Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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“Of Gods and Men” A Sublime and Beautiful Film

By Anita Mathias

I watched this film by Xavier Beauvois last night. It is one of the most beautiful, even sublime, films I’ve seen in a long time.

It’s the true story of 9 Trappist monks in the Tibhirine Monastery in the Atlas Mountains of Algeria. They live a beautiful life of prayer, Gregorian chant, and work: medical work among the poor for Brother Luc; study of the Koran for the scholarly abbot Christian; and making honey, growing vegetables, and tending sheep for the others. They are self-sufficient, and advise, succour and provide free medical care for the local villagers, who love them.

Algeria was torn by a civil war between a corrupt government and the mujahadeen. The latter are barbarous–they murder girls without the hijab; teachers who speak of “love marriages;” harmless Croatian highway workers.

They pay the monks an armed visit. Both army and police warn the monks that it is a just a matter of time before they too are murdered. And offer armed protection.

The Abbot, Christian de Cherge refuses. He cannot have the soldiers of a corrupt government in the monastery.
                                                   * * * 

post01-christianmuslimlove
Of Gods and Men. The Monks Vote to Stay

                                                       
The crux of the drama is the decision: Should they stay, or return to France?

The mujahadeen are illiterate and murderous. Sooner or later, they will be murdered, they all realize.

The villagers plead with them to stay. They feel safe as long as the monks stay.

And they do, madly sacrificing their one and precious life (in a decision, I feel was a mistake).

Why? Because they believed they had already died when they decided to follow Christ as a monk. That being a martyr was no less foolish than being a monk. That they had chosen to incarnate with the villagers, in their poverty and powerlessness, and to flee would not be right. That the Good Shepherd would not do that. That they should stay in the place they had committed to stay (and trust the results of that choice to God).

It is perhaps relevant that Trappists take the fourth vow of stability. They promise to stay rooted in the monastery they enter. And so these monks do.

They are taken hostage. Murdered.  As they more or less foreknew.

                                                  * * *

Mad men, or saints?

Sometimes, the prudent choice would be such a denial of everything you lived for to date. Of everything you value. Of everything you hope to live for.

To betray your ideals and everything you have lived for to save your own life is just another form of death.

So fleeing would negate their commitment to love, powerlessness, trust, incarnation, service, the village of Tibhirine, Algeria, and their fourth monastic vow of stability, commitment to a place.

What then would they live for in the future if they had allowed fear to negate everything they had lived for so far–and hoped to live for?

This is the reasoning which leads men and women to die rather than deny Christ.
                                                 * * *

 The Abbot Christian de Cherge belonged to a distinguished French military family and fought in the French army during the brutal Algerian war of independence. A Muslim friend, Mohammed, faced down local rebels who wanted to shoot Christian when they were taking their customary walk, and discussing their faith. The next day, the rebels shot Mohammed.

The real life Christian left a beautiful testament, in which he addresses his “friend of the last minute, who will not have known what you are doing. May we meet again, as happy thieves in Paradise.”
                                                  * * *

In the contemporary classic, Desiring God, John Piper ridicules the idea that there is an inherent beauty in the monastic life of prayer, quietness and worship.

This film shows the beauty of that life. You can almost taste the silence. The peace. The grace. The balm of the Psalms. Oh to be a contemplative! A contemplative in the world, since my life choices have closed the other path to me.

                                                 * * *


 And here is the Testament left by the real-life the abbot, Dom Christian de Chergé

Facing a GOODBYE …

If it should happen one day — and it could be today — that I become a victim of the terrorism which now seems ready to engulf all the foreigners living in Algeria, I would like my community, my Church and my family to remember that my life was GIVEN to God and to this country.

I ask them to accept the fact that the One Master of all life was not a stranger to this brutal departure.

I ask them to associate this death with so many other equally violent ones which are forgotten through indifference or anonymity.

My life has no more value than any other. Nor any less value. In any case, it has not the innocence of childhood.

I have lived long enough to know that I am an accomplice in the evil which seems to prevail so terribly in the world, even in the evil which might blindly strike me down.

