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And Sarah Snorted. When our Faith Falters, But God’s Goodness Remains Constant

By Anita Mathias

Arent de Gelder: God and the Angels visit Abraham

  Arent de Gelder 1645-1727

Three white-clad men walk out of the desert, out of the shimmering sands. Such is their calm and majesty that Abraham, the Patriarch, “very wealthy in silver and gold, sheep and cattle and camels and male and female donkeys, menservants and maidservants” runs to meet them, bows low to the ground, and offers him his most lavish hospitality: a freshly slaughtered calf, yogurt and milk, and bread from the finest flour,

It is a theophany; Abraham sees the pre-incarnate Christ. Abraham sees God.

“Then one of the men said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” (Gen 18:10)

* * *

And Sarah, listening at the entrance of her tent, out of sight, snorts.

Same old, same old, same old promises. The son, descendants, more of them than the stars in the sky and the grains of sand in the seashore.

Well, God, that sounds wonderfully poetic, but you know, as for me, here, in space and time, well, I could do with just one child. Is that too much to ask? Well, yes, apparently so!

I am weary of these promises. I am weary of hope. “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” she thinks. (Gen 18:12)

And Sarah snorts!

* * *

 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Gen 18: 13-14)

But perhaps the Lord thought, “Yeah, I am with Sarah. I have tried their hope and faith and patience for long decades. Perhaps too long. I have given them a good life full of richness in the interim. I have blessed them in every other way, but I know their longing, their heartbeat. It is for a son. It is for Isaac.

I waited so long so that they would never doubt that Isaac was mine, and not theirs. Never fail to see my glory in this baby, Isaac. Never doubt Isaac was a miracle baby, my miracle ancestor, pre-figuring when I too would enter human history as a miracle baby, the greatest miracle of all.

But it is now time. Time for their miracle. Time for Isaac.”

“I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”

But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.” (Gen 18: 14-15)

* * *

Ah, Sarah, how you blew it. Snorting at a theophany! Snorting at Christ and his angels! You’ve lost hope. The snake of bitterness curls around your heart. You no longer have the energy, the courage to hope, and who can blame you?

And then you lie, you lie to the Lord, who sees your heart.

But are you zapped, turned to a pillar of salt, as Lot’s wife was?

No, the Lord understood your longing, your disappointment, your frustration.

And despite your snort of laughter, your spontaneous lie, He reiterated his promise, no longer vague, but definite,  “I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

And He did, and you did, and you called him Isaac, which means laughter. Your snort of derisive laughter was redeemed; it became the laughter of joy at your miracle baby.

* * *

 And sometimes, our dreams seem disproportionately enormous, and our faith wavers, and the years pass, but our dreams, the promises we heard God whisper to us, the destiny we are born for, has not come to pass, and when we verbalize our dreams, we almost snort.

And how can you, Lord, bless someone who has so blown it, a sinner, whose faith has wavered?

But you do because you know our frame; you know we are but dust, and so though we do not deserve it, though we have blown it again and again, you come to us; you bring the destiny you have promised us to pass; you give us the child of promise whose name is laughter. You enjoy the pun, artist that you are, transforming the snort of sceptical laughter to laughter like a running brook.

 

 

 

More from my site

  • When Sarah snorted, but God had mercy on her, anywayWhen Sarah snorted, but God had mercy on her, anyway
  • A Very Long Pregnancy: Or, How to Live in the Land of Unfulfilled Promises and Deferred DreamsA Very Long Pregnancy: Or, How to Live in the Land of Unfulfilled Promises and Deferred Dreams
  • The Secret History of Hagar: When God Invisibly Comforts the OppressedThe Secret History of Hagar: When God Invisibly Comforts the Oppressed
  • When, For a Season, God Himself Blocks YouWhen, For a Season, God Himself Blocks You
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Filed Under: Blog Through The Bible Project, Genesis, In which I resolve to live by faith Tagged With: abraham, blog through the bible, Faith, Genesis, Isaac, Sarah, Theophany

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Comments

  1. John Vagabond says

    July 8, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    I have a quiet, private theory that faith is brought to birth when we encounter God for the first time. It lays softly in the secret corners of our soul, apparently weak yet fully prepared. When a strange command is given somewhere in heaven, it is ready, breaking forth in completed power to do battle with our unbelief, shallowness and apathy. The lone horseman takes the standard, rides to the heart of the enemy encampment, plants it hard and proclaims that that which was stolen from us is now being taken back.

    • Anita Mathias says

      July 8, 2013 at 10:14 pm

      That’s lovely, John!

  2. Sarah says

    July 8, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    I have a soft spot for this story – must be because we share the same name! A lovely reminder that God is always faithful and works in his own time – thanks x

    • Anita Mathias says

      July 8, 2013 at 10:23 pm

      Yes, I liked how God has compassion on Sarah for her doubts. He realizes perhaps that they were perfectly reasonable, and so does not punish her for her disbelief as he punished Zechariah who doubted that Elizabeth would have a child when old!

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
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And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
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England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
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Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
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So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
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A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
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Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
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