Archives for 2012

The Panic of Other People’s Success

I wrote this as a guest post for Rev Angie Mabry-Nauta, and I am taking the liberty of reposting it here, because, well, its author lives here!!

How to Deal with the Panic and Futility of Literary Comparisons

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

How The Desiderata speaks to writers!

Many writers—late developers precisely because of their vastness of their ambition, and the uniqueness of their gift—compare themselves with others and panic. Here’s the blogger Rachel Held Evans anguishing about Anne Jackson’s effortless success.

Here’s Milton, aged 23:

My hasting days fly on with full career,
But my late spring no bud or blossom showeth.

And how does he deal with the sad, uneasy knowledge that others are writing more, achieving more, becoming more famous?

He refers it to God:

Yet be it less or more, or soon or slow,
It shall be still in strictest measure even
To that same lot, however mean, or high,

Toward which Time leads me, and the will of Heav’n;
All is, if I have grace to use it so,
As ever in my great taskmaster’s eye.

How much I write, and if and when fame comes, I’ll leave in God’s hands, he decides. All I need to write, I have—if God gives me grace to use it. All I need is grace.

* * *

And then, by 46, he is blind–and has still not written the one immortal work he longed to, “something which the world will not willingly let die.”

And that one talent which is death to hide

Lodg’d with me useless, he mourns.

Perhaps what God wants from us is our surrender, Milton muses. Perhaps he wants to place ourselves, and our talents in his hands, like clay in a potter’s hands. And then he can use us!

“God doth not need

Either man’s work or his own gifts: who best

Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best.

They also serve who only stand and wait,” he concludes

And when he is fifty, his long labour and his long patience pay off. Paradise Lost almost writes itself; he said it was as if an angel dictated it to him each night. In the morning, the blind poet sat, dressed tidily, waiting to be “milked” by his daughters to whom he dictated it.

* * *

Gerard Manley Hopkins, another strikingly original poet, struggles when he sees the less gifted flourish, while he, the poet devoted to God and poetry, flounders

Oh, the sots and thralls of lust
Do in spare hours more thrive than I that spend,
Sir, life upon thy cause.

But, like Milton, he realizes that there is no nourishment in this railing, and he turns back to God for inspiration and nutrition.

Mine, O thou lord of life, send my roots rain, he prays.

* * *

And when we compare our ambition, our training, our gifts to our own output? Or compare ourselves to the more successful—but perhaps less gifted. And the comparison makes us sad!! What should we do?

We turn to God, who gives literary gifts.Who said to Moses, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Is it not I, the Lord? ¹²Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” (Ex 4 11-12). And we rely on his enabling!

* * *

How can Christian writers increase the odds that our words bless our generation, and, with luck, generations after us?

We cleave to Jesus in faith, for he promised, Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him,” (John 7:38). And as we drink, these streams of living water will inevitably flow through our work!

We seek an “anointing” from the Holy Spirit, the life-giving river flowing from God. Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.” (Ezekiel 47: 12).

From our immersion in Jesus, our play in the fields of the Lord, our soaking in the spirit, will flow writing like fruit trees which will not wither. Which will bear fruit every month for food and healing.

* * *

There is a way of stress and hustling open to writers, worrying about readers, rankings, and sales. And there is a way of peace: hearing God’s voice, drinking in his spirit, letting his words and thoughts flow through you. Making peace with being a stream-of-spirit blogger rather than a ninja blogger.

Success is not guaranteed, either way. The race is not to the swiftest, not favour indeed to the wise. Not every writer gets published; not every published writer is widely read; not all today’s writers will be read in twenty years. And not every writer who overhears and records God’s whispers will be celebrated in her hometown, or elsewhere (Mark 12 2-5).

But if you have tried the way of hard work and networking, and are exhausted, discouraged and broken, letting the Lord be your literary agentand muse is infinitely better!!

* * *

Our life and our literary biography is a story, co-written by God and us. He gives us some plot elements: intelligence, education, literary flair, and the time to develop it. We burnish these through study and practice. We can mess up our part of our story. Waste time in depression, anger, disorganization, and frivolity.

