Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

Archives for April 2010

“I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten,” Joel 2:25

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I read, years ago, in a book on gardening about  planting a herby lawn, a lawn with herbs interplanted with grass, so that as you walk they release their sweet fragrance. We did not succeed in establishing herbs in our lawn in Virginia, as our gardening skills were unequal to their scorching summers and freezing winters.

However, in England’s mild climate, even though we have been careless and distracted gardeners, it has worked. The apple mint we planted in beds (yes, silly us,) has spread all over the lawn. I can’t wait to mow the grass now, to smell tangy apple mint.

Mint all over the lawn. From what? A single wispy, unpromising cutting sowed 5 years ago. Wow.

That is God’s normal, the law of increase. Small good deeds yielding a mighty harvest. An abounding harvest from what seemed like the wasted, unpromising years.

Multiplication, the exponential power of multiplication, is God’s normal way of doing things, 5000 fed from 5 loaves, seeds scattered bringing forth 30, 50, 100 seeds.

Bless and establish the work of our hands, O Lord!

In which I Succumb to Family Games

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We’ve used the last week of the Easter holidays to play lots of Family Games –Whist, Rummy, Go Fish and Cheat. Articulate and Taboo

. Roy and I were together for the former and steam-rollered the children. To our astonishment, they won at Taboo. As I overheard Zoe tell Irene beforehand, “It will be okay, Mum and Dad don’t even know how to do Bendy Bob. Or to draw!”
When they were younger, I preferred to read to them rather than play games–a bit of fanatic about learning–but  Irene in particular, loves family games!

In which I Resolve to Wake Early

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I remember a talk by Jack Miller of World Harvest Mission which made fun of Samuel Johnson (Dr. Johnson’s) resolutions to wake earlier. “I am resolved to wake at noon tomorrow. Though it be late, it is still earlier than the time I work today–which was noon”
And so it goes, through the decades, going to bed at 2, or 3 or 4, waking up in the afternoon, excoriating himself, resolutions, failure.
The audience roared with laughter.  I found it tragic.
Miller concluded that that this cycle of resolution and failure was because Johnson, a Christian, did not know how to rely on the power of God.
Perhaps…
I do know I have rarely succeeded in waking early for any length of time.
Steve Pavlina in his personal development blog suggests that the usual advice given–sleep at the same time, wake at the same time–is faulty. He suggests instead sleeping only when one is really, really sleepy–but waking at the same time, daily.
I should try it. After all, what can be lost by waking up when one is still tired? One can always nap.
I am going to put my alarm 5 minutes earlier tomorrow than it was today, and so on everyday, until I am waking up early.
Stay tuned.

In which I Got the Precise House I Prayed for, and when I see better, I will remain content

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When we were house-hunting in 2005, I made a list of 10 things I wanted in a house.
Some of them were fantasies, pipedreams, improbabilities. A detached study, ponds, at least an acre of garden, and since we were in England, stone walls, rambling roses. A stream around the property.
And being a Christian, I prayed through the list most days–passionately, I must confess!
And then, chills ran down my spine, when I saw this house in Garsington advertised on the internet, after we had looked at just one house, a farmhouse, with a “healing” well mentioned in the Domesday book with an acre, yes, but in the one of the worst areas of Oxford (in terms of crime and poverty) and in bad repair. Living in a house that  costs way more than the average neighbourhood price might not augur well for safety I thought, and did we want to spend our time doing repairs.
I instantly knew I wanted the house, as I looked at the pictures and details. It had 9 of my 10 desiderata. The agent never had an easier sale.

Picture perfect, roses on its stone walls, a detached upstairs study (“a granny annexe”) with views over farmland for me, a 1711 house. An acre and a half around it.
Way too expensive. But perfect! We bought it, and made the life-style changes to afford it. I started a business, which has been among the most interesting and compelling things I have ever done–a publishing company.
It was my dream house. I was thrilled. Till I saw a friend’s house, same acreage, but her living room faced her large pond, whereas my pond was out of sight. She also had a large sunny conservatory. She said they was thinking of selling her house. It was 60% more than mine. Buy another dream house?
Or be content, and stay rooted. We instead built a large conservatory, twice as large as any of the rooms in this old house. I love it.
One does not need perfection. Better to learn the fine art of being content.
Also, given that it has taken us four years to set up this house, and we still have boxes to unpack, I simply cannot contemplate doing it all again.
And moulding and reshaping a house is satisfying. We are constantly tweaking it, putting in new lighting, new bookshelves. We now eat in the conservatory and our dining room is a library with wall to wall bookshelves. I love it!

