It is I; don’t be afraid.
So, the disciples row for “three or three and a half miles” (I love these charming details, John striving to remember accurately, and how they make it easier for us to believe in truth of these memoirs and autobiographical reflections of Jesus.)
It’s dark, the wind is blowing, the waters are rough.
And a figure looms out of the darkness, walking on the waters, approaching the boat. Understandably, they are terrified.
But Jesus reassures them, It is I; don’t be afraid.
* * *
And that is the aspect He wears too. He shows himself sometimes when it is dark, and the winds are strong, and the waters are rough. He comes towards us, a dark figure, and we cannot see his face, and we do not know his name, and we are terrified.
But it is Him, nonetheless, and face to face with the stranger in the darkness, we are to remember God’s most consistent command from first to last: Do not be afraid.
And so I will not be afraid.
* * *
A health scare has been swirling around me for the last 3 weeks. Doctor’s visits, hospital visits, ultrasounds. Two more tests next week. I google. Oh what a dreadful thing to do, and yet, how can one not?
Who is he who comes walking on the waters, in the dark, when the winds are strong, and the sea is rough? The dark figure terrifies, until he speaks, “It is I. Do not be afraid.”
I will not be afraid. My next appointments are Monday and Thursday, but then I will have to wait for the results. I am not going to waste the time of uncertainty in fear, but live in trust, tasting the goodness of God.
I will taste the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
* * *
The Israelites response to the manna which sustained them was “What is it?” In Hebrew, Manna. “Tell me your name,” Jacob uncertainly asks the dark figure who disabled him. “Who is it?” the disciples wondered, terrified, as a dark figure loomed of out the storm and darkness, approaching them.
The answer was always, is always, the same.
It is the Lord.
* * *
Everything we have comes from God. He comes to us in spring and summer–and winter too. In day–and night too. In birth–and death too. In success–and failure too. In health–and sickness too.
“Yes,” I say to the figure, walking towards me on the stormy waters.
I pray that nothing will be malignant, that all will be benign. I pray for health.
But I also say to the dark figure walking towards me amidst the roaring winds and turbulent sea. “I know it is you. I have trusted you in the past and I trust you now. I know you.”
“And so, however the dice falls, I know nothing shall separate me from your love, and all shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well.”
Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
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My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) or UK
Thanks Dayna! What a very beautiful prayer!
Father, I want to pray for my sister in Christ. I bring her before you and ask that you grant her peace and good health. You already provided for it through your son Jesus, and now is her time to walk in your grace, because it is sufficient. Father you are the lifter of her head, her mighty fortress, her strong tower. Under you she dwells, in the shadow of your wings she abides. You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of Love, and a sound mind. Lord I pray when her thoughts begin to overwhelm her, you raise a standard against them. We overcome by our testimony, so help her through this test. I praise you and thank you for all you are and all you are doing in Anita- You are most excellent and mighty. Mighty to save, faithful to heal, and loving beyond measure. Amen.
Thank you, Tanya and Emma. I have generally had pretty good health, despite being overweight, so with all this, fear suddenly gripped my heart, and I realized I had to make a decision to trust God whatever the outcome, if I were to get through it serenely
Emma, thanks much for doing that guest post. It got lots of views!
Did you get your book off in time? Can't wait to read it.
Praying for you with your appointments anita: and thanks for speaking into my heart too.
Your trust and determination to trust are a spur to me; thank you.
Thanks, Archer. I feel happy when my posts speak to people!! Blessings too, Anita
Hi Anita,
(I think something messed up in my first comment — feel free to delete it!)
I clicked over here from twitter. Thanks so much for sharing this. It really spoke to my heart.
Blessings to you in your health journey.
Anita,
I clicked over to this post from twitter. It really spoke to me. Thank you!
– archer