But he is the master artist who loves the theme of redemption and specializes in happy endings. And his master plot for creation is a comedy. It ends with a marriage feast, eating, drinking and merry-making, according to Revelation.

And so we can safely entrust our story and our literary ambitions to him. Between us, we’ll write a beautiful happy ending!

Anita Mathias has written Wandering Between Two Worlds, and blogs at Dreaming Beneath the Spires. Her writing has been recognized with a National Endowment for the Arts award; she lives in Oxford, England with her husband and daughters.

The Daniel Plan for Weight Loss and Vibrant Health, by Rick Warren of Saddleback Church

By Anita Mathias

I’ve decided to apply the consistency and the persistence that made my dreams come true in some areas of my life to my quest for vibrant health (and weight-loss).

I’d like to highlight the Daniel Plan from Saddleback Church, put together after Rick Warren realised he needed to lose 90 pounds. (He’s lost 60 in a year!)

It’s put together with well-respected medical doctors, Dr Oz, Dr Amen and Dr Hyman.

Okay, it’s the only life-style change, diet and fitness programme I have ever seen or embarked on which sets off NO internal alarm bells. Not—“Is cutting out a food group (fat, meat, carbs, dairy) even healthy?” Not “Is this so restrictive that my metabolism will plummet, making me gain back all I’ve lost?” Not “Will I be able to keep to this diet and do without so many favourite things?” Not, “How long am I going to be able to do all this weighing and measuring?”

Not—WILL it work? Of course, it will. I somehow know that.

Here it is at a glance. No white devils—white sugar, flour or rice. 70 percent of every meal should be fruit and veg—up to 10 servings a day. Protein for breakfast. Protein snacks. Exercise. Earlier bedtimes.

It is eminently sensible and practical.

The website is a rich source of videos, blogs, articles, information–full of motivation. It’s a 52 week programme.

And I have started.

I have lamented my declining fitness on this blog, so how am I doing? Well, I hit my personal highest weight (is that personal best or personal worst?) in mid-Jan, and since then have lost 5 lb.

My goal is to ensure I lose half a pound a week, or 26 pounds by mid-May next year. A small, sweet, achievable goal I intend to achieve.

You see my quest for health and weight-loss has now become so intertwined with my spiritual life that I just don’t feel shalom, a sense of peace and well-being when I am not exercising, or when I am eating sugar, chocolate, crisps, white flour etc –more than once or twice a week. I feel out of control, as I guess I am. And so I know that I will eventually succeed in this health endeavour. I no longer feel spiritually peaceful, happy, or good about myself when my eating and exercise is out of whack, or when I am gaining weight!

* * *

Success is an interesting thing. It’s a mind-set, a way of thinking and behaving which becomes a habit. Once you have succeeded in anything—any area of endeavour, any goal you have set yourself, you are far more likely to succeed in other endeavours. You have the self-confidence, which is the most important component of success.

You have also, subliminally or practically, learnt to think from A to Z. What are the steps I need to take to see this happen? What can I do today? You’ve learnt to teach yourself the new information you need to succeed.

I am very impressed with the professionalism with which Rick Warren has put together the Daniel plan. I guess his great success with Saddleback Church, and with his book, and speaking has given him the tools and confidence and klout to put this together!

1001 Gifts #8–A May Walk around my Garden, and the fields around my house

By Anita Mathias

Jake, my collie, in the buttercup meadow.

England is traditionally glorious in May—and actually was so today, the hottest day of the year to date

And here are some images from a glorious walk this afternoon through my garden, and little orchard, and around the fields surrounding our house.

I have substituted prayer walking for prayer in a locked room, and am listening to Scripture on my iPhone. I really enjoy prayer on the hoof. Being out in May with the birds singing in happiness, and the fields and trees full of flower and blossom fills my heart with joy, even ecstasy.

I am grateful for the gift of living in the English countryside which is so beautiful, and so rich in history and literary association!

