I was fascinated by an early version of this piece on Kelly’s blog last year. It’s something I’ve often privately thought, but rarely seen expressed so clearly. So happy to host Kelly Youngblood here to day.
Often, the Sunday morning worship service is the Christian’s high point of the week. It’s considered the most important part of the Christian life. Church attendance is taken, because denominational headquarters like to see numbers. A chapter in a book I recently read was about the Sunday morning worship service, as was an an article I also read recently. This chapter and this article both had a similar feel to it–that the Sunday morning worship service is extremely important in the Christian life and most other events should not interfere with it. One time, I even heard a sermon about how there is really no excuse for not going to church on Sunday mornings.
19 The woman said to him, “Sir, I see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.” 21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” —John 4:19-24
Bio: Kelly J. Youngblood is a writer who blogs regularly (except when she doesn’t) at Renewing Your Mind. She likes to write about faith, life, doubt, and the Bible. When she isn’t writing, she’s a stay-at-home mom of her two sons, ages 6 and 3, who are very rambunctious and wear her out on a daily basis. In her spare time (ha!), she’s decided to start writing a novel in order to have an outlet for a more creative type of writing. She has a B.A. in English Literature from the University of New Mexico and has worked in the restaurant industry, the legal field, in churches, and for non-profits.
Over to you: Thoughts? Do you agree with Kelly?
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LA says
First of all, attendance on Sunday is not about us all the time. Sometimes when I’m really not feelin’ the magic about Sunday morning, I go anyway and I discover that I’m actually there for someone else. One time, I went when I didn’t feel like going (forced myself to go) and there was a middle-aged man outside looking pretty lost and other folks were just busy in their own thoughts and walking right by. He’d just lost his wife to cancer and was looking for someplace to be that morning to not be alone. I brought him in and sat next to him and we worshipped there together. At coffee hour, I introduced him around including another parishioner I knew in a similar situation. He still hugs me every time he sees me in church. If I had listened to that nagging “oh, don’t go today” voice, maybe nobody would have noticed him lurking outside the church and he’d have stayed lost. Church that day had nothing to do with me but my attendance was necessary to God’s Plan.
I firmly believe that regular church attendance is a habit that reaps many benefits, but that a good fit is essential.
Kelly J Youngblood says
Sure, I agree it shouldn’t be about us, and that is a great example you gave. But too often, it does become about us–I’ve had more conversations than I can count that start with “what did you think about the sermon?” or “I liked–or didn’t like–the music today”.
And sometimes, that “nagging voice” telling us to stay home may have a reason for staying home, too. The point is that we’re often so legalistic about attendance on Sunday morning that we can miss out on the myriad of ways God can be experienced elsewhere.
Anita Mathias says
I am with you, Kelly!
LA says
I guess I don’t see anything wrong with those conversations. Those aspects of church are for us, not God. They should engage and enhance our worship and if the discussion turns towards not liking the music or the sermon not speaking to you…always…then maybe it is time to find something that better speaks to you or whoever is saying that. And those conversations are a perfectly natural thing (especially for people who have to process on the outside of our heads). Luckily, there are many different avenues to Christ, and the music, worship style, sermon all should enhance, not detract from that. Discussing that openly is not wrong, it’s how some of us process that information.
Kelly J Youngblood says
I think we agree on that 🙂
Anita Mathias says
I agree with you, LA, sometimes we need to go for other people. But, sometimes in our frenzied lives, Sunday is the one unscheduled sleep-in day.
Of course, if one is living in such a way that one is too tired for church on Sunday–and sadly that is often the case with me–something needs to change.
However, we are commanded to rest on Sunday, not necessarily get up, clean up and get to church on time.
I often find being alone, and walking alone more refreshing than church.
Which might mean that my current church (evangelical, but not charismatic) is not a good fit for me. Which it isn’t. But I am too tired to change!
LA says
Not saying the occasional “hookey” isn’t good sometimes, but as you know…it’s easy to keep saying that enough times and pretty soon months have gone by and no church. Coming from the 3rd most unchurched state where attendance on Sunday is, frankly, abysmal, I can honestly say it IS hard for us to attend. Soccer and other sports are scheduled on Sunday mornings. Competitions, speech, debate clubs, etc…all Sunday morning. If one has kids here involved in anything extracurricular, it’ll be on Sunday mornings. The draw of the world is great here and finding a good church and becoming habitual about going is as much a gift to God as it is about oneself.
Also, I don’t understand what is so wrong about discussing the merits of the sermon after leaving church. The sermon is for us, not God. Good, bad, on topic, sublime, ridiculous, many of us process on the outside and need to “talk to think”…that isn’t evil, just the way God made us.
Kelly J Youngblood says
For a long time I had to work on Sunday mornings. But, I also went to a Bible study group on Tuesday evenings. It was great, and I learned and grew through that much more than I would have during “real” church on Sunday morning. That’s what I am trying to say–the day/time/location doesn’t really matter and we’ve made that Sunday morning experience into the most important one, when there are other things that can actually work better.
LA says
Excellent point, Kelly – it’s not really the “Sunday” thing, but something…habitually (like Steven Covey says, habit breeds success, whether it is in business or spiritual life)…feeds our souls.
John Vagabond says
During the sit-ins near St Paul’s in 2011, I wrote a piece about this, called “I don’t Like Church”. You might like it.
http://soupyskyepraise.blogspot.fr/2011/11/i-dont-like-church.html
kelli woodford says
YES. it is so nice to hear another voice saying this. and saying it so lucidly.
as a former pastor’s wife (been out of the ministry for 4 years), i can say that i have definitely participated in and witnessed this, Kelly. i don’t think it is the case in EVERY situation (i didn’t hear you saying that, either), but it can be an easy way to feel alright about one’s walk with God without having to do the hard internal work of letting Him in. and letting Him win.
since leaving a dysfunctional church and moving to another state last year, my husband and i have been shocked anew at how much of a “club” mentality there is in local churches. sermons are more about “look what we’ve done” and “don’t you want to join our club” rather than directing people to connect with God in the myriad of ways He is already pursuing them outside of the church walls.
thank you for this thought-provoking post. and Anita – thank you for hosting!
Kelly J Youngblood says
As a pastor’s wife, you’ve definitely seen it all, then!
You’re right; it’s not the case in every situation. And at times, I think we just need a break from the Sunday routine; I think that’s good for us. I rarely miss a Sunday (and it can start to feel too mundane and routine), but due to lots of traveling in June and July, I’ve hardly been, and I do find myself missing it.
I am thankful that the church I attend doesn’t stress that Sunday morning is the most important. In fact, on multiple occasions it’s been mentioned that when we “scatter” after the service and go through our week, that is of the most importance.
Anita Mathias says
So glad you liked it, Kelli. So did I!