I had a fascinating conversation over a church lunch with a retired British missionary who had worked in Indonesia for 45 years. He had a boyish smile, and sparkling eyes.
At an age at which most people have two or three major subjects of conversation—their health; their children and grandchildren; or the general decay of the country, and universe–he was sprightly, talking of Skype conversations with people he is mentoring; of reading the Bible in three languages; of hosting Indonesians, and cooking them Indonesian food.
I enjoyed talking to him, and realised that loving Jesus is the best retirement plan. That to arrive at old age with a heart full of love for God, for Jesus, for the Spirit, for Scripture, and for people is the best investment.
I also realised to my shame that I had been single-handed instead of single-hearted in following Jesus. Part of me sought Jesus, and part of my heart was distracted with writing, something in which I have not been particularly successful—yet. The Chinese have a proverb, “He who chases two rabbits catches neither.” Sometimes, when you chase Jesus with one hand, and chase success with the other, God does not bless the latter to help you pursue what is important with both hands, and an undivided heart.
While work you love is certainly an excellent asset for old age, it is not as heart and soul-filling as friendship with Jesus. It does not surpass a relationship with the Father who “takes great delight in you, who quiets you with his love, who rejoices over you with singing.” (Zeph 3:17)
Talking to my new friend, I resolved again to try to be an apprentice of Jesus, to follow Him with my whole heart, to go through the narrow door into the vast starry world beyond with Jesus, and who knows, I may very well find there the other things my distracted heart had wanted.
An apprentice of Jesus, that’s what Dallas Willard calls a Christian, and that apprenticeship is both a life of excitement, and a unique path for each apprentice.
And I realised again that our greatest contribution may well be who we are, not what we do. A wise person, a good person, a person who knows God, a person with a heart full of love and kindness, whom you feel better, and course-corrected after a short conversation with—being such a person is a greater contribution to the world that anything we might do!
“The great paradox of our lives is that while we are often concerned about what we do or still can do, we are most likely to be remembered for who we were. If it was the Spirit who guided our lives, that will not die. Our doing brings success, but our being bears fruit.” Henri Nouwen
Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
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My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) or UK
Janet Rowland says
What a wonderful message, thank you! Very timely for me. Thank you for continuing to share with us.
Anita Mathias says
And thank you for reading, Janet. I do appreciate your encouragement, and your friendship!
Freda says
It is always wonderful to meet with people who have a wide interest in people and their welfare. A lesson to us all. Henri Nouwen’s writings are very special. Blessings from Dalamory.
Anita Mathias says
I need to read more of them. I have “The Life of the Beloved” on the go, and find it so deep, and rich and true!
Mollie Lyon says
This was my devotional theme this morning, in many ways. The last one was from a little book I bought at the Dollar Store in 2004 with teachings from Andrew Murray. My great mission, my life work, is the same as Jesus Christ’s, to be an intercessor. I was distracted by disappointment and now my prayer group is starting up for the summer tomorrow. Other verses were Psalm 37:4 and Psalm 20:4. And is was no mistake I read your post this morning.
Anita Mathias says
“My great mission, my life work, is the same as Jesus Christ’s, to be an intercessor.”
How amazing! It is a great life work, and does take great humility. I feel called to learn to pray continually, but don’t think being an intercessor is my call. I will bother you with my big prayer requests, Mollie!