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Archives for October 2022

An Infallible Secret of Joy

By Anita Mathias 2 Comments

I have always hungrily sought joy–primarily in reading and poetry as a child and teen…  And, having lived in some beautiful places in my life, such as Nainital in the Himalayas during boarding school; and in Norham Gardens, facing the University Parks, for two years as an undergraduate at Oxford, I’ve almost unconsciously relied on natural beauty to lift my mood.

 

However, the first house that my husband Roy and I bought (in 1992, in cash, since the church we then attended taught, correctly!, that debt was a menace) though rambling and roomy, was in a city street in Minneapolis, close to the University of Minnesota where Roy was a postdoc. Houses to the left and right, in front and behind us. Walking through city streets, I’d wonder if joy was even possible in a busy twentieth-century city cut off from nature.

I asked a speaker at a retreat this question, and it led to a five-year discipling relationship in exchange for editing his first book. (Miller describes this exchange, significant for both of us, in his excellent A Praying Life.) My spiritual life deepened. I found joy in gardening, running, walking or travelling as a family, movies, gazing at art, reading and writing, in prayer and the Bible, in friendships, and the two book groups I run, but still, it was dappled joy as flickers and lightning bolts, rather than as a settled, abiding state.

My Christian book group has just read a brilliant book, The Divine Conspiracy, by Dallas Willard. He elucidates the secret of joy as expressed by New Testament writers. The secret of joy, Willard says, is to accept the life you actually have, with its frustrations, thorns and thistles, “as the place of God’s kingdom and blessing.” Consider trials and suffering pure joy, the Apostle James writes, and even rejoice in them, as the Apostle Paul says, because they develop perseverance, character and maturity. And these we need for a fruitful, happy, and successful life.

 

Our bodies can only become super-flexible through yoga and stretching; super-strong through lifting weights and resistance exercises; and gain endurance through long-distance runs or walks. Mastery, whether in writing or mathematics, only comes through homoeopathic doses of suffering… the more distractions and low-value activities we sacrifice for our craft, the better we get. And accepting the demands of life cheerfully—the discipline necessary to maintain good health, a tidy home, healthy relationships, and to work well, make money and save money—develops character.

 

Hassles, failure, illness, injustice, slander and long-deferred dreams are all things we can validly pray to be delivered from; “deliver us from evil,” we implore in the Lord’s Prayer, or as Jabez famously puts it, “Bless me so that I will be free from pain.” But burdens and challenges come as teachers. They tattoo lessons onto our skins and implant them in our brains.

I’ve gained my deepest convictions through failures and mistakes, for instance, reading or working so intensely, for so long, that I burn out.  These convictions include:

  • Get your house tidy before you read or write.
  • Make sure your body is happy before you read or write. Keeping your body happy helps keep your mind, spirit, and emotions happy. Burn off bad moods by running. As Rick Warren writes (in deeply wise daily emails you should subscribe to), If you want to change anything, start by changing your body.
  • Practice intermittent fasting. It will help you lose weight, and remember to pray. (I’ve lost 82 pounds!)
  • Avoid sugar and carbs.
  • Be friends with God. “Abide” in Jesus. If you are stressed, stop; re-establish peace with God before doing anything else.
  • Hey, forgive. Drop things into God’s hands; ask him to bring good from them.
  • Trust God. Drop life’s sadnesses, worries and conundrums into his hands.

And more recent “learnings.”

  • “People are God’s treasures,” in Dallas Willard’s phrase. How you treat people matters to God.
  • Prioritise friendship. Get together with friends twice a week. Have meaningful conversations. Life is too short for “small” talk.
  • All money is God’s money, in Rick Warren’s phrase. Don’t fret about it. God is the giver.
  • Wait twenty-four hours before writing or replying to contentious emails!

This is a secret of joy: “In everything give thanks,” as the Apostle Paul writes, because God, the great artist, can bring extreme goodness out of anything–character flaws, broken relationships, wasted time and effort, financial losses, life’s thousand sadnesses.  He is creative, wily and kind enough to do so. So train yourself to be happy, even grateful, in the murk and mud.

So I preach to myself–Count it all joy: the admin, the tedium, the hassles.  You are becoming strong by hefting the weights of life. Developing the character you’ll need to do what you really want to do with your life. Your failures teach you what you must learn to get good at life. And sometimes you’ll turn to God in desperation, and the Spirit will have his “dark descending,” in Gerard Manley Hopkins’ phrase, and pour God’s love into your heart. You will increasingly experience it—great waves of the love of God, shaking you.

AN OFFER

I have published a memoir recently, Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India, which took longer than it reasonably should have done.

Links–UK, US . Available wherever Amazon sells books, and through other online booksellers.

I would love you to read it.

A decade or so ago, the blogger and writer Jeff Goins offered to read a blog post, have a look at one’s blog site, and have a skype chat about both of them with anyone who bought his first book and sent him the receipt. Well, I was just experimenting with blogging, so I did, and he did. And I found it helpful.

