The falcon soars, riding the winds, reaching for the clouds, until she reaches the limits of her leash. And then, at the will of the falconer, she is inexorably reeled down. Earthbound!
The eagle soars high, and higher still, effortlessly, soaring on thermal currents, using even obstruction currents to soar free.
* * *
What’s the leash which keeps us from the heights spiritually? That keeps us earthbound?
It’s often our little backpack of grudges, resentments, and injuries. Dislikes born of slights, and slight half-forgotten injuries. A “just you wait, Henry Higgins,” attitude. Stuff we just have to release.
How does one forgive? Let go of anger and deep-rooted injury? Funny, though I have done it again and again, I don’t really know how one lets go of deep-seated anger.
I have images that help me, though. Tearing the check of what people owe me. Tearing up the injury and throwing it away. Cutting the leash that binds me to the person. Erasing the record of the wrongs they’ve done me. Switching my focus to the beautiful face of Jesus.
Ultimately, forgiveness is an emotional miracle only accomplished by positioning oneself in the waterfall of God’s love. Letting it course through you so that what the other person did is small in comparison.
Ultimately, I think we cannot forgive on our own. We need God’s help.
* * *
Though there are strategies which help. Thank God for the good in the person you are struggling to forgive them. Ask God to help you see them as he sees them—with his magic eyes, which see people’s weaknesses and failures and always forgive and never despise. Ask God first to make you want to forgive. And then to give you the ability to forgive. Maybe, and this will be revolutionary—ask God to give you a love for the person you are struggling to forgive.
* * *
For in forgiving, the captive you set free is yourself. It sounds poetic, and perhaps clichéd, but it is absolutely true.
Matthew 18 21-35 explains it best. In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. The one who will not forgive is thrown into prison and tortured.
True? Oh my goodness, absolutely. Have you had the experience of a beautiful meal out or a lovely hike ruined by an argument over past injuries? Or the bitter memories of past injuries surfaces, and you express them, and that forest cat is out of the bag, with its claws, reinjuring you all over again? And the injury is almost as painful at the tenth or twentieth recounting as when it first occurred?
Release the forest cat of other people’s sins against you. Release it from your soul. If you seek to forgive, and ask God’s help in forgiving, and forgive again and again as you remember the past injury, eventually you will succeed.
* * *
Grace and Forgiveness, a brief 70 page book by John and Carol Arnott is the best book on forgiveness I have read. The writing is deceptively simple and the content deep and transformative, and so, ironically, it takes 2 or 3 readings for it to traverse “the longest distance in the world,”–the 18 inches from head to heart.
The Arnotts say, “When we choose to stop living in grace, like the unmerciful servant, effectively, we are choosing to step outside of the blessing and protection of God and deliver ourselves to “the torturers.” At all costs, then, we want to continue living in grace.”
They go on in this illuminating passage.
There are many Christians today who wonder, “Why does everything seem to go wrong in my life? Why does there seem to be a curse over my life?” There are trying to work out why there doesn’t seem to be any protection over their life.
Often, this is be because they have made the poor choice in their relationships with others to “bury,” the hurt and bitterness of past offenses instead of forgiving and releasing these to God. By their choices they have made themselves vulnerable to attack by Satan. By withholding mercy from others and exercising unforgiveness they have stemmed the flow of God’s blessing and protection over their lives, leaving them open to assault from demonic forces. Even if someone does the most terrible thing to you, you must never go back to the justice level. It must be grace, grace, grace. Leave justice with God. Do not allow your heart to become hurt, bitter and unforgiving.
Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Jesus placed the giving and receiving of forgiveness at the absolute center of the Christian life. We simply cannot take forgiveness for ourselves, but withhold it from others. “
* * *
I found this a switching-on-the-lights question to ask myself and others. Is there any area of my life in which I am stuck in prison, turned over to the jailors to be tormented? Weight? Household organization? Writing? Waking early?
Is unforgiveness playing a part? Unforgiveness of those who have caused or contributed to the problem? General unforgiveness? Releasing and forgiving those who have caused or contributed to the areas in which you are stuck may well help you get unstuck.
And I am off to do it now!!
More from my site
Keeping our Small Boat Afloat: Thoughts on Redemption, Giving up Regret, and my Thirty Year Marriage
God can Extract Gold from the Griefs of the Past
On the Surprising Physical and Mental Health Benefits of Forgiveness
On How Elephants Can Escape Their Chains, and We Can Too
The Best Way to Forgive–Bend in the Opposite Direction
Beautiful post. I am going through a difficult time at work. This blessed me. Thank you.
Thank you, Donna. I am glad you liked it!
Beautiful post and I think I shall share this in my Sunday School, edited down to 5th grade vocabulary. But I think the imagery of the falcon unable to fly free will speak to the kids wonderfully. Forgiveness is such a tough topic for kids because, I think, because it’s a trained and practiced skill and goes against our instinct. Early in our lives, the burned hand teaches best and our survival depends on not putting ourselves in damage a second time. But carried through our formative years, that same instinct I believe hinders our ability to forgive. If you really boil down forgiveness, it’s the ability to choose to give someone or a situation a second chance because you’ve given the hurt of the first encounter to God and have forgiven the person or the situation.
But I believe differently than the authors of the book about the Job-ish people in my life. They are generally not the unforgivers, but the unhealthy forgivers. The ones who forgive to the point they put themselves into harms’ way again and again. Their over-forgiveness leads to trusting the wrong kinds of people and situations over and over again. I believe forgiveness should be tempered with a good dose of honesty about the person’s honor and ability to hurt us again and again. We must say “no” sometimes in love while at the same time as forgiveness and healing occur.
The tough lesson for kids and us adults, therefore, is teaching them the art of forgiveness without teaching them to be an emotional doormat.
ecause it’s a trained and practiced skill and goes against our instinct. Early in our lives, the burned hand teaches best and our survival depends on not putting ourselves in damage a second time.
f you really boil down forgiveness, it’s the ability to choose to give someone or a situation a second chance because you’ve given the hurt of the first encounter to God and have forgiven the person or the situation.
WOW!
LA, you really, really need to have your own blog. YOu will find it very satisfying, I am sure.
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Actually, I don’t have the time to devote to writing. I find myself without enough time to do much of anything except drive my kid to all his activities and getting kids jazzed about science and math. 🙂 Thank you so much for the complement!!!