I have desired some real life fairy tales which haven’t happened.
And there are spiritual fairy tales I have desired. To be able to say: “Some one prayed for me, and the mathematical problem which has baffled me all my adult life: “How to eat less than I burn” was resolved, just like that.”
“I prayed for a baptism in creativity, and someone laid hands on me, and it was as if the floodgates of heaven opened, and all that grace and inspiration flowed, and I began to write as if God were dictating, and I wrote a book in a weekend.” (Or a week, or a month, or a year!)
“Oh, someone prayed for me, and then grumpiness–oh, it vanished. I became Little Miss Sunshine.”
Ah, brilliant fairy tales!
Haven’t happened to me. And one reason possibly is: oh how insufferable that would make me!
If all our weaknesses were taken away, just like that, we wouldn’t need God, would we?
* * *
I have heard other people testify to these narratives, and who am I to doubt them? Because as far as I know, Jesus never refused anyone who asked him for healing. He seemed unable to keep his hands off them.
But healing comes in many ways. I am in the process of being healed.
And this is the way healing comes to me: Not in blaze, a sudden receiving of sight, but through daily leaning.
I have to ask for it every day. Have to kneel, collect it and eat it every day.
Take eat, this is my body, this is my grace, this is my love, Jesus says.
Like manna. Little flakes like frost on the desert floor (Ex 16:14). They appear each morning and are sufficient for the day (Ex 16:4). He who gathers extra finds he has no more the next day, but needs to come again with humility and dependence.
Manna: grace God gives us in our time of need.
Manna: grace for those who can’t do life without God. Manna to be eaten in your daily quiet times to remind us that man lives by every word from the mouth of God (Matt 4:4).
Eating manna. Eating Jesus. Eating his word.
Eating manna of grace, divine strength, through the day to remind me to bless my body in what I eat and drink, and how I exercise.
Eating manna through the day to remind me to use my words like pearls, carefully, thoughtfully, not foolishly venting, so I feel better and my listener feels worse.
Eating manna when weakened by the winds of emotional temptation—anger, fear, worry.
Eating the manna of faith against worry.
Eating the manna of surrender against anger.
Eating manna when I am tired, so I relax and open my mind to the eternal springs of creativity.
Grace like manna, given to us daily in our deserts. Grace to help us in our time of need. Just enough so that tomorrow we return to God needy and dependent again.
Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anitamathiaswriter/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anita.mathias/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AnitaMathias1
My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) or UK
Gillan says
I have had a few of these fairytale moments and they are incredible, but I completely agree with what you have said. Each one of us is a work in progress and God slowly moulds us and continues to heal and bless us. It is a beautiful thing for which I am very grateful.
Anita Mathias says
I haven’t had 180 degree miracles, but smaller ones, yes, many! I suppose he sovereignly works in a different way in each of our lives, according to his purpose for them!
Debbie Chandler says
Really enjoyed your pearls of wisdom. Thank you for the reminder that grace comes as I need it.
Anita Mathias says
Debbie–thank you!
Sarah says
Great post Anita, it made me smile – I too have lots of “fairytale prayers” and some of them are even holy, but God will only answer them in His time. So often I feel like I am on His “pending” pile waiting to be dealt with later – thanks for the reminder He’s not pushed me to one side but will give me what I need when I am ready, day by day 🙂
Anita Mathias says
Hi Sarah, Yeah, you and I both are in the slow, grow season, but God can move us into the Go season any day, any hour.
You may like this post which explains the 4 answers to prayer (from Bob Pierce) no, slow, grow, GO.
You are in post-traumatic season of healing. The season of growth and fullest flourishing is coming.
Blessings, Sarah!
Stuart James says
As a “Christian Blogger” I always envied you Anita and wished I were a true spiritual blogger as you are.
Anita Mathias says
Ah, you just have to decide to be one to be one.
I am actually just working out my spiritual life on my blog. I am that kind of person who sees things more clearly if I write them down, and I think and analyse more deeply if I am writing things down.
Missing you in blogland!
Glo says
A beautiful reminder 🙂
Anita Mathias says
Hey,Glo, thanks:-)
LA says
I think, too, that our modern culture conditions us to expect a solution quickly. Psychologists sometimes call it the sitcom syndrome. We have grown up in the culture of TV shows that solve problems inside a 30 minute show and drive up windows and if you have to wait for your computer to think, it’s too old, buy a new one. We have conditioned ourselves to expect fast answers, fast grace if you will. Come on, after all, God is omnipotent, can’t he crank out that miracle faster than my computer?? But you’re right…he feeds it to us slowly…as our lives should be…thank you for reminding us to slow down and enjoy our meal of grace.
Anita Mathias says
Yeah, if he answered all my prayers I would be A) very tired. Because I would have achieved so many ambitions, and be in the thick of achieving so many more. B) I would not feel the need of him. I would be sweet-tempered, very fit, very wise, and so would not have to slow down enough to enjoy the mystery and magic of his presence, to just dance with him!
Lynda Alsford says
Lovely post again Anita. The only way we can learn to live day by day in the grace of God is to live day by day in the grace of God! Love the idea of it being manna. How many times have I wanted a quick fix – too many to count!
Anita Mathias says
I guess the Lord himself is the gift, not the answers we so want, and perhaps the “not yets” that he says to us keep us searching, searching…