I should like, when the time comes, to have a moment of spiritual clarity which would allow me to beg forgiveness of God and of my fellow human beings, and at the same time forgive with all my heart the one who would strike me down.

I could not desire such a death. It seems to me important to state this.

I do not see, in fact, how I could rejoice if the people I love were indiscriminately accused of my murder.

It would be too high a price to pay for what will perhaps be called, the “grace of martyrdom” to owe it to an Algerian, whoever he might be, especially if he says he is acting in fidelity to what he believes to be Islam.

I am aware of the scorn which can be heaped on the Algerians indiscriminately.

I am also aware of the caricatures of Islam which a certain Islamism fosters.

It is too easy to soothe one’s conscience by identifying this religious way with the fundamentalist ideology of its extremists.

For me, Algeria and Islam are something different: it is a body and a soul.

I have proclaimed this often enough, I think, in the light of what I have received from it.

I so often find there that true strand of the Gospel which I learned at my mother’s knee, my very first Church, precisely in Algeria, and already inspired with respect for Muslim believers.

Obviously, my death will appear to confirm those who hastily judged me naive or idealistic:
“Let him tell us now what he thinks of his ideals!”

But these persons should know that finally my most avid curiosity will be set free.

This is what I shall be able to do, God willing: immerse my gaze in that of the Father to contemplate with him His children of Islam just as He sees them, all shining with the glory of Christ, the fruit of His Passion, filled with the Gift of the Spirit whose secret joy will always be to establish communion and restore the likeness, playing with the differences.

For this life lost, totally mine and totally theirs, I thank God, who seems to have willed it entirely for the sake of that JOY in everything and in spite of everything.

In this THANK YOU, which is said for everything in my life from now on, I certainly include you, friends of yesterday and today, and you, my friends of this place, along with my mother and father, my sisters and brothers and their families — you are the hundredfold granted as was promised!

And also you, my last-minute friend, who will not have known what you were doing:

Yes, I want this THANK YOU and this GOODBYE to be a “GOD BLESS” for you, too, because in God’s face I see yours.

May we meet again as happy thieves in Paradise, if it please God, the Father of us both.

AMEN! INCHALLAH! 

Filed Under: random

The Parable of the Talents: A Parable for Business and Life

By Anita Mathias


 

The Parable of the Talents

This parable is probably the one which has intrigued me more than any other.


Those given the talent of ability to begin with are entrusted with more.
No directions are given. The wealth (in this parable) is given to them in trust.
And they are now to get on with their lives.
It is a test.

Those who have made the most of what they have been given are given increased responsibility–and happiness.
Those who have not lose what they have been given–and it is given to those who already have a lot.
This parable, among all Jesus’s parables is the most true to life as I have observed and experienced it.
One starting point is random: different people are given different “talents”–intelligence, wealth, beauty, family connections, health….

To those who are diligent about using what they have is more given. And even more.

Those who are not diligent lose the little they have.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

At a certain period in my life, I was the wicked and lazy servant–not making use of my education and writing gifts, not making the most of my financial resources. I experienced a bit of what Jesus talks about, seeing people who perhaps had less writing ability and training do far better than I because of diligence. And financially, I found myself with less disposable income than people who are more careful with their money.

And seeing that, this parable became tatooed on my mind and skin. I now am really nervous about not making the most of what I have been given–both material resources, and talents and abilities.
ATTITUDE
The former two servants go the extra mile. Is it fondness for their employer, or is it a finely developed sense of responsibility?

They prove worthy of the trust, they turn over all their proceeds to their employer. They are rewarded with increased responsibility–and happiness.

The third servant has a stingy attitude–he does not want the master to harvest where he has not sown.
He does not want to do anything more than the minimum, and has no interest in being a blessing to his master. No interest in the extra mile.

Because of his stinginess, he loses what he has, whereas the generous, helpful servant is rewarded.
That too is true: that a generous, helpful attitude, being willing to go the extra mile is richly rewarded in business, in life–whereas–for reasons that are not entirely obvious–never being willing to do more than the minimum, leads to failure and a general crimping of life. 
FAITHFULNESS

Being faithful in small things is a sure way to expanded responsibility and recognition.