Buttercups with a flowering hawthorn hedge in the background

Looking down at the buttercups

A glimpse of the rape seed field

another view from our balcony

field of rape seed

Tractor tracks left by the farmer when spraying

close up of the rape flowers

Three views of the hawthorn hedge

Queens Anne’s lace by the vegetable garden

Queen Anne’s lace, sticky weed (Galium aparine), and a few bluebells in the woods under the birches

A fallen nest

Columbine under a still dormant mulberry

Judas tree (I think)

Purple asparagus, almost the same color as the soil, sprouting.

A shady nook with giant solomon’s seal

Blogging: The Greatest Democratisation of Writing the World Has Seen.

By Anita Mathias

Stoke Poges Churchyard, Buckinghamshire

Thomas Gray who wrote “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard” was an extremely self-critical poet, paralyzed by the fear of failure. Though he had devoted his life to a self-imposed programme of literary study, and was known as one of the most learned men of his generation, he published a mere 13 poems in his lifetime, 1000 lines, which might be mistaken for “the collected works of a flea,” he said sadly.

In the graveyard of Stoke Poges, Buckinghamshire, he ponders the graves of those whose lives were not blighted by ambition–or thwarted ambition.

But were they any less gifted then the household names of their generation? Statistically, the inhabitants of Stoke Poges should have had the same probability of producing a genius like Milton, a leader like Cromwell as any other town. They did not. Why? Gray muses

Perhaps in this neglected spot is laid
Some heart once pregnant with celestial fire;
Hands, that the rod of empire might have sway’d,
Or waked to ecstasy the living lyre:

But Knowledge to their eyes her ample page,
Rich with the spoils of time, did ne’er unroll;
Chill Penury repress’d their noble rage,
And froze the genial current of the soul.

Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathom’d caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.

Some village Hampden, that with dauntless breast
The little tyrant of his fields withstood,
Some mute inglorious Milton here may rest,
Some Cromwell, guiltless of his country’s blood.

Th’ applause of list’ning senates to command,
The threats of pain and ruin to despise,
To scatter plenty o’er a smiling land,
And read their history in a nation’s eyes,
Their lot forbad:

Far from the madding crowd’s ignoble strife,
Their sober wishes never learn’d to stray;
Along the cool sequester’d vale of life
They kept the noiseless tenour of their way.

He mourns these “mute inglorious Miltons,” “born to blush unseen and waste their sweetness on the desert air.”

* * *

However, with the explosion of blogging, the gatekeepers are losing their power, and anyone with a winsome voice who speaks to people can eventually find her audience, though she might live far from urban literary hubs. Miltons, particularly female ones, are no longer mute or inglorious!

In fact, “Miltons”, who live far from the madding crowd, find a voice–and an audience. The farmer’s wife Ann Voskamp in rural Canada, mother of six children who finds the sacred in the everyday. Or the nomadic Jessica Bowman, to mention at random, two blogs I enjoyed this week. Sweetness is no longer wasted on the desert air, in Gray’s phrase. It can be shared. And that is good, for sweetness should be shared.

Blogging is the greatest democratization of writing the world has seen–and probably its greatest explosion of shared knowledge and experience. That’s not to say an audience comes immediately—it still takes time, and application. However, one can gain one’s audience unmediated, based on whether your writing speaks to head, spirit and heart, without needing to convince a gatekeeper.

And that is one of the many reasons I love blogging.

God can’t keep his hands off us when we ask for healing, because that is his nature. It takes faith to receive it, though

By Anita Mathias

The Light of the World

William Holman Hunt

Do you remember the story of The Scorpion and the Frog from the dramatic film, “The Crying Game?”

The kidnapped black British soldier tells his softy IRA captor Fergus the story.

“Scorpion wants to cross a river, but he can’t swim. Goes to the frog, who can, and asks for a ride. Frog says, ‘If I give you a ride on my back, you’ll go and sting me.’

Scorpion replies, ‘It would not be in my interest to sting you since as I’ll be on your back we both would drown.’

