to nothing, or have led nowhere, and creates something new and beautiful from them. None of us knows what we are still going to do or create from the broken scraps of our lives…
      Thanks for reading and commenting, Angela 🙂

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Anita Mathias: About Me

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My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

Wandering Between Two Worlds - Amazon.com
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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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The Story of Dirk Willems

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
  • Trust: A Message of Christmas
  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner
  • On Loving That Which Love You Back
  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
  • Shining Faith in Action: Dirk Willems on the Ice
  • The Story of Dirk Willems: The Man who Died to Save His Enemy

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What I’m Reading

Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance
Barak Obama

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H Is for Hawk
Helen MacDonald

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Tiny Habits
B. J. Fogg

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The Regeneration Trilogy
Pat Barker

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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