Garden of delight, April 16th

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Well, we’ve been away for two weeks, and on our return did big household project, bookshelves, unpacking, decluttering. So I just enjoyed the paddock today during my run.
The changes in the garden in the last three weeks are amazing. Queen Anne’s Lace along the garden paths, cowslips, lots of daffodils, arum italicum, hellebores. Nature is blooming!!

Dick Woodward’s Four Spiritual Secrets

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Our last day in Norway was blessed, and on a spiritual high. All of us listened to Dick Woodward’s God-story, “The Four Spiritual Secrets” kindly given me by his daughter Virginia. Highly recommended and totally gripping. Dick has an engaging speaking style, just perfect for an audiobook.

Dick is now a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck down, but the author of the phenomenally successful (and massive) audio Bible survey, The Mini-Bible College, which has blessed my husband Roy’s commutes for many years. I have met him twice at his home, and have been struck by his good humour and calm confidence and wisdom.
The four spiritual secrets are
I can’t, but He can, and I am in Him, and He is in me.
I am not, but he is, and I am in Him, and He is in me
I don’t want to, but He wants to, and I am in him, and He is in me
I didn’t, but He did, because I am in Him, and He is in me.
How do you learn them? By reaching a point of helplessness.

I first heard Dick’s teaching in 1990, I think, but I didn’t know how to rely on God, or what relying on God meant in my areas of competence.

Through various circumstances, and some adversity, I have happily (I think) reached the point at which I don’t know how I would function in those very same areas without the grace and help of God.

It is a strangely freeing and happy stage. I know I need God to write, to run my house, to parent, to run a business, whatever, and increasingly am doing things by prayer.

Here’s Dick Woodward’s website, www.4SPIRITUALSECRETS.COM. It also has a link to an online Bible study, his Mini-Bible College.  I also recommend his audiobook, The Four Spiritual Secrets.

Easter Holidays in France (from Facebook).

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Despite several trips, have still not got used to the wonder of driving to Europe! Explored the 13th century Gothic Reims Cathedral today, where Joan of Arc crowned the Dauphin. I think I can never get enough of cathedrals, especially Gothic cathedrals. Noble architecture, and the Rose and stained glass windows, dusty and dark from the outside, full of light and magic from the inside (like the Christian faith!).









Reims, the traditional coronation Cathedral of the Kings of France, is massive–like a forest of noble columns. The stained glass windows were breathtaking. All that love and artistry lavished on tiny figures, 100s of feet above ground, barely discernible by the naked eye. Art for its own sake & for the sake of God. The cold stone cathedral was a monument to humankind’s love for God–& the inspiration that provides!









Spent today in Dijon. Lovely Gothic Burgundian cathedral of Notre Dame, and a renaissance Cathedral of Saint Michel within a stone’s throw of each other. An architecturally dense walking city, beautiful and magical old buildings, lots of eye candy (as well as the gingerbread they are famous for, as well as….you guessed it!


The 13th century Cathedral of Notre Dame was packed with French people of every generation and class, queueing up in various stations for Easter confession. Sweet faced people praying quietly in every church we visited… There is much that is sweet and powerful about Catholicism, and I marvel at its staying power, even in modern Western societies. Now onto Provence and sun (nous esperons!).









  








Stopped in at the 11th century Romanesque church of St. Apollinaire in Valence on the way to dinner in Avignon, facing the River Rhone, and the Palais des Papes, floodlit, glittering & reflected in the river. Canard and agneau. A bit of a battle of wills here in Provence, between me persistently wanting to try out my French, & the French preferring to speak English!!








We spent yesterday in the medieval walled city of Avignon, wandering around its narrow cobbled streets. Saw a pretty Botticelli, in the otherwise mediocre Petit Palais des Papes. Also enjoyed the Romanesque Notre Dame Cathedral. A French pope relocated to Avignon in the 14th century, followed by 9 popes, not all of them approved by the rest of the Catholic church, which at one time had 3 popes!





 Avignon, was a truly beautiful city, something magical about it, much like old Dijon. We are now in Arles, planning to wander on the Van Gogh trail. Many of the flower-beds, buildings, views look (or have been restored to) look as they did when he painted them. I love Provence, so far. Beautiful bright sunny weather, blue skies, neither hot nor chilly. Am in no hurry to return!