What has God entrusted you with today? Being faithful with it will lead to you having an enlarged territory, as Jabez expresses in his prayer.
A personal commission 
Do the best you can with what God has given you. However, God does not judge people comparatively, but in accordance with the gifts he has given them to begin with.

How we handle spiritual truth

The parable, as Jesus says elsewhere, is to do with what one does with the  spiritual truth one hears and understands.
Those who are faithful with obeying it, and living it out will be given even more spiritual insight and wisdom.
On the other hand, those who hear with no interest in obeying, and living out their spiritual insights will find themselves forgetting them, or retaining their once glowing spiritual insights as dull, tarnished, unappealing things. 

Jesus concludes this parable in other synoptics by saying, “Let him who has ears to hear, hear.”

Personal Business Application
What is a good rate of return on an investment of money or effort?

The parable suggests 100% at least. Invest a £100, make £200, let’s say.

Is this possible? Yes. Not always at first, for business, like most things is an art which has to be learned.

The thing to focus on is leveraging one’s time, energy, talents, investments, raw materials, so as to obtain at least double of what you invested. I learned a lot about this principle of leveraging from a book I picked up second-hand, “The Lazy Man’s Guide to Riches.”

Here is Steve Pavlina’s take on the application of the parable of talents to business.  

Excerpts:

 


What’s the ultimate reward for the faithful servants?  Although Jesus doesn’t explicitly say it, it seems obvious they don’t get to keep the money.  The two successful servants aren’t even working for their own increase.  It’s not their money.  They’re working for the increase of their master, and they share in the increase to his estate.  Their true reward is to share in their master’s happiness.  So happiness is the reward, and happiness comes from serving others.

I know from experience that if I undertake some action to create increase only for myself, there’s very little energy to it, and it doesn’t usually increase my happiness.  But if I focus on creating increase for others (such as by helping people grow), then I feel great joy in doing that, and it ultimately creates increase for me too.

 As Jesus implies in The Parable of the Talents, creating abundance requires you to move beyond fear.  If you’re too fearful or suspicious or distrustful, you’re going to bury your talents.  And this leads to “weeping and gnashing of teeth,” i.e. sorrow and depression.

You might think that fear and suspicion will keep you out of trouble, but really they’ll just cause you suffering and pain.  You don’t need fear to avoid being a gullible idiot; for that you just need common sense.  To live a life of abundance, you must ultimately move beyond fear and work to create abundance for others.  Otherwise you’ll ultimately be cast out as worthless.  Jesus doesn’t pull any punches here, youse bums.

Serve to create increase for others, and happiness is your reward.  Bury your talents, and you get “weeping and gnashing of teeth.”  The choice is yours.


Readiness: Wise and Foolish Virgins, Blog Through the Bible Project

Wilhelm Von Schadow, Wise and Foolish Virgins.
 The Parable of the Ten Virgins

 1 “At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish and five were wise. 3 The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. 4 The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. 5 The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
    6 “At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’

   7 “Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. 8 The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’

   9 “‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’

   10 “But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.

   11 “Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’

   12 “But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’

   13 “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

Just one life. Just one. And at the end, we will meet Christ, the bridegroom. 


Are we living in readiness for him? Or are we totally unprepared? 

Christ says, “Be ready, because you don’t know the day or the hour. And when he returns, no one can help us out. We have to take personal responsibility for our readiness.

What it means to keep one’s lamp filled with oil varies according to our calling. For me, it would mean learning to keep my eyes on Jesus through the day. Being faithful to my calling as a writer, be it “less or more, or soon or slow, mean or high” as Milton writes about his calling in Sonnet 23.


It means being kind to my husband. Investing in my kids.

This is a quiet patch in my life; I am not as involved in church stuff as I normally have been, which means a kind of simplifying when it comes to the question of what God’s will for me is, what keeping my lamp full of oil means.

To keep my eyes on Jesus. To write. To love my husband. To try to mother my kids well.

