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When the Spirit Comes, Oh, You will be Unworthy

By Anita Mathias


When the Spirit comes, the one sure thing is: You will be unworthy.

You cower in the upper room, quite out of ideas and momentum, and he comes like tongues of fire, and your speech is enabled.

You stray into a Charismatic meeting aged 17, and joke about speaking in tongues–oh aren’t you suave and sophisticated?!– and at night you wake up, and, voila, you are speaking in tongues, which was the one gift you specifically asked not to receive, silly you.

And years later, a Vicar you secretly consider a Machiavellian Macbeth and cold as ice, lays his hands on your head and prays for a revelation of divine love, and oh, it comes, it comes, for keeps, and writer’s block fades, and you write fast, easily and much.

And at a Catch the Fire Conference, you look around, and second-guess and judge, oh you cold of heart and slow to believe, but you do learn soaking prayer, and your prayer life changes. And then your real life.

You arrive late at the worship service, having snapped and snarled at all who made you late—oh yes, you did!!—and you bow your head in shame…and then in worship, and you feel it, waves of mercy, waves of grace, of acceptance. You are loved. You are loved. You are the beloved.  That is your new name, and new identity. You will live out of that sacred centre.

The Spirit comes at church when you’ve just fought with your husband. He comes in the watches of the night. He comes when you garden. He comes.

He comes because you need him; he comes because you ask him; He comes because you don’t ask him, but because you need him.

He comes because he is God. He comes because he is good. He comes.

Come, Holy Spirit.

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  • In which the Kindly Light of Christ can Heal our Worst MemoriesIn which the Kindly Light of Christ can Heal our Worst Memories
  • “Thin Places,” Where the Boundaries between the Spiritual and Physical Worlds are Almost Transparent“Thin Places,” Where the Boundaries between the Spiritual and Physical Worlds are Almost Transparent
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Filed Under: In which I chase the wild goose of the Holy Spirit Tagged With: Baptism in the Holy Spirit, healing, Pentecost, Speaking in Tongues, The Holy Spirit

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Comments

  1. Mollie Lyon says

    June 22, 2014 at 10:44 am

    Just like God. Answers a pray not said. Answers quickly when you’ve waited so long.

    • Anita Mathias says

      June 23, 2014 at 10:50 pm

      “Answers quickly when you’ve waited so long.” I know. It can be annoying sometimes, can’t it? I think it’s all about his sovereignty!

  2. Steve Ratliff says

    June 20, 2014 at 2:43 am

    Blessing on you, Anita, for your insightful honesty. That’s just the word I needed to hear. So precious and true.

    • Anita Mathias says

      June 22, 2014 at 7:59 am

      Thanks, Steve, for this kind comment!

  3. Claudia says

    June 20, 2014 at 12:31 am

    Love it! So true.

    • Anita Mathias says

      June 22, 2014 at 7:58 am

      Thanks much, Claudia!

  4. mari howard says

    June 18, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    Yes!

    • Anita Mathias says

      June 19, 2014 at 1:04 pm

      🙂 Thanks, Mari!

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
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