Yesterday’s highlight was definitely the Camargue, a watery world of sea and lagoons. We saw whole flocks (flamboyances) of flamingoes feeding, suddenly starting into the air with a graceful symmetry of orange and black wings. Wow, never seen flamingoes in the wild before. Also saw herds of wild white horses, lovely, and herds of their indigenous wild bulls. A lovely unique place.





We saw some bull racing in Arles, and were amused at the very macho spectacle of the matadors and picadors with their smart hats, on their white horses herding the bulls around, followed by crowds of children. Irene was so excited to see the Camargue, since she had memorized a French poem about it, and that world of sea, water, lagoons, flamingoes, white horses and bulls was more or less as she had imagined it!





In St Tropez today. Lovely, lovely fresh bread, pastries and treats from Maitre Julien, Artisan Boulanger. Headed for the beach now, yay! Happy Easter, everyone!





Walked by the beach at St. Tropez. Lovely clear water. Gathered lots of pretty beach glass, for the mosaic stepping stones we like making. Some sort of street fair, enjoyed kebab crepes (yes, really!) Now on our way along the Riviera to Fondation Maeght in Saint Paul de Vence, an amazing art museum. Rented a huge comfy camper van this time, so am able to do some writing now and again. Yay!





Still in Provence. Walked up the narrow claustrophobic medieval walled hillside town of St Paul de Vence yesterd
ay. Full of shops and tourists. Required an effort of imagination to see it as it must have been in medieval heyday, bustling and over-crowded with noisy people, in bright clothes. Watched old Frenchmen in bright cardigans play boules with savage concentration. Could have been in a Pagnol movie set!!





Loved Les Collettes on Cagner-Sur-mer on the Riviera, Renoir’s home, now a museum. V. moving photographs of Renoir, his hands crippled with rheumatoid arthritis, still painting with brushes tied onto them. He painted till the day he died at 78, much like Monet, a faithful practitioner of the religion of art. The gardens were gorgeous, gnarled olive trees, an abundance of wild flowers. Lovely clear sunny day.


Yesterday: best day of this holiday (Irene rated it a 9.5 on 10 of all holidays ever.) We drove to the Gorges du Verdon in Provence, pure Marcel Pagnol country. It reminded us of the Pagnol films we watched 20 years ago, and again last year. The Gorges were dizzying drops, like the Grand Canyon, with the river and lake impossibly thin ribbons far below. Fantastic rock formations carved by the river. Quiet sunny day.





Our walk in Provence was among my top favourites ever: sunny skies, gnarled olive trees, wild hellebores, violets & French wild flowers I did not recognize. The sound of cicadas and birds, and otherwise silence… Now we are in the Ville Rose of Toulouse, and I am writing opposite the floodlit basilica of Saint-Sernin, a 12th century Romanesque church, one of the most striking and beautiful churches I have ever seen!





Loved Toulouse. The Ville Rose, all in red brick. The Church of the Jacobins, built in 1230, mother-church of the Dominicans, was a most striking church. A simple nave, bisected by columns, which ended in a palm frond like spray of vaulting ribs. Amazing long, thin stained glass windows through the cathedral–all reflected in a massive mirror, which reflected beauties which we had not noticed the first time around.





Toulouse was an amazing multicultural city. We enjoyed Egyptian, Turkish and Lebanese snacks, and the massive Romanesque church of Saint Sernin, and the smaller Notre Dame de Taurs.  I particularly enjoyed walking along Louis XIV’s Canal Du Midi, heroically dug from the Atlantic to the Mediterranean.  Today is reserved for beaches–the rest of the family climbed up the Dune Du Pyla, largest sand dune in Europe, an amazing spectacle. We also enjoyed the clean, tranquil Arcachon beaches, amazingly.





Last night in France, 850 km drive from Bordeaux’s beaches to Calais, from 9 p.m. to early next morning. Roy said it was a rubbish plan, & he only agreed because I am cute. He says I should save this Facebook status, and reuse it as his comment on a lot of my plans! Homes again! Spring has rushed in during the two weeks we’ve been away. We returned to a bird-loud evening with our hellebores blooming a welcome.










Facebook posts from March 2010

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Back to the hurly-burly after a gorgeous weekend. Zoe cooked a couple of roast ducks for our friends Martin, Helen, Anna, and adorable, naughty Saskia on Saturday. She included roast potatoes, stuffing, and her trademark onion, giblet and mushroom gravy, and it was delicious, as one expects from the cooking of Zoe, 15. High Tea at Bea Sykes on Sunday. Great idea, Bea–I must take a leaf out of your book!!





