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On Success and Failure and Accessing God’s Zany, Left-Field Ideas

By Anita Mathias

File:Prise de Jéricho.jpg

 I’ve had a bit of a nose-to-the-grindstone month, trying to outline a book.This was difficult as I’ve already written and fine-tuned the last third of the book, and have a first draft of the first two-thirds.However, I had written the chapters topically, dealing with each subject which interested me, but am now publishing with a hybrid publisher who suggested I send in an outline.

I think that a post facto outline would help me with a logical shape of the book, deciding which chapter goes where; which should be combined; the significance and importance of each chapter in the grand scheme of things, and, most importantly how much space I should give each chapter if I want the book to be no more than 350 pages. Also, in outlining, consistent organic themes and metaphors emerge.

I shelved the book 7 years ago, and when you have left a piece of writing that long, it’s easier to rewrite it than revise it because “style is the man,” (or woman).  You write who and how and what you are. Besides, your interests, priorities and sense of what is important and interesting change.

I start re-reading my mass of notes and outlining on April 10th, and finally I have an outline. Just have to make sure it makes sense to a reader, and will send it in today.

“Don’t spend too long,” Roy says, “It’s a single use document.” “A single use document:” that’s a strange concept for a perfectionistic writer.

* * *

This is a story of success and failure. I failed in outlining that book quickly. I got tired, I got bored, I have long ago hit that dreaded state of diminishing returns where, tiredness increasing, you get less and less done in each writing session. The right thing to do then is to take a couple of days off, go away if you can, and just walk and sleep. But heck, I felt stressed about being behind, and couldn’t do that.

If I had asked God from the start about the quickest way to do it, and surrendered and soaked and saturated it in prayer, would doing my outline have been quicker? Without a doubt.

And it is not too late to do that now, for the last day that I’m working on this outline.

* * *

However, in God’s mercy, I have had corresponding success, during these 6 weeks which compensates for the failure.

I took up blogging three years ago, after hearing God’s direction. I did not feel comfortable just letting my blog languish while I did that outline. Reading a blog is a habit, and once people get out of the habit of reading yours, perhaps they won’t return (judging by myself). And besides, you yourself will have got out of the habit of capturing your thoughts and life in words.

So I did a sort of schedule shift. I prayed and listened to scripture on my iPod as I walked.  And in my normal quiet time, I prayed and wrote.  Writing became part of my prayer and worship for the first time ever.

And this was a seismic shift in my writing.

Instead of exploring what I thought about things, I prayed and tried to hear what Christ might think about those things. I strictly limited my blogging to 90 minutes a day, and sometimes prayed about, and drafted a post over several days. I have written about  the Cwmbran revival, a prolonged failure in my writing life, anger, forgiving the dragons of my youth, what I hear Christ say about the sometimes strident pro-life movement, what I hear Christ say to those who struggle with their weight.

And in this month, in which I limited my time spent on blogging, and stopped  working out my thoughts, and tried to listen Christ’s thoughts, my blog has risen to its highest ever on every metric: unique monthly visitors, page views, facebook fans, twitter followers etc. And with the fewest posts ever.

Each time I throw up my hands in despair, and ask God for his wisdom on how to do things, I am astounded by the results. It makes me yearn to do this in every area of my life.

* * *

Zoe reminded me yesterday that I had told her that Martin Luther normally prayed for two hours, but prayed for three hours when he was abnormally busy. I guess he had learnt to pray in a way which accessed God’s wisdom. In prayer he was what was inessential, in prayer, God showed him better ways of doing things.

* * *

When an idea comes from God, it is: Beautifully simple. Something we would never have thought of, and never had the guts to think of. Bigger than what we would have dreamed of. Both so clever, that we could never have thought of it—and, sometimes, apparently so nuts that, ditto, we would never have thought of it.

 As I said, I am listening to whole swathes of scripture as I walk preparing for my pilgrimage in the hills of Tuscany in September. I listened to the book of Joshua yesterday.

And this was how God decided to hand over the ancient fortified city of Jericho to Joshua.: March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse.” (Joshua 6).

Who would have thought, huh? Perhaps the trampling, the shouting, the racket of the shofar, created powerful sound waves and mechanical and acoustic resonance, which weakened and then destroyed the foundations. Perhaps it was sheerly miraculous. Either way, the walls fell down in a way no human being could have thought of.

 

Similarly, the strategy God gave Gideon was zany, and brilliant, and what terrified Gideon would never have thought of. He goes with just 300 men so that it is going to be abundantly clear that the victory was given to him by the Lord. The men have trumpets and torches in clay jars, and surround the Midianite camp at night. At a signal, they smash their clay jars, blow their trumpets, and shout. The effect of the flashing torches, the trumpets, the shouting was bewildering to the just-roused Midianites especially since there were normally just a few trumpeters in each army. The groggy army is slaughtered. (Judges 7)

A brilliant strategy, totally from left-field, and not one Gideon would have thought of.

It increases my longing to rely on God for ideas, both in the areas in which I am at a loss—how to do a left-brain outline quickly, how to find readers for my little blog, how to lose weight.

And I want to hear him in the areas of my life which are working well, in which I think I do know how to proceed, but, by proceeding on my own wisdom and strength, I am only getting second best-because God’s zany, left-field strategies are guaranteed to far surpass mine in brilliance and simplicity.

 

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Filed Under: In which I explore writing and blogging and creativity, In which I play in the fields of prayer, Writing and Blogging Tagged With: accessing God's wisdom, blogging, gideon, hearing God, joshua, writing

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Comments

  1. Claudia says

    May 22, 2013 at 5:24 am

    I find writing prayers, writing TO God rather than what I think ABOUT God is really helpful to me at times too. Having said that, it’s not a discipline I do all the time, only for times and seasons.

    • Anita Mathias says

      May 23, 2013 at 11:14 pm

      Yes, and I also find working out my anger with God, rather than with the person, so much more helpful (and less destructive!)

  2. Les Norman says

    May 20, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    There is a lot for us to learn in what you have written today. You send us back to Jesus and away from ourselves. Thank you Anita.

    • Anita Mathias says

      May 20, 2013 at 5:01 pm

      Thank you, Les. I wish I had prayed and committed the first writing task to Jesus from the start, but I hope I have now learned the importance of doing so!

  3. Heather Caliri says

    May 20, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Anita, thank you for this. Just this week I’ve been experiencing how I can shift my effort–ask God before I do things, do them in His power. It’s one of those things I’ve been hearing about my whole Christian life and yet never really understood. I’m a newborn in this practice, but I have this hunch that it is going to transform _everything_.

    • Anita Mathias says

      May 20, 2013 at 5:03 pm

      Yes, learning to relax and do things in God’s power is the spiritual secret of the saints. It’s something I keep forgetting and relearning. One day…

      • Heather Caliri says

        May 20, 2013 at 6:19 pm

        We will all journey in His power on that great, blessed morn. And we will fly!

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My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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The Story of Dirk Willems

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
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  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner
  • On Loving That Which Love You Back
  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
  • Shining Faith in Action: Dirk Willems on the Ice
  • The Story of Dirk Willems: The Man who Died to Save His Enemy

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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