So, now that I am figuring out creative ways to get my memoir into the hands of readers, I would like to offer something similar.

1 Buy a copy of the book in whichever country you are,

2A leave me a review on your Amazon site, 2B and pop it over onto Goodreads,

3 then send a screenshot or link to receipt and review to [email protected] and also your WhatsApp number (or we could connect on Facebook Messenger, Skype or Zoom) and we’ll have a 15 minute chat, video or audio as you prefer.

A conversation…about what? Anything you’d like to talk about, ask about, or discuss; anything you think I might be able to help you with. Here are some of my passions and interests: Writing. Reading. Prayer. The Bible. Theology and theological questions. (Hearing the voice of God. Spiritual disciplines like fasting).  The ketogenic diet and exercise (on which I’ve lost 82 pounds). Running book groups. Travel. Gardening. Decluttering. Parenting. Any thorny issues you’d like to talk or pray through.

I will definitely chat to everyone who buys a copy and reviews it, at the rate of one or two people a day, first come, first served, until I’ve chatted with everyone :-). Thank you.

 

Filed Under: Joy Tagged With: gratitude, joy, rejoice always

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Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

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My Books

Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India

Wandering Between Two Worlds - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

Wandering Between Two Worlds - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

Francesco, Artist of Florence - Amazom.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Story of Dirk Willems

The Story of Dirk Willems - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  • “Rosaries at the Grotto” A Chapter from my newly-published memoir, “Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India.”
  • An Infallible Secret of Joy
  • Thoughts on Writing my Just-published Memoir, & the Prologue to “Rosaries, Reading, Secrets”
  • Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India. My new memoir
  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
  • Trust: A Message of Christmas
  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner

Categories

What I’m Reading

Country Girl
Edna O'Brien

Country Girl  - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Confessions
Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Rousseau --  Amazon.com
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Amazon.co.uk