 




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Filed Under: random

Heresy, History and Politics in Ravenna’s mosaiced churches

By Anita Mathias

The Arian Baptistery

Arian Baptistry from the outside

The Arian heresy, quite intuitively and reasonably I think, saw the Son as just that, a son, subordinate to the Father, in submission to him, not quite as omnipotent or omniscient as him.


Theodoric, an early ruler of Ravenna, and the Germans and Goths were Arians. The native Italians, and the Emperor in Constantiople adhered more or less to present day Christian orthodoxy.


The political power struggle between the two culminated in the Council of Chalcedon. The Arians lost and were persecuted.


Were the Goths, Ostrogoths and Germans stronger, Christian theology today might have looked different.


I took a two term course in the History of Christianity at Oxford University last year. Theology and dogma, I learnt was always formulated in the interplay of power politics, national politics, money, influence, and who detested, or was envious of whom.


No theological system, it’s likely, is right on every point–even, perhaps, whichever one we ourselves adhere to!! 

Saint Apollinaire Nuovo  on a sunny spring day.


Charming magi in the church

Female Martyrs in the Church

Neonian Baptistry, Ravenna, an orthodox baptistry
10 sided Mausoleum of Theodoric, Ravenna



Filed Under: random

Ravenna Mosaics, Apollinaire at Classe

By Anita Mathias




Sant Apollinare in Classe, outskirts of Ravenna.
6th-7th century AD.
Very peaceful. Like stepping into another world.


The mosaic in the apse, shown before is an allegorical representation of the Transfiguration. It is hypnotic.


Right in the centre of the cross is an image of Christ, see detail above.


Funny, how the Christian imagination has almost always represented Christ in the same way–long, lean bearded face, piercing eyes.

Robert Powell in Franco Zefferelli’s Jesus of  Nazareth


 See also Byzantine Mosaics the Mausoleum of Galla Placida
http://dreamingbeneaththespires.blogspot.com/2011/04/byzantine-art-of-mosaics-and-mausoleum.html

Filed Under: random

Paul on homosexuality. Romans 1. Blog Through the Bible Project

By Anita Mathias

God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts

Hieronymus Bosch, The Garden of Earthly Delights

Romans 1: 21-27
 21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

 24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
 26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

Okay, let’s read through this. Because men neither glorified God, nor thanked him, their thinking tended to futility (uselessness), their hearts were darkened, and they became fools.

Their trajectory is set away from God–and so God allows them to continue on the trajectory they have chosen.

He surrenders them to their own lust. And to be surrendered to one’s own lust, without restraint or governance from God, is a very scary thing indeed.

And some men and women experienced lust for one another. “And received in themselves the penalty for their error.” What is this referring to? A prophetic reference to AIDS–a common interpretation? Or to the health risks of gay sex?

Evangelical and Liberal Christians do not agree on their intepretation of homosexuality–is it, or is not, sinful?–and since it is not a sin, or otherwise, which I am/have been particularly tempted by–and I have plenty of my own temptations–I am not going to blog further about it.

Of course this is Paul’s letter to the Romans, not mine. He is a first century Jew; he may or may not be homophobic; and the words he uses to describe homosexuality, not surprisingly for his era are “unnatural,” and verse 27, “shameful,” which is either a reference to homosexuality, or to particular homosexual practices. 

What do you think? How do you read this passage?

Share on site of your choice … Wikio

Filed Under: random

God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts

By Anita Mathias

Hieronymus Bosch, The Garden of Earthly Delights







Romans 1: 21-27
 21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.


 24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

 26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

Okay, let’s read through this. Because men neither glorified God, nor thanked him, their thinking tended to futility (uselessness), their hearts were darkened, and they became fools.

Their trajectory is set away from God–and so God allows them to continue on the trajectory they have chosen.

He surrenders them to their own lust. And to be surrendered to one’s own lust, without restraint or governance from God, is a very scary thing indeed.

And some men and women experienced lust for one another. “And received in themselves the penalty for their error.” What is this referring to? A prophetic reference to AIDS–a common interpretation? Or to the health risks of gay sex?