Roy and I are loving our Christian history class at Oxford Uni. We’ve got to Henry II, Thomas a Beckett, and the crusades. We wandered through the building during break, overhearing erudite, occasionally pompous and pretentious, sentences in plummy English accents, and couldn’t help laughing!! Zoe and her friend Eleanor are doing the Alpha Course at the same time, and enjoying it as almost as much as we are!




 Sweet moment in p.m. service at Aldates. The sweet fresh-faced & fresh-spirited interns are going to INDIA to work with drug addicts at Betel (INDIA/drug addicts; cognitive dissonance…) They needed £3300. Gordon Hickson said, “The good news is that the money is here. The bad news is that it’s in our wallets.” The congregation filed up, filling the baskets with banknotes. The spontaneous generosity was v. moving!


“Palaces of peace and discipline and dreaming” C.S. Lewis on Oxford. Now that both our girls have fallen in love with both their academic work and reading, our home in Oxford is becoming a bit like that!!


Rented a camper-van today for our Easter break. Two weeks exploring France, particularly the South of France and Provence, though I would also like to get to Brittany, if possible. Excited about the sun and French food!! I love that line from “Julie and Julia,” “Just imagine, the French eat French food every day!”


Reading Imagist Poetry (Penguin anthology edited by Peter Jones) and HD. Fascinated by their knack of putting all that is essential in a single image. I guess Christ does that in some of his parables. Here’s one from the first page, Edward Storer, “Beautiful despair” “I look at the moon/And the frail silver of the climbing stars/ I look, dear, at you,/ And I cast my verses away.”


“Le monde est un livre,et ceux qui ne voyagent pas n’en lisent qu’une page.” Saint Augustine. The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.


Just had a nice invitation for the Anchor Book Club, Oxford to discuss my book, “Wandering between Two Worlds” with them. Which means they’ll all have read it (peut-etre!) Have to dig out notes from the fun discussion on it which I lead at St. John’s College, Oxford. And have to plug on with Book 2 and 3, which I am working on simultaneously; have loads and loads of pages already, thank goodness.


Roy’s last day of teaching today–he’s now off until last September. Yippee! We’re dipping into Philip Yancey’s interesting “What’s so Amazing About Grace?” I facilitated a discussion of it last week at our home group (called pastorate)–which includes 5 professors, 4 of them theology professors: atypical even for this lovely Oxford! The book’s about the power of forgiveness.


Irene has grown up. “I’m rather interested in rationing and Dig for Victory during the War,” she said, like a real Oxford intellectual, while doing her report. On Mother’s Day, she & Zoe got me breakfast in bed with chocolate, toffee apples, a mug and tray, saying, “If Mothers were flowers, you’d be the one I’d pick,” and (with Roy’s help) a beautiful Donna Karan rose-gold diamond-sprinkled watch. Blingy, but lovely!


Zoe and Irene have had a three word theme song all their young lives, “I’M SO EXCITED!” Though generally excited by life myself, I find there are fewer and fewer things I am REALLY, really looking forward to. Here is a link to a week Roy and I are really, really looking forward to. Yes, and we are looking forward to our 2 weeks in France in April

www.occ.org.uk
We are asking God that this International Leaders’ School of Ministry (ILSOM) will be a life-changing week for anyone with a heart for ministry and revival.


1st day of precious Easter hols. Irene spent the day reading her pile of library books; Zoe’s at a sleep-over. As I hugged Irene & said, “It’s lovely to have a ten year old!” she said, “Better enjoy me quickly; I’m nearly 11.” So she is! ANd growing
up rapidly: going to bed on time, waking early, going to school 25 minutes early to work on projects, beautiful homework done without prompting! I can hardly believe it!!


 Going to France tomorrow. I have never been to Provence or the Riviera, though we’ve done Paris, Reims, Amiens, etc a couple of times. Haven’t planned a whole lot, so I guess there will be a good deal of adventure and spontaneity!! Am really, really looking forward to our two weeks there. Today though, we have to pack--which is among my least favourite activities.


Movie marathon, in between packing for today’s trip to France. More popular with parents than kids! Watched episodes of Maccullough History of Christianity, avec kids, then got them to watch movies we loved when we were their age. Rex Harrison and pretty Audrey Hepburn in “My Fair Lady,” and “Jesus Christ, Superstar.” Irene humoured us; Zoe was too cool for 70ies cool!