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Epiphanies and Revelations

By Anita Mathias

Peacock with its Tail Fanned Out Photographic Print
Well, today, January 6th, is the feast of the Epiphany, or the Revelation of Christ to the Gentiles.
Epiphany, epi-to, phainein—show, reveal, manifest. The word used for the moment when a peacock suddenly unfurls his magnificent tail, and we see the full, hitherto hidden glory.
                                                                                         * * *
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2)
How has the ongoing process of transformation worked for me?  Grace and Epiphanies.
How exactly I changed, I cannot put my finger on, but I see that I have. I was vengeful, but now I am not. I was easily angered, but now I am not, unless I grow tired and weary. I was judgmental, but now I am not, particularly, unless I grow tired and weary! I wrote off people rapidly, but now I do not do so. And so on.
Some of this change is because of the grace of God, freely given. God’s invisible loving radiation working on my soul. I spend an hour a day sitting and basking in God’s presence. I sometimes get distracted, sometimes feel bored, sometimes feel as dry and restless as a stick in the wind.
And I sometimes feel strong currents of grace and love and power invade my soul.
Perhaps the change in one’s inner being comes from the process of basking in the sun of God’s love, which warms this dull brown cold-blooded chameleon, turning her all the known colours of the chameleon–pink, blue, red, orange, green, yellow, turquoise and purple!!
·                                                                                               * * *
But much of the change in me has occurred through epiphanies.
I see something, and I see it clearly, and it changes how I think, feel and act.
Reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts has been epiphanic. Live in the present, give thanks in everything. This totally changes your attitude and your emotions.
Two instances: We had a glorious retreat in Wales, filled with God’s presence. And then a peaceful, glorious week at home in Oxford for Christmas. Then we had booked a week in London between Christmas and New Year, to do the museums, and the bright lights, big city thing.
Gosh, after a peaceful two weeks of timeless family serenity, reading, writing, watching movies, hanging out, Roy and I sure didn’t feel like going to London. Couldn’t get out of it–booked and pre-paid, non-refundable!
I was almost feeling resentful about the hammer-beat of the noise and crowds on a pulse and spirit which had SO slowed down, and then I remembered that I had decided to live in the present, and be thankful in all things.
Thanking God that I would get to see the Pre-Raphaelites and Turner and Constable in Tate Britain; the Impressionists in the Courtauld; butterflies and birds in the Natural History Museum, eat delicious Indian and Middle-Eastern food; and take my girls clothes shopping in the Westfield Center changed my attitude from “Oh, I’ve planned too much for a 3 week break,” to excitement.
And we did have a lovely time. Zoe fell in love with London. We enjoyed the centre on stark winter evenings, seeing almost but not the same views as Wordsworth saw in 1802
Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth like a garment wear
The beauty of the morning: silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Open unto the fields, and to the sky,
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.Never did sun more beautifully steep
In his first splendour valley, rock, or hill;
Ne’er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!The river glideth at his own sweet will:
Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;And all that mighty heart is lying still!

                                                                                                 * * *
And here’s an example from this week of how the epiphany of being thankful in all things has changed my emotions and thinking.
Oh, had I but learned that lesson of being thankful in all things earlier, how different would my life have been.
The years when I was angry and resentful with Roy for not helping with housework or childcare as much as I wanted him to. The years I was so worried about how little I was able to write that the very worry and anxiety slowed me down further, and caused adrenal fatigue. All could have been different!!
But even for that, be thankful, Anita, because one teaches best, and shares best, the lessons learned in a hard and bitter school. For then, you know for sure, that they are true.
                                                      * * *
So these are some of the epiphanies which have changed my life, and are changing it:
* Learning to be rejoice always, to be thankful in all things.
* Learning not to worry about anything at all, but instead to turn my worries into prayers.
* Learning to trust God, whatever.
* Learning to pray
* Learning to see this world as a love-gift from God, drenched in his grace, mercy and creativity!!

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Filed Under: Applying my heart unto wisdom

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Comments

  1. Anita says

    January 7, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Oh absolutely, Mary. The common use of meds are a means of grace given to us in the last 25-30 years or so, as life has become more and more complex and mechanized, as our contact with nature, extended family, and close friends, or a circle of close acquaintances diminishes. So much in modern life cuts us off from human contacts, and we are made to be social.
    I am a great believer in using prescription meds when exhausted, overwhelmed, or so depressed that you no longer think, judge or see as you normally would, etc. etc. I have used them myself and am a great believer in this modern means of grace. It's like a modern experience of resurrection!!

  2. marywperry009 says

    January 7, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    Hi,Anita. I don't know as much about your background as I wish I did, but I love that you have been changed by your relationship with God! That's the way it's “supposed” to be…I have to say, I've been comforted by my relationship with Him, but changed more by medication. For so many years, I was on an emotional roller coaster and my family with me, apologies, forgiveness…more apologies…on and on, until a Christian counselor suggested I get myself some help from a Psychiatrist. With the help of meds I am able to see myself transformed by His Spirit. I rather wish my story were different, but I still give Him the glory!

  3. Anita says

    January 7, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    Thanks so much, Jo.
    I too find some blogs are an integral part of my spiritual life–I enjoy Ann Voskamp's A Holy Experience, though I do skim rather than read the lead in to each blog. Though I also need church, because I worship best, when I have to sit still for a while and do so, because the worship lifts my spirits, and because being forced to sit through a sermon forces me to mentally engage with it more than with a blog post.
    Also, the give and take, irritations and pleasures of being in a Christian community are invaluable for smoothing off my rough edges, which blogs can't do.
    Ah, I see I am beginning to write a blog post in the comments!! Must expand on this at some time.
    Thanks much for the encouragement, Jo!

  4. jo rosenblum says

    January 6, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    Thank you Anita,
    I so enjoy reading and reflecting on your posts, at the moment they are a part of what I might call 'church' for me.
    God does teach us in unexpected ways, and you have a gift of being able to share.
    Bless you.
    Jo

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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