Homosexuality is a controversial topic in liberal Christian circles–is it, or is not, sinful– and since it is not a sin, or otherwise, which I am/have been particularly tempted by–and I have plenty of my own temptations–I am not going to blog further about it.

Of course this is Paul’s letter to the Romans, not mine. He is a first century Jew; he may or may not be homophobic; and the words he uses to describe homosexuality, not surprisingly for his era are “unnatural,” and verse 27, “shameful,” which is either a reference to homosexuality, or to particular homosexual practices. 

What do you think? How do you read this passage?



Filed Under: random

One Year of Blogging: Taking Stock. 10 Reflections and Resolutions

By Anita Mathias

Happy First Birthday to Dreaming Beneath the Spires.
And time for taking stock.
1) Am I glad I started blogging? Is it worth it?
I think so. I have never before had my writing read on a daily basis by so many people, between 200-300 most days.
2) What do I like about best about blogging?
The Writing
Wrestling down stray thoughts into shapely posts.
Writing every day.
Beginning to write more easily and fluently than I ever have
The People.
I have met a whole lot of interesting fellow-bloggers over coffee and lunches over the last few months–Lesley Fellows, Simon Cozens, Michael Wenham, Alan Crawley, Louise Lister.
And have had lunches and coffees with blog readers, whom I would not otherwise have met.
And have got to know several other blogger through mutual reading and commenting on their blogs-Ray in Aylesbury, Red, Jen in Oregon, Penny in Georgia, Emma in Eastbourne,  Lucy Mills, among other.
Blogging enlarges one’s world. No question about that.
2B Other benefits?
Psychological. I process things through words and images. Processing things on a blog, for public consumption, rather than a journal, does mean that I will follow my thoughts through a lot further than if it were in my journal.
(Risks) Constructing a psychological profile of yourself on the world-wide web is not without risks, and I am not blind to the risks. However, I am trusting my blog and blogging to God, and rightly or wrongly believe that I am under his protection.
Spiritual–Ditto. I tend to follow thoughts through in my blog to a greater extent than in my journal.
3 The Vocation of Blogging
To some extent, I see my blog as a vocation.
In Frederick Buechner’s words, “The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep hunger.”
 I would like my blog to be a bit of a ministry–a place where my deep gladness in writing might–by the God’s grace and mercy– feed some of the world’s deep hunger.
I would like my blog to be an offering of love to my readers.
I have written about this at length, here
4) What do I like least?
Easy. Its impermanence. People read the most recent few posts at best. They only read the archive through google searches or Link Within.
The number of people who read a post partly depends on how strategic you are in the time/day on which you post it. I have just realized this.
When I was aiming at a post a day, I published them, even though the thinking could have been more rigorous and the writing more concise.
 It takes more time to do a short disciplined logical post, than a longer, stream of consciousness one.
And when I was writing late at night with a post to complete before I sleep I was guilty of baggy, sloppy posts.
4B) So, what am I going to do about that?
i)  For past posts, go through my archive. My readership naturally has increased several times over in the course of a year. I am going to go through my archive posts, expand, edit or contract and post the best of them again.
ii) Try for the best writing I can in as many posts as I can, which I can later include in a book of short pieces.
5) Is blogging compatible with the writing of books?
It hasn’t been so far, but I will have to make sure it is.
I see my calling and the “life work” I would like to do with the rest of my life as writing “little books” “What we want is not more little books about Christianity, but more little books by Christians on other subjects – with their Christianity latent.”  C. S.Lewis
6) So what am I going to do differently? 
Set a timer for 45-60 minutes
I wanted to blog thorugh the Bible in a year, then found there was no way I could comment intelligently on several chapters a day that I would need to do to blog though the Bible in a year. Or two.
So I now muse on as much as I can in an hour, post one passage, and save the rest for a day on which blogging is not possible.
I will have to limit my posts on Dreaming Beneath the Spires to 45-60 minutes a day. That does not feel excessive. What if I want to do a long post and it takes more than an hour to get a finished polished post? Well, then, do what I can in the hour, and finish and post it the next day. The world has survived for 4.5 billion years without my blog, and can survive another day more.
No more posting last thing at night because I had committed to do a post a day. Better no post than an incoherent last thing at night post.
