Thomas Merton
I enjoyed Michael Ward of Planet Narnia’s lecture on C. S. Lewis at Wycliffe College’s Summer School.
Rilke faced with the Archaic Torso of Apollo, with sheer beauty, feels he has wasted his life. His poem ends “You must revise your life.”
I feel like that when I consider that the richness of Lewis’s writing sprang from a lifetime of reading of poetry, myth, literature, the Bible. A life in books.
But then I remember that the world already has a Lewis. That the way for me to find my unique contribution as a writer, “be it less or more, or soon or slow,” is to be myself, to be the woman called forth by the unique circumstances of my life.
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Thomas Merton writes that many writers fail to be really great for the same reason that many Christians fail to be really great Christians. They imitate other people’s poetry or spirituality instead of being the woman called for by all the unique circumstances of their lives. They compromise their integrity.
Many poets are not poets for the same reason that many religious men are not saints: they never succeed in being themselves. They never get around to being the particular poet or the particular monk they are intended to be by God. They never become the man or the artist who is called for by all the circumstances of their individual lives.
They waste their years in vain efforts to be some other poet, some other saint.
They wear out their bodies and minds in a hopeless endeavour to have somebody else’s experiences, or write somebody else’s poems, or possess somebody else’s spirituality.
There can be an intense egoism in following everybody else. People are in a hurry to magnify themselves by imitating what is popular—and too lazy to think of anything better.
Hurry ruins saints as well as artists. They want quick success and they are in such haste to get it that they cannot take time to be true to themselves.
( Thomas Merton, Integrity, New Seeds of Contemplation).
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It’s all very counter-intuitive. In the blogosphere, one is tempted to write in the same way and on the same themes as bloggers who are succeeding.
Sometimes, I come across several bloggers who write in the same distinctive style, and on similar subjects. And while fitting in with the cool kids in style or subject matter will give you short term success, it will affect your long term success, because you will be suppressing the real you—your unique take on the world, your beauty and ugliness, the secret little experiences, obsessions, preoccupations and convictions which are shared by no one else.
If I had heard that lecture on the literary influences of C. S. Lewis when I was younger, I would have left on fire to read more and write more. And these are good, but now I do not exhort myself to do these particularly. Burnouts and middle-age have left me eager to work in a slow and steady sustainable way. I want to finish the work God has given me to do by the end, not necessarily the middle of my life.
So the counter-intuitive way to success as a blogger or writer is to read the great writers, let your thinking be transformed by them, pick up their themes if they resonate deeply with you, but, above all, be yourself.
If you are a kingfisher, flash fire. If you are a dragonfly, draw flame.If you are a writer or a blogger, be yourself.Be the writer or the blogger called forth by all the circumstances of your life. Write in the way that comes naturally to you, about the experiences your life gives you, and your interests and preoccupations. And, to your own surprise perhaps, you will have stumbled upon the secret of originality, even uniqueness.
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Let me offer you a favourite passage from Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet.
Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.
This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must,” then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your while life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.
Then come close to Nature. Then, as if no one had ever tried before, try to say what you see and feel and love and lose. So rescue yourself from general themes and write about what your everyday life offers you; describe your sorrows and desires, the thoughts that pass through your mind and your belief in some kind of beauty – describe all these with heartfelt, silent, humble sincerity and, when you express yourself, use the Things around you, the images from your dreams, and the objects that you remember.
If your everyday life seems poor, don’t blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is not poverty and no poor, indifferent place. And even if you found yourself in some prison, whose walls let in none of the world’s sounds – wouldn’t you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, that treasure house of memories? Turn your attentions to it.
Try to raise up the sunken feelings of this enormous past; your personality will grow stronger, your solitude will expand and become a place where you can live in the twilight, where the noise of other people passes by, far in the distance. And if out of this turning-within, out of this immersion in your own world, poems come, then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not. For you will see them as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it.
Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
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My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) or UK
Emma, if we're toenails, at least we are beautifully painted, alive and growing!!
Thank you Anita – much wisdom and encouragement, especially on finding our own voices instead of comparing our writing to other people. I only started writing when I gave up on trying to write like the people I admired; I'll never be CS Lewis, but if he's a heart in the writing body, I can be a toenail!
Thanks for reading. Enjoy your house guests.
That's really helpful and thought-provoking. My instinct as an off-the-scale introvert is usually to be quiet and conceal but that can be quite stifling.There is so much truth in that maxim you quote, I think. Thank you for giving me much to reflect on!
Hi Joanna,
Difficult one. My natural instinct as a writer is to write memoir, autobiographies and essays, so sharing (over-sharing?) comes more naturally to me.
So the distinction between private and public has been blurring for me over 2.5 years of blogging/Facebooking.
There is a writing maxim, “The instinct to conceal should be a signal to reveal.” Our most interesting material can come out of what we are tempted to conceal.
As Christians, everything hidden will one day be revealed, in public. There is something immensely therapeutic about living more like an open book, without secrets, masks and pretences.
We lose very little by sharing our real selves online. If anything, it strengthens our real life relationships.
This is for ordinary people. For politicians, vicars, or people with high position and power, it may be different.
I keep some secrets, of course, but often think, “This shows me in a bad light. So what? I am not perfect; why pretend I am?”
This is just beautiful, Anita. Thank you so much. That Rilke quote is amazing, just amazing. The thing I struggle with about blogging, though, is putting the kind of thoughts he writes about 'out there'. It is one thing to process one's experiences in a private journal; quite another to put them where anyone could see them. Do you have any thoughts on that?
Oh I stalk/read your blog too, but am not a good commentator, MOLLIE. Am so glad you're enjoying blogging. We have house guests for the next 4 days, so I hope I'll be able to keep up with the blog:-)
I was admiring your blog as I commented on your last post. I thought should I write more on theological matters, like Anita. My heart is there. But I answered,”No, I must write stories. I feel that is where God has called me.”
Writer, to thine own self be true.
Even though that big pond separates us, I feel so often we are on the same wave length. I'm not copying, truly! I'm not a stalker, either.
Susan and Gisela, thank you so much for your sweet and encouraging comments:-). And God bless your writing!
Thank you so much for this reflections.
As an aspiring writer, who has been “aspiring” for many years, I appreciate the advice on the need to finding your voice.
You are so right when saying that merely imitating others may produce early fruit but not a sustainable crop.
It was a great reminder and a gentle charge to “do our thing” be it as it may. The Lord has given all different gifts. Let's discover our own.
thank you again.
You describe a beautiful life, to me… a life many of us don't realize exists. And me, I'm arriving only lately.
Recently I asked an Indian holy man what it means to be holy. His reply was, “When a person is happy with who they are, that is holiness.”
To be comfortable with who we are, means we also allow people the grace to be who they are. It makes for a peaceful world, I think.
I wonder why more people don't realize this…but then it's taken me multiple burnouts, crashes, and stalls to finally arrive at the beginning of this path!
I truly love your writing, your heart – thanks!