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How People Change their Very Characters, or Sanctification!

By Anita Mathias

 
 
I have heard two remarkable stories of dramatic transformation in the last few months.A friend from a family well-known in Christian leadership and told me how he rebelled in his mid-teens, chain-smoked, lived with a series of women.

When he was 40, a serious sports injury left him immobile; his girlfriend asked him to move out, his work made him redundant. So he was left single, homeless, jobless, and immobile, and had to move back with his parents. It was his Jacob moment. He surrendered his life to Christ, invited all his siblings and friends to a ceremony at which he burnt his last cigarette, and never smoked one again.

Another was from a pastor. As a teenager, his mother who was dying of cancer, killed his father who was leaving her, six months before her own death. Grief-stricken, he slipped: heroin, cocaine, alcohol, all causing deep physical damage. In despair, he cried out to God, “If you are real, take away my desire for drugs.” Well, God did. He gave up drugs, and is a driven and passionate evangelist, out of gratitude to God who set him free.

Very cool.

·      * * *

How I love these stories of instant dramatic change!

Mine, however, has not been like that. It has been slow, slow, slow, but, nevertheless I have changed.

I had a fiery temper, and over the last decade, have learnt to get it under control, though I still lose it some!! But there is much freedom and joy in thinking things over, thinking about the objective I want to achieve, remembering Jesus, changing addresses, so to say, moving myself away from maelstrom of anger and indignation into living in Jesus, surrounded by him.

 

Roy, though the sweetest and most helpful of husbands, also has a fiery temper when he’s over-tired, or over-provoked–and I used to wonder if it was escapism to retreat to a quiet place of God’s love and eternal truths, in the Psalms for instance, while his anger reverberated fearsomely. (He’s generally mild, but when he loses his temper, well…).

I decided: Nope, it wasn’t escapism. The Rock of Truth is the rock, no matter how tempestuous the ocean. God’s love is steady, despite the storm. Scripture is an axis for one’s life, even if someone has just lost their temper with you, making your internal world feel unsteady. So mentally and spiritually, in family life, you sometimes need to go into your room, lock the door, and sail away into the quiet sea of God’s love. Taste the truths which are always true.

Yeah, that battle with out-of-control anger is mostly won, I believe. I can process my anger with God rather than the person. The battle with forgiveness is not as huge as it used to be. As far as my deceitful heart knows, I walk in forgiveness, fully achieved, or in process!

The battle with untidiness is in process, but yeah, it’s in a virtuous circle. I’m winning.

* * *

So what battle do I now wage with Appolyon? Which, as in Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress can only be won by the two-edged sword of the word of God and prayer.

I believed I had no addictions, after I broke my coffee addiction.

Not so. I have finally acknowledged a embarrassing, deep-rooted habit to myself,  which is perhaps an addiction.

James says: Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.

Well, I sometimes have.

But my default method of dealing with uncomfortable emotions gets quick results. Sad, low-spirited, depressed—Eat chocolate. Happy and high—eat chocolate, which I unconsciously associate with happiness. Stressed, bored, empty—eat chocolate.

Chocolate works; it produces results. It contains tryptophan, which triggers the release of endorphins and serotonin, which decrease stress and depression. It contains phenylethylamine, the “chocolate amphetamine” which raises blood pressure and blood-sugar, helping one feel excited and alert. Its anandamide activates dopamine, the neurotransmitter which gives us a sense of well being. Its theobromine produces a sense of mental and physical relaxation and increased alertness.

There are other things which help me feel as high as chocolate does. I can listen to scripture while jogging or dancing. I can read beautifully written spiritual books which can make me feel hyper and excited: Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts, or Frederick Buechner, or Willard’s Divine Conspiracy or Piper’s Desiring God. Playing worship music while dancing or tidying up induces a change of emotional state. As does prayer.

Or running. Or yoga or gardening.

But, you see, chocolate, or chocolate biscuits, or crisps, or comfort food—ah, that induces a change of state far more rapidly!

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 16:25).