If one day I can do 2 or 3 short posts in an hour, I will save up the posts for another day. Writing is always better for being revised
7 Yeah? What difference will limiting blogging to an hour a day make to my blog?
It will be better. A sin against “the Spirit of Writing” to write when you don’t have something to say. It’s better to have no post than to have people waste their time reading a fluffy post posted for the sake of posting something.
Samuel Johnson enigmatically said that the good thing about knowing that you will be executed the next morning is that it wonderfully concentrates the mind. It’s the same with knowing you have  just one hour to blog. You get a whole lot more written, and better. It becomes more important to try to get it right the first time.
I  will try to write more posts to publishable standard for a possible short book of the best of the posts .
Limiting the time I spend on blogging will also ensure that I only write on subjects of genuine interest to me, and not write on what is of current interest–and will be of no interest to anyone in a month.
I either read blogs and comment on them too much– or not at all. I am now going to increase/limit it to 15-20 minutes a day. Keep a balance between blogs I know, and blogs I don’t know, between blogs from the United Kingdom where I now live, and the United States, where I lived for 17 years, and of which I happen to be a citizen!
8 Mr. Holland’s Opus
Do you know Mr. Holland’s Opus? To me, it’s a deeply sad film, though it’s meant to be inspiring. Mr. Holland’s dream is to write the great American symphony. He teaches high school music for 31 years, all the while trying to write his symphony in the ever-dwindling, exhaustion-challenged nibbets of free time.
But he invests in this students, he passes on his love for music. They love him.
When the school cuts the music budget, and he retires, his past and present students play “Mr. Holland’s Opus.”
His opus, he realizes, his life’s work, is the lives he touched and inspired, not the piece of great music he hoped to write.
Many bloggers, I suspect, would like to produce a beautiful, long-lasting piece of work over and above their blogs.
Some do not succeed in this. Blogging is time-consuming and addictive, and their blog becomes their opus.
I have struggled with this for several months now. Do I want to only blog? To let my blog be my opus? All the writing I do?
A  blog, perhaps, is read by more people on a daily basis than a book is.
It is easier to achieve “success” and recognition as a blogger than as a writer. For instance, this blog has been among the top 25 religious blogs in the UK and Ireland and in the top 150 religious blogs in the world (technorati rankings) a few times. But that does not parallel the sales rank of my books on Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com.
I came to the conclusion that the longing of my heart is really to write more books, not to have a successful blog. And so I will pursue that goal.
And if my blog becomes my opus?
So be it.
 9) Monetization?
Hmmm. Jury’s out on that one. There is a corner of my soul that’s four years old (I suspect several people have such a corner), and that part likes to check my google adsense every day and see how much money I’ve made!!
The amount isn’t keeping me afloat by any means; on the other hand, doing totally unremunerated, unremunerative work goes against the grain with me.
10) Rankings.
Wikio started ranking Christian blogs in November. My blog has fluctuated between 25-34 in the UK and Ireland.
A successful blog gains an audience for one’s other writing. However, given my low energy levels if I put the energy into driving my blog up in the rankings, I won’t do other writing.
Thoreau talks about a man who went to India to make a fortune so that he could be a full time writer later. He comments, “Better he went up attic at once.”
So rather than focus on backlinks and stuff to increase the rankings of my blog, and earn an audience for books to come,  I am just going to focus on writing more books.
And trust God for their audience.
                                                                * * *
So I have decided not to worry about blog rankings.
Being concerned about blog rankings subtly changes a blog.
And not necessarily for the better.
An obvious temptation is to blog about what everyone else is blogging about, which will increase your odds of getting linked to.
However, if you are not really interested in the subject, and don’t have passionate feelings about it, writing about it is a waste of time, whether you get linked to or not. Bloggers who often get linked to soon develop an intuitive sense of what will get them backlinks. However, these topics may not be those which are the closest to their hearts. Which are most uniquely them. Their unique contribution to the symphony of the blogosphere. So the short-term success can be at the cost of making their  blogs truly unique and interesting (though perhaps to a smaller audience).

