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In which I resolve not to be afraid

By Anita Mathias

 

So the disciples row for “three or three and a half miles.” (I love these charming details, John striving to remember accurately, and how they make it easier for us to believe in truth of these memoirs and autobiographical reflections of Jesus.)

It’s dark; the wind is raging; the waters are rough.

And a figure looms out of the darkness, walking on the waters, approaching the boat.

And they cannot see his face; and they do not know his name

And understandably, they are terrified.

* * *

Who is he who comes walking on the waters, in the dark, when the winds rage, and the sea is rough?

The dark figure terrifies, until he speaks, “It is I. Do not be afraid.”

And that too is the aspect He sometimes wears. He shows himself sometimes when it is dark, and the winds are strong, and the waters are rough. He comes towards us, a dark figure, and we cannot see his face, and we do not know his name, and we are terrified.

But it is Him, nonetheless, and face to face with the stranger in the darkness, we are to remember God’s consistent command: Do not be afraid.

And so I will not be afraid.

I shall live, tasting the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

* * *

The Israelites response to the manna which sustained them was “What is it?” In Hebrew, Manna.

“Tell me your name,” Jacob uncertainly asks the dark figure who disabled him. “Who is it?” the disciples wondered, terrified, as a dark figure loomed of out the storm and darkness, approaching them. “Who is it?” they asked. Or “Manna.”

The answer was always, is always, the same. In sunshine, in abundance, in shadow, in darkness, amid the wind and waves,

It is the Lord.

* * *

Everything we have comes from God. He comes to us in spring and summer–and winter too. In day–and night too. In birth–and death too. In success–and failure too.  In health–and sickness too.

“Yes,” I say to the dark figure walking towards me amidst the roaring winds and stormy sea. “I know it is you. I have trusted you in the past and I trust you now. I know you.”

“And so, however the dice falls, I know nothing shall separate me from your love, and all shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well.”

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Filed Under: In which I resolve to live by faith

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Comments

  1. LA says

    March 8, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    There are people I’ve encountered in my life who have the “trust in God” thing so natural that it is truly beautiful.  Whatever happens in their lives, they know that God is with them and they have a special spring in their step.

    • Anita Mathias says

      March 8, 2013 at 10:54 pm

      Lovely. Probably a learned behaviour?

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Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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