Frog thinks about this logic for a while and accepts the deal. Takes the scorpion on his back. Braves the waters.

Halfway over feels a burning spear in his side and realizes the scorpion has stung him after all. And as they both sink beneath the waves the frog cries out, ‘Why did you sting me, Mr. Scorpion, for now we both will drown?’

Scorpion replies, ‘I can’t help it, it’s my nature.’”

The story apparently is both an African and a European folktale. It was an epiphanic moment when I watched the film 20 years ago, as I was struggling with a difficult and exploitative person, who continued taking advantage of us. I realized that some people cannot change their behaviour. It is their nature. I was wasting my time being outraged. Accept the way people act as their nature, and adjust your dealings with them accordingly.

Someone who has lied to or about you, gossiped about you, taken advantage of you, or exploited you will very likely do it again. It is their nature. If you continue the friendship because of their other redeeming qualities, be aware that you will be stuck with the restaurant bills, for instance. And if the villainous one is in your church, smile, but avoid being in a small group, or in situations which require self-revelation with them. Answer their questions with wariness.

* * *

And sometimes, conversely, you meet lovely people full of kindness. And here is the kindest of all. ^“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” God is good, because that is his nature.”

(And his nature often annoys his followers who ask, “Why do the wicked prosper?” See how Jonah reproaches God for having mercy on Nineveh. “I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.”)

* * *

I have heard a couple of speakers recently, John Arnott and Patricia Bootsma among them, saying that God would never send us sickness. Sickness comes from the Devil. It is always God’s will to heal. Jesus never refused a direct request for healing. Death made him weep. Smith Wiggleworth, interestingly, believed the same thing.

I have been interested recently in how different people have vast faith for different things. Mueller and Hudson Taylor could raise millions by faith alone. Heidi Baker and Bill Johnson have records of remarkable healings. Isabel Allum who I heard last week started off with a rather tedious account of satnavs, medicine, diamond earrings and power tools found after prayer.

“The measure—or limits—of our faith is our anointing,” I read today in a fascinating book by R. T. Kendall called “The Anointing.” Those who understand God’s nature of generosity, of provision like a river, experience God’s miracles of provision. Those who understand God’s heart of compassion, how Jesus found it hard to keep his hands off sick people, expect and experience miracles of healing.

Nicky Gumbel asked Rick Warren recently at the Leader’s Conference, “Why do you think God has used you so powerfully?” Rick Warren, “Because I expect him to.”

Faith is like the rainbow bridge between heaven and earth, between God’s power and our need.

Or perhaps we could say faith is the key inside our front door that opens it to the power of the Christ who stands outside and knocks.

I honestly believe that when we ask God to touch us, to heal our emotional wounds, to heal our suffering bodies, he does. It may be seismic, or it may be the start of a process, but he does. He does not keep his hands off us—spirit, mind, soul or body when we ask for healing; he does touch us, though perhaps not in the way we asked him to. But it takes our faith to appreciate this. Ever more is being understood daily about the interaction of the mind and the body (for instance, in neuro-linguistic programming), so obviously our faith, and our positive self-talk has a role in continuing to seize and embrace this healing.

* * *

I had been feeling unwell, and exhausted for the last couple of weeks. And so, as I went on my prayer walk, I prayed for God’s healing hands to reach into my inner being, and touch and heal me. I also prayed that they would reach into my spirit, emotions, mind and memory, and heal what hidden scars, wounds or memories might have contributed to my weight loss battle.

And I sort of felt his hands touch me. It was amazing. I came back feeling well and energized. The two week battle with a cough and exhaustion was over. I was happy.

* * *

Apparently, the phenomenon of healing coming and going is not uncommon. A friend of mine has had chronic neck and back pain (undiagnosed, perhaps SPD) for years which gets better after prayer, and then relapses. What’s going on? Peter sunk once he took his eyes off Jesus, once his faith wavered. I wonder, if–once we take our eyes off Jesus, once our faith wavers, once our horrid negative sick-making self-talk begins—our healing also begins to fade.