“Many poets are not poets for the same reason that many religious men are not saints: they never succeed in being themselves.  They never get around to being the particular poet or the particular monk they are intended to be by God.  They never become the man or the artist who is called for by all the circumstances of their lives.

        They waste their years in vain efforts to be some other poet, some other saint.  They wear out their minds and bodies in a hopeless endeavor to write somebody else’s poems or possess somebody else’s spirituality.

        There can be an intense egoism in following everybody else.  People are in a hurry to magnify themselves by imitating what is popular–and too lazy to think of anything better.

        Hurry ruins saints as well as artists.  They want quick success and they are in such haste to get it that they cannot take time to be true to themselves.”

Thomas Merton, Seeds of Contemplation.
Anyway, I changed my template on March 7th, after which backlinks appear not to have been credited to me.
So I am thinking of changing my URL, which of course would wipe out a year’s stats–and would remove the tempation to pay attention to rankings, rather than the writing. Will update you guys if  I do so.
                                                                              * * *
I have a competitive streak, and it is not easy for me to do something without at least trying to be one of the best in my field.
But for blogging, I have decided NOT to try to scale up the blog rankings, because it will prove to be too addictive and time-consuming–and will devour time which could have been spent in reading and writing.
I will spend 45-60 minutes a day on blogging, write the best post I can in that time, and leave my position in the rankings to God.

Yet be it less or more, or soon or slow,
It shall be still in strictest measure even
To that same lot however mean or high,
Toward which time leads me and the will of heaven.
All is, if I have grace to use it so,
As ever in my great taskmaster’s eye.
John Milton, Sonnet VII
10 B) Stats.
And here are some stats, if they are of any interest to man or beast.
Last 30 days, Google Analytics

Site Usage

  • 3,993

Visits

  • 6,033

Pageviews

  • 1.51

Pages/Vi

TOTAL PAGEVIEWS

40,466

 

11) Request for feedback
What do you like best about my blog?
 What would you like to see more of?
Any feedback or suggestions would be most welcome.
And thank you for reading my blog:)

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A fifty percent chance of cockiness!

By Anita Mathias

Zoe

We are breaking Zoe into contact lenses. I would like Irene to have them too, but Roy says, “Just one girl at a time.”


I remembered the hassle it was getting me contact lenses at 16. Jamshedpur, the small Indian town we then lived in did not have a contact lenses clinic, so my dad took a train to Aligarh, and I took a train there from boarding school. We met up, stayed in a hotel, ate out, and got me lenses.


Why? Because we believed that people are more confident if they look more attractive, and so we believed shedding glasses might boost self-confidence!  


I can’t believe how vain I was at 16, and how much hassle I put my dad through!!
                                                                         * * * 


And now we are going through the break in to hard (rigid gas permeable) lenses with Zoe, and she’s giving us a bit of trouble to keep in them. Braces for her next month, fingers crossed. I never needed them. 


Irene asks, “Did you know we’d have weak eyes when you got married?”


Me, “Yes. Both of us have weak eyes.” 


Though mine are getting better each year with aging, and I may soon no longer need contacts, but reading glasses!!


Irene, “Was there anything you could have done?”


Me, “We could have not got married.”


She, considering this, “Oh!”


Roy, “But we also knew you would definitely be smart.”


Irene, cheering up, “Oh.”


Zoe, “And you also knew we’d have at least a 50 percent chance of cockiness.”


Roy and I in unison, “Oh, who do you think you got your cockiness from?”


Zoe, “No comment.”



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  • The Kingdom of God is Here Already, Yet Not Yet Here
  • All Those Who Exalt Themselves Will Be Humbled & the Humble Will Be Exalted
  • Christ’s Great Golden Triad to Guide Our Actions and Decisions
  • How Jesus Dealt With Hostility and Enemies
  • Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
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  • Don’t Walk Away From Jesus, but if You Do, He Still Looks at You and Loves You
  • How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
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anita.mathias

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Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
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