Ah, haste. Hurry up. Quick. Fast. Speed. Words which are death to the spiritual life. Dallas Willard writes “Haste has worry, fear, and anger as close associates; it is a deadly enemy of kindness, and hence of love.”

·                                                                                                         * * *

So, to be honest, this is the humililating “Valley of Humiliation” in which I currently battle Appolyon–my tendency to medicate stress, boredom, sadness, low mood, reverses, life with a highly-strung family with food, especially chocolate and sweet stuff.

And so I am trying to break a habit I started in my teens. Low mood: eat. Stressed: Eat. Bored: Eat.

Put off, put on: That’s a consistent New Testament formula.

Put off mindless seeking for comfort in things which will cause distress later (weight gain, and being excessively hyper).

Put on: stopping work when chocolate craving overwhelms. Changing the activity. Seeking joy in God who delights the soul as with the richest of foods. Exercise with Scripture. Read a spiritual book, some good old lectio divina.

Yeah, it’s a bit embarrassing that I am waging this sort of low-level spiritual battle after being a Christian for 22 years.

But waging it, I am, and I am determined to win.

I so want to change, and taste God, and the pleasures of God when I am low-spirited, bored, stressed or depressed instead of the quick, easy, deceitful pleasures of chocolate.

 

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Comments

  1. Anita says

    February 14, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    @Jo, thanks. I find I understand and accept myself better as I analyse myself honestly here. I guess, in the old axiom, it's cheaper than therapy.
    @Jane, thanks much.
    @ Leah, the addiction to soda is the same as to caffeine. Soda has so much caffeine. It's like a chemical dependency, and isn't easy to break. It's the same with chocolate addiction. I am now trying to identify the trigger which says, “I am stressed, depressed, bored, happy. Let's eat to change the first 3 moods, and intensify the fourth one.” Lord have mercy!!
    @Joanna, you are right, it seems low-level. For many years, I honestly thought God did not care if I was thin or fat, ate duck or lean fish etc. But eating to change one's emotional state is letting food become the Holy Spirit, the Comforter to me–so as you say, it is a crucial battle!!
    @Crack the Whip, welcome to my blog. And thank you for your comment!:-)

  2. Crack You Whip says

    February 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    I am fighting that same battle now and it is my first thought every morning. Thanks for the inspiration!

  3. Joanna says

    February 9, 2012 at 9:22 am

    I understand why this seems like a 'low level spiritual battle' to you, but sometimes I wonder whether these are not the most crucial ones. I read a great piece about Daniel once which said that his biggest victory was not won in the lion's den but every time he got down on his knees to pray before an open window, despite the edict against doing so. I really identify with the temptation to medicate with food and your open and honest sharing has been a good reminder that I need to take it seriously. Thank you!

  4. Leah Atha says

    February 8, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    I'm impressed that you broke a coffee addiction! For me, it's soda. I've yet to figure out it's hold on me & I've made numerous attempts to stop.

    I too “medicate” with food. Carbs in particular!

  5. Chelliah Laity says

    February 8, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    Thanks for being so honest in talking about something that afflicts us all.

  6. Anita says

    February 8, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Oh wow, Mary Beth, thank you so much! How sweet of you!

  7. Mary Beth says

    February 8, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Great post. I have featured it on the RevGals Wednesday Festival. Cheers, Mary Beth

  8. Jo says

    February 8, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    Go for it Anita! Thank you for being prepared to unwrapped yourself before us. You have inspired me to ask some questions of myself. Praying for you.
    Jo.

  9. Anita says

    February 8, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Donna! Lovely to hear from you. I first met you in 1990, 22 years ago. You certainly knew me when I was a very new and raw young Christian:-) Blessings!!

  10. Donna mills says

    February 8, 2012 at 3:13 am

    Anita, you inspire with your transparency because you have always lived to aspire…to be like Christ. I love your heart and your garden. By the way… One thousand gifts is amazing. I delight to know across the pond you are reading the same book that is on my stack.

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
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When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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