I believe Jesus desires vibrant health for us, and I am going to keep my eyes on Jesus, and prioritise my health. It feels a bit self-indulgent, perhaps, but in this season of life, my physical, mental, intellectual, emotional and spiritual health all seem intertwined. My following of Jesus is intimately entwined with his call to make life-style changes to be physically stronger and healthy, and emotionally positive, and full of praise.J

by Sharon George
From Ffald-y-Brenin

Enough: A Magic Word at the Root of Peace

By Anita Mathias

John Bogle, founder of the mutual fund, Vanguard, writes in his book, Enough, “not knowing what is enough leads us astray in life leading to the subversion of our character and values.”

He got his title after overhearing a conversation between Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller at a party hosted by a billionaire hedge fund manager. Vonnegut tells Heller that the manager made more money in a day than Heller made over the lifetime of Catch-22.

Heller quips: “Yes, but I have something he will never have: Enough.”
* * *

Enough. One rarely meets anyone who has it. And when one does, one is charmed by a merry twinkle in the eye, a sense of peace and freedom.

I suppose we reach “enough” by voluntarily hedging our lives—deciding how much we will work, and not working more than that, deciding how much money is “enough” and reducing our work hours once we reach that point.

* * *

Financially, my husband and I have reached the point where we are earning “enough” for us, and so are slowing down. We are still expanding our family business (because the laws of business are the same as the law of empires: either expand or contract; gain market share, or lose it) but only very slowly.

Roy was an academic, a professor with a chair in applied mathematics, but life was so busy that he decided he’d had enough. He’s written papers, won prizes, been elected to prestigious things, won numerous grants.

The cruel thing about academic research is that the concept of Enough is foreign to it. There is always more one can do–more papers to read, more papers to write, more connections to make, more stuff in a constantly evolving field to keep up with.

So he could do the same thing for another 20 years, or step off the academic treadmill, and have a slower life with more time for the garden, and the kids, and me, and God. He stepped off, and decided to work part-time in our micro-publishing company.

* * *

There can be a treadmill in literature too, of course. Ars longa, vita brevis is an aphorism attributed to Horace. Art is long but life is short. It takes a long time out of a short life to learn an art. If one is perfectionistic as a writer or artist, enough will prove to be an illusion. You will never be good enough. There will always be more to read, more to learn, more practice. For years, this perfectionism dogged me, sapping the joy out of writing.

I have found peace as a writer by seeking God about what to read, knowing I won’t have read everything, but trusting him to help me to write the best I can with what I have read.

And in blogging, I’ve made peace with the best writing I can produce in a reasonable time frame. Made peace with “good enough.” One might not create pitch-perfect writing, but will have a lot more fun doing it.

The editor Ted Solotaroff who read and commented on my essays when I was starting out as a writer used to say that success as a writer is an exchange of one level of frustration, anxiety, difficulty and doubt for another. As it is in any career. The once coveted recognition is taken for granted, as one begins to crave the next rung on the ladder, and envy those on it!!

So to learn “enough” we need to take our eyes off the external ladder of success, and back onto the private pleasures of writing.

* * *

So what does Scripture have to say about when enough is enough?

A few things. I love this proverb. “Do not wear yourself out to become rich. Have the wisdom to show restraint.” Proverbs 23:4.

Jesus cautions, “Be on your guard against all kinds of greed.”

And then there’s Jesus’s wonderful parable of the fool who built bigger barns!! He lives in the future tense. “I will build bigger barns. And then, I will say to myself, take life easy, eat, drink and be merry.

God calls him a fool, because in fact, death overtakes him before he does any of these things. And God interrogates him, “All these things you have stored for yourself, whose then will they be?”

***

I liked the New Yorker cartoon which shows vulturous relatives gathered as a will is read. The will says simply, “Being of sound mind, I have decided to spend it all now.”