Mere Christianity
C S Lewis

Mere Christianity --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

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anita.mathias

If you'll forgive me for adding to the noise of th If you'll forgive me for adding to the noise of the world on Black Friday, my memoir ,Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India, is on sale on Kindle all over the world for a few days. 
Carolyn Weber (who has written "Surprised by Oxford," an amazing memoir about coming to faith in Oxford https://amzn.to/3XyIftO )  has written a lovely endorsement of my memoir:
"Joining intelligent winsomeness with an engaging style, Anita Mathias writes with keen observation, lively insight and hard earned wisdom about navigating the life of thoughtful faith in a world of cultural complexities. Her story bears witness to how God wastes nothing and redeems all. Her words sing of a spirit strong in courage, compassion and a pervasive dedication to the adventure of life. As a reader, I have been challenged and changed by her beautifully told and powerful story - so will you."
The memoir is available on sale on Amazon.co.uk at https://amzn.to/3u0Ib8o and on Amazon.com at https://amzn.to/3u0IBvu and is reduced on the other Amazon sites too.
Thank you, and please let me know if you read and enjoy it!! #memoir #indianchildhood #india
Second birthday party. Determinedly escaping! So i Second birthday party. Determinedly escaping!
So it’s a beautiful November here in Oxford, and the trees are blazing. We will soon be celebrating our 33rd wedding anniversary…and are hoping for at least 33 more!! 
And here’s a chapter from my memoir of growing up Catholic in India… rosaries at the grotto, potlucks, the Catholic Family Movement, American missionary Jesuits, Mangaloreans, Goans, and food, food food…
https://anitamathias.com/2022/11/07/rosaries-at-the-grotto-a-chapter-from-my-newly-published-memoir-rosaries-reading-steel-a-catholic-childhood-in-india/
Available on Amazon.co.uk https://amzn.to/3Apjt5r and on Amazon.com https://amzn.to/3gcVboa and wherever Amazon sells books, as well as at most online retailers.
#birthdayparty #memoir #jamshedpur #India #rosariesreadingsecrets
Friends, it’s been a while since I blogged, but Friends, it’s been a while since I blogged, but it’s time to resume, and so I have. Here’s a blog on an absolutely infallible secret of joy, https://anitamathias.com/2022/10/28/an-infallible-secret-of-joy/
Jenny Lewis, whose Gilgamesh Retold https://amzn.to/3zsYfCX is an amazing new translation of the epic, has kindly endorsed my memoir. She writes, “With Rosaries, Reading and Secrets, Anita Mathias invites us into a totally absorbing world of past and present marvels. She is a natural and gifted storyteller who weaves history and biography together in a magical mix. Erudite and literary, generously laced with poetic and literary references and Dickensian levels of observation and detail, Rosaries is alive with glowing, vivid details, bringing to life an era and culture that is unforgettable. A beautifully written, important and addictive book.”
I would, of course, be delighted if you read it. Amazon.co.uk https://amzn.to/3gThsr4 and Amazon.com https://amzn.to/3WdCBwk #joy #amwriting #amblogging #icecreamjoy
Wandering around Oxford with my camera, photograph Wandering around Oxford with my camera, photographing ancient colleges! Enjoy.
And just a note that Amazon is offering a temporary discount on my memoir, Rosaries, Reading, Steel https://amzn.to/3UQN28z . It’s £7.41.
Here’s an endorsement from my friend, Francesca Kay, author of the beautiful novel, “An Equal Stillness.” This is a beautifully written account of a childhood, so evocative, so vivid. The textures, colours and, above all, the tastes of a particular world are lyrically but also precisely evoked and there was much in it that brought back very clear memories of my own. Northern India in the 60s, as well as Bandra of course – dust and mercurochrome, Marie biscuits, the chatter of adult voices, the prayers, the fruit trees, dogs…. But, although you rightly celebrate the richness of that world, you weave through this magical remembrance of things past a skein of sadness that makes it haunting too. It’s lovely!” #oxford #beauty
So, I am not going to become a book-bore, I promis So, I am not going to become a book-bore, I promise, but just to let you know that my memoir "Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India," is now available in India in paperback. https://www.amazon.in/s?k=rosaries+reading+secrets&crid=3TLDQASCY0WTH&sprefix=rosaries+r%2Caps%2C72&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_10My endorsements say it is evocative, well-written, magical, haunting, and funny, so I'd be thrilled if you bought a copy on any of the Amazon sites. 
Endorsements 
A beautifully written account. Woven through this magical remembrance of things past is a skein of sadness that makes it haunting. Francesca Kay, An Equal Stillness. 
A dazzling vibrant tale of childhood in post-colonial India. Mathias conjures 1960s India and her family in uproarious and heart-breaking detail. Erin Hart, Haunted Ground 
Mathias invites us into a wonderfully absorbing and thrilling world of past and present marvels… generously laced with poetic and literary references and Dickensian levels of observation and detail. A beautifully written, important, and addictive book. Jenny Lewis, Gilgamesh Retold 
Tormented, passionate and often sad, Mathias’s beautiful childhood memoir is immensely readable. Trevor Mostyn, Coming of Age in The Middle East.
A beautifully told and powerful story. Joining intelligent winsomeness with an engaging style, Mathias writes with keen observation, lively insight and hard-earned wisdom. Carolyn Weber, Surprised by Oxford 
A remarkable account. A treasure chest…full of food (always food), books (always books), a family with all its alliances and divisions. A feat of memory and remembrance. Philip Gooden, The Story of English
Anita’s pluck and charm shine through every page of this beautifully crafted, comprehensive and erudite memoir. 
Ray Foulk, Picasso’s Revenge
Mathias’s prose is lively and evocative. An enjoyable and accessible book. Sylvia Vetta, Sculpting the Elephant
Anita Mathias is an is an accomplished writer. Merryn Williams, Six Women Novelists
Writing a memoir awakens fierce memories of the pa Writing a memoir awakens fierce memories of the past. For the past is not dead; it’s not even past, as William Faulkner observed. So what does one do with this undead past? Forgive. Forgive, huh? Forgive. Let it go. Again and again.
Some thoughts on writing a memoir, and the prologue to my memoir
https://anitamathias.com/2022/09/08/thoughts-on-writing-a-memoir-the-prologue-to-rosaries-reading-secrets/ 
#memoir #amwriting #forgiveness https://amzn.to/3B82CDo
Six months ago, Roy and I decided that finishing t Six months ago, Roy and I decided that finishing the memoir was to be like “the treasure in the field,” that Jesus talks about in the Gospels, which you sacrifice everything to buy. (Though of course, he talks about an intimate relationship with God, not finishing a book!!) Anyway, I’ve stayed off social media for months… but I’ve always greatly enjoyed social media (in great moderation) and it’s lovely to be back with the book now done  https://amzn.to/3eoRMRN  So, our family news: Our daughter Zoe is training for ministry as a priest in the Church of England, at Ridley Hall, Cambridge. She is “an ordinand.” In her second year. However, she has recently been one of the 30 ordinands accepted to work on an M.Phil programme (fully funded by the Church of England.) She will be comparing churches which are involved in community organizing with churches which are not, and will trace the impact of community organizing on the faith of congregants.  She’ll be ordained in ’24, God willing.
Irene is in her final year of Medicine at Oxford University; she will be going to Toronto for her elective clinical work experience, and will graduate as a doctor in June ‘23, God willing.
And we had a wonderful family holiday in Ireland in July, though that already feels like a long time ago!
https://anitamathias.com/2022/09/01/rosaries-readi https://anitamathias.com/2022/09/01/rosaries-reading-secrets-a-catholic-childhood-in-india-my-new-memoir/
Friends, some stellar reviews from distinguished writers, and a detailed description here!!
https://amzn.to/3wMiSJ3 Friends, I’ve written a https://amzn.to/3wMiSJ3  Friends, I’ve written a memoir of my turbulent Catholic childhood in India. I would be grateful for your support!
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