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The role of Enemies and Frenemies in God’s Plan for our Lives

By Anita Mathias

high-gradient rocky riverbank system along the Peabody River near Gorham (photo by Ben Kimball for the NH Natural Heritage Bureau)
Have you ever had an enemy, or a competitive frenemy? You know the sort of person who, if your name comes up to speak, or be in an anthology, or a panel, or win a prize is certain to, covertly and insidiously, block you?

I guess no one can escape them, even someone who is“irreproachable: as painfully thin as anyone could wish, without quirks, without oddities, capable of going from perfect bride to perfect mother, with no messy deviation.”

Sometimes, we have behaved in such a way that they have good reason to block us from “glory” or damn us with faint praise. And, sometimes, it is sheer jealousy and insecurity, which we have not deserved.

* * *

Enemies and jealousy are a fact of life. But they are not in any way to disturb us or frighten us. They were written into the blueprint of our lives from the foundation of the world, and whatever opportunities to “star” they deprive us of, were, of course, not opportunities God wanted us to have right then. Enemies, by virtue of thwarting and blocking our weak, foolish and undirected ambitions, in fact, help keep us focused on the main thing.

And—and, this must be infuriating to the enemy—their blocking us is only going to make us stronger, if we continue seeking after Jesus.

No one can block the life of Jesus in us.  And so Paul writes, 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess 5:16.

* * *

As a river hits rock, it turns in another direction. If it did not hit obstacles of hard, gravelly, rocky soil, it would become a swamp, a marsh, a pond. It would never reach the sea. But the impermeable rock it meets, the friend who will not be appeased in our terms, forces it, in its contorted, twisty way, towards the ocean.

When I look back to times when I was blocked, for many of them, I feel thanksgiving. Yes, I do!

I think of a group I was in four years ago in my previous church, led by a little cocky Eastender who had spent time in jail. (Yeah, it all was a bit of a soap opera!). This fellow, I’ll call David, loved to hold forth, and I guess, so did I, then. Once when he asked me to lead the group, he kept interrupting every sentence, and to his wife’s frown and admonitory shake of the head, subsided, muttering, “It’s not a sermon!”

He suggested we split into midweek triplets. I have long had a dream of leading a group which would read through the Bible. (I know now that I will never lead it, because my call to write and blog has grown so much stronger, but I still dream of belonging to such a group.)

So when he suggested prayer triplets, I emailed all the women in the group asking if they wanted to meet in my house, read through the entire Bible, week by week, and then pray. Pretty much everyone wanted to.

Well, this little man went ballistic. My inbox filled with hysterical emails accusing me of undermining him; there were hysterical angry phone-calls.  He sent me idiotic questionnaires asking what I considered the ideal qualities to host a group or lead a group, questionnaires I wisely ignored. I didn’t lead that mini-group.

I was blocked in another group I did lead, thank goodness, thank goodness, and soon left that church which seemed to be as much about contending for status, position and importance as about following Jesus Christ.

* * *

So what happened? I had been leading groups for over ten years, and got into the habit of sharing my thoughts and insights with the group rather than write them down.

The impulse to meditate on Scripture and share my thoughts was still strong in me. Was God-given. When I was not leading, the thoughts and insights still came, a stream of living waters within me, but I wrote them down.

Within six months, in April 2010, I began blogging. The river of God’s life in me, blocked in one direction turned to another, which happened to be God’s true call for me.

* * *

And have I forgiven David? Yeah, sure I have. I was upset and angry then, even burst into tears in one of the phone calls with this man who was so terrified that I might possibly have a greater gift than this—but ultimately, he behaved so stupidly that it was easy to forgive.

Premeditated malice ah, that’s a different ballgame, but even then, God has permitted us to have enemies for our own good.

* * *

What our enemies do for us: We learn to act graciously and with dignity in the face of our enemies, as I did not do then, but do increasingly now. We learn to forgive—and essentially blow off their injury (and sometimes we can blow them off, glory be to God!!).

We learn to trust God that our enemies might block short-term “glory,” but cannot block the long-term purposes of God in our lives. And we learn to keep on keeping on, and when we see God give us the opportunities our enemies denied us—but just bigger and better, oh, our trust is immeasurably deepened.

I joined another local church which I did love, was soon asked to co-lead a group, and did so, but after a year, realized that leading groups was no longer in God’s plan for me, that I could share what the Spirit says to my spirit and perhaps the Church with more people through my blog.

* * *

Somerset Maugham has a splendid story called The Verger. An illiterate man is fired by the snooty new vicar from his job as a church verger. He drifts into business, and becomes wildly successful.

When the bank manager discovers that he was illiterate, “the manager was so surprised that he jumped up from his chair.

“That’s the most extraordinary thing I ever heard.”

He stared at him as though he were a prehistoric monster.

“And do you mean to say that you’ve built up this important business and amassed a fortune of thirty thousand pounds without being able to read or write? Good God, man, what would you be now if you had been able to?”

“I can tell you that sir,” said Mr. Foreman, a little smile on his still aristocratic features. “I’d be verger of St. Peter’s, Neville Square.”

* * *

I got into blogging because I was blocked in a manuscript I had trouble wrapping up, and because being blocked from teaching the Bible after doing so for seven years left me with time to meditate and more ideas than I had people to share them with. And so I wrote them down. And blogging has been life-transforming for me, and so I bless all who have brought me to it.

 

 

Filed Under: In which I just keep Trusting the Lord Tagged With: enemies, frenemies, Trust

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My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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The Story of Dirk Willems

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
  • Trust: A Message of Christmas
  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner
  • On Loving That Which Love You Back
  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
  • Shining Faith in Action: Dirk Willems on the Ice
  • The Story of Dirk Willems: The Man who Died to Save His Enemy

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What I’m Reading

Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance
Barak Obama

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H Is for Hawk
Helen MacDonald

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Tiny Habits
B. J. Fogg

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The Regeneration Trilogy
Pat Barker

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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