There is something sane and healthy about that, though I would not like to die with my finances quite so neatly balanced. “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’schildren,” Proverbs 13:22 An inheritance is a sweet and magical thing–goodness one hasn’t earned!!–and to bless your children with it that plays a part in people working for longer than they need to.
* * *

For me, the only way to learn the meaning of enough is to surrender my use of time to God—to try to make the most of the gifts he has given me, within the constraints of a balanced life–and to leave the success or failure of my enterprises to him.

And learning the meaning of enough opens up many things–time for relaxation, time for friends, time for hobbies. Time to simply be.

The concept of enough has a particular piquancy for me because I find it hard to know when enough is enough, whether it is with buying books, or plants for my garden, or laying off the chocolate, or stopping work on something which fascinates me, or placing boundaries, or …. whatever…

Fortunately, for those born restless, like I am, there is a source of Enough.

“Thou hast made us for thyself, Oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you,” Augustine wrote.

There is rest, there is enough, in Infinity, in God, who has Enough, and Enough and Enough for even the most restless spirit.

And only his infinity can satisfy our infinite spirits.
* * *

And ultimately, one can decide one has enough before the voices of fear might say it’s prudent, because of our faith in God who is enough, and has enough. Read this lovely short except from Heidi Baker’s There is always enough.

What Kind of Blog would Jesus have Written?

By Anita Mathias

A few words Jesus wrote

Well, if Jesus were a blogger, rather than an itinerant preacher, what kind of blog would he have?

1) It would be unique. It’s recorded that people were amazed at his words. No man ever spoke the way this man does (John 7:46).

Oh great. That’s a tall order. And how do I be unique?

By being myself.

Since no two people see the world in the same way, by being honest, we stumble upon the secret of being original, of being unusual.

Each person is unique, as unique as each snowflake, rose, fingerprint, zebra’s stripes, the iris of an eye, or the dots on a penguin’s chest.

As we grow to utter honesty, we discover in the process–unique blogs.

2) It would be full of grace and truth.

Full of graciousness, of course, but it would be honest too. Hypocrisy was the trait Jesus most abhorred in the Pharisees, “who did everything to be seen by men” (Matt. 23:5) and honesty was the trait he adored, for instance, in his foot-in-the mouth, speak-first-and-then-think disciples.

3) It would be a blessing.

There would be life in it, living waters, and nourishment–the bread of life.

4) Would Jesus spend time in gaining readers for his blog, or would he proceed on the “If you build it, they will come?” principle?

Both. He sees Philip and Matthew and invites them to follow him. He invites himself to Zaccheus’s house for a meal.

And the real-life friendships which grow out of blogging is one of its great pleasures.

But I get the impression that Jesus went about his Father’s business and drew people to him because there was life in his words. That he would have delivered the Sermon on the Mount if there were five people there, instead of five thousand.

If one invests time in blogging, it is perhaps only sensible and responsible to invest some time in finding readers for one’s blog. And I do far too little of that…

5) Jesus would not embark on or continue a blog without being sure that blogging was his Father’s will for him, what he was called to do.

He said, “I do nothing on my own.” I think he would be continually checking in with his Father on what to write, and how much to write, and how.

6 A blog written by Jesus would be somehow prophetic.

He would listen to his Father until he heard him speak. He would record what he heard.

6 A blog written by Jesus would be varied, like his teaching ministry.

Jesus used parables and sermons, exhortation and admonition. He taught his disciples spiritual lessons from their everyday experiences. He used metaphor and allegory, humour and satire.

He loved pithy aphorisms—oh how he would have loved Twitter—and stories which, twenty centuries later, reveal fresh depths of meaning each time we ponder them.

He loved questions. His favourite answer, in common with many Jewish rabbis was a question, which silenced his questioners.

* * *

I would love my blog to bear some resemblance to the blog a central figure in my spiritual, emotional, and thought-life might have written.

And how do I do that?

Oddly enough, it begins with relaxing. Slowing down.

Spending more time with him–to catch his spirit. To have my soul filled with his bread of life, and with the living waters He said would flow from those who believe in him.